ISEUL’S POV

After all that has happened, Kai isn’t the only one who needs a minute.

I do too.

In the dark, I lay flat on my back with my arm over my eyes, trying to forget all that just happened.  I’m never going to sleep if I keep replaying them in my head.  I don’t know how to get down from a high like this so all I’m doing is breathe in and breathe out at an agonizingly slow pace, trying to get my heart to stop cartwheeling already.  Oh God, this is not working.  I want him so bad.  I want him so, so bad. 

This is different from anything else I’ve ever wanted before.  This is to the point where I don’t even know what I might do to get it.  I really didn’t.  My brain was short-circuiting, my heart was thumping wilder than it ever had, every single muscle in my body was tense and all they wanted to do was move to touch him.  And the feeling in my stomach, God, that was something I’ve never felt before either. 

All in all, I’ve never wanted anything so badly to the point where I felt… dangerous.

But today I did. 

Maybe it was a good thing I didn’t get what I want.  Maybe.

Now that my vital signals have more or less returned to normal— or at least I hope, I let my mind wander.  What might Kai be doing in the bathroom?  Is he just slowly breathing in and breathing out like I am here?  Or is he relieving himself in some other way?

The familiar tingle and clench that I feel in my gut returns and that’s when I know I’ve tiptoed past the safe border I should stay within already.  Oh God.  Is he?  Is he relieving himself?   I lift my head and lie completely still in the room, trying to listen.  Listen for something that might come from the bathroom.

But I don’t hear anything.  The room is completely quiet, save for Jongguk’s soft, rhythmic breathing.  I wait and wait, but I hear nothing.  It’s like Kai isn’t even there.

I gradually feel drifting out of consciousness, but just before I fall asleep completely, I hear a click.  My eyelids flutter open again, and then I hear soft, padded footsteps approaching, like someone walking on a carpet.  Wait, that must be it.  That must be Kai.

The empty side of the mattress dips to one side and Kai lowers himself on the bed again.  He shifts closer to me.

“Are you still awake?”  He whispers.

I roll over to my side to face him.  “Are you really going to sleep here?”

He knits his brows.  “You don’t want me to?”

“I… no…“ I shake my head.  “It’s just that… you know…”

“I’m not going to do anything.”  Kai says reassuringly, circling an arm around my waist.  “I promise.  We’ll just… sleep.  I’ll just hold you like this.”

Oh God, is this a dream?  This is crazy.  I… I don’t know how to say it, but my heart is bursting for him.  It’s swelling with… everything.  For him, I just feel so, so much.  I think I…

“Okay?”  He whispers, his eyes boring into mine. 

“Okay.”  I nod.  After a moment’s hesitation, I add, “But I might kick you.”

.  Just what... what… did I say that for?!

In the dark, the corners of Kai’s mouth quirk up into a bemused smile.  “I’ve been kicked before.”

“On the face.  I kicked Jae on the face once, when we were younger.  And I know we’re sharing the space evenly now, but in a few hours I might push you off the bed.”  I continue, for some reason revealing all my bad sleeping habits to him.  What the , Iseul.  Do you actually want him to get up and leave?!

“I think I can handle that.”  Kai replies, still smiling as he continues to look at me.  “Any more warnings?”

“Um, Jae says I talk in my sleep too.  Sometimes I get angry over something but I just mumble all the way through so you’ll never know what my subconscious is mad about.”  I blabber on.  Oh my God, I have absolutely no control over my mouth.  Or my brain.  Or any part of me, at the moment.  He’s going to get up and leave now, I can feel it.  Urgh.

“I hear you talk all the time already.”  Kai tells me.  He leans in and kisses my forehead, a simple action that shuts down every single nerve in my body.  “It’s fine.  Just go to sleep.”

But I can’t.  I still can’t.  Especially not now, when I’m alive and awake because Kai is near me.  I can’t sleep when my heart is literally exploding inside my ribcage, hello?

“What?”  He whispers, noticing how I’m looking at him so intently.  Oh no.  He probably thinks I’m a creep with how I’m always looking at him, but I just… I can’t help it.  I can’t.  I want to see Paris, I want to see Rome, I want to see Austria and Moscow and Vancouver and Alaska and Tokyo and Sydney and Rio, but I want to see him as well.  I want to keep looking at him.  I can’t look away.  I can’t imagine not being able to see him—

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

I know what this is.  I’m in...

Aish, I’m so ed.

“What?  Why are you looking at me like that?” He asks again, wrapping his arm tighter around me.  Oh God, no.  Please don’t do that, I’m already having a hard time breathing with you around like this.   

“Kai.”  I croak, cupping his face in my hands.  My hands are trembling and he must’ve felt them.  He holds on to them, gently pressing them to his cheeks. 

“Iseul.”  He says.

“Kai, I…”

Am I going to say it?  Am I???  Oh .  My heart is hammering harder against my ribcage than it ever has before.  Blood rushes all over my body, and all of a sudden I feel like throwing up.  Okay, .  This is bad.  Breathe, Iseul, breathe.  Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out…

Kai holds my gaze just as well.  “You…”

Breathe in, breathe out… okay, I’m calm now. 

“Nothing.  I’m sleepy.”  I say with a small smile, hoping I sound convincing.  “Good night.”

Maybe I just can’t them because it’s dark, but Kai’s eyes doesn’t reveal anything.  He remains impassive.  “Okay.  Good night.”

And with that, this time, I finally drift off to sleep. 

“Thank you.”  Suzy bows as the man in the suit opens the door for her and steps aside, letting her step in.  The man in the suit.  That’s what she has been calling everyone around here.  Suzy gives herself a mental knock on the head and once again reminds herself to do more research on the staff, especially regarding their names and positions, as she steps into the Joker’s office.

She’s finally here to see her father.

And there he sits, on the sofa arranged around a coffee table just in front of his large work table, seemingly immersed in a document he is currently reading. 

“Appa.”  Suzy greets, bowing low in respect. 

Sooman looks up, his brows still furrowed in concentration.  Upon seeing her, they relax a bit.  Suzy smiles, relieved and happy to be finally reunited with her father after all those years of being kept in hiding until it is finally the right time for her to come and be officially initiated into the HOC.  Now she’s here and she’s ready to claim her future position.  She is the descendant of the Joker.

“How is training?”  Sooman asks as his daughter settles down opposite him, looking around her father’s office for the first time. 

“Good.  Dongwook is really efficient and sharp.”  Suzy replies.  “I can see why he’s one of the best.”

Sooman nods.  “He trained Kai—“

“Who?” Suzy interrupts, wrinkling her nose.

“Ah, I forgot you only know him as Jongin.  He goes by Kai now.  That’s his alias.”  Sooman explains laconically. 

Her heart stops for a while.  Jongin.  Jongin.

“Oh… right.”  Suzy murmurs.  “Kai…  Jongin… okay.”

Sooman nods.  “Dongwook trained Kai too when he was younger.”

Upon hearing the unfamiliar name again, Suzy flinches.  It just made her childhood best friend seem like a different person altogether.  But Suzy quickly shakes her head.  She has an alias too now, doesn’t she?  Jongin still knows her as Sooji—and now she goes by Suzy.  People change.  But Jongin will still be Jongin to her.  Though it might be a good idea for her to start getting used to Kai…

She clears .  “About Kai…”

“Yes?”  Sooman raises an eyebrow.

“Can I meet him, appa?”  Suzy asks, biting her lip.  “I know I’m not supposed to meet anyone until I’ve completed my training and officially announced in the Ceremony but…”

Sooman looks at his daughter, studying her.  “Do you miss him?”

Suzy quickly looks up, flustered.  “Well, yeah, but obviously not in that way, appa.  I mean, we are sort of blood-related.  I just miss him as my childhood best friend.  I want to see how he is now.”

Sooman pressing his lips together, nodding slowly.  “Of course.  But you can’t.”

“I can’t?”  Suzy repeats, her brows furrowing. 

“He’s in Hong Kong right now.”  Sooman explains, and Suzy lets out a quick ‘Oooh’ in understanding.  “He’s attending the annual House Meeting there and he’ll be there for a few days.”

“I see.” 

“You can meet him when he gets back.”  Sooman says, glancing at her.  “There are other people you’ll want to meet then as well.” 

“Other people?”  Suzy questions, tilting her head.

“Yes.”  Sooman nods, speaking more carefully now.  “The thing is, Kai… he has a son now.”

“A son?”  Suzy echoes shrilly, her eyes bulging.  “What?”

“His name is Jongguk and he’s six, turning seven in a few months.”  Her father explains.  “But this is for Kai to tell you.  I’m already disclosing too much.  I just thought that I’d… prepare you a little.  I know this isn’t exactly what you’d expect to hear about your childhood best friend after losing contact for such a long time. 

“He’s six already?”  Suzy repeats, her voice still a pitch higher than normal.  “He’s—what, is he married?  Is that who I’m going to meet?  His wife?” 

“No, he’s not married.  And there’s no wife either.  But I’ll leave that for Kai to explain to you once you two meet.”  Sooman explains, his face giving away nothing. 

“Oh.”  Suzy hums thoughtfully.  “Then who are the other people…?”

Sooman sighs.  This is where everything meets.  He looks at his daughter warily.  Suzy is looking at him with her brows furrowed, her eyes hard and questioning. 

“His son’s babysitter.”

Her father wouldn’t tell. 

Suzy sighs as she re-ties her ponytail, tugging at the edges of her hair to tighten it even more.  There was something unpleasant in the way he said babysitter, but Suzy can’t quite lay her finger on it.  It sounded like a warning, but why?

“Dammit, Jongin.”  She curses, stepping into the hot shower.  Steam fills the bathroom, fogging up the glass walls of the shower and the mirror on the sink.  “What the hell did you do while I was gone?”

It is hard to explain where here feelings for Jongin stand at this point.  Her dad and his dad—who is now dead—are half-brothers, so that makes them half-cousins, to say the least.  Jongin was the scrawny, fluffy-haired kid she grew up with while their parents were off doing God-knows-what.   Being a few years older, he was always the one taking care of her.  They were so close, even more so after Jongin’s father died, until the day Suzy turned ten.  Suzy was sent off to hide—live a normal life away from the underground society that would try to hunt her down and learn about the world until she was an adult.  Until she was ready to come back to the HOC and train to take on her position as the next Joker after her father.

Little by little, over the years, she learned about the HOC and all its business in the underground society.   Now she’s done all that, she’s done with her life in incognito, she knows what her father does and why he was always gone, and she knows what her life is going to be all about.   Now it’s Jongin she doesn’t know a single thing about.  Or Kai.  After more than ten years of contact loss, what the hell could he have possibly done to suddenly end up with a son?

Anyway, about her feelings.  Suzy closes her eyes and starts lathering facial wash on her face.  She doesn’t feel for Jongin in a romantic way, but there is an attachment that runs deep between them due to all those childhood years spent together.  There always will be too.  All in all, Suzy cares for Jongin.  Kai.  Jong—

“Aish!”  Suzy groans, accidentally getting a bit of soap in her eyes.  Rinsing it, she rubs her eyes and blinks rapidly like a lost rabbit.  “Jongin.  I’m still calling you Jongin.”  She says decisively to herself.

Stepping out of the shower with a towel wrapped around her body, Suzy wipes the steam of the mirror and stares at her reflection.  The knot of artificially dyed auburn hair tied in a bun at the top of her head involuntarily brings her back to a memory of Iseul. 

Iseul, who yelped in shock when she walked into their shared apartment after an evening class to see Suzy on the bathroom floor with her laptop on the covered toilet seat, watching a tutorial on how to home-dye. 

Iseul, who ended up helping her because Suzy always left out several locks untouched. 

Iseul, who complained that light caramel looked waaaay better on her for the next few days. 

Iseul, who she used to share a flat with, who she used to go to college with, who she used to see every day… who is now officially out of her life already. 

Suzy sighs.  She misses Iseul.  Why hasn’t Iseul called anyway?  It’s only been a few days, but it’s unlikely of Iseul to not call or text or anything.  Especially after Suzy gave her that huge gushy goodbye speech during graduation day.  Surely Iseul would sense something wrong and tried to call?  And most importantly, is she still babysitting?!  Is she still working for that creepy- guy who hired her out of the blue?!

“Seo Iseul.”  Suzy shakes her head, pulling the elastic free from the knot.  Her long hair cascades down.  “I hope you’ve found a better job than that crazy babysitting thing you took on impulse.”

ISEUL’S POV

Sunlight streams through the translucent curtains, hitting me right.  Where.  It.  Counts. 

My eyes!  GAH!!  THEY BURN!!

I blink slowly, tilting my head upwards and squinting at the window.  Dammit.  I’m awake now, sun.  You see what you did there?  You think this is funny?  Huh?  Huh??  Aish, I should’ve pulled those thick curtains over too last night!  It didn’t seem bright yesterday… oh right, we arrived back here at like, eleven at night.  Stupid Iseul.  Of course it wouldn’t be bright. 

I slowly close my eyes again.  Well, it sure is morning and bright already, but that doesn’t mean I have to get up, does it?  I still want to sleep.  Besides, this bed is so comfy!  The pillow is so soft the blanket is just as fluffy!!  I’m pretty sure this is stuffed with goose feather.  Yup!  Those are what quality pillows are stuffed with right?  Maybe they massaged the geese too to make their feathers feel better, like what they do to cows for wagyu steak and such.  Aside from being so fluffy, everything is so warm too, especially because I’m snuggling into—

OHMYGOD.

My eyes fly open, ignoring the glare of the sun.  My vision focuses to what’s in directly in front of me— brown.  Okay, brown because—

I gasp softly. 

Brown because I’ve been nuzzling into Kai’s chest. 

Memories of last night come flooding back.  We actually did it.  We slept together—in the most innocent sense, of course—on the same bed.  He’s actually here.  And I’m actually here, snuggling into the warmth of his body.  His hand is still thrown around me as well, just as it had been last night.  I slowly inch away so I can look up to see his face without hitting my head on his chin.  Is he still asleep?

I look up.  Oh God, he is, and I’m thoroughly blown away by how angelic he looks even when he’s asleep.  His hair is a mess, but the most beautiful kind that I’ve ever seen.  It’s a mess that doesn’t even look like one.  He doesn’t even need to try, does he?  His eyebrows are relaxed, his eyes are peacefully closed, and his lush lips are slightly ajar while he breathes— and unlike how his facial features are usually pinched into a scowl, a frown, or a smirk, this time, he looks so tranquil and serene, so bare.  Even now, he’s so beautiful. 

I’m the luckiest girl alive to be waking up to this.

Now I want to wake up to this forever. 

I want to wake up to this on every single day of my life onwards.

Which is stupid.  As usual.  Seo Iseul always entertains the stupid ideas brewing in her head.

Because who am I kidding?  We all know that that’s not be possible.  This won’t happen again when we’re already back in Korea, because we’ll be sleeping in our own rooms, of course.  Heck, this might not even happen again here in Hong Kong!  I might’ve kicked him on the balls last night so he might not want to share a bed with me ever again.  Aish, goddammit Iseul, get a grip on yourself! 

I watch him sleep for a bit more, appreciating every detail about him a bit more while I can.  I probably know his face better than I know mine already by now, with all the staring I’ve been doing in the past few days.  But can you blame me??  He is so, so…

What is that on the corner of his forehead, actually?

I peer at it closer, trying to remember if I’ve seen that… scar?   Is that a scar?  Have I seen that scar before?

No.  I’m pretty sure I haven’t. 

I chew on my inner cheek, thinking hard.  But it wasn’t there yesterday, when we were still at Disneyland.  Not even when he got back.  And I’m not sure if I saw it last night when we were, you know, talking on the bed… oh but it was dark.  I could’ve missed it.

Gingerly lifting my hand, I brush a bit of his hair away from it so I can see the scar better.  .  It runs along his hairline and I find my fingers ghosting along the length of it, touching it, but at the same time not quite.  The blood clot looks fairly new actually. 

Is that what it is?

A new scar?

From where, though?

Suddenly, his hand touches mine and holds it gently.  Oh .  Is he awake?  I snuggle closer to him and peer at his eyes, wondering if he’s just doing this in his sleep or because he actually felt me touching him.

“Good morning.”  Kai suddenly says in a raspy voice, kissing the back of my hand.  And just like that, I’m dead.  No one can survive from that deep, y bed voice of his!!

“M-morning.”  I stutter, acting like an idiot already on this brand new day.  Kai opens his eyes sleepily and smiles.  And I swear to God, seeing him in a lay beside me on the bed with his eyes still half-closed and a halfway-there smile on his lips is the best way I’ve ever woken up in my life. 

His hands move to hold my face, and his thumb gently my cheek.  My heartrate is absurd right now.  The way he’s looking at me, and the way he’s holding me like I’m fine china—

“What?” I whisper.  My heart is thundering furiously in my chest and I don’t know—if I speak any louder I’m afraid he might hear.

“Nothing.”  He whispers back, smiling.  “I’m just…”

“Yes?”

“Happy.”  Kai says.  A smile threatens to spill across my lips.

“I am too.” I answer shyly.

Kai takes a moment before speaking again.  “Ask away.  I know you want to.” 

“Oh… you do?” 

“Mmhmm.” 

I bite my lip and gently touch the scar again, almost double-checking to make sure it’s really there.  “When did you get this?”

“Yesterday.”

My heart squeezes a little, imagining all the possibilities how.  “How did you get it?”

“I met some bad guys and a few things came flying my way.”  He answers vaguely.  My brows furrowed in confusion.  A few things came flying his way?  Like, what, a UFO?!

“What things?”

“I don’t know.  Can’t remember.”  Kai mumbles, and I get this inkling that he’s lying.  “It could’ve been because someone kicked me in the face, or because I hit my head on something, or because—“

“Just what did you get into yesterday?!”  I whisper-scream.  “You said you were going to a meeting!”

“Yeah, to meet some bad guys.”  Kai answers nonchalantly.

“So like you went to fight or something?”

“What’s or something?”

“Yah!”  I say, raising my voice.  Kai smiles and taps my nose, unnervingly calm right now.  Then he pulls me closer to him, hugging me tightly with his arm.

I try to wriggle away.  “Nope.  No cuddling until you answer me properly.”

“Stop moving.”

“Well stop lying!”  I shoot back, trying to free myself.  “What did you do yesterday?!”

Kai sighs.  “I told you, Seul.  I was at work.”

“And?”

“And I went to meet some people.  A meeting.  But then stuff happened and I ended up with this, but that’s it.  Honest.” 

I bite my lip.  He doesn’t want to talk about it.  Dammit, he never wants to talk about it.  What could it possibly be?  What could have happened yesterday while he was gone?  He probably fought but… what happened?! 

“I’m fine, baby.  I really am.”  He says reassuringly, but I’m still worried.  I want to ask more but I know how strictly tight-lipped he is about his work and how confidential it is so I decide to just… trust him.   I’ll just trust him on this one.  I don’t know how long I’m going to last, sitting in the dark like this but at least for now—for him, for us, I’ll trust him and let it go.

“Does it still hurt?”  I ask softly, caressing his cheek gently.

“No.”  Kai answers, and I smile, hoping it doesn’t look strained.  The thing is, I’m sure the wound would’ve hurt like a at some point.  You don’t even need to be on the First-Aid team in high school to know that.  A wound like that could split his skull open!

Okay, so maybe I’m exaggerating.  But still.

“Stop worrying about me.”  His voice interrupts my train of thoughts again.  “I’m okay.  It’s what I do and I know what I’m doing.”

“Mmmhmm.”  I nod, mindlessly wrapping my leg over his lower body.  Don’t look at me like that—we’re just hugging.  “If you say so then.”

Kai doesn’t reply.  He lays there silently with his eyes closed, breathing oddly ragged and shallow.  My brows knit in confusion.  What’s up with him?

“Kai.”  I call.  “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Are you sure you’re not hurt?”  I ask again, wriggling back into him.  This is sooo nice!

“I’m not.”  He answers, sounding strained.  “Now will you stop moving?”

“Why?  I want to spoon!”  I say cheerfully.

“No.  Noooo.”  Kai groans.

“Why?!  Is your chest in pain or something?”  I press on, shifting a little.  “Why are you—“

Then it hits me.  Literally. 

I move my leg but my thigh brushes against something… hard.  What the—

“Oh God.”  Kai whispers, squeezing his eyes closed tightly.  “Baby, please stop moving.”

“What was—“ I look down but stop.  The words escape me when I see what that was.  Oh my God, .  , , , , how could’ve I been so stupid and forgot—

It’s the thing usually guys get in the morning.

It’s his morning .

Yes.

He’s hard.

I subconsciously bite my lower lip, unable to tear myself away from the bulge in his pants.   Because my life—thus far—is basically non-existent, this is my first time seeing one up close and personal and I… I don’t know how to react.  So that’s what it looks like.  It really looks like a tent in their pants—like what those authors usually say, but this… … , he looks so… big.

“I told you you get me hard.”  Kai whispers, but I can barely hear him.  I look at his bulge, then at him, then his bulge, then back at him.  His eyes are dark, just as they were last night, and I’m brought back to the feeling I felt then as well.

Oh my God.

“You see what you do to me Iseul?”  He asks, eyes flickering down to his pants.  The UST—unspoken —between us is growing, increasing exponentially, and as always, in situations like this I do nothing but remain stock-still at whatever position I currently am.

.  He’s hard.                                                                  

Why is that so hot?

“You see how hard I am?”  He continues, biting his lips.   y .  And yes, I see how hard and big you are, damn it!!  Now stop killing me!!  Hoe-Seul is partying wildly, demanding I say something back now, but I don’t know what to say—

My eyes widen.

—especially not when he suddenly moves his hand and clutches his , palming it. 

Holy .

I watch, hypnotized, as he slowly wraps his fingers around his girth.  That shows how thick it is.  Then slowly he begins , moving his hand up and down, up and down, at an agonizingly slow pace.  Oh God, he—he’s touching himself and I—

“Do you know how you’re looking at me right now?”  He asks, and my eyes finally flicker up to meet his.  His eyes are clouded with… lust.  “You’re biting your lip, your eyes are hooded, and I have never seen you look so aroused before.”

I don’t answer.  The tingling sensation between my legs that I felt last night is back, and I’m afraid that if I move a muscle, I might end up doing something I’ll regret.  Hoe-Seul is definitely going to take over.

“Do you know what I see when you bite your lips like that, baby girl?”  He asks, his voice deep, rich, and melodious. 

Slowly, I shake my head.  It’s final.  I am hypnotized by him.

“I see you using them for better purposes.”  He whispers.  “I see you on your knees for me, my .”

.....!!!

I'm choking!  I'm CHOKING!  HOLD MY WEAVE!

Oh my ing gosh.  How did he get here?  Why is he talking dirty to me?  Am I still alive?!

 “I see your lips glistening white with my .”  He continues, mercilessly murdering my soul and sanity.  “Then I see you them clean and swallowing everything for me.”

.  , , .

Kimchi kimchi kimchi kimchiiiiiii…. 

Kai smirks, seeing how I’m probably red as a kimchi right now.  “Do you think you can take my in that pretty little mouth of yours, baby?”

BIBIMBAP, BIBIMBAP, BIBIMBAP....... AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

“Kai…” I whimper.  All rational judgement flies out of my head.  The ache is so real now, there’s nothing I won’t give to have him take me right then and there.  I need him so much, I don’t even care what’s going to happen next if he—

“What?”

“Please…” I beg softly, not sure for what.  “Oh God, please…”

The darkness in his eyes intensifies.

“Are you begging for me, Iseul?”  He asks, his lips.  Why is he asking?   Does he not know?

With closed eyes, I barely manage a nod.

“For what?”  He taunts, his signature smirk on show.

“I don’t know…” I whisper, squeezing my legs together.  “God, Kai, I don’t know...”

Kai pauses for a moment before finally parting his lips to speak again.   “You touch me then.”

Your mouth hangs open.  “What?”

“I promised to never touch you, didn’t I?”  He says.  “But I didn’t say anything about you not touching me.  Nor did you.”

“I…”

“So touch me.”  Kai coaxes, taking my hand.  He places it on his lower abdomen, just above the waistband of his pants that hang dangerously low on his hips.  “Touch me, Iseul.”

With that voice, he could tell me to walk across hell and I’d do it with a smile.  I slowly bring my hand down, first touching the fabric of his pants.  My heart has probably beaten itself to death already because right now all I can feel is the cotton of his pants on my fingers.

And slowly, I wrap my fingers around his shaft. 

Kai’s breath hitches audibly as I do.  Goddamn, he wasn’t lying.  He is huge.  He’s thick.  He’s severely stiff.  And he’s in the palm of my hand now.  How the hell did this happen?

Moving purely by instinct now, I slowly give it a slight squeeze. 

“.”  Kai curses, sounding sinfully y.  “That’s it, baby.  Keep going.” 

I’m not even thinking anymore.  I bite my lip as I begin moving my hand up and down slowly along his length, rubbing my thumb over the top.  The head of his .  Kai lets out a low, guttural growl, and I can feel him throb in my palm, and by now he’s standing upright—stretching the fabric of his pants.  Kai doesn’t take my eyes off me as I rub him.  His lips are slightly parted, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. 

“Iseul…” he breathes, sounding almost delirious.  “You…”

“Yes?”  I whisper, my husky voice surprising myself.

“I want you to—“

Suddenly, it happens.

“Appa?”

In surprise, I immediately jerk my hand away.  With wide eyes and the dawning realization of what I’ve just done, I hold my hand up.

3….

2….

1…

“…aaaaAAAAAAH!!”  I shriek like a bloody idiot before jumping off the bed. 

OMMAAAAAAAA!!!

Kai looks at me murderously, but I ignore the death warning.   Rushing like a chicken that just got bitten on the by a horse, I make a beeline for the toilet and lock myself inside. 

OH MY GOD, oh my God, eottokhae?!  AAAAAAAAAAAH!!!  Am I retarded?!!  AM I?! 

Okay, okay, .  .  My heart is pounding.  Oh God, I really just did that.  I just went bolting like the stupid I am to the toilet.  WHAT THE .  So ing smooth, Seo Iseul.  Congratulations to you.  But in my defense, how does one react to such a plump—gulp—?!

“YAH!”  I hear Kai yell from outside.  .  He sounds mighty pissed.  Well— I’m sorry!!  I’m sorry Kai!!  It must be so hard for you right now, pun intended.  But I don’t have control over Hoe-Seul.  I’m so sorry Kai.  I’m sorry you’re stuck with an inexperienced like me.

Kai’s yell is followed by a faint, nearly indecipherable, “Appa, why are you there on noona’s bed?  What’s wrong with noona?”

I wince again.  Jongguk is awake, which means he witnessed my great escape from the Land of Hoe and .  Just whyyyy did he have to wake up right then?!   He probably thinks I’m an escaped mental patient now.  I don’t blame him though, I’d arrest me too.

“Your noona is a certified idiot, Jongguk.”  Kai growls, and I have to nod with him on that one.  Yup, his words are totally justifiable by my recent actions.

With that conclusion I sit on the toilet bowl, still breathing hard to steady myself.  Gingerly, I lift my hand that I haven’t even noticed to be trembling.  Curling my hand inwards a little, I in my breath.

I’ve said this once, I’ve said this twice, but let me say this for the third time today—

Kai’s 9 inches…

Really is huge.

I have a confession.

I’m not the Seo Iseul you know anymore.

Now I’m part-time hoe, part-time babysitter.

Whew.  What a life.

"Noona, why does appa look so mad?"  Jongguk whispers, clutching my hand as we wait for the next train to arrive.  It’s nearly twelve noon now, and after all that waking up fiasco, we're finally underground and about take the subway from Central to Causeway Bay to meet up with the rest of the boys for lunch. 

I have no idea what they did during the morning and I can't ask Kai because he's not in the best mood right now.  His eyebrows are crossed and he's been walking around with a resting face, looking decidedly pissed.  And obviously, it's because of, you know, after what happened on the bed.  I know it's not nice to be left hanging, but in my defense, what could have I done?!  Continue touching him with Jongguk awake and alert beside us?  Nah, he shouldn't know about my hoe side. 

Because let's face it.  Over the past 24 hours alone I've done more ual activities than I have ever done in my whole life.  It's like a dormant side of me has finally been awakened by Kai.

AND BESIDES!  KAI was the one who asked me to touch him, wasn't he?  I wouldn't have if he never told me, but because he did... well... can't blame Hoe-Seul for taking over!  AND YOU CAN’T BLAME ME FOR FREAKING OUT EITHER!  I know I shouldn’t have yelled my tonsils out like that but it’s my first time, okay?!  It’s my first time holding a—

"Noona!  Can't you hear Jongguk??"

"Huh?"  I blink, looking at him in confusion.  Did he say anything?

"I'm asking why appa looks so mad!"  Jongguk repeats, pointing at the man in question who's busy texting his on phone. 

"Because... because maybe he..."  I trail off, not knowing how to explain it.  Kai suddenly looks up at me, catching me off guard, flustering me with the sudden eye contact.

"Because your noona was very irresponsible this morning, Guk."  He says, smiling sarcastically at me. 

My eyes bulge.  "Yah, what could have I done?!  It's not my fault!!" 

"Why did you wake up so early Guk?"  Kao asks instead, ignoring me as usual.

"Don't know."  Jongguk shrugs dismissively.  "Why not?"

I look at Kai with an amused smile.  A natural-born er!

Kai makes a sour face and mouths 'what?'  I giggle.  He's so cute when he's childish and grumpy like this.  But—uh oh.  He’s glaring at me.  , he’s seriously pissed.  I don’t think he liked how I yelled loud enough for the NYPD to hear.   But come oooon, I’m inexperienced!  And basically moronic so…

"Oh!  The train is coming!"  Jongguk suddenly squeals, forgetting his inquest for the reason behind Kai's frown already. 

"It's so full!"  I comment.  "Isn't it like, well past rush hour already?"

"The Central line is always full."  Kai replies, not really looking at me.  "Come on Guk.  As soon as they get off we have to get in."

Jongguk takes Kai's hand, letting go of mine, and swings it happily.  Looking at a huge subway map on a wall behind him, he says, "Mong Kok is like the Buddhist guy right?"

"What?  That's monk!"  I wrinkle my nose.  "Yah Guk, are you making these jokes on purpose?"

"Oh, really?"  Jongguk giggles.  "No!  It just sounds funny and the same!"

Well .   This child has a strong case of the Dad Joke Genes in him.  It's already there and it'll flourish when he grows up, I s