Part I/III

It was one o’clock in the morning and you were staring at a cup of coffee you made for breakfast. The cup left undisturbed, and so the toast beside it. And again, he left for work without saying a word to you or even bother taste the food you made for him.

Your relationship was not always this miserable, there were times you were happy. At least you hoped the other person was feeling the same way. Of course there were so many ups and downs during those two years. You were dating a superstar, Kris from EXO, but it was a good relationship. You could barely see him anymore with his hectic schedules as an idol, even a fifteen minutes conversation on the phone could only happen once a week, or when he’s not out there promoting a song.

When he decided to leave and filed a lawsuit, you thought that you could finally have a normal relationship. He flew you out to China as he asked to stay. He was alone, and he was scared. It was a living nightmare when the news about him filing the lawsuit got out. The people that he thought would love him no matter what, turned their backs, left hateful comments and called him names. You were there with him the whole time, you told him everything will be okay.

And you were right. A few months later, the offers started to rolling in. He took the chance and flew to Prague. He talked to you first about it and you encouraged him to do whatever he wants. It wasn’t like it’s the first time he leaves the country for a job. He promised to call you every night and send you text messages a couple of times a day and he did. You didn’t have to worry about him being unfaithful because you trusted him.

Then the filming was over, he came back. And you had no idea it was the start of an end. Yifan started to go out a lot more because he had more work to do, but you knew it wasn’t the truth. He asked you to eat dinner first because he will be coming home late, and when he came home, you could hear guilt in his voice as he said goodnight.

You couldn’t figure out what’s wrong nor you had the guts to find out until you stumbled upon a text message coming from that woman. You ignored him for that whole day and when he asked you why, you simply told him the truth. Yifan got on his knees, asking for your forgiveness. He then continued explaining that his affair with his co-star meant nothing and he truly loves you.

And you were stupid enough to believe him.

Because there you were, in the same exact spot when you found out he has been seeing another woman, and there was someone else. You were in a foreign country, you didn’t know anyone beside him, and you couldn’t speak Chinese. You wanted to call your friends, you wanted to ask for help, but you knew in the back of your mind they all will say you get what you deserve. You forgave him when you knew he has been cheating on you for God knows how long, and you were willing to stay in another country to stay with your unfaithful boyfriend.

Just after a few weeks, he turned cold once again. This time, he didn’t even try to hide it. He would leave early in the morning and come back when you’re asleep, sometimes he wouldn’t come home at all. It was like he wants you to break off the relationship instead of him.

A heavy sigh left your lips as you got up and headed to the bedroom. You immediately got under the blanket, placing another pillow beside you, so you could pretend it was him. It did help you get trough the night without crying.

But as you drift off to sleep, you heard the footsteps coming from the front door. It was Yifan. He was home for the night. He went to wash himself before settling beside you. His arms s around your waists as his head rested on the crook of your next.

“Baobei. . .” He called you softly. You kept your eyes closed. You didn’t want to look at him and let him see what a wreck you really were. “Baobei, I’m sorry.” He muttered. He kept saying sorry over and over again. “I’m so sorry. . .” You opened your eyes when you felt his tears trickling down your neck. He was crying.

Why? If this is hurting him too, why didn’t he stop? If this relationship brings nothing but pain why didn’t he say it to your face that it’s over?

~-*-~

Waiting. . . Waiting. . .Waiting. . .

You were stuck in the same routine, and you didn’t even know what you were waiting for.

You just finished your dinner and cleaned the table. You didn’t forget to put the leftovers in the fridge for Yifan later, even if you knew it will go to waste. But tonight you didn’t want to wait for him. You had a book with you and you light up some candles. It didn’t take long for you to get in the middle of the book and your eyes started to feel heavy.

You put the book beside you, blew off the candles, and at the same time Yifan appeared in front of your bedroom door. You had to stare at him for some time to make sure you were not hallucinating.

“H-hi. . .” you said timidly as if he was a stranger you just met. “You’re home early.”

“Yeah, we finished filming early tonight.” It was a lie and both of you knew it.

“Ah, okay.” You nodded. “I’m going to bed, there is din—”

“We need to talk.” He cuts you off in the middle of your word. You stare at him, waiting for him to continue. He walked closer, and sat on the edge of the bed. “I can’t be with you anymore.”

“You want to break up?” You asked even when you know the answer. “Why?”

“I have someone else.” He answered, and suddenly your chest felt tight. “I know what I did was wrong and I should leave her for your sake, but I can’t because I have feelings for her.”

“So. . .” You had to pause for a moment, you didn’t want to see you in tears. “So you can’t leave her.” You looked down on your hands. He couldn’t leave her for you, someone that has been with him for almost three years now.

“I’m sorry. . .” You didn’t even know if he really meant it. “I’ll be sleeping on the couch.”

You watched him walks away to the door before he turned around to say his final goodnight to you. And that’s when you finally feel like your whole world is crumbling apart. It was over.

It was finally over.

~-*-~

Morning came too soon. You knew you had to get out from that place. You took shower quietly and took out your suitcase from the drawer. You took everything that was yours and placed it inside. The bedroom looked empty without your things, and you had to check the other rooms to make sure you don’t leave anything left of yours in his place.

When Yifan woke up, you were crouching down looking for something under the table, and you noticed him as you stood up.

“Did I wake you?”

He groggily shook his head, he was confused at first but after seeing the suitcase it was clear what you were doing. “Are you leaving?”

“Yeah.” You said. “There is nothing I can do here, I don’t know anyone so it would be best for me to go home.”

Yifan threw his blanket aside as he approached you. “I’m so sorry, I’m—”

“How many time do I have to say that I have forgiven you?” You asked, tilting your head to the side. “Stop saying that you’re sorry.” He couldn’t say a word, but guilt was written all over his face. “Don’t worry about me, just. . . Just be happy with her.”

When you finally on your final step to the front door, you took off the necklace along with the ring he gave you. “Here.” You said, putting them on his hand. “Thank you for everything.” For the memories, happiness, and pain you gave me. “Goodbye, Yifan.” You said your final words with a smile. You left his place and without looking back.

You knew it was for the better, you will find someone else, but you couldn’t help but to wish he would stop you from leaving but he never did and that’s when you knew it was really over.