Taeyeon inches forward to catch a glimpse of the city below, hands gripping the edge of the ledge, ankles hammering against one another repeatedly, as they dangle in the air. Fear surges to her chest and she feels her heartbeat quicken to spread the terror to the rest of her body. She holds her breath and counts to ten.

“You’re not jumping, are you?”

The voice startles her and she shudders as she imagines herself falling.

When she opens her eyes, she feels strangely present- she’s aware of the texture of uneven concrete against her palms and tips of her fingers, the light breeze that causes her hair to tickle her neck and gently caress her forehead, the lack of ground beneath her feet, and the deafening silence that cloaks the world is at this hour.

“No.” she answers truthfully, in the most unconvincing manner.

“That would have made you more interesting.” Tiffany responds airily as she leans against the ledge, eyes searching like Taeyeon’s – probably struggling to find the appeal in a city that seems so indifferent.

Taeyeon’s words get stuck in and it takes her awhile to realise that she’s waiting for something – so she stares at Tiffany as if the other girl has all the answers.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Tiffany sighs as she rests her head against her palm, looking disinterested. She glances sideways towards Taeyeon without shifting her head.

“I’m not going to push you off.” she says and yawns, out of boredom rather than fatigue. “That would make me more interesting.”  

“You are interesting.” Taeyeon says, not feeling like herself as the words roll off her tongue effortlessly.

“Thanks.” Tiffany smiles and Taeyeon knows it’s sincere because it looks sad.

“What brings you up here?” Taeyeon asks, finding it ironic that she left her room to be alone, only to be invaded by her roommate’s presence once more.

“Disappointment.” Tiffany utters the word quietly as though it was foul.

“Already?” Taeyeon chuckles - because she feels the same. It had just been three months, yet it had aged the both of them disproportionately. 

“I’m not sure if all of this is worth it.” Tiffany’s voice sounds like it is about to be crushed under the weight of everything and for a moment, Taeyeon contemplates moving closer towards the other girl. But she takes a peek at the tiny cars below and rows of trees that look like petite bushes and freezes at her spot.

“You have to believe it will be. Ten years from now, you are going to feel stupid for ever having doubts.” Taeyeon tries reassuring Tiffany, but questions the effectiveness of her words as it had done nothing to ease her own doubts.

“You’re an optimist?” Tiffany asks, sounding surprised.  

“You’re not?”

“Not at 3am.” Tiffany confesses.  

“Tiffany,” Taeyeon calls out, and realises that she rarely addresses her roommate. The name still feels foreign on her lips.

“Taeyeon,” Tiffany says her name with equal gravity and smiles again, which confuses Taeyeon slightly. The air of hostility between them was dissipating too quickly – the change in atmosphere was almost unnerving.

“What are you afraid of?” Taeyeon decides to ask as her hands start to sweat.

Tiffany gazes towards the dark, vacant sky and releases a deep breath.

“Do I seem afraid?” she asks.

“You seem fearless.” Taeyeon replies with envy.

Tiffany scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“We could be strangers.” Tiffany whispers and sighs.  

Taeyeon watches the other girl and silently agrees. Despite spending most days with each other, Taeyeon knew little about her roommate.  It wasn’t that she wasn’t paying attention - but Tiffany wore too many masks, held too many contradictions, that it was futile to draw a conclusion.

“I fear heights.” Taeyeon admits and presses her palms harder against the concrete.

Tiffany turns towards Taeyeon – for the first time tonight – and frowns.

Explain, Tiffany’s eyes seem to say.  

“On some days, I feel so tired that I don’t even feel real. So I come up here and it makes me scared to death - but at least I know that my emotions work when it matters. I don’t want to be one of those clichéd hard workers who reach the finish line and not feel like they’ve won.”

Tiffany takes a few steps towards Taeyeon, slow and tentative, as though she was arriving with a decision with each one. Soon, she’s next to Taeyeon and their arms are linked.

The fear ebbs away and Taeyeon thinks that Tiffany is ruining this for her in the best way.

“We shouldn’t be strangers.” Tiffany says and rests her head against Taeyeon’s arm, hesitant at first but gradually eases into it.

“It doesn’t feel like we are.” Taeyeon remarks.

“It doesn’t now.” Tiffany agrees.

They sit in silence for a couple of minutes, sharing the same space and drowning in similar thoughts – like they always have, although this time - it feels different.  

“I’m claiming you.” Tiffany says suddenly, cutting into the dead stillness with her cheerful tone, as she releases Taeyeon’s arm and climbs onto the ledge.

If Taeyeon was scared before, she learnt a whole new definition of the word while watching Tiffany stand on the ledge.

“Please don’t fall.” Taeyeon begs and reaches out to hold Tiffany’s hand, fully aware that Tiffany is going to drag her down if she falls.

Tiffany looks around, gasps, and then squeezes her eyes shut. After a few excruciating seconds, she slowly lowers herself and sits cross-legged next to Taeyeon.

“I’m claiming you.” she repeats, and scoots closer towards Taeyeon.

“What does that even mean?” Taeyeon chuckles and locks eyes with Tiffany, liking the fact that their eyes are on the same level.

“I’m claiming you as my best friend.” Tiffany clarifies.

“I don’t think it works that way.” Taeyeon laughs and shakes her head, feeling like a grown up attempting to explain an abstract idea to a child – the concept of friendship.

“Do you like me?”

“I do, but…”

“Life doesn’t have to be so hard, Tae.” Tiffany asserts – and it is almost convincing.

Taeyeon stares at Tiffany, agape, wondering why she’s overthinking this.

“You didn’t even like me 10 minutes ago!” Taeyeon exclaims.

“Wow. You really don’t know me.” Tiffany says, offended.

“Is that a deal breaker?” Taeyeon jokes, still doubting that Tiffany will see the absurdity of her request.

“No.” Tiffany shrugs and unfolds her legs, then decides to swing them back and forth, unaffected by the danger of their position.

“I probably like you more than I like me – and that makes me hate you a little bit sometimes.” Tiffany confesses then bites her lip, eyes slowly shifting upwards to catch Taeyeon’s gaze.

“Sorry.” she later adds. “I’m petty like that. Is that a deal breaker?”

“No.” Taeyeon replies, amused.

“Good, because I lied too.” Tiffany mentions hastily then pouts, tilting her head to a side, looking deep in thought. 

“About what?” Taeyeon asks, nonchalant, thinking that a lie of an almost stranger lacks just as much effect as the truth.

“I followed you up here.” Tiffany averts her gaze, opting to look at the night sky at the furthest corner.

“Why?” Taeyeon asks, unsure of how to feel.

“Just to make sure you’re okay.” Tiffany says guiltily, as if caring was a crime.

 “You really are as nice as you seem.” Taeyeon says and nods, letting the emptiness gradually fill with something else entirely.

“One of my stronger suits. Are you sold?” Tiffany asks lightly, confident that she had won.

Taeyeon offers her hand and Tiffany shakes it eagerly, making their friendship official. She thinks it’s a lovely paradox - sitting on the ledge with Tiffany, at the edge of loneliness, has anchored her down to the world more than ever.

Taeyeon turns herself away from the city and hops off the ledge, gesturing Tiffany to follow, feeling a little less scared.