" I remember once again
The lakeshore we used to walk around often
Staying up all night talking about little things
We were so happy back then

I remember once again
The quiet park in front of your house
I used to throw fits because I missed you so much
It was so good back then because you were there" 

i'm so tired , my voice is cracking and i'm counting the minutes for this concert to end , not that i'm not happy being here with my fans cheering for me and for cnblue , but today i'm really tired , i didn't sleep for days and i think my body is burning up from fever , oh there jonghyun signaling me if i'm okay and if we should take another break for me to rest , but i just signaled to him "i'm fine" - i need to continue this so we can return home soon .. home !! it's so lonely there at my own apartment, i'll just spend the night at minhyuk's apartment ..

oh i can see it over there another " yongseo " light board , and there a photo for me with seohyun from our WGM days , really i can see seohyun's name everywhere among the audience as usual  ..
seohyun or seo joohyun - fans and media thinks that we are dating for sure , thousands of lovely dovy fan fictions are all over the internet , but the truth we are not even dating not once since WGM ended 5 years ago , we were just a co-workers in a vareity show ,they believe in us because our WGM felt so real well it was REAL , but it's not enough reason for us to be dating , she's seohyun guys ! SNSD maknae , the most beautiful angel out there who got both brain and body , have you ever count her fanboys ! did you think just because she opened her heart for me on a show i could easily ask her out after the program ! i have to admit i loved her at the end of WGM but then i became crazy in love with her for the past years but in her eyes i'm just another one of her countless fanboys , i even waited for her call like a fool for all these past years , if she missed me if she loved me she would have called me once right ? , why didn't i confess to her bravely ?! well , i think i lost track of time waiting for our mutual moment but we were so busy it never happened , and now it's too late .. i can't just go tell her " i love you , be my girl , you once had a feelings for me 5 years ago right !" , for sure she will reply " get a life yong " .. i wonder why i didn't move on her ? why am i stalking her news everyday , staring at her breath taking beauty as a creepy fan , losing my self in seohyun's love day after day .. i just kept writing my untold feelings over and over in my songs , " one fine day " is one of them ,but she never knew that she was the inspiration for that song and the other countless songs , i don't think she even knows about the existence of these songs ,she's busy after all, can't blame her , i wonder if she ever got my one-sided love story ! ,me being busy didn't help to forget her nor acting in a romantic drama with other pretty girls , i just keep thinking about her in every possible moment , thinking about her before sleeping is like a daily routine , i'm really confused about what she thinks about me , sometimes she pats my shoulder roughly in a national tv giving me her doll as if telling the whole world you belong to me , but sometimes she hides from me , keep talking to my dongsaengs comfortably and ignore my presence completely , our situation is so weird it feels like i'm the closest to her yet the most stranger .. i even went as far as residing in the same building as her just to watch over her , we met coincidently a few times , sometimes she would knock our door to give me fans' gifts but then she would leave quickly , until the media found about us being neighbors , i was worried about her , i was afraid she would hate me for giving her those endless rumors being dating me so i moved out with my members .. ah it's time to sing the encore song " love light " ... 

fans are singing with me love light , how lovely , every time i sing this song i remember her singing it for me celebrating my birthday day , i don't think i'll ever get a birthday party like that again , that day was the first time my heart flutter for her , i never experienced that heart fluttering effect with any other girl who i dated before , i don't know why .. maybe because i didn't imagine it even in my dreams , a cute pure girl singing for me a love song at a beautiful night , that day i totally forgot about us being filmed , i just looked and thought of her and only her , we were so young back then , i don't think those days would make a sense for us the mature yongseo .. my vision is becoming blurry , my knees are so weak , the guitar cords are slippery because of my sweat , i'm starting to imagine things too , that girl over there wearing a scarf and a cap she looks identical to seohyun , hahahaha as if she would be really here just to watch my concert , i would have laughed more at this joke if i had more strength in my body ... 

the concert is finally over , it's time to take a selca with the audience .. ok done , jonghyun is patting my back proud of me and thankful for my effort , jungshin is looking at me with a worried eyes " i'm fine jungshin" i told him while walking for the dressing room , minhyuk gave me a warm tea , they were checking the selca , jonghyun kept spazzing the pretty girl at the first row who kept staring at him , minhyuk snatched the camera from him and passed it to me , then he kept playing a hide and seek game with jonghyun ..

i looked at the camera's screen , the picture is clear , jungshin is really a professional photographer , here another yongseo board can be seen behind me , oh and this is the girl that looked like her ...... oh she took off her cap in that photo , her hair .... eyes .... lips ... i got a strong feeling that i know them by heart , but why looking at her my heart stings and my hands is shaking , why i'm gasping for the air to breath , cause of my fever !!! .. i throw off the camera and opened the door of the waiting room in a hurry , i can hear my dongsaengs calling for me wondering where i'm going to , i just ignored them and kept running at the corridors like a crazy man , i'm crazy for thinking seohyun might be around at this building , but i can't help it i need to make sure myself .. if she's really her she will stay here at some corner until it's safer outside .. 

i'm dizzy , my vision is becoming more blurry now i can't even recognize people faces anymore , maybe i just need to go back to my dongsaengs so we can leave right away , i need to rest or i will have a weird thoughts again .. 

ahh that girl pumped at me , she's in hurry , i can smell seohyun scent from her , i looked at her ,wait a minute i held her arm to stop her " wait " ..

the girl didn't reply and pulled her cap down to hide her face .. i don't know where i got that courage from but i took off her cap , and her scarf .. i had the time to do it all since she was frozen .. 

my eyes met her eyes , her eyes were wide in a shock that her disguise was blown off , her beautiful cherry lips were trembling trying to find the words to say , i was as her totally shocked , all what i could say was " joohyun , you're joohyun right ? " , i tightened my grip on her arm , i bet it was painful for her but i just was afraid i would lose her again for another 5 years .. 

" aaaah oppa , what's up ? .. i was just here with a friend and .." she said cheerfully as if nothing happened , talking to me like a stranger , avoiding my eye contact , she's doing it again smiling at me that fake smile , i know she's here for me but why she's acting like that ! i felt a sting of sadness and confusion in my heart , she pulled her her arm to escape my grip and she did .. 

" i have to go back now " she told me and turned her back at me leaving .. my body was burning up already and my blood was boiling don't know if it was from the fever effect or from my anger at her actions .. i held her arm again to stop her , stared at her eyes intensely , my eyelids are getting heavier but i can't close my eyes now , i'll lose her if i do .. " joohyun , i love you " i said it , or that what i think since it was black all of sudden , my eyes were closed and i lost my strength , have i told her that i love her ! i'm not sure , i don't know , but i'll tell her again and again when i open my eyes , i swear i will tell her that i'm crazy in love with her , but for now i'm so tired ... 

i opened my eyes again , looking at the ceiling i can identify it as a waiting room in the same building , ahhh my head hurts , i finished the concert right ? and i had a weird dream about seohyun , i guess my fever is the one to blame .. but then i felt a smooth hand caressing my cheek " are you okay ? " it was seohyun's voice for sure .. i think i'm still dreaming then .. but she's here sitting on the floor beside the couch i'm laying on , her eyes are are filled with tears ! are those beautiful tears for my sake ! .. " i can't believe you , how can you perform while you're in that state , you should have taken a medicine at least or something , you're so stubborn oppa , are you all right ? tell me how are you feeling " she was angry blaming me and talking to me in banmal , caressing my cheek and checking for my forehead temperature , i can feel that she's deadly worried about me .. when was the last time she was that close to me ! i don't even remember anymore but i can smell her scent again - i missed it so much - , oh right my promise to tell her i have to do it .. i opened my mouth " juhyun , i need to tell you something " , i stared at her eyes seriously , " before you say it , i need to tell you something first , oppa " seohyun told me seriously , i was deadly afraid of what she's going to say next , i got a bad feeling about it but i just stopped breathing to hear her clearly ... her tears were pouring over her cheeks " oppa , i love you " i forgot how to breath that moment , but she continued " only you and forever will be you the one that i love so much more than my self " , i cupped her cheeks in my palms and kissed her lips deeply , passionately , as if it was my first and last kiss, as if it was my last day being alive , my last day on this earth , what can i do ? i don't want to let go of her , i want to kiss her forever , am i allowed to ? 

" hyung ! hyung are you okay " ahhhh here comes the noisy dongsaengs opening the door , they are now already in the room with us but still i didn't pause our passionate kiss , and I WILL NOT , even seohyun is still closing her eyes enjoying the kiss and didn't mind them , the dongsaengs got out and closed the door , good job guys .. 

she gasped for air so i broke the kiss , how cute , we stared at each other eyes for a moment and i couldn't help but to kiss her again ... 

what happened later that night ! i'll keep it to myself ^_^