~Let me hold you tight...let me do it even once...and I'll never let you go...~

“Yun…thanks! We’ll meet again later on okay…” With a cheerful tone he waved goodbye to Yunho while Yunho replied him with a happy smile. He drove his car away while Jaejoong ran entered the house expected a surprise from Hyun Joong.

*FLASHBACK

He was having a shopping time with Yunho at the mall an hour ago when he bumped into Hyun Joong office-mate telling him that they’re back early from the outstation.

“Really…? But he didn’t tell me…” Jaejoong was confused by now. He changed his glance with Yunho and to the person in front of him.

“Ahh…today is your anniversary right…he must be preparing a surprise for you at home and that’s why he didn’t tell you…” Hyun Joong’s friend gave them an assured smile and didn’t forget to . Hearing those, Jaejoong’s cheek was tinted in a pink color; blushing.

*FLASHBACK END

“HYUN JOONG-AH!!!! I’M HOME! WHERE ARE YOU?!” Jaejoong put down all the shopping bags on the table with his eyes zoomed through the entire house looking for Hyun Joong.

“AAAHHHHH!” A loud voice was heard coming from the bedroom upstairs startled Jaejoong.

“Hyun Joong-ah…! Are you okay…?” Jaejoong was climbing the stairs case hurriedly after hearing Hyun Joong’s voice groaning afraid that something might be happening to his husband.

“Aaahhh…aahhh…Hyun Joong-ah…g-gentle…”

Jaejoong’s steps died in the middle of his running. He heard a woman’s voice coming from their bedroom; . His heart’s beating furiously and his body started to sweat; feeling chill ran through his bones.

“No…I-I can’t s-stop…Aahhh….feel so g- good…”

And Jaejoong heard that. Of course he recognized that voice. Too familiar to avoid.

“W-we just do it 15 aahhh…m-minutes ago…aaahhhhh…y-you can do it…ahhh…with Jaejoong aahhh…later…”

“Yahh…don’t m-mention his n-name…aaahhhh…you ruin the moment…aaahhh…”

Jaejoong felt the steps getting heavy and heavy till he had to drag his feet. Through the crack of the open door he could see the clothes were all scattered randomly on the floor including a woman’s clothes. With a tremble hand he gathered all the strength left to push the door.

And the tears that flooded on a corner of his beautiful eyes rolling down slowly one by one. To see his husband in that state, he was good enough to cry silently.

“H-hyun Joong…” And tears cannot hide anymore. Both of couple that was in the middle of hot that not even reach at the part yet gasped in surprised as they were caught red handed.

“J-Jaejoong-ah…” Hyun Joong tried to lift his left leg trying to cover the huge mistake he made but stopped as Jaejoong raised his hand while the other cupping his mouth.

“Don’t…” A simple word uttered but full with a heartbroken feeling.

“I’m sorry to i-interrupt you…but I wasn’t expected for you to give this k-kind of gift on our w-wedding anniversary…” Jaejoong closed his eyes tightly with the hope to erase that hurtful picture.

“T-Thanks…” Jaejoong turned around and ran with all his might and heart till he reached outside the house. Standing at the front stairs, he dropped down on his knees still crying. He fished out the phone from the pocket.

“Y-Yun…Could you turn back and take me with you…?” He wiped off the runny tears on his cheek.

“Jae…?” Yunho showed his care feeling; worried.

“Please…” And Jaejoong was no longer hid his current situation.

“JAEJOONG-AH!” Jaejoong heard his name was called from the inside of the house. Lifted his body from the sitting position, he ran all along the road leaving the house immediately.

“Yun…I need you…YUN I NEED YOU!!!”

*************************************************************************************

Jaejoong was sitting on the bench outside of Yunho’s house seems to be lost in space; again. It’s been a week already since that incident occurred and Hyun Joong didn’t even call him asking for forgiveness. And since then as well, Jaejoong kept doing the same thing crying and spacing out a lots.

Meanwhile Yunho was observing Jaejoong from inside the house through the curtain of the window. From the reflection on the window, a transparent line created on his cheek. Leaning on the wall, he looked at the dull ceiling and sighed heavily.

“Jaejoong-ah…even in this situation, is him that you can only see…?” He sighed again and brought his feet to the kitchen hall. He put down two cups of tea on the tray and walked outside of the house approaching Jaejoong.

“Here…” Yunho shoved a cup of tea to Jaejoong but Jaejoong seems lost in his own world and ignoring the presence of him by his side.

Yunho placed the cup aside and sighed again. Yunho raised both of his hands slowly and rested them on both of Jaejoong’s shoulders. With one swift, he changed Jaejoong’s position to look at him and…
 

Jaejoong stunned with his eyes wide open, bulge ready to pop out. Their lips were now connected to each other. Jaejoong frozed.

“y-yun…” Jaejoong stuttered once Yunho released his lips from his.

“Can you see me now…?” Yunho asked the dumbfounded Jaejoong.

“E-ehh…?”

‘It’s weird…I don’t know why Yunho acted that way to me but…what more weird…I didn’t pushed him away but stayed still…It was like I’m longing for it…but from who…? It’s not that I used to kiss with Yunho before…but…but his warm lips feel so familiar…’ Jaejoong looked at Yunho again while blinking his eyes rapidly.

“Can you at least trying to look at me now…? Only look at me…only me…” Yunho asked him again without explain anything to the curious Jaejoong.

“Y-Yun…” And again Yunho leaned down and kiss Jaejoong once again.

“What about now…? Can you see me now…?” Yunho held onto Jaejoong’s hand kissed it softly. He desperated enough to do that so that Jaejoong can pay his attention to him.

“Did it still hurt now…? Your heart…?” Yunho pointed at Jaejoong’s left chest. Jaejoong brought his hand to touch his chest to feel his heartbeat that was running in fast speed.

‘I’m feeling suffocated now…’ Jaejoong shook his head slowly neglected the fact that his heart beat was beating madly with unknown reason.

He didn’t have the answer for it but have no guts to ask for it too. He ended up to stared at Yunho’s face only. Yunho passed up a cup of tea to him but instead of drinking it he just continued staring at Yunho’s calm face who was sipping his tea gently. Yunho looked so calm and peace but Jaejoong felt his heart fluttered and continued beating nervously.

*Jaejoong’s POV

And I think, since then I could only see you Yunho-ah…You stole all my attention now. Even for a simple a stupid thing, I could only see your face kept displaying in my eyes. What happened to me, Yun…? Is it okay for me to act like this…towards his bestfriend…?

*************************************************************************************

Jaejoong sprung out from his sleep with the bead of cold sweats can be seen on his forehead. He’s having a nightmare again. But this time it’s not regarding to his parents who died in tragedy of plane crash long time ago but because of something else. He turned to see the person sleeping next to him expected to find his husband but only be greeted with the neat bed sheet.

“But I’m no longer have the tears to cry…I feel like i don’t need to…I just need…Yunho…” Jaejoong said after he examined the surrounding. He wiped the sweat off his forehead.

“It’s 3 in the morning…” Jaejoong grabbed the small alarm clock on the bedside table.

He found it trouble to wake up early in the morning because usually it’s hard for him to back on sleep. At that time he realized that all these times; Yunho is the only one that can put him back to sleep. His body shivered the moment his feet came in touch with the frozen floor. He rubbed his arm to transfer the warmness to his body. He’s now was sitting on the bed with feet on the floor looking aimlessly on the bed.

“Yunho…” He mentioned the name; the owner of the house where he was staying right now.

Luckily the guest room with the main room is not that far. He wanted to knock the door but retreat that intention after thinking twice. He doesn’t want to disturb Yunho early in the morning. On his attempting to twist the door knob open; he succeeded. With a wide smile he stepped inside the room carefully avoid making any nuisance to the owner of the room. He was thinking that maybe Yunho could allow him to sleep with him that night; again.

He was taken aback by surprised just to see that Yunho wasn’t sleeping but instead reading the magazine while leaning on the head board on the bed. The light coming from the lamp on the bed side table is the only light that shines through the dark.

“Jaejoongie…you’re here…come…” Yunho put down the magazine on his laps and then patted the bed next to him invited for Jaejoong to have a seat there.

“You’re not sleeping…? Did I disturb you…?” Jaejoong asked in taking precaution didn’t want to be a burden to Yunho though Yunho never mention about it.

“I’m waiting for you…” Yunho gave a stifle smile to Jaejoong when Jaejoong moved closer to him. Yunho helps him to open up the blanket for Jaejoong to enter and then pulled the blanket up to Jaejoong’s chest; letting it wrapped him in warm.

“Why you’re waiting for me…?” Jaejoong asked out of curiosity.

“You’re having a nightmare again am I right…?” Jaejoong nodded in shame.

“You can move in to my room if you want…” Yunho threw out an idea to Jaejoong. Jaejoong smiled sheepishly assuming that Yunho was teasing him.

“I’m serious…” And he was too happy that makes him to just look at Yunho smiling. Yunho’s fingers tangle at Jaejoong’s hair; played with it while Jaejoong just staring dreamingly at him.

*Jaejoong’s POV

I don’t know since when this feeling developed in my heart. But I can tell it’s getting increased. But Yun, is it okay for me to have this kind of feeling for you…? Who am I in your eyes…? Am I just your friend Yunho…? If I could be brave enough to ask these bothering questions to you…

Jaejoong-ah…

I don’t know how to be brave to confess to you…

I want to give all my heart to you…

I want to have you just for myself…

I promised you that I would treasure every second I’m with you…

I don’t want to be a person that could only smile for you…

But I also want you to be the one who smile for me too…

Be my guest…Be my friend…Be the owner of my heart…

Please…Just say yes…

*************************************************************************************

“Jaejoong-ah…” Yunho called Jaejoong from the bathroom as Jaejoong was putting some clothes on his body.

“Emmm…” Jaejoong answered simply when standing in front of the mirror. He gathered their dirty clothes into a laundry basket after finished dressing up.

“I have to go to an out-station…to Paris…” Yunho opened the bathroom door and stood up with only a towel at his waist. He didn’t completely drying up his body presuming from the water that can be seen still dripping through his body.

“…Ohhh…when…?” Jaejoong stopped from what he was doing but still didn’t face Yunho. His voice sounded like upset.

“Tomorrow…If I finished early then I’ll come back early…I can’t tell for how long I’ll be there…” Yunho stepped inside the room didn’t go straight to Jaejoong but to the drawer nearby. Jaejoong was still frozen at his place and Yunho did notice it.

“…O…Okay…” Jaejoong’s voice sounded almost inaudible to Yunho’s hearing. Yunho pulled something out from the drawer and moved closer approaching Jaejoong.

Working outside of the country became synonym to him already but definitely not to his liking because as far as he remembered whenever Hyun Joong mentioned about it that’s mean he will be left behind for a quite long time. After what had happened, he can’t find the word comfort and ease unless he’s with Yunho. Will Yunho betray him too like what Hyun Joong had done…? That’s what he was wondering before Yunho broke his cloud of thought.

“Here…”

Jaejoong’s widened his eyes when Yunho placed two tickets to Paris on the bed right in front of him He changed his eye sight to look at Yunho. Yunho stood in front of the wardrobe trying to find something comfortable to wear.

“I’m asking you to come with me to Paris…” Yunho answered even before Jaejoong could throw him a question.

If we could list down the name of people who understand Jaejoong the most, Yunho would be the winner. He knew Jaejoong demanded an explanation from him as he kept on staring at Yunho waiting patiently.

“Y…You’ll bring me too…?” Jaejoong stuttering still in disbelieve. Yunho nodded as he took out a white plain shirt and put it on his body.

“Y…You can do that…?” Jaejoong asked again but this time he gained courage to move his body to walk closer to Yunho. He adjusted Yunho shirt and helped him in buttoning it.

“Why not…? Well…maybe you will feel boring for while waiting for me finishing my works but I promised you it won’t take long…” Jaejoong’s eyes shot straight into Yunho’s brown one.

“I don’t mind that…it just that…Hyun Joong…he…” Jaejoong stopped in the middle of his sentence and didn’t continue.

“It’s decided then…You’ll come with me…we have lots of things to do tonight…packing up the belongings…we might stay there a bit longer than we’re expected…” Yunho changed the topic didn’t intend to listen about the story which even that name he couldn’t stand to hear.

“Emm…Yun…” Jaejoong called him with his soft voice that was like a drug to Yunho.

“Why are you bringing me too…? You don’t have to, you know…I can wait for you here…” Jaejoong fiddled with his long fingers feeling guilty that he might be just a burden to Yunho to bring along together while he’s working.

“I will never allow you to wait for me…for my whole life, I’m letting myself to wait for you…Because I insisted to…it’s better if you’re with me…more better when you’re with me…” Yunho then walked outside of the room and heading to the living room leaving the beautiful creature in the room that was thinking deeply.

*Jaejoong’s POV

Why do I feel like this…? What is he doing…? Why do I keep comparing Yunho with Hyun Joong…? Why do I feel so selfish to have Yunho for myself only…? I want him to look at me…Always look at me and no other person…I want him to comfort me…I want him to hug me to sleep every night…I want him to dream of me only…Only me…What about Hyun Joong?

I can feel that Hyun Joong is getting farther away from me…

I looked at the neglecting tickets on the bed once again. Hyun Joong never once asked me to go with him…and I did it again…compared Hyun Joong with Yunho. I grabbed the tickets and placed them on my chest just like I was hugging the most precious thing in my life.

Is it okay for me to behave like this…?

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ellerdyz : yes, he's married to Hyun Joong but Yunho was always by his side, never leave him alone... But now I guess, you've got your answer already that it's not one sided love...thanks for reading!

SS501angel : oh really? thank you so much! glad that you like it...continue reading okay and support me! thanks for reading!

Jungshushu : thank you so much for your support! I'm glad t have you...I'll post all of my one-shot fic inclusing the latest one...thanks for reading!

STARLeee : here another one! pity Yunnie am I right...don't worry...Jaejoong started to focus on him now...thanks for reading!

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