“OUR STORY [YunJae]”

“There’s something wrong with me, isn’t?” His question surprised the doctor who’s still checking on the MRI result.

“I could tell…” Jaejoong added. He laid his gaze on the blue-knotted bruises formed on his legs. He could feel it and he could see it through the doctor’s expression.

“Those rehabs are supposed to help me to get better, help me so that I can walk again…but it’s getting painful…and those several moments of black out…” Jaejoong paused to breathe properly. His hand instinctively travelled to his back, at his waist; massaging it softly hoping that it could reduce the stinging pain.

The doctor put away the MRI result and leaned forward, his hand rested on his desk – buying himself some times so that he can arrange his words.

“You’ve injured your spine in that accident…and badly damaged your nerves…paralysis is the foreseeable result…”

Swallowing hard, his breath caught in his throat.

“But you’ve told us that it’s treatable…”

“It is…but it requires a huge amount of patience…and times…you cannot rush it…forcing it will only make it worse…and another surgery-”

“It’s 50-50 chance. It may or may not succeed at all” Jaejoong cut him off; quoting what the doctor said to him before.

“Yes…but the chance is there…what you’re doing right now; we both know how it will end – 100%...”

There might be a possibility that he will stay paralyzed after the operation, so after taking everything into consideration, he didn’t think staying in law school would do him any benefit – the circumstances doesn’t allow him to, not when he’s in that condition.

When he’s hanging in between the life and death; Jaejoong swore that if he’s given another chance to live, he would do all the things that would make him and everyone’s around him happy. It’s time for him to do what please his heart and live with no regret.

What will please his heart is Yunho but he guess, even that he has to let go.

“Yunho” He echoed; his name a caress on his lips.

Sooyoung and Jin Hee exchanged glances. Both of them shared the same expression on their faces; concerned with the maknae’s condition. Health issue is the least problem at the time as the invisible scars inside Jaejoong’s heart is in the question.

“Jaejoong-ah…are you sure you have no one else to meet? To say goodbye?” Jin Hee looked in her rearview mirror as she asked him.

Jung Yunho maybe? – that particular question was left lingered in the air.

Even without asking him directly, they believed only that man fills up every space in Jaejoong’s mind and naturally, only that man he’ll think of when that question was brought up. Jaejoong turned to look at them for a moment, letting for his brain to absorb that question fully as he’s seeking for another name to mention other than Jung Yunho.

“No…not anymore…”

His answer sounded more like a brush-off in their ears; noticing the subtle signal for them to just leave it as that. Refusing to drop the subject, Sooyoung pulled the string.

“What about your boyfriend? Shim Changmin?” She intentionally led him to that path even though she’s aware that Changmin’s no longer the love of his life.

“He’s not my boyfriend…we broke up last year…”

Of course they know about it. They just pretended they didn’t. Whatever Jaejoong’s trying to hide from them, even though they’re not telling him, they will always find out.

“…and yes…I’ve met him last night, told him about my leaving…” and some other things.

*Flashback

“I guess…we’re definitely better off as friends…”

Changmin stopped dribbling his ball and let it bounces freely on the court. He grabbed the towel from his bag, burying his face in it and scrubbed hard. Friends? He regretted it. He doesn’t want to be friends. He wanted them to be together like they used to. Because he’s idiot, he couldn’t admit it.

But even if he says it out loud, he knew that it’s already too late.

“For the first time in my life…I can imagine my future with him, Changmin-ah…you know I don’t do that, right? Because I don’t want to dream about something that’s unsure…but with him, we’re still nowhere from being lovers but I’ve already dreaming to spend my whole life with him…he makes me feel that way…he shows me a different sides of world…” He paused to catch a breath. And a heartbreaking memory washed over him.

“…and now I’m sitting here…pouring it out to you how I’m really happy…and at the same time crying over it…” He said lowly. Sitting with his body hunched down, he had his eyes transfixed on his own hand and there’s a trace of tears in it.

Changmin walked over to him and settled down on the same bench.

“I don’t know how to make it stop, Changmin-ah…because it really hurts me… I just want to forget and move on…accept that we’re not meant to be together…but how can I do that? How can I erase someone that I love the most?” Another drop of tears fell down onto his palm and he closed it, threw his pleading gaze at Changmin.

Watching him with an aching heart, Changmin wrapped his arm around Jaejoong’s shoulders and pulled the latter closer. He awarded Jaejoong a soft peck on his forehead and another one right on Jaejoong’s lips. Jaejoong stayed still, neither pushing him away nor did he respond to it.

“The reason why I love you is because it’s you, Jaejoong-ah…and love needs to be spoken out…you keep it and lock it inside your heart, it’ll eat you alive…even if you’re suffering for loving him too much, he won’t know…because you never give him a chance to find out…”

“…but if you let it out, even if it hurts you for being rejected, it won’t last long…the pain will subside and you’re allowed to move on…so let it out, tell him how he’s a lucky bastard to be able to steal your heart…” Changmin breathed out, looked Jaejoong straight in his eyes.

“…but if he don’t accept you, he’s just…well…a bastard…”

Changmin squared his shoulder and smiled at Jaejoong. His statement earned a soft chuckle from Jaejoong. The tears rolled down but his smile shone. Changmin’s glad that he’s still able to make Jaejoong smile.

A bastard – Changmin mentally mocked a laugh. He’s the idiot bastard for letting Jaejoong go.

 *Flashback End

The word ‘I love you’, he couldn’t just let it go. He couldn’t love; he doesn’t deserve to be loved. ‘Flaws’ could be eternally scribbled down in his lifetime record. Yunho would be better off with someone else and not him.

“You are hurt…” Yunho muttered, trailing his fingers over the bump.

“Here…a good luck charm…”

It happened so fast for Jaejoong’s brain to absorb. Every muscle of his body went numb when Yunho suddenly kissed him on his forehead. The touch of his lips felt so tender that he felt like his limbs are melting. And not just that, the pain on his forehead’s miraculously receding.

Yes…Yunho would definitely be better off without him. But what about him? Can he live without Yunho? He should. Not seeing him would help him to forget. It would torment him for the first few weeks but it’s not something new. He’s been through that several times before after the break ups. Yes…he could. Even if he misses Yunho, even if he long for him badly, he will hold it in. Even if it’s so hard and he feels like to cry, he will hold it in nevertheless.

Yunho advanced toward him.

“W-what are you doing?” Cautiously, Jaejoong retreating until he was backed up against the wall.

“Measuring…” He braced both of his hands on each of Jaejoong’s sides; his eyes were on the same level as Jaejoong.

“M-measuring?” Jaejoong blinked his eyes rapidly, not catching it. Yunho’s foolish grin however was telling him that he’s up to no good.

“So…you’re really short…”

“What? Short?!!!” Jaejoong pushed Yunho’s chest with both of his hands and made an escape. Standing face to face with Yunho but with a little bit of room to breathe, Jaejoong scoffed.

“Correction…I’m shorter than you…not that I’m short!”

“Oh really?” Yunho teasingly provoked. He shifted closer to Jaejoong and re-measured their heights.

“Yes! See-” Jaejoong’s voice choked at his throat when he realized how close they’re standing with each other. It’s so dangerously close that when he lifted up his face to look at Yunho’s eyes, their lips were about to meet.

Both of them gasped and Jaejoong could feel his heart palpitated. Yunho’s brown eyes flashed and he could feel that he wasn’t the only one who’s having that kind of jittery feeling.

Jaejoong threw his gaze out of the window, up above on the sky.

“I must be really crazy…”

When he’s about to leave everything behind his back, when he’s making a new step to discard Yunho out of his heart – all he could remember was nothing but the good things. All the good memories came floating around, one scene after another just like they’re reminding him how the love bloomed inside his heart.

And how it’s worth for him to fight for.

“Yes…I’m really crazy…”

*****************************************

Yunho slowed down to catch his breath. The tears he shed out of longing and his eyes that are looking for Jaejoong; always looking for him.

“Jaejoong-ah…don’t leave me, please…” Is it really that impossible for his love to reach Jaejoong?

“KIM JAEJOONG!!!”

The cold morning wind blows as the hot tears stung his eyes. He stopped running and the car’s already out of his sight. Why out all of days, he chose last night to get drunk? They kept missing out each others’ path like they’re really not meant for each other. Are they?

All he wants is for Jaejoong to be his only love.

His gaze trailed off to his foot. He brushed his tears and blew out a defeated sigh. Inhaling deeply, he breathed out another then half-heartedly turned around. Is there any other way for him to suppress his b feeling, he wondered.

“Yah Jung Yunho!”

Yunho jumped, then whirled. With his eyes wide opened, he stared at Jaejoong – stunned.

“Next time if you want to call me, maybe you should consider using your phone instead…” Jaejoong waved the smart phone inside his hand; a shadow of smile curved at the corner of Jaejoong’s mouth.

“I…” Yunho let out a small chuckle, silently admitting how silly he is.

But when he rethinks it through; he thought he deserve a pat on his back for his courage. He woke up with the worst hangover that morning; sprinted out of his room chasing after Jaejoong. No phone and not even using his car; grimacing at the thought of his stomach content gurgled up. He gulped down and gaze at Jaejoong.  Both of them weren’t saying anything for a long moment, only staring.

Yunho was afraid that it was just an illusion made of his desperation. He was scared that Jaejoong would disappear when he take the first step closer. He feared that they’ll grow farther apart even by just an inch. 

And when those thoughts swarmed inside his head all at one times, he began to panic.

“You’re here…” He said it aloud, trying to convince himself. With slow steps, he bravely moved forward.

“I’m not going anywhere. Not after I tell you what I want you to know…” Jaejoong replied and took a step closer to Yunho.

“No…you should listen to me first…I-”

“I love you…” Jaejoong cut him off and confessed to him first before he could.

“W-what?”

“You’re obviously not my type...there’s nothing about you that appeal me…you don’t play basketball, you’re not even that tall, you’re surrounded by those clingy girls, you’re a law student which means that we’re basically sharing the same knowledge though I believe I might be one level above you…and you’re one snobbish obnoxious jerk I’ve ever met! You don’t even know what I’m thinking most of the times, and it really annoys me when you don’t even try to understand my feeling a bit!”

Yunho’s eyes grew wider and wider as his brain’s absorbing everything that Jaejoong’s spurting out of his mouth. It was a shocking revelation!

“I’m sick and my heart feels worst...for hiding it from you…” the tears sparkled in Jaejoong’s eyes as he lowered down his voice.

“Jung Yunho…I love you…I really love you…”

Jaejoong froze on his spot and noticing the space in between them, Yunho shifted closer.

“Kim Jaejoong…I love you…I love you for almost 5 years already…”

“W-what?” This time, it was Jaejoong who’s shocked and speechless.

“The only reason why I couldn’t read what you’re thinking is probably because you’re already filled up my head to the max…I wouldn’t try to understand your feeling because it was overpowered by my own feeling for you…”

“Kim Jaejoong… you’re my first love and I want you to be the last as well...No…I want you to be my only love… For the past 4-5 years, you’re the only one I love…and I’ll continue to love you for 50 years to come…” Relief shone in his eyes now that he finally let it out of his chest. He wiped away the line of tear on Jaejoong’s cheek and broke into a grin.

“So I guess…I won right?”

“I’m sorry?” Jaejoong blinked his eyes at him.

“I’m not your first love…not even the second one…I doubt that I’m third or the fourth, or the fifth-”

“Okay I got it! I got it!”

“You don’t even love the Jung Yunho I used to be…you know the nerd one…with the thick glasses on…and the books…shabby stripe clothes…” Yunho exclaimed, looking more cheerful by the moment.

“Yeah I got your point…I’m the actual clueless jerk…” Jaejoong pushed Yunho out of his way and walked away with his arms crossed – sullen.

“Yah~ where are you going?! You’re not actually leaving me, right?”

“I just came to you to confess…not that I say I want to spend the rest of my life with you!” Jaejoong shouted, not even looking back.

“BUT I DO! I WANT TO SPEND EVERY SECOND WITH YOU, KIM JAEJOONG! FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! THERE I SAID IT!”

Jaejoong stopped on his track. That confession touched his heart to the very bottom part. Having to experience such feeling, it flattered him. He’s glad that his heart’s making the right decision to love Yunho but he wished that he could give it back to Yunho in an equivalent value. Now that he has nothing and he’d probably end up burdening Yunho for the rest of their lives, but he thought as long as he loves Yunho more, they would be fine. But to find out that he’s practically everything to Yunho? How could he deal with that?

Jaejoong’s body stiffened when Yunho suddenly wrapped his arms around his waist; drawing him close to him till his back pressed against Yunho’s chest – hugging him from the back. That was the first time they’re ever sharing the intimate body contact with each other.

“Be with me…I don’t mind that I’m not your first…I don’t mind if I’m the one who loves you more than you do…as long as you love me too…and as long as you want to be with me…I promise…I’d make you the happiest person ever…”

“What did I do in my past life to deserve you and your love like this, Yunho-ah? It might not even worth it…I-” Jaejoong’s heart constricted.

“I don’t care… whatever happens in the future, let’s face it together…so please…don’t ever leave me…I love Jaejoong-ah…I really love you…”

Jaejoong didn’t know whether to smile happily or cry. So he did both as he nodded.

“I love you too…” He said, laughter mingling with his tears.

“I love you so much...” and surprised at how smoothly those three words came out from his mouth now.

*****************************************

“Yunho-ah…looks…it’s the first snow!” Jaejoong ran out of the house, straight to the front yard. He spread his arms wide open and spun around.

As soon as he realized that Yunho wasn’t following him, he rushed back into the house and found that Yunho’s still stuck behind the desk – in front of the laptop.

“What are you doing? Hurry up…let’s make a wish…!”

“Wait…I’m posting ‘Our Story’ here…”  

“That can wait…and besides, our story will still continue for as long as we live and for as long as we are together…” Jaejoong pulled Yunho out of his chair and clasped their hands together as they made their way out of the house.

Upon the fallen snow, they made a wish to be together for as long as they’re allowed to, to cherish their lives, to cry and laugh together and of course to love each other endlessly.

Jaejoong dropped his hand and turned to look at Yunho who hasn’t done making his wish yet. He smiled sneakily.

“So…can you tell me what you wished for?” Jaejoong nudged Yunho.

“Hmm…let me think…” He pulled Jaejoong by his waist and into his embrace closer and closer. Until their lips brushed each other for a deep kiss. They retreated not long after that, just for a brief break when Yunho’s lips sank soft and warm against Jaejoong’s pouty one for another kiss.

*****************************************

“One of the most amazing things in the world is having someone fall in love with you who you thought you never had a chance with”

I guess that phrase best applied in my story. I never once thought that Jaejoong who to me is always flying above and out of my reach would fall down to earth one day – right into my arms. His smile as warm as the sun now is the light that bright up my life. And just like the sun that peek out after the dawn every morning, Jaejoong’s face greets me whenever I wakes up.

Jaejoong’s operation succeeded but his phobia remains. But at least, he’s not fighting it alone anymore because I’m with him.

We’ve been together for almost 5 years now and I’d never get tired of his murmurs, his soft sighs, his whines, his laughs and even his tears. They are the most beautiful melody in the world – they are like the oxygen for me to breathe. I guess those 4 years of waiting was worth it – Yunho.

*****************************************

“If you are happy with the wrong one, just think how happy you are when the right one comes”

What I want is not necessarily what I need. That’s what I learned after I met Yunho. Changmin is a complete package to everything that I desire and we’re perfectly happy when we’re together that we practically can read what’s inside our minds. Because of him and because our relationship, I grew comfortable with that situation that I was hoping to find someone that could be like him.

And when Yunho came, it’s like a huge shock to my peaceful world. He’s everything that I don’t like and one that I can’t even predict. But he’s the one that I need. Because of him, my life turned out to be even beautiful, thrilling and worth fighting for.

Oh and...I sometimes threatens to go back to Changmin whenever we have a clash opinion over something...really love watching him squirming and sulking – Jaejoong.

*****************************************

Whenever we talk about love, both of us always met with a different idea about how it's supposed to be. But we came to an agreement that living together is not always about love. The trust, the tolerance and respect are what strenghthen the relationship because without these elements, even the love will wither away. Seriously, we have nothing in common but we completed each other and no matter how much we argued, we fought, the love continue to grow.

“I’m Jung Yunho”

“…and I’m Kim Jaejoong…”

“…and this is OUR STORY”

[END^^]

*****

A/N: Fuhh~~~ it’s really the end...I don’t know whether it’s a good ending or not...and I don’t know whether it’s satisfied or not. But I really hope that you guys would enjoy it...thank you so much~~~

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