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The Cruelty of Time

I was seven years old when I first met Jungkook. He was five. The age difference seems big when you're that young, but we hit it off right away. I will always remember that day. The sky was clear and there was a light breeze sweeping through the hot summer air. I was alone on the swings, gazing down at my feet as they dangled in the air just above the mulch on the ground. I didn't feel lonely, but I didn't feel happy to be by myself either. I was in a state of blankness. I simply saw everything around me as it was, and I didn't care to think about how anything made me feel.

The metal chain of the swing next to mine rattled, making me snap out of my trance and turn to face my side. There was a boy who looked a little younger than me, his black bangs barely obscuring his large eyes. His porcelain fingers gripped the chains tightly for security, the veins in his hands threatening to bulge out. Slowly, he turned his head until we were staring right into each other's eyes. There was an expression on his face that was very similar to mine. Just like me, he was blank.

"Can I sit here?" He asked in a high, soft voice. 

I nodded but said nothing. We sat in silence. His toes pressed into the earth, shifting his weight to gently rock himself back and forth on the swing. Unfortunately I was rather short for my age, so my feet did not quite reach the ground. Minutes passed, but still, neither of us dared to speak. I knew that if this continued, the sun would soon begin to set and we would have to go home. So finally, I broke the ice.

"I'm Jimin." I near-whispered, my voice barely more than a tiny croak. "What's your name?"

"Jungkook," He replied shyly. "How old are you, Mr. Jimin?"

I couldn't help but laugh at his awkward politeness. "Seven."

"Really?" He began counting with his fingers. "That's like my whole hand! You're old!"

"What?! No I'm not!" I protested. "My dad's old. He's forty."

"What kind of number is forty?" Jungkook's eyes narrowed in confusion, his head cocking to the side.

"A really big number." I laughed again.

He smiled too, easing the tension in the atmosphere. His smile was big and bright, enough to better the day of every kid on the playground. Though we had only exchanged a few words up until this point, I could tell that Jungkook was something special. Past his outward shyness was this sort of glow–charisma, maybe–that made me want to be his friend. 

I could tell that Jungkook was growing bored of the swings, and I was too. There was a small crowd of girls standing in front of the swingset with their arms crossed impatiently, waiting for us to leave. So Jungkook hopped off and headed toward the yellow spiral slide. I followed, watching over my shoulder as the girls hounded the swings that we abandoned. Jungkook climbed up the ladder onto the high wooden platform. He rested an arm on the guardrail and held his opposite hand over his brow as if he were surveying the horizon. 

"Climb onboard, matey." He spoke with a rugged voice.

"Aye, captain." I saluted him as I boarded the ship as well.

We played like this for a while, scouting for land and fighting off other pirate crews. We were the toughest pirates of all the seven seas. We fought Davy Jones and won, forcing the remaining members of his crew to work for us. Nothing could touch us. Nothing could get in our way. We were unstoppable.

Jungkook's fingers were curled in front of his eye to make a spyglass. He looked left and right repeatedly until he stopped somewhere in the middle, rotating his wrists to zoom in. His lips parted as he let out a gasp. Then, he smiled and pointed straight ahead.

"Land ho!" He cried.

He leapt off the ledge, landing with a thud on his feet in a squatted position. He drew an X in the dirt and took a leaf from the ground, a treasure map, trailing a finger across its cool, smooth surface. After scrutinizing the map, he placed it on the ground and crossed his arms in deep thought. I carefully climbed down to meet him and read the leaf map for myself.

"Hmm..." I murmured. "I think the treasure is buried on the other side of the beach."

So we ran a lap around the playground and reached the X for real. Jungkook knelt down and began to dig, and I followed his actions. Our fingernails became black, but we didn't mind. When our arms began to burn and we could dig no more, we finally found the treasure.

I let my rear fall back onto my heels as Jungkook lifted a single worm from the hole. He let out a satisfied "aha!" as it dangled from his fingertips. He offered it to me, so I cupped my palms and let the worm fall into them. I watched it toss and turn slowly as Jungkook climbed back up the ladder.

"That treasure's worth a lot of money." He stood tall. "Let's get going. We shouldn't stay on this island for too long."

"Aye," I nodded. "I'll stow the treasure and then I'll ready the sails."

After I got back onto the ship, I placed the worm in the corner of the platform attached to the slide. Then, my fingers curled around the air as I tugged at the ropes. The white sails began to spread, a bright sheet of white against the blue sky and the blue sea. Once again, the ship set off to sea, gliding through the waves as if it were flying.

Jungkook's pirate persona dissipated as a woman's voice called him from afar. He sighed, brushing his hands together to remove any leftover dirt and hesitantly returned to the ground. I looked up at the sky and realized how much time had passed. I was seeing an intense blend of blue, pink, and orange behind the gradually descending sun.

"I gotta go now." His head dropped sadly.

"It's okay." I assured him. "We'll play again sometime, right?"

His eyes shot upward, examining me with hope. "Yeah! Bye Jimin!"

"Bye Jungkook!" I waved.

Quickly, he pivoted and ran back to me. "Wait, are we friends now?"

I chuckled. "Yes, we're friends."

"Yay! Bye again!" And he was gone.

Soon I was alone on the playground, with only my thoughts and the chirping crickets to keep me company. I smiled to myself, glad that I made a new friend. Jungkook added depth to what otherwise felt like a life of blankness. In the short time that we spent together that day, I had already learned so much about him as well as myself. To me, that was what friendship was supposed to be: a learning experience for everyone.

 

 

The next week, Jungkook invited me to his house. It was a white colonial with a red brick path leading up to the front door. I pressed one finger to the doorbell, and then I clasped my hands behind my back as I waited for someone to answer. After a few moments, I heard footsteps from inside, and then I saw Jungkook's fair face through the distorted glass. There was a click, and then the door opened.

He grinned widely, stepping aside to let me in. I scanned my surroundings, silently admiring the simplistic but cozy interior design. After taking off my shoes, I followed him downstairs to the basement. Awe mixed with a hint of jealousy spread across my face when I saw Jungkook's Lego battleship set, still in the box and practically untouched. 

"You want to try to make this?" He asked.

I nodded eagerly. "Yes, please."

"I just got it for my birthday, but I wanted to wait to build it." He explained as he nimbly unveiled the contents of the box. "It looked too hard for only me, and now that we're friends, maybe you can help me."

"That sounds great!" I agreed wholeheartedly.

I reached for the manual, opening to the first page. After opening the several bags of Legos, I gathered the appropriate pieces needed for the first step. Jungkook listened as I directed him with words that weren't present in the strictly visual guide. It started off a bit slow, but then the assembly became almost alarmingly fast and easy.

A little over an hour passed, and we finally finished the Lego battleship. It came together just in time, since my back was beginning to ache and my eyes were hurting from staring down toward the floor for so long. It was a majestic black and gray replica, a child's lucid interpretation of the real thing. Jungkook and I high-fived and sat up tall, proud of our valiant efforts.

He groaned, also sore from sitting for a prolonged period of time, and arched his back in various directions to loosen up. I moved my head from side to side and bent my knuckles backwards, listening to the cracking in my neck and hands. Jungkook helped me stand up, but I nearly fell over. My feet were tingling with numbness, and I tried desperately to shake out my discomfort. I continued to hobble around the room, making Jungkook laugh. Eventually, the static feeling in my toes faded away and I was able to walk normally again.

"Want to play in the driveway?" He suggested. "Do you like basketball?"

"I love basketball!" I exclaimed. "I play on a team."

"What's it called?" His lips parted, intrigued.

My eyes floated upward dreamily as I recalled my first three-pointer. "The Black Knights."

"That's awesome." He opened the garage door and walked outside, grabbing the ball on the way. "Maybe I'll play too when I'm bigger."

That "maybe" should have been a "definitely" or a "certainly." Jungkook was indeed very special. He seemed to have a natural talent for mastering things with ease. He had the height, the skill, and the passion to be a basketball player. Maybe one day he would be a professional and I'd see him in the American March Madness tournament. Or maybe he'd master some other sport, like soccer or baseball. No matter where he'd end up in life, Jungkook would be tough to bring down. In fact, even I had trouble scoring a point against him. He kept blocking my shots with no issue whatsoever and knew how to wrestle the ball out of my possession. Meanwhile, every time I tried to block him and gain the upper hand, I would give myself a foul.

"You've never played basketball ever, and you're this good?" I breathed hard and wiped the sweat from my brow, tired from all my failed attempts to bypass him.

Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck humbly. "I sometimes watch games with my dad."

I crossed my arms, deepy impressed. "'Sometimes?' Boy, you learn quickly. Really quickly."

The final score was too humiliating for me to reveal. Long story short, I am a disgrace to all basketball players around the world.

We felt our stomachs rumble and we simultaneously grabbed at them in surprise. Man, I was so hungry and I didn't even realize it beforehand. Jungkook led me inside and upstairs to the kitchen, where his mom fixed us a plate of ham and cheese kimbap to share. The warm, creamy cheese, the salty tenderness of the ham, the sweetness of the rice, and the crunchiness of the roasted seaweed were a combination of sheer perfection. I told myself that if I had a cloning machine, I would make an endless supply of ham and cheese kimbap because they were that delicious.

Sadly, it was getting late, and it was time for me to leave. I said my goodbyes to Jungkook and thanked him for inviting me to his house. We promised each other that we would hang out again sometime, and that we would build even cooler Lego creations. I silently pledged to beat Jungkook in basketball one day. Then, I waved and walked out the door and down the brick path.

We did manage to keep our promises. I came over quite often and built Lego houses and villages and rockets. For Christmas, Jungkook got a GameCube, and we played Mario Kart: Double Dash after we grew tired and cold from the snow, with our hot chocolates by our feet. Jungkook, being the master of all, destroyed me as every character. There were times when I thought that I would win for once, but then a blue shell would knock Waluigi back and he'd wail his signature "waaah." Once it got warm again, we'd go to the park and play on the playground or on the courts.

As we spent more time with one another, we grew closer. We knew each other's quirks, likes and dislikes, and favorite everything. Jungkook was reliable, kind, and friendly. He was the type of person that everyone wanted to befriend. If the teacher called for reading time with a partner, all of his classmates would probably flock to him. Because of that, I wanted Jungkook to be my friend for a long time.

But our innocent little friendship didn't stay perfect.

 

 

As time continued to pass, we began to develop a greater variety of interests. We became busier, and consequently, we saw each other less often. Our frequent playdates began to occur every other week, and then once a month. Soon we didn't hang out at all. Sometimes I would see him on the playground or in the neighborhood, but it felt like he was avoiding me. He never answered my calls and said nothing more but a polite "hello" if we ever crossed paths. Our only interactions were our occasional eye contact.

He had to have a reason. We were such good friends. He wouldn't have just ditched me. He was better than that.

I heard that when his grandpa had passed away, he was having a hard time dealing with it. Most seven year-olds couldn't even grasp the concept of death to its fullest, but he was mature and understood it completely. It explained why he became so quiet and withdrawn. There was a tension between his physical state of being a child and his more adultlike conscience.

And that was only the beginning.

Jungkook was a bright and gifted individual, and so later in his life he was placed on an accelerated academic path... a very accelerated path. He had little free time outsie of his mountains of homework, soccer practice, and piano lessons. It got even worse for him when he discovered his love for dancing. His already barely existent downtime was stolen away by long nights in the city, honing his dancing skills in the studio for hours on end.

He looked dead tired, ghostly pale, and frighteningly skinny. His eyeballs were glazed over and appeared as if they would spill over the dark circles beneath them. His eyes in general were just dull and empty. His shirt looked alarmingly bulky on him, and his pants were beginning to hang low on his hips. His head was becoming disproportionate to his shrinking frame.

He was merely ten years old. No kid should have to have been subject to the immense pressure that he had to endure. I wanted to reach out to him, put my hand on his shoulder, and tell him that if he could push through it then everything would work out okay. But I couldn't be there for him when he needed someone.

The time that he should have spent playing outside and being a normal kid died away. While his peers were making friends, he was stuck inside his bedroom or the dance studio in the city. He dealt with his duties in silence, and took it all with a smile, but it was obvious that he was absolutely miserable.

It hurts me inside that he was forced to grow up at such a young age.

He became a jaded teen and fell into a bout of depression. He slept even less, and sometimes, not at all. He barely ate, to the extent that his ribs protruded grotesquely from his flesh. When I did see him, it was very difficult for me to look at him. But still, I couldn't be there to support him through his troubles.

It took two years for him to recover, which made him one of the luckier ones.

At least his mentality improved at all.

Jungkook's dancing was notorious, and he was immediately labeled a child prodigy in the art of performance. He signed with a record label–I believe it was called Big Hit Entertainment–and began to pursue a dream of making music. I was proud of him, really, but I couldn't help but feel left behind.

I knew that I had to accept the fact that as people grow older, they discover different sides to themselves and their interests change. That was called maturity, the process of becoming an adult physically, mentally, and emotionally. Jungkook was simply living through the transition, and I guess I was one of the things that he had to abandon. 

The man that Jungkook was becoming was vastly different from the boy of the past. It hurt to see the boy leave, but it was an inevitable part of life. We come and we go. We live and we die. 

The Jungkook I once knew and cherished had been killed.

The Jungkook I saw now had been born.

This was the birth of one life at the cost of another.

This was the transition from childhood to adulthood.

Time stops for no one.

Time is cruel indeed.

I let my head fall back as my body began to crumble away with the ruins of innocence.

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Comments

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Philosophies
#1
Chapter 2: The story was sad, the explanation was even sadder. But this was beautiful, thanks for writing it!
catytio
#2
Chapter 2: This was so good and sad at the same time. I hate you for making me feel like this
catytio
#3
Still waiting for this