ISEUL’S POV

The greatest poet of our generation Ms. Taylor Swift one said: loving him is like trying to change your mind once you’re already flying through the free fall.

Well, as someone who has both loved a him and is currently flying through a free fall, I think I have the right to a few comments.

First, what happens when you’re falling?

To be honest, I don’t know.

I think my mouth is open, but I don’t know if I’ve been screaming. My heart feels like it has stopped. I’m rushing through a vacuum passage, but at the same time, I hear something. There’s a shrill, high-pitched sound in my ear — I don’t know if that’s just the air, or the traffic underneath me, or my own scream.  

Or maybe – through some mysterious, placental bond, I’m hearing how my mother will react if she hears about what I’m doing with my life.

Speaking of which — yes, I did see my life flash before my eyes. The moment I tipped over the edge and caught a ride from gravity, I saw it all in front of me.

It’s not just a writing cliché. When you know you’ve reached the end of something, it’s only natural human instinct to want to go back to the beginning.

The memories play out against the rosy evening sky like an old film shot onto a translucent screen. Slowly, I feel my eyes closing, and the montage explodes behind my eyelids.

Elementary school. Middle school. High school. University entrance exams. University. House parties. Camping in the Math Lab. Late night ramen and K-drama episodes to try to convince myself that all this would be worth it. Unrequited crushes. Suzy. Mark. Jongguk. Jongin.

Jongin, Jongin, Jongin.

Now, all I see is him.

Maybe I’m losing time. Maybe my guardian angel is being generous and they’re granting me a few more seconds with the parts of my life that I’ll miss the most.

It’s Jongin.

Flashes of him race through a dark galaxy, each scene overtaking another and burning brighter than the previous one. I see it all from the very beginning.

That fateful afternoon at the ice cream store. God I haven’t been there for a while.

That time we went bowling with the Aces, during—what was it, the second week of my babysitting gig? It that I’ll die at it.

And then that time we went as a family for Jongguk’s school trip and lied to everyone. I can’t believe everyone just fell for it. Do I look old or something? I can’t believe how long ago that’s been. I can’t believe how different Jongin and I were back then, and…

I can’t believe I’ll never have my own family.

The pain of that realization is grueling, but my memories don’t stop to pity. I remember jumping in the ocean to save Guk, despite how I can’t swim. Wait, so this isn’t the first time that I… has it always been my destiny to save Jongin and his family?

The flashes are going at warp speed now. Bringing Jongguk to my school. Trying to learn English and teaching Jongguk Chinese. Going to Hong Kong and thinking how badly I want to see the world with Jongin when I first laid in bed with him that night.

No, a voice in my head fights in a weak voice, there are still so many things.

There are still too many things left undone.

I haven’t even learned how to swim. I haven’t gotten anywhere near fluent in English. I haven’t traveled to all those other countries. I actually REALLY want that Paris dinner I told Jongin not to surprise me with during our make-up date. I’ll take Singapore too, I don’t care. I haven’t seen Lisa again! She told me she’d take me skiing one day and I—I’ve never had the chance to go skiing! I—

I don’t want to die.

Not here, not like this, not tonight.

I open my eyes.

I don’t want to die.

It’s funny how powerful you become when your entire soul is wholeheartedly set on something. I don’t know what I’m doing but somehow, something in my brain—a primal survival instinct that only jumps out in times of greatest need maybe—makes me stretch out my hand.

I don’t want to die. It hasn’t even been a full month at Shinhan either!

There’s something along the side of the building. It’s long and black and I can barely reach it with my fingertips. What is this? Is it my guardian angel being generous again?

I don’t want to die. I never had dinner with Jae! Or with our mom! Heck, I haven’t even treated my mom with my new paycheck yet!

I try to catch it, cling to it, but I miss. I try again—catch, grip, miss. , this is so difficult. Air rushes past my ears, sounding like an airplane engine, and with a fighting scream, I try to grasp at the wire again. How long is this thing?

I don’t want to die. I want to live a future with Jongin.

I’m screaming now, I’m sure of it. I try to grab the seemingly infinite black wire again, and this time, I make it! I made it! I’m holding on to it!

But , —I’m not stopping. The cord is between my hands, but my palms are extremely sweaty. Oh God, I need to hold on tighter to it…

The rough cord burns into my palm, and I scream in anguish as the friction continues to tear into my skin. I feel like someone is sawing the inside of my hand. I can’t stop yelling from the pain, the fear, and my one dying wish to not die at all tonight.

It’s now or never.

Suddenly—

“Oh my God , —!”

My body slams into a large metal structure that breaks my plummet. For a second, I’m dead sure that the force killed me. I’m too surprised to scream and I don’t know what’s happening but then I hit my head—and then I feel like I’ve gone blind and paralyzed.

I lose my hold on that lifesaving black cord for a moment, but survival instincts make me grasp on whatever that hard metal thing I hit was before I miss it completely. A moment of clarity allows me to assess my current state.

Oh my ing God.

It’s one of those window cleaning equipment for high-rise buildings.

I’m dangling off the base of the lift with both hands, and I don’t ing know what to do next.

I can’t climb onto the actual platform. I’m not made for that kind of acrobat. And the cord isn’t in my hand anymore, so if I try to reach for it, I’ll only be holding on to this thing with one arm.

And my arms, which are getting tired already, are definitely not up for that .

“HELP!!” I scream, forgetting completely that Youngmin is still up there and can also hear me. If he finds out I’m not dead, he might end up killing Suzy, which means—

Suddenly, there’s a loud rumble from above.

Before I can figure out its source, the window cleaning equipment that I’m holding on to for dear life shakes.  

It all happens so fast—the moving, and then my mind going ‘, Youngmin heard me’, and then my fingers slipping.

“, —“

White knuckles and sweaty palms is not the combination you want to be seeing when you’re hanging off a sky-high building. I’m not going to make it. Suddenly, a strong gust of wind blows. Hair flies into my eyes and when I shake my head my grip slips again—

“Aaah—”

 But then suddenly, there’s a loud whoosh. I hear my high-pitched shriek when my grip gives away but right at that moment—

“GOT YOU!”

Suddenly, there’s an arm around my waist. I’m screaming because I thought I was going to fall again, and now I’m screaming because I suddenly find myself being catapulted back into the air.

Now I feel myself ascending. Fast.

“Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God,” I chant repeatedly, eyes squeezed shut as my saviour continues gaining altitude. What the hell is happening?

“God? No, sorry, it’s just me Xiumin!” I hear the words, but I don’t understand him. Who even is Xiumin? Am I supposed to know him? Where is he taking me? How do we know this isn’t an alien abduction?? Out of curiosity, I open my eyes—

And let out an ear-piercing shriek. “Holy !” I just flew right past the HOC building! “Wait, wait—where are we—”

“Don’t worry, I’m going to get you in the helicopter and take you to the hospital, okay?”

Seriously, am I supposed to know this guy? “But Kai—Suzy—" I try to point at the roof, but for a second I wonder if that’s even the HOC because I see so many people on it.

“The rest of the Aces are with him! You need to get help first before you start worrying about him!”

I’m not sure what exactly it was about that exact moment, but right there, between the clouds and in the dimming pink sky, in the arms of someone I recall being one of the Shanghai Chapter Aces that I met in Hong Kong, something in me breaks.

I start to cry.

I sob over everything that I’ve been through today, from the moment that flower vase landed in my hands, to the fear I felt while building those two programs, to the last thought I had in my head before I tipped over the roof’s edge.

Death seemed so fine until I actually had one foot in it. When you’re looking at Death in the eye, suddenly, there is nothing you’ll want more than to live.

My whole body is in excruciating pain and I cry over that too—and the tears won’t stop flowing even until Xiumin and I reach the helicopter I presume he jumped out of.

I don’t know how to stop crying.

Xiumin doesn’t let me go until we’re both safely inside the chopper. I’m sprawled on the floor, shaking, but a safe distance away from the open door. I try to move, but I can’t—pain has taken over my entire back.

“Ah!” I shout, crumpling in pain. My vision is blurry from the tears and my entire back feels like it’s being crushed by a bulldozer. Despite the excruciating pain, I try to lie down. My back… oh my God, it’s—did I break it?

“Yes, she’s fine, but she hit herself pretty hard and her head’s bleeding,” Xiumin seems to be saying. “Do you want to… okay Chen, can you rush us to the nearest hospital?”

“I’ll have to, if not Kai is going to kill me, right?” Chen, another guy I also remember meeting in Hong Kong, briefly turns around with a smile. “Hang tight, Iseul. You’re safe now, and you’re going to be fine.”

The spaces between the fingers of Kai’s outstretched hand are empty as he watches the love of his life disappear before his eyes.

Her fall seems slow, but the compounding of grief, terror, and raging fury in him is swift. It drags his heart down to the abyss along with Iseul. Then there’s the denial. The desperate and ridiculous no she didn’t, no, no, no that did not just happen.

And then there’s that urge to kill—so monstrous and hateful it could put the devil to shame.

Kai feels possessed as he screams and lunges forward, his finger pulling the trigger relentlessly as he drives bullet after bullet into Youngmin’s chest in the man’s moment of stillness.

Iseul’s fall took Youngmin by surprise too, and for a second, he was watching her fall off the ledge and not focusing on Suzy. Suzy sensed that his guard was down in those few seconds, so she takes the opportunity to free herself and duck.

But even as red blossoms all over Youngmin’s shirt and his proud stance is no more, Kai doesn’t feel satisfied. In fact, he feels nothing at all. No amount of pain that he can inflict on this man will ever amount to what Youngmin has inflicted on him.

Kai grabs Youngmin just before he topples over because he wants to be the one to end this man’s life. Not the concrete, not gravity. Him.

As he bleeds to death, Youngmin smiles that malicious grin of his once last time. “Go ahead. Finish me off. You wish that would bring Seo Iseul back, don’t you?”

Kai hears himself roaring as he punches Youngmin square on his face. That’s for saying her name.

Suddenly, the deafening sound of a rotor fills the sky above. Finally some backup. Men drop down from the sky and land all around him, helping Suzy and fighting off Youngmin’s goons who have started to encroach on the roof.

But the sight does nothing to comfort Kai.

Not even when one of the Shanghai Chapter Aces, Xiumin, plunges down the side of the building, a thick black cord attached to his back.

But then suddenly, he hears a loud crash and a distressed scream for help. Kai’s eyes widen and he looks up.

Somehow, by some miracle, Seo Iseul is still living and breathing even if she’s hanging off the side of the building. Xiumin is on his way already. There’s still hope yet.

It feels like his soul’s been reignited. And though he wasn’t the one falling off the building, Kai feels like he’s been given a second chance at life.

He turns back to Youngmin. “Maybe not. But Xiumin will.” Holding tightly to his father’s collar, Kai looks him in the eyes before the lights fade out of them forever.

“I’m going to destroy everyone you worked with too.”

Maybe the neurons in Youngmin’s brain are too beaten up and damaged at this point, but at those words, the old man grins. Rage bubbles up inside of Kai and he throws another punch—knocking the last breath out of Kim Youngmin at last.

Kai stares at the man emptily for a second, stirred with a flurry of emotions.

He’s finally dead.

It’s really over this time.

What does he need to do next?

Then something whooshes past him and into the evening sky. It’s getting dark and more difficult to see, but Kai looks up just in time to make out what looks like two silhouettes.

His heart lurches and his whole body sags in relief. Kai runs to the helipad and waves at the helicopter, his phone already in hand and connected to Xiumin.

“Did you get her? Is she alive?” Kai asks in short gasps, his heart pounding.

 The answer couldn’t come fast enough. “Yes, she’s fine, but she hit herself pretty hard and her head’s bleeding,” Xiumin says. “Do you want to—”

“No, fly her to the nearest hospital! Call for the helipad and put her in whatever’s their highest level of service—I don’t care.” Kai is already jogging back to the emergency stairs exit. He briefly glances at Suzy, who seems to have reunited with Suho, and she gives him a quick nod.

Racing down the stairs, Kai tells Xiumin, “I’m on my way there.”

ISEUL’S POV

The helicopter lands, at a hospital, presumably, and I find myself being helped out by Xiumin and Chen. I’m conscious, but I can’t register anything properly. I only feel myself being laid down on a stretcher and wheeled off somewhere.

At this point, my vision is spotty. My head is pounding and the movement of everyone around me feels like a rampage. The lights in the ceiling seem to swing violently, and every time someone yells something, it sounds like a vulture’s screech.

“Mental status stupor… head trauma… possible thoracic compression…”

“Do an X-ray on her and get both neurosurgery and orthopedics. Are there any available ORs right now?"

Oh , OR? Surgery? I want to protest but I just… I can’t muster the energy. Did something happen to me when I slammed into that window cleaning equipment?

I replay my fall, wondering if there’s a chance that I busted my skull or snapped my spine in half. I try to think, but I just feel so… so… tired. I think there’s a needle poking into my arm.

I see Chen peering down at me. His lips are moving, but I don’t catch anything. Where is Jongin? I try to make out the faces of everyone around my stretcher, but before I know it, my body gives up and everything goes black.

Kai arrives at the hospital’s waiting area mere minutes after the nurses admit Iseul into the ER. “Where is she?” he asks Xiumin, breathless from all the running. “Is she conscious? Is she fine?”

Xiumin gives a slight shake of his head. “She was conscious during the ride here but she passed out when she was on the stretcher. They took her to the operating room because they think she could have some type of spinal fracture. She slammed into a window cleaning lift, Kai.”

Blood drains from Kai’s face. “Isn’t that—isn’t that bad? Spinal? Doesn’t that mean she could be…”

“In worst cases, paralyzed,” Chen answers, looking grim. “The doctor warned us of that, however, they don’t know if that’d be the case yet. If she’s lucky, she’ll recover completely in 2-3 months.”

“2-3 months?” Kai echoes. Just then, a nurse passes by. Kai quickly stops her, asking a barrage of questions about Iseul and her condition. The possibility of her being paralyzed terrifies him to death. Kai knows that if that were to happen to her, then he really did ruin her life.

The nurse basically repeats what Chen said without providing any other helpful information. “We don’t have an update yet, but both our best neurosurgeon and orthopedist are looking at her, Sir. She should be out of the operating room in about 4 hours and the surgeons will come out to brief you a little before that.”

Neurosurgeon? Kai nods blankly, remembering Xiumin’s words about her bleeding head. He slumps lifelessly on one of the empty chairs.

Hands tightly clasping around one another, Kai stares at the floor, repeating a single phrase without pause. Please let her be okay. Please let her be okay.

He isn’t religious, but that evening, he comes the closest he’s ever been to a prayer. He doubts he’ll be heard anywhere—by any religious corner hidden in the sky—but he hopes that some higher power out there does take pity on Iseul. She deserves all the mercy and good graces.

His heart feels numb. Gradually, the rest of the Aces arrive, the same worried look mirrored in their eyes. Xiumin and Chen explain the situation, while Kai stares at the clock on the wall.

“Where were you guys?” Kai finally says, somewhere around the third hour of Iseul’s surgery. “If you came sooner, you could’ve shot him down from the sky.”

“We were held back at the runway. Youngmin had anticipated us and hijacked our pilot. Chen flew the chopper today,” Lay explains.

“We came as soon as we could, Kai,” Xiumin says. “We wouldn’t want this to happen to anyone either.”

Kai understands that and he knows their timing makes sense, especially considering the distance between Shanghai and Seoul. But during times like these, making sense is not enough. What he wants is a miracle made.

If only he replied to Iseul fast enough today. If only he saw all this coming and told her to stay home. If only he didn’t get mad at her. If only he knew what she was going to do when she demanded him to say ‘I love you’. If only he had killed Youngmin that night he got the Joker’s ring back. If only he could turn back time.

“She’ll be fine, Kai,” Xiumin reassures. “She was conscious for the most part, I’m sure she just passed out from exhaustion—”

“How do you know that? You said she fractured her spine,” Kai points out, “and she hit her head. They still don’t know if she’ll be paralyzed, or if she’ll…”

Kai looks away, the words too heavy for his tongue to bear. Instead, he says, “I’d give anything to put myself in that operating room instead.”

No one knows what to say. At some point, Suho sits beside him and places an arm around Kai’s back. “The only thing you can do now is to promise to stay by her side no matter what happens when she comes out of the OR, Kai. And if you do, then you’ll have done everything you can.”

Kai shakes his head. “I’m prepared to stay for the worst possible outcome of her spinal injury, but she hit her head as well. If something happened to her brain…”

Baekhyun catches on early. “No. No, you wouldn’t—”

“I would, Baek.” Kai's mind is made. “If something happens to her brain and she forgets who I am, I’m going to keep it that way.”

That’s the only way he can make it up to her. By giving Iseul her whole life back.

Jae arrives later that night. She waits with the rest of them and immediately leaps to her feet when the neurosurgeon finally emerges and makes her way to greet their group. The short, bespectacled woman with a bob cut pulls off her mask and bows.

“Hello, I’m Chae Songhwa, Orthopedic Professor. I apologize my colleague in Neurosurgery isn’t here with me, but he has another surgery booked. I’ll first tell you how the surgery went, and if you have any further questions, we can get you in touch with him later,” she pauses briefly. “The surgery went well. Seo Iseul sustained a linear skull fracture from her fall, but thankfully, that’s the most common type of skull fracture, so no surgical interventions were needed there. My residents are just stitching her up. However, the issue is her spine.”

Kai nearly stops breathing.

“The trauma to her spine was very severe, and we believe this is because the first point of contact that broke her fall was her back. The impact caused a burst fracture in which her vertebra was crushed completely and bony fragments were spread all throughout her spinal cord. In the most severe cases, this can cause paralysis.”

Jae gasps, while Kai remains completely silent. “What does that—so is she okay? Will she be able to move?”

“Miraculously, Iseul’s bone fragments did not damage her spinal cord. We were able to clear all the fragments up. We had to place a few screws and hooks to hold the spine in place during regeneration, and she’ll need to wear a back brace for up to twelve weeks. She’ll also need to undergo mobility exercises with a physical therapist because in the first few days, even walking will be hard.” Chae Songhwa pushes her glasses up. “It will be painful for her, and there will be a pain medication routine she’ll need to adhere to. But all in all, yes, she is okay and should be able to make full recovery. We’re extremely lucky that this is the extent of her injuries.”

Jae buckles over with a cry of sheer relief. A choking feeling fills Kai’s chest, and he finds himself needing to sit down again.

She’s okay. She’s going to be okay. Seo Iseul really survived what nearly was a 45-story drop.

Kai finds himself making all kinds of vows about how he’ll take care of her when she wakes up.

At the touch of midnight, they finally transport Iseul to a patient room in the hospital’s VIP ward. Kai’s heart squeezes at the sight of her lying unconscious in a hospital gown, a large patch of bandage on the corner of her head and both her hands wrapped in the same white cotton. Seeing her again still feels so surreal. He can’t take his eyes off her for a single second–terrified that if he does, she’ll slip between his fingers again.

After Iseul is safely tucked into her hospital bed, everyone stays for about half an hour. Eventually, most of the Aces get up and start dusting their pants.

“Come on, ladies,” Baekhyun drawls, stretching. “Iseul’s fine now, she’s got Kai. We’ve got vengeance to wreck.”

“At this hour?” Jae asks.

“Vengeance doesn’t have a sleep schedule, Jae. You’re welcome to come if you like. That’s your sister they ed up.”

“I…” Jae looks at Iseul, lying on the bed, and Kai, seated resolutely next to it. Her worries soothe themselves a little when she sees the look on his face—Iseul won’t be left alone for the next 3 months, no matter how hard she tries.

“Kai, you’re staying here, right?”

“I’m staying wherever she is,” Kai replies without missing a beat. Jae can’t help but smile.

“Call me in the morning if she’s up already. I’ll take care of her job.” With those words and one last look at Iseul, Jae follows the rest of the men out the door.

ISEUL’S POV

The emptiness in my head gives way, and suddenly, I find myself awake.

Blinking groggily, I first take in the plain, cream-colored ceiling, then what looks like a 41-inch TV hanging off a light brown panel of wood across me. I stare at the crisp white sheets that cover me, and the soft yellow poking out of it.

Right. I’m in a hospital.

I’m alive. Seeing all this, thinking all this means I’m alive, right? Gingerly, lift my hands, trying to examine my poor fingers. They’re all bandaged. Crap. How am I supposed to work?! I shift slightly on the bed, but then a bolt of pain stabs through my entire back. I let out a soft yelp.

“Iseul?” A voice to my right immediately says. I freeze, not realizing that there’s someone in the room with me yet. Slowly, I turn my head to face my right.

“Jongin!” I exclaim, instantly feeling myself tear up. There, on the right side of my bed, looking like he’s been sleeping on a chair, sits Jongin.

“Oh my God,” he blinks, shaking himself awake. “Oh my God, baby, you’re back. You’re awake. You’re alright… Oh, I really thought I’d lost you.”

He stands and hugs me gently while I’m still lying on the bed, so I try to sit up.

“Wait wait, don’t move!” he instantly warns, pulling away. “Baby, you have to stay lying down.”

For a while, he presses one of the buttons on the control panel of my bed. Gradually, my whole bed tilts to a slight incline. My stomach twists. Oh no. Something must’ve happened to my spine.

Jongin is staring at me up and down with round, frantic eyes. “I can’t believe this—you’re really awake. Does it hurt anywhere, babe? Do you want me to get the nurse?”

“No, not yet.” I shake my head. “Do you know what happened to me?”

“You fractured your spine, Iseul,” Jongin says seriously. “They said your vertebra got crushed completely, and they had to stick rods and pins in you to keep your spine in place for now—”

I interrupt him with a loud gasp. “So am I—will I be able to sit or stand again?”

“Yes, but you’ll need to wear a brace for up to 12 weeks. We’re lucky, though… for a fall like that, this could’ve ended up in paralysis.”

My jaw drops open and Jongin immediately starts apologizing. “—I’m sorry—should we call the nurse? She should be able to deliver all this news better—”

But I shake my head slightly, still too stunned to react. “No, no… I need a moment.”

I replay the incomplete facts in my head, bracing myself to hear worse. At least it’s not paralysis, right? I can feel my toes; I can feel my hands even though they’re bandaged right now. At least this sounds like it can heal.

“Baby,” Jongin calls, rubbing my shoulder softly even though I think he doesn’t know what else to say.

But I’m not done wrestling with my predicament. At least I’m not dead, right?

“Let’s call the nurses first,” I finally decide. For now, I’ll tuck my negativity away. At least until I hear the official diagnosis.  

The nurse comes with the on-call resident of Orthopedics that night and proceeds to brief me about my situation even though it’s like 6 in the morning. To his credit, he did say that he’ll spare me the details right now and go over that once the professor and physical therapist comes in. But to summarize: Head ok. Spine bad.

More accurately—spine crushed and currently being supported by pins and rods. I can get discharged in about 5 days, after I practice walking with the hospital’s physical therapist, but I’m going to be put in a back brace of some sort for up to twelve weeks. I don’t know what that’s going to feel like yet, but I do know that it’s going to be hell.

They bow and leave the room. And for some reason, even though they’ve done nothing wrong, my mood has soured considerably.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m happy I’m alive and not paralyzed. I’m really, really grateful for that, and as soon as I can move around again, I swear I’ll go to church at least once. But does this mean I now can’t do anything for the next 12 weeks?

I can’t help but think about my job. I’ve only been there for about a month, and now I’m going to have to take an extended sick leave? I am so, so fired. I know I say I hate it and I say I wanna die every two mornings but I would like to have the option, you know?

And if Jongin and Guk go anywhere—or if my friends at work go out for dinners again—how long do I have to sit out of these things? 3 weeks? A month?

No, forget about all that. How hard is peeing, pooping, and even sleeping going to be? Heck, I have to learn to walk all over again!

“Seul, what’s wrong?” Jongin asks, peering into view. I’m lying quietly on my bed with my eyes cast to the ceiling.

“Nothing,” I quickly answer, trying not to sound too grumpy. I close my eyes, hoping that it’ll indicate that I want to get some sleep.

Even though I don’t. I just want to sulk in peace.

“Are you sleepy?”

“Hmm,” I hum vaguely, my eyes still closed.

He’s silent for a moment. “Are you mad?”

“What? Why?” I immediately open one eye. I swear to God, boys and their stupid little hobby of asking ‘are you mad’… I’m usually not until you ask!!  

“I know you better than this by now, Seul. You’re probably mad about how life is going to for the next twelve weeks, aren’t you?” Jongin gives me a knowing look. “Are you mad at me for indirectly causing all this?”

“No,” I answer curtly, even though at this point, I don’t even know what I’m mad about.

“You can get mad, you know,” Jongin says, taking my hand. “At me and at all this. You can rant.”

I frown, but my lips twitch. The words are right there, at the tip of my tongue.

“Baby,” Jongin calls, pulling his chair as close as possible to my bed. He makes my bed sit up a little more even though I shoot him a glare. “Come on. Please get angry at me.”

My frown deepens. “I’m not mad, I’m just…” I let out a frustrated sigh. “Jongin, you’re happy I survived, right?”

Jongin looks like he’s just been slapped. “Seul, what are you talking about? Of course I am! Why would you even ask that?”

“Even though it’ll take a long time for me to heal?”

Jongin furrows his brows and clasps my bandaged hands. “Why do you think that would matter to me?”

“I’m going to have to learn how to walk again. I have to wear a back brace. I probably won’t be able to do anything by myself for the next couple of weeks. I can’t even go to work! I’m going to be like—like a vegetable at home!”

“So?”

“Dealing with your girlfriend is going to be like dealing with a newborn baby, Jongin! Except for the fact that no one is going to want to babysit a full-grown adult like me!”

“Wrong! I do!” Jongin answers like it’s obvious with a small grin. “What, were you pissed because you thought you were going to have to handle all this yourself?”

“You have work! You probably have a lot of cleaning up to do after everything that happened!”

“I do, but I’m not doing it. I’m going to stick beside you for the next couple of weeks.”

“You’re going to hate it!” I cry, feeling even more annoyed at both myself and the situation for reasons I can’t even articulate. “I’m going to need so much help and I’m going to get so frustrated with how I can’t do anything myself!”

“So?”

“I’m going to get pissed a lot. Like, constantly mad at things.”

“You’re cute when you’re mad.”

“I’m probably going to turn so negative you’re going to want to disown me by the end of the twelve weeks.”

“Wanna bet on that?”

I ignore him. “I can’t go anywhere at all. I’m going to get fat.”

“What?” Jongin laughs, sounding genuinely baffled. Why is he so surprised? “And what’s wrong with that?”

“Oh come on.” I shoot him a look.

“Iseul, you saved my life and my son’s. Why do you think I’d care about you getting fat?”

Fair enough. So I say the last thing that’s on my mind.

“We probably can’t have for twelve weeks,” I pause and watch as Jongin’s eyebrows shoot up. “You’re going to hate it—hey, why are you laughing?!”

Jongin laughs brightly like he hasn’t heard a word I just said. “I see how it is. You’re probably mad about this, aren’t you? ert!”

“No!” I scowl. “I’m just saying, you won’t be able to have with me for twelve weeks—aren’t you going to hate that?”

I swear to God if he says no, I’m going to—

“More like you won’t be able to have with me for twelve weeks,” he teases, tapping my nose. “I know I’m y but don’t worry about me, okay babe? I’ll be fine. I’ve waited a while to you, I can wait again.”

Blushing, I try to maintain a straight face. “Okay. Same.”  

“You know if you’re that pissed about it—”

“I’m telling you, I’m not—”

“We can work something out,” he continues, winking mischievously. “As long as you lie on your back, right?”

“Jongin, I’m going to be in a back brace.”

“I wasn’t thinking about actual ing. That’d be too harsh. But, you know, if you want it that bad, I’m sure we can work some out.”

“I do not want it that bad! I was talking about how this is going to for you!” I groan exasperatedly.

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