Good things never last. I've read it somewhere before amongst the many books I've had to entertain myself with during my younger teenage years. I've never quite agreed with it. I think everything last as long as nature allows it to. Such descriptions like 'short' nor 'long' were associated with it. But no one appreciates life when things are good. They aren't aware of the second hand that keeps ticking along, eroding each second of happiness with another. Soon enough, all these seconds of happiness are gone and when happiness goes away, you're left with the disgusting realities of life - sadness. 

Luhan was the one good thing in my life. But I'm quite aware of the fact that I have to let him go soon. 

It's going to be my birthday tomorrow. I'm finally allowed to turn 21, by some power of the universe. 

"Hey, birthday boy. Are you excited?" Luhan playfully kicked my legs underneath our study table. 

I shrugged simply. There was nothing much to be excited for. My mom had asked me if I wanted throw a party but how can I throw a party with Luhan being my one and only friend. Him and maybe Junmyeon. But I decided against it. I suggested maybe a nice and simple dinner - with take out of course. I'm allowed to have good food on my birthday.

"Yeah, real excited about pizza and fried chicken take out." I couldn't get my sketch of the building right. And Luhan wasn't helping by disturbing me every 5 minutes and not concentrating on his 18th century art history book.

Luhan slipped me his little notebook in which he does his random drawings. It was a drawing of me trying to do my own assignment. 

"If you were graded for drawing me, maybe you would have already graduated." I offered.

Luhan chuckled then leaned over and gave me wet kiss on my cheek. "I know! And I offered them to my professor too! She said some were too sensual. Not like Picasso had his subjects fully clothed." 

"You offered her your drawings of me?" Luhan nodded and reached over my bag to steal a sweet. "You really didn't think that as an artist, I wouldn't draw your body, did you?" 

"But you could've shown her, I don't know, clothed drawings of me?" I was starting to have a headache and I don't think it was the radiation therapy from the day before. How can I ever face Mrs. Shim now that she has seen me before?

"I always give people my best, Minseok." Luhan smirked. "You, of all people should know that."

The thing about birthday parties is that they're supposed to be a happy occassion. Or at least I'm guessing they are. Another year you've succeeded at life - not dying. You're still breathing for another year. Hooray.

My mom bought the cake - the chocolate one that I'm okay with. My dad ordered 3 large pizzas and a big bowl of chicken. Junmyeon bought me new sketchbooks and another roll of 2B pencils because I hated the mechanical ones. Luhan of course turned up with nothing but a smile. 

"Hey birthday boy, ready to get the party started?"

Somewhere between reaching for the chicken drumstick and putting my drink down, I out. My last thought before I lost all consciousness was that, why did it have to be on my birthday?

I woke up in the ICU, like I always do whenever I go through these sudden dizzy spells. I tried to blink the heaviness in my eyes away - but it was very hard. The doctors must have pumped in as much dosage as possible to keep me knocked out and pliant to whatever they wanted to do to my body. I don't think this body can take any more surgeries - it's too full of cancerous cells, if they wanted to take all the cancer out, they'll just have to drain my whole body. The heaviness wasn't just in my eyes, my whole body feels like lead but somehow I felt like I needed to move to prove to my mother who was dozing off beside me that I was alive. 

I wriggled my fingers, just barely brushing the ends of her long hair. But years of being in the hospital trained my mother to be a light sleeper. 

"Minseok-... Are you awake?" I tried to nod my head, but my lips felt too dry and neck wasn't working very well. 

"Wa- Water..." My mom scrambled to get me a cup of water and finally I felt a tiny bit better. 

As I was thinking about why Luhan wasn't in my room, I lost my consciousness to the dizziness. 

The next time I gained consciousness, I was still in the hospital, but my body no longer felt heavy. I just felt tired. This was better, right? And Luhan was here as well, cutting up an apple. It was such a cliche hospital setting in a drama that it made me laugh. I broke out into a cough halfway though.

"God, Minseok, are you choking on your own saliva now?" Luhan put down his apple to get me a cup of water.

"No.. I was just laughing at how cliche you look in that chair beside me." I tried to shift my body to ease the tension in my back, but my limbs proved to be too useless. 

"Yeah, well, I've never visited patients before, and the old lady that sold fruits told me apples were a safe bet." Luhan focused back on the apple peeling process and I watched him. 

He had eye bags that weren't there before and his hair was turning brown and it was getting longer at the sides and his fringe covered his eyes when he looked down. He cheeks look abit sunken like he hasn't eaten for days.

"I thought I was the only one knocked out for days with just glucose water feeding me, Luhan." He smiled but never stopped cutting up the apple. 

"Yeah lucky you, at least you had something feeding you. Nothing can make me eat if I don't want to, Minseok." Luhan looked satisfied with the arrangements of the apple pieces and put the plate on my lap. "Now eat something solid." 

I tried, I really did. But I just feel so tired. 

"I can't move, Luhan. Feed me." Luhan took a single piece and placed it near my mouth. 

"Were you here all these 10 days when I was unconscious, Luhan?" Luhan looked at me, with the uneaten piece still between his fingers. 

"Where else can I be, Minseok?" Luhan fed me again, this time making sure I take the whole piece in. The apple tasted foreign and hard in my mouth. 

"They said the cells are spreading. It's taking your body fast. You have acute leukaemia, Minseok."

"I told you that the first day we met, Luhan. Why are you surprised now?"

"Sometimes you don't want to believe that it's raining because it's so peaceful outside, until you have to run in the rain." 

Luhan cried that day, sitting in that chair, holding the plate of apples.

My heart ached like it has never ached before. My heart didn't hurt because I was going to die soon. My heart hurt because it couldn't stand the thought of Luhan's heart being in pain. This must be where the word, 'heart-breaking' was coined from. Heart break, I realised, wasn't as clean as glass breaking, no single impact with lots of broken