The fans were wild tonight. Seeing all 12 of us in the same stage. 10 on the other side, and the formers on the other.

I was standing here on the stage together with my hyung-deul. The program has ended and everyone was greeting each other. I want to look around. I want to greet other stars on the other side. I can understand mandarin now, so I’m able to communicate with them. But... I’m afraid to see them eye to eye.

I saw my hyung-deul greeting the stars near us, so I copied them. I just paid my respect to the stars near us. But as I looked up from bowing to someone, my eyes trailed on their direction. I saw them looking at us. At me. They were greeting others near them. But their eyes came back to focus in our direction. I don’t know what to do. Should I just turned around and ignore them? Should I wave my hand and walk to them? I saw my hyung-deul preparing to leave the stage. I turned back to them and just bowed my head, and then I turned around to follow my hyung-deul.

I think Chanyeol-hyung saw my distress earlier. He came up to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. Tao came up and held my left hand. He’s close enough to not notice his right hand holding my left.

I never look back. It’s enough that they got some recognition from me. I know I’m not someone of importance but, I really think that just recognition is enough for them. After all, they left us without reasons and with reasons of taking a rest. But from what I’ve seen in different sites, they’re busy with photo shoots, guestings, and movies.

I know there were going to be some bad feedbacks towards EXO for not greeting the former members on this event. But what can we do? We were on the other side and we need to leave soon. Ah~ I wished I never looked at to their direction. The two of them... looking like expecting something. Some greetings... I think they got shocked seeing me so formal towards them. Surely they didn’t expect for me to bow at them as if I do not know them personally.

But I do... I do that I do not know them personally. I do not know what to believe. The two of them fighting against SM... It’s as if they were fighting EXO. I do not know what the truth is anymore.

I’m afraid of the future. I can’t guarantee that my remaining hyung-deul will stay. That’s why I don’t want them to promise. I just want us to be content of what we have for today. And treasure all of memories of yesterdays. But I don’t want to think of tomorrows. I don’t know what will happen. I don’t know if they are going to change their minds. I don’t know if they will leave too.

I love them so much. I don’t want them to leave. But I don't want to be selfish.If that time comes, when they decided that they don’t want to continue anymore, I’ll let them go. Be