First, It Drizzles
RaindropsMy name's Kim Minseok.
And I'm dying.
Now that we've got that out of the way, let me tell you more about myself.
I'm 21 years old this year, that is, if I live until March this year. I'm kinda hoping I do - my parents say turning 21 is a big thing and I hope I get to experience at least that before life bumps me out of this body. Oh yeah, you're probably shocked to know I'm dying. I have this thing called Leukaemia, maybe you've heard of it?
It , I get it. But I've gotten used to the fact that some day, I'll just die from the lack of oxygen or blood flow in my body.
Sadly enough, my parents haven't.
"You better take your medication, Minseok."
"When is your next check up, honey? When did they schedule your radiation this time?"
I'm not saying I don't appreciate being my parents' top priority, but I feel bad putting their hopes up and living my life like a normal guy. Well, as normal as someone like me can get.
I'm homeschooled. I play games on my computer. I watch korean dramas with my mom and I don't go out. At all. Except for maybe check ups and chemotherapy sessions or radiations when my doctors call for it. It is pretty normal for me, right?
The point is, I'm never going to be normal. I'm going to die. My days are numbered. I'm never going to grow up, get a job, marry, have kids and all the things my parents hope I do. I'm going to die. Maybe today, maybe tomorrow.
So I tell them.
"You're going through a depression."
"I'm not going through a depression, mom."
"Maybe it's the side effect from one of your drugs, what prescription are you on?"
"Dying isn't a side effect, dad. It's the result."
"Maybe you need to go to college, stop being home schooled, so you'll have a normal life."
"BUT I'M NOT NORMAL!"
"So, that'll be your schedule. Since you're majoring in Architect, you won't be having any lab lessons, but that building over there is the lab place and it has a really good canteen, so maybe you'll wanna go there some time."
"Yeah, thanks."
The guy was nice, but I haven't gotten over the fact that I was shipped off to college when all I wanted to do was talk some sense into my parents.
Architecture may be my interest, but it was just something I did as a hobby. And what would a college degree even benefit me in, if I was going to live long enough to get a job? Wait, was I even going to live long enough to finish this degree?
"Oh, it's raining."
I looked up. It really was. And it was so sunny before, too. But all over the campus grounds, people were struggling to find a place of shelter.
I hated rain.
It stinks of crashed hopes, looks like destroyed dreams and feels like death.
It was raining when I got my test results, as well.
"Well, Minseok, I'm afraid I'll have to leave you here. I've got a seminar in 10. Don't get lost, now!"
"Thanks, Junmyeon. I really hope I don't."
Junmyeon smiled before he walked off in the same direction that we came from.
I looked back out into the open grounds of the campus. Rain drops were coming down like little pearls onto the gra
Comments