"Yah yoon jinah ! your nose !" 

i was sitting there wearing a white tank crop top , the photoshoot was so simple and neat and natural , i thought they'll make me wear lots of make up and crazy clothes , but who ever picked the concept , i loved his style 

people on sit were so nice and funny even though i know deep inside they don't want me sitting there , they hate the fact that i was picked randomly and got taught for only 4 days , i really hate this job but i somehow want to work hard to prove them wrong , something deep inside me telling me don't let them look down on you  . like that , so we had this photoshoot it ended well , and i wore my clothes again , tied my hair , and waited for the results . 

"yoon jinah-ssi" secretary kim came to me while i was eating in the cafeteria , "you did absolutely AMAZING ! look .." he handed me the ipad and i choked on food "oh my ! .. secretary kim !" i almost cried but i just put my together and acted cool and just smiled like a fool and bowed down . "good job" he patted my shoulder and walked away . 

the next day i walked in everyone was staring at me and whispering i walked to this big screen on the Fashion news channel 

"JJ Fashion had their blast yesterday with the new upcoming goddess Yoon jinah , it had been said that she's the new visual for JJ company , this goddess have became the main talk in social media , social users and mostly boys trended the hashtag #GaurdianAngel and #JJPrincess as a top trending hashtag" 

oh my god" i covered my mouth in shock , they are talking about me on tv , just then my phone rang "JINAH-YA" 

"oh ajeossi !" i held back my happy tears and talked normally actually weren't just happy tears , i was scared and nervous 

"jinah-ya i'm so proud of you i kept crying the whole time , i'm so proud you looked really pretty and stunning just like your mother , i'm sure she'll be proud of you , she is proud and happy i know she's watching" he sounded so happy it made me really relaxed "ajeossi .. thank you" i didn't know what to say then he started talking about eating well and working hard as always thinkin i'm just a kid again .

"JAEJOONG-SSI ! TURN ON THE TV"  said secretary kim while rushing in , then jaejoong turned the tv on high volume

"JJ Fashion having a blast with their new Goddes Yoon jinah" 

Jaejoong stood up from his chair speechless and dumbfounded , looked at secretary kim smiling , jaejoong started shouting and made an air punch "YES YES !" he hugged secretary kim and started jumping like a kid . 

i was walking through the company and saw tae hwan sitting in there reading a news paper , "TAE HWAN-SSI!" i ran to him smiling "YOU WATCHED THE NEWS ?" 

"no .." he coldly replied .. "but .." i had no expression looking at him then he turned the news paper to a page where it had a huge picture of me , then he turned his phone to twitter to my face everywhere "do i really need to watch it ?" he looked at me with a cold look again "ahh .." i just bowed down and ran away before he makes another cold scary look like he'll murder me any sec . 

"yoon jinah-ssi " jaejoong called me from the second floor and pointed to come up so i did , he took me to a room full of producers and stylists and business people who i don't know what they actually do they just look fancy 

"yoon jinah-ssi , now we'll be filling up you profile and bio , and giving you information about yourself" said jaejoong pointing at the screen , i was speechless , information about me ? really ? , "you're a pro model who studied in france , you graduated from fashiona and beauty school , been working in our company for years now to apply for the visual model" jaejoong read from a paper 

"that's a lie !" i rose my voice at him and then he looked at me rising his eyebrow , "shut up" he pointed at me 

"what's your favorite food ?" he asked me and i said "i eat everything" "when do you eat ?" "anytime" .. "why do you eat ?" .. " because i can ?" then everyone got shocked and some of them laughed 

"no you pitiful piece of trash you eat french and italian food only , you like your grandma's home made rice , you never eat after 9 pm , and you diet regularly , you exercise twice a day" he smiled at me but i knew it wasn't a normal smile he was just making fun of me , "why do you want me to lie ?" i looked at him 

"you love fashion , your favorite brands are young hungry free and zara , GQ fashion" he continued talking like i wasn't there "your favorite makeup and skin care brands are etude house and DHC , the face shop sometimes" he walked around the huge table reading this stupid paper full of lies , "you used to live with your mother and father , you're an only child , but you left them for work , and you want to see them but work comes first" before he finish talking i smacked the table and stood up "enough .." i looked at the table "i haven't finished yet" he smiled again and was about to continue but i interrupted him "stop or i'm quitting" they all looked at me as if im a crazy bastard "sadly you can't quit , you signed the contract , we own you now" he showed me the contract , and i sat down dumbfounded and about to go crazy "chill bastard , if you're a cute little mama girl who learned that lying is bad then how about we make it real ?" everyone laughed , he's doing this to make me suffer more , they kept making my profile and correcting stuff while i sat there quietly , watching them create my life "you're a cold ice princess" he came back to his seat and gave me the paper to memorize "remember you'll say this in interviews and on tv , becareful or i'll screw you up" he than stood up "you may be dismissed" and walked away , everyone followed him and i sat there frozen , took out my phone and texted "well mom , i guess i left you for work , forgive me" i sat in that room for and hour realizing the trouble i'm in . 

i made my first interview in the company with a magazine , they asked the same thing , skin care routine , how many hours i sleep , when do i eat , what do i eat 

it's boring , time passed and i went to every interview saying the exact same thing . DHC , i sleep 9 hours daily , yes i exercise twice a day , yes i studied in france

​same thing same thing i'm turning into a robot , i walked to the company today and saw them putting a huge picture of my first photoshoot , very huge you can see it from every corner in the company . i kind of felt something looking at it , not happy not sad , a weird feeling . 

"ya high heel" a voice came from behind and it was tae hwan , we're going to an interview together so get going" i nodded to him and followed him 10 secs after he left 

TV interview this time , i was nervous yet excited so excited , i have my own dressing room , but got bored waiting so i went to tae hwan's room , before i get it he was talking on the phone "please stop it all it's over , there's nothing between us ! if you ruined my career i'll ruin your life !" he sounded scary and mad , a break up  , i walked back to my room and just then they called us in to the set and as we were walking i looked at tae hwan and he actually can put on an act like nothing happened he's having his model serious face , yet smiling to the noonas , "tae hwan-ssi" i called him "are you .. okay ?" his eyes widen he's obviously shocked that i over heard his conversation but he just ignored me and walked up to the set

"today we have the beautiful faces of JJ , Kim taw hwan .. and princess yoon jinah ssi ! " we both smiled i just felt something uncomfortable coming out of tae hwan 

the interviewer just asked us the usual questions and then he just suddenly asked "yoon jinah ssi , i heard that you left your parents for working is it true? " 

i stuttered and words just couldn't come out "y-yes , but they totally understand it they wanted me t-to .." tae hwan was looking at me giving me the don't scre up face "t-hey .. wanted me to .. achieve my dreams" , "oh that's nice , you really worked hard didn't you jinah ssi" i just looked at the interviewer frozen and can't even smile "yeah she worked pretty much hard" tae hwan answered .. "tae hwan ssi , you and jinah seem to be close already how do you feel now that you have a female rival who took your place ?" i looked at the interviewer "took his place ?" i whispered , "haha not at all it's such a great thing to have a princess in the company you know , and plus she's not my rival we're like friends" i suddenly felt relaxed and calm from his answer , finally the interview was over and before we go back to the interview i walked to his dressing room , "tae hwan ssi i owe yoooou ! " i cheerfully came in "get out" he said while fixing his hair 

" , what ?" i got slapped by that answer "i said get out and stop ACTING LIKE YOU'RE MY FRIEND ! YOU ARE ANNOYING AND STUPID AND ISN'T IT OBVIOUS ALREADY THAT I HATE YOU JUST STOP IT AND DON'T SHOW YOUR SELF INFRONT OF ME AGAIN !" he caught his breath and the look in his eyes were on fire , i knew that there's something deep inside him hating me "so you lied ?' i lowered my voice , "media world , get used to it  " he took his bag and walked out , i got slapped again and hurt by all this lying , i took my bag and walked back on foot , didn't feel like seeing them again , the fact that we're in the same van . 

"where's jinah ?" the manager asked tae hwan , "probably doing her make up" they waited for jinah but she didn't come so they went to the company to jaejoon standing in the front doors , "where's jinah ?" jaejoong crossed his arms and looked at the manager and taehwan was looking away mad "we haven't find her sir" the manager bowed down . "oh okay you haven't find her , you're fired " then he pointed at the front door body guards to bring his car 

"that ignorant jerk" he got in and called jinah .. "hello" she answered "YAH !" he yelled . "ah ... jaejoong ssi" she said in a scared tone 

"where are you ?" he asked after trying to calm down .. "ummm .. gangnam street" , "stay there and DON'T MOVE !" 

while jinah was waiting a boy came to her , "aren't you yoon jinah ?" he came closer to her face . "ah yes im-" and before she finished he screamed "YAH  IT'S YOON JINAH SSI !" people started crowding around her taking out their phones hugging her and pulling her from her arms "g-guys" 

i got really scared and nervous every uncomfortable feeling in the world , i wanted to stop time and breath and think . people were everywhere i wanted to cry because first i don't know what should i do and every possible solution i have is impossible . but just then i hand pulled my hand roughly , dark red suit and dark blonde hair , it was jaejoong , body guards started pushing people away , and jaejoong opened the door and pushed me in .

in the car it was so quiet and awkward "do you know now why you should always go with your manager YOU MADE THE COMPANY'S CEO IT SELF COME OUT TO HELP !" he suddely yelled , "i'm sorry" i didn't feel like talking so i just replied like that , "be more careful you stupid fox" he fixed his hair , "WHAT ?" I mean what's with that nickname though ? stupid fox ?! "yes stupid fox you look like a fox and you're stupid ." , "well , i don't care sharp eyes" .. "sharp eyes ? , you're lame" , "yah !" i yelled then he looked away smiling , 

"your schedule today , exercise and and learn french" .. "what ?" jinah rose her eyebrows and looked at him "we're trying to make your profile real cause mama's girl hates lying" jinah felt hurt for him saying that again 

jinah worked hard for a week exercising twice a day , learning and doing what's written on the paper , then leaving for her schedule , barely eating or sleeping properly , interviews , fashion showes , everywhere 

she went to her last interview for the day and it was late at night , jinah was exhausted and tired , "jinah-ssi did you eat ?" the manager asked "no i'll eat later let's just finish this" she went to the interview and they were fixing her hair and putting this and that on her , jinah's head was ringing like crazy a headache , she felt dizzy

i wanted to finish this fast , i walked fast to the set of the interview , sat down and they started shooting , same questions same everything i felt bored of this routine going on and on , deep inside me a big thing deep inside gave up and felt dead already , "so jinah ssi , how does leaving your mom feels ?" .. "what ?" i wasn't sure if i understood him but why is he asking that , "how does it feel ? may i ask you how does it feel losing a parent forever feel like ? fun right ?" my voice started cracking and i wanted to cry , stop asking me this question stop reminding me of that , "jinah ssi i meant your profile says .." i interrupted him "IT SAYS WHAT IT SAYS , LEAVING YOUR PARENTS FEELS LONELY AND PAINFUL AND THE WHOLE WORLD TURNS DARK AND COLD AND YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE IN PAIN EVERYDAY !" I yelled without feeling , "haha jinnah ssi calm down we just .." .. "stop shooting please"i calmed down and they stopped , the manager took me back to the company and yeah as expected jaejoong was waiting with his famous cross arms you'll be scolded standing position in the parking lot 

"well . that was funny" he rose his eyebrow , "i'm sorry" i bowed down and walked past him to go inside but he roughly pulled my arm infront of him "sorry doesn't solve things" he gave me again his famous you're dead to me look , "please stop" i tried to pull my arm put no ceo doesn't allow that , "we gave you a script ! what the hell did you say to them ! are you crazy ! " he yelled at me and his voice made an echo because the parking lot was empty "the script you said you wanted to make it real and you did what's your problem !" i interrupted "you said you'll work on make it real because you didn't want me to lie , you said you'll make it all real" i said looking down "then why can't i see my mom being real ?! why can't i come back for her since i left her ?! you're making me live a horrible lie !" i looked deep at his eyes and pulled my arms "she's dead , show me how can you make that part real" 

jinah walked in , watery eyes , sat down on the nearest chair , "my legs feel numb .." she gave her thighs light punches , just then tae hwan walked by , "yah your .." he was pointing at his nose , "what ?" she looked at him confused , "your nose is bleeding" .. "eh !" she ran to see her reflection anywhere .. her eyes were watery and her nose was bleeding , just then everything went black and the last thing she heard was "YAH YOON JINAH ! SOMEONE COME OVER HERE " .. "yoon jinah !"