I don't know what I wrote. What the hell is this. Enjoy anyway. Because feels.

6,540 words

Marriage was a thought kids pondered with little understanding, as it was only something adults did one day, with little awareness behind the symbolism of it all. As a child, Sehun had decided he would marry his best friend Baekhyun, because he loved him. They played together every day, even with the two year age difference, got along tremendously. Two peas in a pod, they were.  

In middle school, when Sehun finally understood the meaning of marriage and love, he swore he really would marry Baekhyun. Of course he never vocalized this vow, because even though Baekhyun was his best friend in the entire world and knew everything about him, including his uality, Sehun just couldn't bring himself to tell Baekhyun this. Not yet anyway.  

Realizing he loved Baekhyun with his entire being came as no big shock for him. He'd loved him always, and he'd accepting these feelings as unchangeable and apart of him.  

These feelings never went away throughout high school and college. Sehun continued loving Baekhyun when his face broke out with bad acne and smelled bad after exercise. He loved him despite his loud opinions and annoying singing in Sehun's ears, and even when he'd put laxatives in Sehun's food as a prank.  

Worst of all, Sehun continued loving him when Baekhyun had gotten himself a girlfriend.  

It was difficult watching Baekhyun share something special with someone other than him and texting girls during their conversations together. It got especially hard when both friends moved in together upon entering university, when Baekhyun's girlfriend at the time came to visit. It only worsened when Sehun had walked into the kitchen one morning seeing the couple share morning kisses in front of the coffee pot.  

Sehun despaired at the thought of knowing he'd never share a happy ever after with his best friend. A shame really, it would have been a beautiful fairytale. He fantasized confessing his feelings to the other, bearing his soul and taking Baekhyun away where they could live happily together, it didn't matter where. Sehun would have made a good prince.  

After college, Baekhyun had met a nice girl named Taeyeon. She was a little older than him, a mature woman, and gorgeous. Sehun realized much sooner than Baekhyun that she was perfect for him. She finished Baekhyun's thoughts, she was compassionate, and could read Baekhyun like an open book. Soon things weren't just Sehun and Baekhyun, the unbeatable duo; they had become Sehun and BaekYeon. Sehun came up with the nickname.  

It was only a matter of time when Baekhyun would come to him asking Sehun to be the best man. Sehun knew it would be coming soon, within the next year of meeting her. Baekhyun was a romantic, when he found his soul mate, he'd do everything to ensure she was his and they'd live together forever.  

In a depression, Sehun knew time was running out and soon he'd be alone.  

Over the course of three quick months, Sehun became withdrawn. He usually came up with excuses to skip weekend outings and best friend shenanigans. Sehun listened through the walls, eavesdropping on the couple's phone conversations. Sehun barely spoke in the mornings when the two friends were home at the same time, and then he'd go to bed quickly muttering that he was tired.  

Sehun became so withdrawn he'd almost forgotten they were best friends, and that Baekhyun could tell when there was something wrong.  

It was one Saturday evening when Baekhyun went out for an hour, leaving Sehun in their apartment alone in the darkness and silence. Sehun usually read his books or watched Netflix, but this time he'd lied in bed crying in self-pity. He just wanted to feel bad for himself.  

He never noticed the keys clanging and the front door creaking open. He'd only realized he wasn't alone when familiar arms wrapped around him and a soft hand petting his hair.  

"Why is my Sehunnie crying?" Baekhyun cooed sympathetically, sitting on the bed and shifting Sehun so that his head was resting on Baekhyun's thigh. 

Sehun trembled as wiped his tears, shaking his head in refusal.  

Baekhyun sighed before lifting a plastic bag up and setting in by Sehun. "I bought your favorite cookies," he said, revealing the treat with that smile Sehun liked so much. 

Sehun sniffled again. It just wasn't fair.  

"Thanks," Sehun mumbled, breaking the casing before nibbling on a chocolate cookie.  

Baekhyun watched in satisfaction as Sehun ate his present. "Mind telling me what's got you down?" 

Sehun shook his head once more.  

Baekhyun frowned, and pushed a fallen hair out of Sehun's face, sending butterflies out of control in the man's stomach. "Is it so bad that you can't tell your best friend what's troubling you?" he asked, disappointed leaking into his voice. "You know you can tell me anything." 

Sehun nodded.  

"We've known each other since we were boys. I remember other kids in my grade would ask me if you were bothering me, being a little tag-along, but I told them you were my little brother because that's what you were. Are, even if not by blood. You're probably the most important person in my life and I want nothing bad to happen to you. Sehun, I'm worried about you." 

"Is this your way of giving me an intervention?" Sehun questioned in a raspy voice.  

Baekhyun shrugged. "In a sense, I guess. You've just become so...closed off? I barely see you anymore and we live in the same apartment." 

"You want to know why I'm like this." 

Baekhyun nodded, and for the first time that day, Sehun looked him in the eye and noticed the worry, the concerned expression staring back at him.  

"Remember when we were kids and I broke my foot falling out of that tree?" Sehun asked, sitting up and watching the moon beginning to shine in through the window.  

Baekhyun nodded, smiling. "Yeah. I told you not to climb so high, but nope, you little punk. You wanted to show off." 

Sehun chuckled at the memory. "Yeah I was an idiot." 

"You were crying a lot, I thought you'd pass out." 

"You made me get on your back and you carried me back home. Took nearly an hour and I know for certain I was taller than you and maybe heavier, but you did it anyway." 

Baekhyun threw an arm over Sehun's shoulders, pulling the younger close. "Of course. And I'd do it again, too." 

"I also remember that time in high school when you danced with me in the hallway because I was sad," Sehun continued, tears starting to prick at his eyes from the fond memories.  

Baekhyun actually laughed at that. "Yeah, I remember that too! Wasn't it because some guys were making fun of you for being in dance classes?" 

"Yeah. Said dance should be for girls. They didn't even know what type of dance I did." 

"And I wanted to show them you were a fantastic dancer, so I dragged you around the hallway singing some slow song. I realize now by forcing your movements, it probably looked awkward and stupid, but it was fun anyway," Baekhyun reminisced, a smile lighting up his face.  

Sehun looked to him with such fondness and with much affection, that he didn't notice tears were spilling over until Baekhyun was wiping them away.  

"Sehun..." 

"You were always there for me," Sehun sobbed, unable to control him emotions anymore. He couldn't do it, keeping everything a secret like this. He'd gone on like this for a long time, and now he didn't want to.  

It was final chance.  

"Sehun, no matter what, I'm here for you always--" 

"Hyung, I love you." 

For a moment, and very important moment, time stopped and Sehun didn't breathe. He didn't look at Baekhyun, only staring at the moon shining brightly. 

"I love you too, Sehun," Baekhyun responded casually, just like any other time he'd told Sehun he loved him. A brotherly affection.  

And Sehun refused it this time.  

"No," he exhaled defeated. "Not like that, hyung."  

Baekhyun frowned, clearly not understanding. "Then do you mind explaining?" 

Sehun was chewing on his lip, a nervous habit of him, and he grimaced at the metallically taste of blood on his tongue.  

"Baekhyun, I...I love you. And I have for a long time, I don't even know when for sure. I just knew I did and I've lived with it all these years, but I just...," Sehun swallowed the nerves building up in his throat. "I wanted you to know. I needed to tell you." 

Baekhyun didn't say anything, and it was now apparent that he now understood. And what killed Sehun was that he was silent, not giving some sort of reaction.  

Nearly two decades of friendship had been thrown on the line, and Sehun, with a sickening realization, wished he could take back everything he'd just confessed.  

Sehun watched the clock, noting each tick of the changing numbers in the awkward silence between them both. When Baekhyun finally spoke, it had been ten minutes; it had been the longest ten minutes of his life.  

"Sehun, I'm going to marry Taeyeon," Baekhyun said with a hard voice, and making Sehun's stomach turn over, he pulled out a small black box from his back pocket. "I haven't asked her yet, but I'm planning to tomorrow. I'm sure now you saw this coming." 

Sehun nodded, there was nothing he could say.  

"Sehun, you're my best friend in the entire world. I want you to be my best man." 

A tear trailed down Sehun's cheek and it felt like it burned the entire way before falling off his chin along with every shard of hope he had left. He didn't know what to say, he couldn't even say anything. Instead, he nodded silently, knowing Baekhyun was watching him.  

"I'm sorry I can't return your feelings," Baekhyun continued, and Sehun wondered if he truly was remorseful.  

Baekhyun got off the bed and walked out of the room, leaving Sehun alone to his hurricane of emotions. Heartache was inevitable, for any human being. Everyone experienced it, but Sehun just wished he was immune to it.  

No one is immune.  

When he'd thought he possessed no more tears to shed, a fresh wave of them poured from Sehun's eyes as he cried silently, regretting everything that had just happened. The room was pitch black, but Sehun was sure the space in his heart was darker than that.  

The following morning was awkward to say the least, with Baekhyun barely acknowledging his presence as he fried eggs on the stove. Sehun grabbed plates for the both of them and filled two glasses with orange juice, just like every Sunday morning.  

They ate in silence, Sehun reading the newspaper comics and Baekhyun looking anywhere that wasn't in Sehun's direction. When they'd both finished eating and Baekhyun had thought about what he'd wanted to say, Baekhyun cleared his throat, catching Sehun's attention. 

"Um, about last night," Baekhyun started, and Sehun knew right away what the other wanted. "I'm serious about the best man thing, because you're important and I...love you," he said hesitantly. "I just...want us to move on from...I want us to remain friends--God, I sound like an . Sehun, let's forget everything last night, okay?" 

Sehun had put on his big boy pants that morning, and answered with what little dignity he had left. "I don't know what you're talking about, hyung. Everything is the same it always was. And yes, I'll be your best man." 

Every word stung to say, and left a foul taste in his mouth, but nonetheless, he did it.  

Baekhyun blinked in surprise, a few times actually. He looked at Sehun, he knew he was putting on a brave face and he felt like . He didn't know what Sehun saw in him, he was a douchebag. And then Sehun smiled at him, and he only felt more guilt. 

"...That's great," Baekhyun finally said. "This is really fantastic. You're the best, Sehun." 

Any other day Sehun would've been thrilled to hear that, but today was not that day. Sehun just wanted to disappear.  

Baekhyun didn't return that night, probably celebrating with Taeyeon in the privacy of her own apartment, which they'd decided would be Baekhyun's home as well in the next couple of weeks. The next coming days when there was time to spare, Baekhyun was busy packing with help from Sehun, and when the deadline came, Baekhyun was saying goodbye to Sehun.  

"Don't worry, we'll still see each other. Every weekend, you understand, Hun?" Baekhyun ordered, pointing a finger in Sehun's face in warning, which Sehun caved and agreed, because there was no way he could go so long without being around his best friend.  

"Understood, hyung. Besides, I have best man duties, right? Whatever those are...." 

"Doing everything I say," Baekhyun finished, a smirk making its way on his face. The two took a moment, not saying a word before embracing one another in a hug. "You're the bestest best friend in the world, Hun." 

Sehun had to force the smile, before answering in a whisper, "You, too." 

Over the next five months, Sehun lived alone. Aside from work and meeting Baekhyun for "best man stuff", Sehun was reclusive, never speaking to anyone. He'd received calls from his other friends, which he felt a little awkward with anyway because they were actually Baekhyun's friends, asking to meet up at a bar or somewhere, but he'd declined each offer.  

Sehun didn't care for the silence. He missed the banging of pans in the morning and the way Baekhyun sang in the shower. He missed Baekhyun's muttering when he was watching a television show and random outbursts when he was bored. Sehun had found a towel Baekhyun usually used after showers left behind, and while berating himself for being acting creepy, Sehun pressed the cloth to his face and breathed in Baekhyun's scent.  

He missed his favorite hyung. Sehun swore he'd never take Baekhyun for granted, yet it feels he did just that. He felt regretful. Maybe if Sehun had the confidence to confess back in middle school, then maybe he would have had a chance with Baekhyun. Maybe Baekhyun would have accepted his confession and give a relationship a try.  

Sehun threw himself dramatically on the bed and cuddled his pillow. As much as he hoped and dreamed, Baekhyun wouldn't have given in. He cherished their friendship for what it was and he wasn't gay or bi or whatever. Besides, it doesn't even matter. He was engaged now. 

God that sounded bizarre. Baekhyun was engaged to a pretty girl and they'd have pretty children and live a pretty life together.  

Sehun was insanely jealous. Jealous of reaching such a milestone. He wanted the happiness Baekhyun had.  

It wasn't fair. Often, Sehun would whine to himself that it just simply wasn't fair!   

Angry, Sehun threw the pillow across the room and yanked the covers over his head, wondering if he wished hard enough he'd disappear from the universe all together.  

There was one night, Sehun was screaming. Anger pumped through him because why couldn’t it be him?! Why couldn’t Baekhyun love him instead of Taeyeon?! What made Taeyeon so special anyway, she was just a girl! Baekhyun had known Sehun his entire life! What did Taeyeon have that he didn’t?!

Sehun quickly shut himself up because he knew the answer. It wasn’t a matter of what he had or what he didn’t have, the outcome would be the same. It was simply a matter of who he was, who Baekhyun was, and who Taeyeon was.

In reality, that stung even more.

It was a couple of weeks later when Baekhyun called him. He sounded cheerful. "Sehun!" Baekhyun exclaimed excitedly, the chipper sound made Sehun swell with satisfaction. "You and I are going shopping this weekend! We need suits." 

Sehun exhaled slowly. He wasn't keen on shopping to begin with, not to mention for clothing. "I was going to rent mine." 

"That's fine. Nonetheless, we still need to try them on and such. I'll text you the address of the parlor, then afterwards we'll grab lunch." 

Sehun smiled, "Bribing me with food?" 

"It's working, isn't it?" 

"You know me too well. Don't worry, I won't ditch on you." 

"You better not. See ya, Hun." 

For some reason, the nickname he loved was suffocating.  

They'd spent a good few hours trying on a couple racks of suits. Sehun had seen Baekhyun well-dressed before, for school dances and graduation ceremonies, but he'd never look so handsome in a suit.  

"What about this one?" Baekhyun asked, fussing with the blue bowtie in the mirror. Sehun threw on the jacket of his own suit before looking over to the groom, and being at a loss for words. 

Baekhyun looked over, wondering why Sehun wasn't saying anything, and remained silent after seeing the look on Sehun's face. The sheer look of adoration glistening in his friend's eyes kept him silent, patiently waiting for the critique.  

The suit fit Baekhyun nicely, the material having a snug fit on his waist and shoulders. It was a very flattering outfit on the man, some might say, but Sehun thought it was Baekhyun that made the suit.  

"You could be a model, hyung," Sehun said with sincerity.  

Baekhyun chuckled before tugging on the sleeve of the jacket. "So it looks good?" 

"Anything would look good on you." 

Baekhyun shrugged, not sure which suit he should pick. Too many decisions. He gave a once over on Sehun's attire and gave his friend a thumbs up. "You're a dashing man, Oh Sehun." 

Reaction from the ego booster, Sehun straightened and crossed his arms like a rich man. "I'm one of a kind." 

"Modest as ever," Baekhyun teased sarcastically, rolling his eyes before returning to the dressing room.  

Sehun smiled wider than he had in a while. He'd missed their joking. 

As days went by, the big day drew nearer. Sehun had helped with a lot with the planning, finding a band which ended up being a group of their college buddies, and organizing the bachelor party. That part wasn't very hard, Baekhyun had already insisted the two of them along with a select few others all go to a quaint bar on the other side of town and just hang out. Baekhyun had specifically told Sehun if he planned any surprises, he'd skin him alive.  

Everything was going smoothly, except for Sehun's speech which he should've written ages ago. Talking about the many impeccable qualities Baekhyun possessed wasn't the difficult part and neither was coming up with some good stories to share nor reasons why Baekhyun would be a great husband, it was just wrapping it all together without making it blaringly obvious to the world of his one-sided love.  

That and public speaking wasn't his forte. He'd trip up for sure, stumbling over words and forgetting to breathe, maybe forgetting the reason they were gathered in the first placed. Just thinking of all the possible things that could go wrong was enough to give him a panic attack.  

Sehun procrastinated. It was something he was fond of doing, but he did it anyway. A couple more weeks came and went at the blink of an eye and soon enough they were doing the rehearsal. It went smoothly as expected, no hitches other than pacing footsteps and figuring out where to stand. Sehun didn't rehearse his speech, he didn't have one to begin with. It was a simple night and everyone got a lot of rest because the following night was Baekhyun's bachelor party.  

The two rode in a car with a friend from high school, Chanyeol, and two friends from college, Luhan and Minseok. Sehun felt bad because he hadn't seen them in a while, which was mostly Sehun's fault for being so depressed and reclusive. It was good seeing them now though, even though he wasn't sharing much conversation. Just listening to everyone else.  

The bar was enjoyable. It wasn't overly crowded and the scene was relaxed. Sehun wondered, because Baekhyun was more of a partier, if this was what Baekhyun really wanted or if he was settling for this because he knew Sehun would try to leave early if they'd gone to a club.  

Sehun sat at the bar as he watched Baekhyun and the others play pool. He'd laughed a lot and needed a drink, and as a result, was relaxing with a drink in his hand.  

"Not playing with your friends?" a velvety voice asked him, and Sehun looked over the bar to see a tall, tanned man with a cat-like grin staring back at him. 

Sehun felt his mouth go dry, and took a swig, letting the alcohol run down his throat with a mild burn. "Nah, I'm having a drink." 

"I can see that." 

What the hell was wrong with him? Not him, the bartender, but him himself. He couldn't take his eyes off the man, just couldn't stop wanting to look. He was definitely easy on the eyes. This man was undeniably attractive, and he didn't need to be into guys to see it.  

"I go by Kai here," the man introduced himself, leaning forward against the countertop, and Sehun caught the scent of his musk. "You can call me Jongin if you'd like though."  

"H-Hi," Sehun stammered--crap, way to make a fool of yourself--and forcing his eyes to look at the bartender's and not at his collarbone which was shamelessly exposed by the top two buttons not being, well buttoned. "I'm Sehun." 

"Pleased to meet you. I reckon you’re out celebrating something?" Kai/Jongin asked, observing the group by the game table. "Just observing by the amount of laughing and back-patting, that something good has happened." 

"Baekhyun, the guy in the red shirt, is getting married tomorrow," Sehun answered, looking over his shoulder as his best friend enjoying himself. "I'm the best man." 

"Ah, well good for him! I'm guessing this is the bachelor party?" 

Sehun shrugged. "More or less." 

Jongin--Sehun thought the name suited the man better--looked back at Sehun. "Well, Best Man, shouldn't you be over there celebrating with them?" 

They were simply talking, yet Sehun wanted felt himself getting worked up by just the sound of his voice. It unnerved him, mainly for the reason that Sehun realized he was actually feeling attraction towards someone other than Baekhyun. That was insane.  

Sehun gulped nervously. "I'm not one to socialize much," he muttered. "He's having a good time anyway. It's alright if I take a break." 

"You ain't seeing me complaining," Jongin laughed. "It's enjoyable over here, too." 

Sehun was mesmerized. How was it possibly to be so absorbed in someone he'd only just met? Jongin must have noticed he was staring because then he asked, "Is there something on my face, Sehun-ssi?" 

Sehun shook his head, flustered. , he really was making a fool of himself.  

"Um, no. You're face looks great. I mean, nothing on it. Clean." 

Jongin stared back at him with a blank expression and Sehun could feel his own heating up, figuring he looked like a tomato by now.  

It was only a moment later when Jongin busted out laughing, whacking the countertop with his hand. "You're face! You looked so awkward and freaked out! That was adorable!" 

That did not help Sehun's situation with the redness. "Don't see anythin' funny about it," he mumbled, feeling so embarrassed.  

Jongin chuckled again after he caught his breath. "I'm sorry," he apologized, a wide grin plastered on his face. "Just heckling ya. I do that." 

Sehun wiped his hands across his face in exasperation. He wasn't sure how he'd make it through the night with his heart palpitating like it was.  

"Ask me something," Jongin suggested. "Since you're here with me and not with your friends." 

Was Sehun a bad person for enjoying himself here more than being with the others? 

"Um...well," Sehun started, and blurted the first thing that came to head. "Are you committed?" There was a reason Sehun didn't converse with others and always kept his mouth shut. "Sorry, do you have a girlfriend, is what I meant." 

Jongin made a face. "Nah, not really my thing." 

Oh, that was interesting.  

"No girlfriend? So...perhaps a boyfriend?" Sehun pressed, suddenly feeling brave. What the hell was he doing? 

Except Sehun was taken off guard by the disgusted contortion of Jongin's face. "Um, no." 

, mission abort.  

"Er, s-sorry, that was rude of me," Sehun apologized immediately. "I shouldn't have assumed. I don't usually as personal questions--" 

"Nor should you." 

"Yeah, really sorry about that," Sehun said again and began sliding off the stool he was sitting on. "I'll leave now, sorry." 

Then Jongin stopped him, grabbing Sehun's wrist across the bar to prevent Sehun from leaving.  

"Jesus! Sorry, I didn't mean to make you flustered like that," Jongin suddenly said, and Sehun was extremely confused at this point. "Dude, I was only joking again. Probably not a good joke, I realize now. Honestly, I am not a homophobic ." 

Sehun sat on the stool again and yanked his wrist from Jongin's grip, getting quick relief from the alarming tingling sensation from the touch. "Are you bipolar or something?" Sehun growled at the bartender.  

Jongin smiled apologetically, giving Sehun a shining look with his eyes that really reminded Sehun of a kitten. "No, I'm not. And neither do I have a boyfriend, for the record. Not that I have an issue with that sort of thing." 

Sehun sighed in relief, relief from numerous things at this point, and leaned his elbows on the countertop. "You're killing me." 

"Why is that?" 

"No reason. So you're not committed. That's fine." 

Sehun definitely caught the smirk Jongin was giving him.  

"Hm?" 

"Huh?" Sehun looked away, feeling awkward again. He at this. "Nothing. Just, that's fine. Quite fine." 

"Well, what about you, Sehun-ssi?" Jongin then questioned him. "Do you have a significant other?" 

Sehun shook his head, before moving his head to look over his shoulder but stopped himself. Don't do it, he chanted in his head. No need to torment himself further.  

Unfortunately, Jongin caught the motion and quickly understood. "Ah I see. You're interested in one of those guys, but can't have?" 

Sehun hung his head low, cursing himself for being an open book.  

Jongin pressed further, because he wasn't the type to let things go easily. "Say, Best Man, is it the groom?" 

Sehun lifted his head to stare back rather sullenly. "I'm pathetic, aren't I?" 

Jongin laid his hand over Sehun's, sympathizing with the other. "No. It happens. You fall in love and wish for things to be perfect, but there's always something that's gotta  everything up. Does he know?" 

"I told him a while back. Then he asked me to be his best man." 

Jongin's jaw fell and his eyes widened. ", that burns! I'm sorry for bashing your crush, but damn, that is a douche move." 

Sehun couldn't disagree with him, because it was the truth. "I want tomorrow to be over with already." 

Jongin turned around and grabbed a shot glass and another bottle of liquor. "Sehun, you deserve a stronger drink." 

Sehun huffed, unbelievable. "Do you want me to puke my guts out during my speech?" 

"Well, that would be an accurate representation of the groom, wouldn't it?"  

Sehun had to laugh at that one. Oddly, it was rather nice to have someone behave like this with him about the sensitive topic, and had Sehun been rejected by any other man, then maybe Baekhyun would have consoled him this way.  

Sehun downed the glass served, and then another for good measure.  

"Those are on the house," Jongin said, smiling kindly.  

Sehun refused, "No way! I gotta pay you for that." 

"I'll take care of it," Jongin insisted, "Besides you needed that. Especially since your friends look ready to go." Sehun turned around after Jongin motioned for him to look, and he saw the friends kneeling and stumbling around like drunkards, except for Minseok who was the designated driver.  

"," Sehun cursed, "Baekhyun's gonna have one hell of a hangover tomorrow." 

"Eh, he can suffer. He deserves it after breaking my new friend's heart." 

Sehun turned to smile back. New friend, huh? He liked that.  

Jongin then handed him a piece of paper with a number scrawled on it. "Call me sometime, alright? I'd like to see you again." 

Sehun pocketed the number, eyes shining. "We'll see." 

The ride home was interesting, and the night was filled with cat-like smiles and melodic laughter.  

The following morning was hectic. The group had crashed at Chanyeol's place, and luckily they were smart enough to make sure their attire and whatnot was there already, because damn their luck, they were running behind schedule. Sehun dumped cold water on Baekhyun, waking him up with a jolt, before shoving him in the shower and laying out their clothes.  

With toast scarfed, coffee downed, and suits thrown on, they rushed to the venue where the ceremony was to be held, and scrambled to get things ready. Flowers were already placed and seating arranged, and as soon as they finished their group photos Sehun remembered-- 

"!" he exclaimed loudly, startling the guys before running off down a hall to get away from them, because goddamn it he forgot to write his goddamn speech! Some best man he was! 

"Sehun!" he heard Baekhyun call out behind him, looking worried. "Dude, what's wrong?" 

Sehun froze. No way could he let Baekhyun know he forgot to write his speech. He was counting on Sehun! 

"A-Ah, n-nothing," Sehun stammered nervously. He could feel his back becoming sticky with sweat. Did he bring deodorant? "J-Just anxious, is all." 

Baekhyun chuckled, no longer as worried. "You know, it's my wedding. I'm pretty sure I'm the one who’s supposed to be nervous here." 

Sehun looked to him with narrowed eyes. "Are you nervous?" 

Baekhyun's smile widened as he shook his head. "Nope, not at all. I'm rather excited actually. In just less than an hour, I'm going to be a married man." 

Sehun clasped his friend's shoulder. "She's a lucky lady to have you." 

"I disagree," Baekhyun argued. "I'm the lucky one." 

Sehun realized at that moment, and surprised actually, that he didn't feel any sort of jealousy. He saw the raw excitement and happiness and joy, and Sehun couldn't feel any sort of contempt. It was weird, being in love with his best friend, and yearning to have him for years, and feeling so happy that Baekhyun was going to spend his life with someone who was worthy of having him.  

Sehun knew he wasn't worthy. Not that there was anything wrong with him, but it was just meant to be this way. He knew that now.  

And he was okay with that. 

He knew what to say during his speech. 

The wedding ceremony was perfect in every meaning of the word. Sehun stood beside his best friend, the rings tucked gently in his pocket, and squeezed Baekhyun's shoulder in support. The piano music played a soft, light melody as Taeyeon walked down the while in a beautiful white, wedding gown escorted by her father, and given away with a tight hug. The entire time everyone was watching the bride, Sehun was watching the groom, watching the way Baekhyun's eyes became wet, but they shined brighter than any sun he'd ever seen. The couple clasped hands, giggling and whispering to one another how beautiful and charming they looked. The officiate gave his speech, and when the time came Sehun pulled out the rings, handing them to the couple. They exchanged rings, exchanged vows, and in a single moment, a beautiful one, they sealed their commitment to one another with a kiss.  

Sehun didn't even look away that time.  

Everyone clapped and cheered as the couple strutted down the aisle and out the doors, Sehun and the rest of the wedding party followed, then Sehun was called to witness the signing of the marriage license.  

"How are you feeling?" Sehun asked the couple, though not needing to by the looks on their faces.  

"Hun! I'm married! Can you believe that?!" Baekhyun nearly shouted before pulling his best friend into a hug, and when they released Taeyeon hugged Sehun.  

"You've been a wonderful help, Sehun," she said, thanking him profusely for everything he'd done of the few months. Sehun said it was his pleasure, even though it really hadn't.  

Weddings used to be weird, in the mindset of child Sehun, but now they were nice. But just nice, so far.  

Sehun left the others went where the wedding reception was to be held, getting their early to avoid having to mingle with the other guests. The room was beautifully decorated. He felt like he'd entered a castle.  

"Nice suit, Best Man." 

Sehun spun around, nearly whacking a centerpiece of one of the tables, only to meet those chocolate eyes, the cat-like smile, and the nice-smelling bartender he hadn't expected to see again so soon.  

"Jongin!" he gasped, pleasantly surprised. "What are you doing here?" 

Jongin smiled and motioned to the bar in the corner. "I'm the bartender. Hired by the bride. Only, I didn't realize that it was that her and that groom's wedding I was hired for. Funny, huh?" 

Sehun nodded, not sure what to say next. "Well, I guess where I'll be spending the rest of my evening." 

Jongin laughed, "Maybe I'll throw in a free drink for you." The way Jongin's eyes were twinkling, Sehun knew there was a catch.  

"If...?" he pressed on knowingly.  

Jongin smirked. "If you can promise me a dance later, when I'm given my break." 

Sehun actually smiled back, a real smile that is. "I'm sure I can fit you in." 

"You better take your seat," Jongin then advised him, noticing the guests filing in along with the newlyweds. "You'll need to give that speech soon, right?" 

"Yeah. I'll catch you in a little bit." 

Sehun liked the way Jongin squeezed his hand before parting ways.  

And finally, after months of agonizing and planning and panic attacks, Sehun stood with the microphone, ready to address the people in the room.  

"Hello, everyone," Sehun started, greeting everyone. Can't go wrong with that.  

"Today, we witnessed the marital joining of two wonderful people, who share something tremendously special." 

Sehun could see Baekhyun and Taeyeon sharing soft spoken words as they look in his direction. He could tell they were already getting bashful.  

He continued on. "Being Baekhyun's best man is such an honor, so is being his best friend, because he's my best friend and I couldn't imagine life without him. I can tell you numerous things that make Baekhyun an honorable man, but if you look over at the couple now, you can see for yourself what type of a person he is because of who he's sitting next to. Taeyeon is a beautiful woman, a very warmhearted person. Baekhyun's lucky to have an amazing woman to love for the rest of his life. I apologize in advance, Taeyeon, for the many hours of loud shower singing you'll have to endure and stray socks in the living room you'll be finding. I've told him countless times those belong in a dresser." 

The audience laughed and Baekhyun smiled at his bride bashfully.  

"Baekhyun is the type of person who will treat you well, Taeyeon, as I'm sure you know. For the many years I've lived with him, he's always been very considerate to my feelings and while growing up with him, he's helped me overcome many struggles. He's been my rock forever, and now he'll be yours. Don't be afraid to lean on him, he's pretty strong. He carried me home once when I broke my foot and couldn't walk. I wasn't a light child either." 

Baekhyun pointed at Sehun, as if to say 'I remember that.' 

"He's helped me grow as a person. I remember when I came out to him. He never questioned it, only accepted it. He accepted me for who I was, told me he loved me and always would because I was his brother, and then dragged me outside to play basketball. He's been my silent protector through the years, taking care of my banged up knees from dance class, being an idiot with me in the school hallways to show we weren't afraid of people trying to tear us down, and giving me the reassurance I needed to carry on. I won't go into much detail, but he's saved me in many ways." 

Baekhyun was staring at Sehun with a look of understanding, knowing every word his best man spoke was genuine.  

"We've had our ups and downs, like brothers do. There were times I felt disappointment and anger, and at one point I hated him. He did the things he thought were best for me, and I see now, that he was just guiding me. I'm grateful to him for a lot of things." 

I'm grateful I fell in love with you. I'm grateful for the heartache you caused me. I would endure it again. 

"For the past twenty years I've known him, it’s always been just him and I. We were an unbeatable duo. We pulled a lot of pranks, gotten into trouble, caused mischief. That's a part of our lives that we'll fondly look back on. Today, as we sit here in the company of family and friends, we know that a chapter of our life is coming to an end. We're no longer children who think they can take on the neighborhood with their helmets and shin guards strapped on. Today, Baekhyun and Taeyeon are adults, a single unit strong enough to take on the world together. I think we're the special people who are able to witness such a remarkable start." 

Sehun gazed at his best friend, his first love, with such great emotion in his eyes that held a new kind of love for him. 

"Baekhyun, you'll always be my brother and my best friend. Seeing you and Taeyeon exchange vows today made me feel an overwhelming sense of pride and happiness. I've seen you grow from a boy into a man, and I want to thank Taeyeon for everything. She brings a certain light into life that can never be replaced and I'm thankful that you've found someone other than myself you understands you stupid jokes.  

Sehun raised his glass, and everyone in the room followed suit.  

"To the bride and groom." 

Sehun didn't look to the bride and groom, however. He looked to the corner of the room, and the tan bartender staring in awe at him, making his stomach flutter in a special way he didn't think possible.  

"The beginning of a new chapter." 

It may be irrelevant, my feelings of adoration and love, heartbreak and hopelessness, back then. Except for how those emotions shaped me into who I am today. At this time, I fall in love again, and hope blossoms once more from the earth and embraces life with passion.  

Hyung, thank you.