rating: PG-15
genre: Tumblr!AU, Fluff, Romance
length: 4,955 words
a/n: Mentions of depression and ual content.

His friends think it’s silly— Apparently, Luhan is too old to be using Tumblr, to be blogging for hours straight and interacting with strangers from other states and countries. He’s heard it countless times from Xiumin and Junmyeon, and Chanyeol gave up after his third comment about it. Luhan and his friends work in an insurance company, though Luhan’s role isn’t as important as the others – just some filing here and there, and the occasional phone call, but majority of the time, he’s sitting at his desk bored and scrolling through his dashboard.

“Don’t you have some filing to do?” Xiumin asks as he passes by Luhan’s cubical. Luhan’s hunched over in his chair, chin nestled in his palm as he holds himself up on his elbow settled on the desk as he reblogs a picture of something soccer related.

“Did it already.”

Luhan’s friends only know of his little addiction to Tumblr, but they don’t know his main reasoning for checking his dashboard so frequently. The little red notification on top indicating a new message always brightens up his mood, a wide smile on his face as he checks it.

He’s been talking to someone lately - a new friend. It started over the mutual fascination with bubble tea, and then they started to talk more, having learned how much they have in common. It took a while for them to introduce themselves to each other with their real names, having only known each other by their Tumblr screen names. The other’s name is Sehun. The boy posts a lot of his selcas as well as his dance videos, and he seems quite popular on the site. Sometimes it baffles Luhan that someone as popular as Sehun is taking the time to talk to him so much. And maybe Luhan has a small crush on the boy— from his pictures, his looks are nothing like he’s ever seen. His dancing impresses him, and the small stomach flashes when he does specific dance moves shows him that he’s pretty slender, yet toned. Luhan shakes his head, trying to rid himself of the thoughts. It’s normal, right? People develop small crushes on pretty people on the Internet all the time—

Right?

They’ve been talking for a little over a month now, but all Luhan knows about him is his name, his face, his dancing skills, and his fascination with bubble tea. He wonders where the boy lives, if he’s working or studying, how old he is…

The red notification signifying one new message has Luhan looking to see if any of his co-workers were around. He bit his lip, clicking on the message.

oshnx94 said: What’s up? I’m bored af.

He laughs to himself quietly. A simple message from him makes him feel all giddy, no matter what he says.

hanluxiao answered: Bored at work. How can I help your boredom, Sehunnie~?

He’s surprised by how quickly he receives the next message— or messages, rather.

oshnx94 said: I wanna do something :c

oshnx94 said: Can you just jump through the computer and come keep me company? ;;

His messages have Luhan’s heart beating a little faster, exhaling a deep breath as he sends his response.

hanluxiao answered: I would if I could… I really would, Sehun-ah.

“Luhan!” He jumps a little, straightening up and closing the Tumblr window, looking over at Junmyeon as he walks up to his cubical.

“Yes?”

“I need you to file all these papers.” He lays a rather large stack of papers on Luhan’s desk, shooting him a wide grin before walking back to his office. Luhan sighs, moving his chair closer so he can begin filing. He really just wants to talk to Sehun some more; he sounded pretty lonely. What if he’s upset about something and has no one to talk to? Nah.. He’s pretty popular from what he’s seen.. he must have many friends.  All these conflicting thoughts continue to run through his head as he files everything. It takes him the rest of his shift to finish, and he’s already checking Tumblr on his phone as he’s walking to his car. His eyes widen at the notification of seven new messages. He’s mentally punching himself because he sees they’re all from Sehun begging for attention. He decides to send him a separate message with an apology.

hanluxiao said: I’m so sorry.. Work got kinda busy for me for the last two hours.. Are you       okay? :<

And now he has to drive home. What if he replies right away but won’t get another answer for the next thirty minutes as he’s going home? But when he’s stepping into his home and checking his phone, there’s nothing in his inbox. He frowns, plopping down on his bed and clicks on Sehun’s screen name, curious about his posts today. With furrowed eyebrows, he scrolls down a little - only two posts today; that’s extremely strange. In a day, Sehun usually makes at least twenty posts: two selcas a day, about ten to twelve text posts, a dance video, and some miscellaneous reblogs. But today, all Luhan sees is an audio reblog and a text post that’s a bit saddening. It has ninety-seven notes, majority of them being replies and reblogs of concern from his “fans”.

            oshnx94:

            Feeling down today.. lonely.. ignored, maybe??? It kinda hurts… ; n ;

Was Luhan part of this? He noticed the post was made an hour after he disappeared from Tumblr. Does Sehun think he was ignoring him? Now he’s worried. Sehun isn’t one to talk about his personal life, but he has mentioned a few times that he’s a bit up and down with his moods and gets depressed sometimes, but Luhan took that as an exaggeration that most people use.

He sent him a few more messages, as if it’d make him check his inbox a little faster. He wishes he had an easier way to contact him sometimes, but he’s been too afraid to ask him.

Sehun doesn’t reply that night.

It’s 9:30AM when Luhan wakes up, and the first thing he does is grab his phone. He ignores the texts and goes straight to Tumblr. From what he’s noticed, Sehun is usually up at this time, from wherever he may be, so he’s not surprised when he sees he has a few new messages.

oshnx94 answered: Yeah, sorry.. I… after you stopped replying, I kinda had a panic attack and forced myself to sleep.. I’m sorry if I worried you ;;

Luhan frowns, sitting up from his bed as guilt washes over him. Maybe he would have been okay if Luhan had replied, but it’s too late now. He clicks on his page to see if there’s anything new. It seems he’s back on his normal blogging schedule, having already posted a selca at this time. He smiles at it though, admiring it for a few long moments. ‘He dyed his hair again,’ he says to himself.

hanluxiao said: Hey.. if my company helps at all, would you like to have another way of communication..? Tumblr isn’t always the best..

He gets a reply about ten minutes later when Luhan is brushing his teeth. His eyebrows raise as he looks at the message containing Sehun’s phone number, and it gives him an odd, warm feeling in his chest. He’s pretty sure it’ll only be used for texting, but the thought of hearing Sehun’s voice, hearing him speak to Luhan directly—

From then on, for the next couple of weeks, the two begin talking more via text message. Sometimes they’d send each other random Tumblr messages that they’d post publicly, but all their conversations take place in texts. Sehun still makes Luhan have those weird feelings, even if they’re talking about something completely normal. Sehun hasn’t seemed sad since then, and Luhan hopes he’s the reason for that, so he tries his best to reply to him as soon as he can.

One night, their way of conversing steps up a notch.

Sehun’s parents are fighting again, and he’s locked himself up in his room, curled up in his blankets as he makes another post on Tumblr stating that he’ll be gone for the night. He’s already texting Luhan about not feeling too well.

[ ✉: Sehun ] My parents are fighting..

[ ✉: Sehun ]I think I’m gonna have an attack ;;;;

[ ✉: Luhan ] What? No no no, Sehunnie..

Now Luhan’s on the verge of panicking, sitting up on his bed and setting his laptop aside. He hesitates with his next text, but he figures he better ask now.

[ ✉: Luhan ] How can I help? Can I call you…?

Sehun takes in a deep breath, beginning to tear up as he reads his message. He doesn’t bother texting back and just presses the call button. Moving the blankets over his head, he brings the phone to his ear and listens to the ringing, shaking and whimpering quietly already as he waits. On the other end, Luhan stares at the name on his phone screen, not believing it at first but quickly answers when he processes the situation. His voice is low at first but then he clears his throat.

“Hello..?” He greets, biting his lip.

“..L-Luhan..?” Luhan swears his heart skipped a beat from hearing him say his name. He breathes out shakily, slowly lying back down.

“Hey, Sehunnie.. You okay?” It was a dumb question, but he really had no idea what to say. “Breathe in and out..” Sehun already feels himself calming from the sound of Luhan’s voice, taking in a shaky breath and letting it out slowly, and Luhan listens to it carefully.

“I-I really.. want someone h-here right now..”

It hurts Luhan to know Sehun is going through this kind of pain. He never seemed like such a fragile guy before— he always saw him as overly confident and content with his life, but he guesses things are never what they seem, at first at least.

“I’m sorry, Sehunnie.. I would if I—”

“If you could.. I know.. but y-you can’t a-and..”

He hears him choke on a sob and it breaks his heart, clenching his fist and closing his eyes. “Sehun…”

“W-will I meet you one day?”

Luhan is caught off guard, and he’s silent for a moment too long, hearing another whimper from the other end of the line. “I-I mean.. n-nevermind.. Th-that’s dumb.”

“Sehun, where do you live?” It’s an impulsive question, but he’s been curious since before they even started talking, and now it seems more relevant than ever. But Sehun pauses for a long moment, keeping silent before speaking in a soft tone.

“….B…Busan..”

Luhan’s hand smacks his forehead and runs down his face, sighing heavily. “Wow..”

“What’s wrong..?” He bites his lip, much calmer now but a bit anxious considering the current conversation.

“So far..,” he frowns, “I’m in Seoul…”

“Wow.”

“Yeah..”

They continue to talk about the distance between them, and it carries on and the conversation changes a couple times. Luhan’s proud of the fact that he was able to cheer Sehun up and hear his laugh for the first time. They talk for a few hours before drowsiness becomes too hard to handle, and they give their good nights.

Whenever Sehun has a down, he’s always back to his usual self on Tumblr the next day. His selcas are extra cute today, Luhan thinks, and it make him realize… Sehun’s never seen what Luhan looks like. And that amazes Luhan. Sehun’s never asked him about his own selcas, or anything about his appearance, but he still talks to him normally. But what if he starts acting differently if he did see him? Luhan shakes the thought out of his head, deciding to just see the good in the situation.

[ ✉: Luhan ] Cute selcas.

[ ✉: Sehun ] Aw, thank you o 3 o

[ ✉: Luhan ] How often do you dye your hair? That must be so bad for you.

[ ✉: Sehun ] I like changing up my style from time to time.. It’s refreshing, y’know?

It was one of those nights where Luhan had to stay at the office a little later than usual. He told Sehun ahead of time so he wouldn’t think he’s being ignored, and he gets home half an hour passed midnight. His last text from Sehun was from hours ago, having said that he’d talk to him after he finishes work. He wonders if he’s still awake, but from his Tumblr posts, it sure seemed like it. Though, he’s pretty surprised by what he’s blogging, but also extremely amused. There’s a variety of pictures and gifs relating to and kissing, and his last text post reads:

            oshnx94:

            so but so lonely………

Naturally, that post has over two-hundred notes, probably from hormonal teenagers dying to “take care of that problem”. Luhan sees that his last reblog was two minutes ago, so he decides to send him a message.

hanluxiao said: > v >

oshnx94 answered: What’s that face for? < A <

hanluxiao replied: Oh nothing~

Ever since they started messaging each other and publishing their asks, Luhan noticed a large influx of followers on his part, and he’s been getting many messages, mostly anonymous, regarding his ‘relationship’ with Sehun. Luhan and Sehun laugh about it sometimes, but Luhan secretly loves it.

Sehun doesn’t reply on Tumblr, but sends a text instead. Luhan can only smirk and laugh as he reads it, laying himself down on his bed as he texts back.

[ ✉: Sehun ] Don’t laugh at my needs.

[ ✉: Luhan ] But it’s funny~

[ ✉: Sehun ] You wouldn’t be laughing if you were begging to be touched and no one was around to do it.

[ ✉: Luhan ]  Maybe, but I’m still gonna laugh at you.

[ ✉: Sehun ] Jerk.

[ ✉: Luhan ] .

[ ✉: Sehun ] I already did :c

[ ✉: Luhan ] I would help you.

[ ✉: Luhan ] If I could.

Luhan stares at his phone. ‘Did I really just—’, but the message had already been sent and a wave of regret hits him like a tsunami.

[ ✉: Sehun ] If only.

And he surely didn’t expect that. He finds it kind of odd.. Sehun doesn’t know Luhan’s face, he doesn’t know his age, his life—

[ ✉: Luhan ] …Sehun, you know nothing about me. You don’t find that weird?

[ ✉: Sehun ]  What..? I know you’re really nice and you.. you keep me company and make me feel better.. What else do I have to know?

[ ✉: Luhan ] Well maybe.. My age? I don’t even know how old you are.

[ ✉: Sehun ] 20

[ ✉: Luhan ]  ..Really?

[ ✉: Sehun ] Yup. Did you think I was underaged?

[ ✉: Luhan ]  I didn’t know what to think—I can’t tell from your selcas.

[ ✉: Sehun ] And what about you, huh?

[ ✉: Sehun ]  …Now I’m curious.. I want to see your face.

It’s all escalating so fast, and it may not be much of a big deal, but it is to Luhan. He starts feeling nervous as he scrolls through his pictures, trying to find a decent one. He swallows thickly as he places one in a message, hesitantly, but finally sends it. He becomes worried when it takes five minutes for him to get a reply.

[ ✉: Sehun ] Wow..

[ ✉: Sehun ] You’re gorgeous.

[ ✉: Sehun ] What the hell.

[ ✉: Sehun ] You look so young..

Luhan’s face is bright red and his heart is thumping in his chest so fast, he thinks he’s going to faint. ‘He thinks I’m gorgeous..?’

[ ✉: Luhan ] I’ll be 24 soon..

[ ✉: Sehun ] Woah! 24?!

[ ✉: Luhan ] Yes—

[ ✉: Sehun ] Wow, you don’t look your age at all.

[ ✉: Luhan ]  I guess I’ll take that as a compliment—

[ ✉: Sehun ] Heh.. yeah.

[ ✉: Sehun ] …….I’m still .

[ ✉: Luhan ] omg

“I— meet.. You’re coming to Busan..”

He can’t tell what Sehun’s feeling from his tone of voice. A part of him thinks he’s just surprised while another part feels like Sehun doesn’t want to meet Luhan. “..When are you coming?”

"Friday morning.. around eight-thirty.. I’ll be leaving Sunday night, but I’ll be busy Friday and Saturday with work, so.. I was hoping on Sunday we could..”

“Meet..”

“Yeah,” Luhan bites his lip, feeling a bit anxious with how Sehun may be taking this.

“Okay.” Sehun answers, but he’s feeling really nervous already. What if Luhan doesn’t like Sehun in person? It’s those doubts a person gets constantly when it comes to the person they have feelings for.

Feelings.

It didn’t take too long for Sehun to develop feelings for Luhan. Through all the deep conversations they’d have until 4AM, the many times Luhan calmed Sehun down and made him feel safe even through the phone, and the little things he’d learn about the other within their talks. Somewhere along the line, Sehun began getting those feelings in his stomach that told him he was starting to fall for Luhan.

A week isn’t nearly enough time for either of them to mentally prepare. Sehun’s been a stressed out mess since Luhan told him the news, but he doesn’t show it to Luhan when they speak. They try not to mention it when they talk, keeping on topic with other things like Sehun’s college life so far and how he’s desperately striving for a dance scholarship. Luhan’s days at the office seem to drag on even longer this week, especially since he’s preparing for his business trip. Soon enough, Friday comes along. Luhan’s already settled in his hotel room and the nervousness hits him a little harder. Sehun wakes up that day determined to distract himself with dance practice, but it doesn’t work - He’s a little off, and even his instructor can see it. But Friday and Saturday go by much faster than the week did, and that only scares Sehun a little more.

[ ✉: Luhan ] Good morning, Sehunnie.

Sehun’s drowning in a mixture of emotions—good morning texts are always a nice thing to receive, but his heart is beating much too fast this early in the morning. He hops out of bed and sends a quick reply.

[ ✉: Sehun ] Good morning ♥

He’s about to run off to the bathroom when he realizes he actually sent a heart emoticon along with his message. He curses at himself, staring at the phone before tossing it on the bed, not even caring anymore. Luhan’s quite amused with the text, grinning as he sends his reply. It’s 11:30AM and he’s already showered and dressed himself - casual with a dash of his own style.

[ ✉: Luhan ] > v > ♥

[ ✉: Luhan ] I can’t wait to see you today.

It takes Sehun twenty minutes to shower and dress himself. He towel dries his hair and applies a thin layer of BB cream to his face; he wants to look perfect, of course. Luhan’s text has his stomach doing flips, and he’s already feeling too nauseous to eat because of his nerves.

[ ✉: Sehun ] I’m nervous, honestly..

[ ✉: Luhan ]  At least I’m not the only one.

That makes him smile though, and even makes him feel a little better. They plan to meet at the local bubble tea shop around 1PM, and Sehun can see the time going by way too fast. Before he knows it, it’s 12:45PM. Luhan has already arrived and he’s seated at a table beside the window. His fingers tap on the table anxiously, and he’s frantically checking his phone every minute. It took Sehun a lot of courage to pull himself out of his house and begin walking. There were a few times where he’d stop in his tracks and turn around, but he always ended up walking back towards the shop. His thoughts are going crazy in his head and the sound of his heart beating overrides the sounds of cars passing by him.

It takes him a moment to realize he’s stopped outside the shop. It takes him a moment to realize he’s been staring at Luhan through the window the entire time. And it takes him a moment to realize Luhan’s been looking back at him. He wants to run away at that moment, but he feels like his feet are glued to the ground. He hears nothing but his heartbeat thumping faster in his chest and in that moment, he thinks he forgot how to breathe. Luhan isn’t moving either, they’ve just looking at each other. ‘Is Luhan feeling what I’m feeling, or is he regretting this whole thing?’ That’s when Sehun finally snaps out of his daze. He gasps when he processes everything and sees Luhan again, and that’s when he turns around and begins running.

Luhan runs after him.

He shouts Sehun’s name as he chases him but Sehun just keeps running. Luhan would think a dancer would be a fast runner, but he catches up to him soon enough. When he grabs onto Sehun’s arm, he turns him around and pulls him into his embrace. He feels Sehun shaking in his arms, and he hears him crying against his chest. When Sehun’s arms encircle around Luhan’s waist in return, he feels like he can finally relax. They forget that they’re in a public place because all they can hear and focus on is each other. After all these months of needing each other’s company, they’re finally able to hold each other.

“Sehunnie.. please don’t run from me again..” He smiles to himself - he should’ve seen this coming. The popular boy from Tumblr who seemed so confident is, in reality, just young, insecure, and fragile.

“…I’m sorry..” he finally speaks, and it makes Luhan happy that he can finally hear his voice in person. Sehun finally pulls away to wipes his tears, slowly looking up at Luhan with a small smile.

“Hey..,” he laughs, “Sorry you have to see me like this..” Luhan only shakes his head and chuckles, reaching his hand up to help wipe some of the excess tears away.

“You still look great either way,” he laughs, giving Sehun’s nose an affectionate poke. “You’re even taller than I expected~”

“I was scared you wouldn’t like me in person..” he admits. Luhan shakes his head again and sighs. ‘He really has no idea, does he.’

“Impossible..”

They end up going back to the bubble tea shop, and Luhan buys Sehun his favorite flavor, then they sit at the table beside the window. They converse, the same kind of conversations they always have, only they’re a bit shyer in person. The subtle brush of fingers and accidental nudges of their feet have them exchanging shy smiles and glances. Eventually though, their fingers become interlaced together over the table top, and that helps them figure it all out.

After drinking their bubble teas and chatting for two hours in the shop, Sehun leads Luhan back to his house. He’s extra thankful today that his parents won’t be home till late that night.

“Sorry about my room—it’s kinda messy.” Luhan just shrugs and plops down on Sehun’s bed with a grin.

“Hey, you don’t just go lying down on people’s beds like that. So rude~” Sehun teases, walking over after closing his door. He looks down at Luhan for a moment as he bites back his smile, then gesturing him to scoot over so he can lie down beside him. Sehun’s pulled into Luhan’s arms and he suddenly feels safer than he’s ever felt.

“I wish you could hold me like this whenever I’m upset..” he mumbles against Luhan’s chest, his arm slung over his waist, pulling himself closer.

“I wish I could too..”

Sehun takes in a deep breath, the smell of Luhan’s cologne making him smile as he tilts his head back to look at him. Luhan looks back down at him, and they stay like that for a moment before they both start leaning in. Their hearts are beating faster, and they both can feel it with their chests pressed up against each other. In that moment, Sehun can’t get over how beautiful Luhan is, and Luhan’s thinking the same about Sehun. Or how their voices sound so much nicer in person rather than over the receiver. Caught up in the moment and their racing thoughts, their lips eventually meet, and they share a soft, sweet kiss that they’ve been dying to have over the past few months. Their last few hours together were better than they would’ve expected. They talked about their feelings for each other and long distance relationships. They kissed, a lot, and explored each other’s bodies, though both of them knew they weren’t ready to go very far yet. They held each other and Sehun cried a few times, not wanting to let Luhan go. But unfortunately, it was time for Luhan to get his things from the hotel and get on the train home.

“This is going to be a hard week, I can feel it..” Sehun says, leaning against the doorframe with a pout. Luhan’s smiling at him, cupping his cheek and giving him another kiss.  

“I know.. but you gotta pull through, okay? I’ll text and call you every day like we always do.” Sehun nods, pouting still, then pulls Luhan into a hug.

“When do you think I’ll see you again?”

“Hopefully soon..”

It takes longer than expected, but they give their final goodbyes before Sehun lets Luhan leave. But after everything that has happened that day, Sehun’s more than happy that Luhan ran after him.

[ ✉: Sehun ] I miss you..

[ ✉: Luhan ] I left your house like two minutes ago.

[ ✉: Sehun ]  >:c

[ ✉: Luhan ] I miss you too ♥ ♥ ♥

[ ✉: Sehun ] Better ♥

Overwhelmed with excitement, Sehun had told all his followers the news on Tumblr that night, but he soon regretted it. His post got over four-hundred notes, majority of the replies being from jealous followers while a small percentage congratulated him - some were even shocked that he was into men. He told Luhan to just delete all the hate messages he’d get cause he knew he’d get a lot. Sehun even lost a good amount of followers from it, but he doesn’t even care.

     oshnx94 said: Sorry babe~ ^^;;

It’s been a month since that night, since they’ve been an official couple. It’s been hard, and Sehun’s been feeling extra needy, but they get through their days just as they used to. Luhan wonders why Sehun hasn’t replied to his text in a while, but little did he know he’d be given some great news. Sehun had been crying from joy for the past hour just from a letter that came in the mail. When he’s finally situated, he grabs his phone and calls Luhan.

“Hello?” Luhan whispers in greeting.

“Luhan! I know you’re at work but I need to tell you something really important so excuse yourself from wherever you are!”

Sehun’s rambling, and Luhan can tell it’s something important like he says. So Luhan tells the others he’ll be right back and goes outside to the lobby.

“Okay, what is it?”

“I…I got a dance scholarship..,” he starts, pausing momentarily, “For a university in Seoul..”

They go silent and it takes Luhan a moment to register, but then he’s smiling like an idiot and tries his hardest to hold in his excitement.

“You’re moving to Seoul!?”

“I’m moving to Seoul.”

Luhan feels like he can cry at that moment but he keeps his composure— this isn’t the time or place to be squealing and crying. He tells Sehun he’ll call him later, and that night they talk about all the things they’ll do when they’re finally together. Luhan promises to take Sehun out on a proper date, and Sehun suggests a sleepover so he can sleep in Luhan’s arms, but Luhan knows Sehun’s suggesting more than just sleeping.

And Sehun moves to Seoul one month later, two months before his college term at Seoul Institute of the Arts starts. He’s living in a small apartment not too far from the college and not too far from Luhan.

It’s been a year since they followed each other on Tumblr, 8 months since they’ve befriended each other, and 2 months since they’ve been together. And that was only the beginning.

a/n: I wrote this fic about a year ago for my girlfriend cause she really likes Hunhan, and I finally decided to fix it up a bit and post it ヽ(・∀・ )ﾉ I hope you guys liked it ; u ;