I.

Himchan, at first, didn’t think it was possible to meet someone like her. He was always on the spotlight, surrounded by artists and stars who share his bright personality. They had to be, because they were looked up to. They were melded to be perfect. They were made to be that way.

Sometimes Himchan thinks he might actually be born to be that way. Handsome, bright, funny, lovable, witty and smart yet humanely so. He had that effect on people; they think he was born with such character. But idols aren’t born. They are made.

They are made to be perfect.

So when he met a certain Lee Jaein, he wondered where such character has been all his life. She was not an idol – far from it. She was almost a nun, except that might not really have been her calling. She was beautiful, kind, compassionate, smart, and all those things in between, yet she was not on the spotlight.

She was born with grace, yet she winces every time he interjects for her to be a star.

Not that it actually mattered that Himchan was from an affluent family, or that his family has supported his dreams and never once opposed his desire to become a celebrity. Or that he has never experienced tremendous sadness (not counting of course when he got bruised and frustrated when learning to ride the bike that one time, which he ultimately refused to do until he was made to do so on an MV shoot). The hardship during his trainee days only made his background a bit flashier and made his biography extra appealing to the public’s eye.

But Jaein’s was different. Her seemingly bright personality would have fooled Himchan into believing that she had flowers and rainbows in her life. But Himchan could never really relate these things to her story. She showed him, unconsciously, all the negative things that this life had to offer. Don’t get him started on counting what she has been through; he couldn’t even get halfway without heaving and sighing deeply.

“My life,” Jaein told him in that quaint chapel, “Is pretty much the same with some of these children. Maybe that’s why I can understand them, and they probably see my sincerity.”

Himchan and his band mates, through Yongguk’s directive, went out to see and spend time with children in the orphanage. It was a charity project that they promised each other to do when they win in a music show, but they never really wanted to do it in the prying eyes of the media. Hence, they were able to explore the orphanage and meet the children freely, without anyone instructing them what to do, or where to look, nobody checks up their time, announces the next location and what not – which is exactly what should be done in these activities.

Or at least what Himchan thinks so.

Anyway, it was nap time for the kids. Yongguk, Daehyun and Junhong went to a nearby grocery to buy things to cook for dinner. Himchan was in charge of dinner – with Youngjae and Jongup – so he was free to roam around until the others come back. The latter two decided to sleep in with the children.

Anyhow, Himchan saw the lovely chapel a few meters away from the children’s playground. He saw Lee Jaein tending to a garden right beside and curiosity led him to chat with her. He saw her that morning, when they arrived. She was playing with the children then, with such bright persona – even singing and playing the piano for the kids. She mainly talked to Yongguk; Himchan merely said Hi and Thank you to her. It was only when he saw her leaving after lunch has finished that Himchan realized his eyes had been following her every move ever since morning. How else would he know that she doesn’t frown much, or how her hair would fall just beneath her shoulders, or how she would blow her bangs away from her eyes? Or this part when he actually followed her, and not chance upon her?

Seriously, Himchan was attracted. And he doesn’t even know why. Heck he doesn’t even know her.

She was this pretty and delicate lady, in a would-be nun white dress, and black belt. It was the first time Himchan actually described what somebody’s wearing. It was weird.

“Hi,” the sub vocalist started, awkward at that.

The would-be nun looked up at him, surprised. She stood up, dusting her hand on a towel that magically appeared behind her. “Hello.”

Himchan felt comfortable around her. And he felt that she felt the same way. Why else would she tell him her past? Or maybe that was how she was really.

“I grew up in and out of foster care,” Jaein said when they were leaving the chapel. “But I didn’t think I was a right fit with any of those homes so I always ended up doing something bad so they would return me.”

It wasn’t true of course.

Himchan later found out that the first family that took Jaein in went bankrupt after a failed business deal. The father of the family became a drunkard and abused his wife and Jaein. She was taken away by the orphanage after three months of abuse – a corpse almost.

The second family that Jaein was sent to, she was made to work at a night club first as a dishwasher. After 6 months, at 15, she was made by her foster mother to work as a bar tender. Later on, she got int