(Song: The Weeknd - "Earned it" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xe_iCkFsQKE)

 

 

 

 

I step into this whatever party full of pretentious people, where everyone is looking for something. Money, power, fame, love, excitement...... You name it. One thing for another, a fair trade.

 

I have been here for too long, long enough to have grown numb towards all of these wicked games. I have learned not to be too immersed, not to invest too much.

 

Things just come and go. Like you can buy love for nights but it won't last.

 

What you can rely on is what you have. And what you have is what you are.

 

 

Tonight is just another night. Getting all your sense occupied - dazzling lights, roaring music, luxury wines, beautiful women and men.

 

It has its perks though - it helps me to escape the reality for a while.

 

 

 

“Wendy. Didn't expect to see you here.” I turn and greet a friend. Well, perhaps not exactly a friend but rather someone I know.

 

“Hey. You grabbing a drink?”  I casually reply fiddling with my lighter.

 

 

“Nah, I'm good. Mind lending me a light?” She lifts a smile before placing a cigarette between her red lips. Her eyes have never left me as I light it. I know exactly what she’s trying to do. But I shall just mind my unfinished Cognac.

 

I just love its caramel-color, and the way it burns my throat - which kindly reminds me that my feelings are still true.

 

Cognac, its name means “burned wine”.

 

 

“You are not smoking?” I can feel the pungent smell as she speaks.

 

“Not yet.” 

 

“You waiting for someone?”

 

“Not exactly.”

 

 

“Care for some company tonight?” 

 

Watching her breathing out those white little puffs, my eyes slightly watered and my visiion blurred.

 

“Not interested.”

 

 

People here don’t paster.

 

“Alright then. Have fun.” She walks away on the tobacco stick.

 

So I empty my glass and turn to my other habit. I know my habits are not very healthy but they entertain me.

 

 

Feeding myself on the addicting breaths, I let drown myself in intoxication.

 

To be perfectly honest, I have never thought of being something sanctified. I embrace my every desire, tend my every wound. I simply despise the idea of hiding, of lying.

 

Life is simple, and I live simply. You can say it’s because I have the money thus the liberty to do so. I won’t deny it. But I earn every penny myself.

 

My family is oceans away and they don’t really ask about my life too much. Probably the reason why I end up chilling in such a not-serious place for the night.

 

 

The Dunhill Menthol clears my mind a little bit despite this debauched feast I currently in. I look up and meet someone’s gaze so accidentally. As someone who doesn’t believe in faith, I thought she was just glancing around and got curious seeing a girl like me puffing hard.

 

But she doesn't break the stare while working her body skillfully among those of men and women. 

 

I haven’t seen someone being able to dance and sway like that with such crappy music. I am not saying I am particularly aroused. But she has my attention and interest for sure.

 

 

“You make it look like it's magic, 'cause I see nobody, nobody but you.

I’m never confused.”

 

 

I don’t know why she is so determined or for what. It is probably none of my damn business and I probably won’t see her for tonight. Therefore, I naturally look away. 

 

Smoke rings billowing around me, I suddenly want another drink.

 

 

I reach out to call the bartender who is flirting with someone else and a hand stops me. 

 

“It looks like you really want that drink, don’t you?” 

 

 

She isn’t wearing much makeup, not even thick eyeliners. And still, she is indeed very pretty.

 

I suppose she didn't come to party. Holding the cigarette between my fingers, I give her a smile, “So?” 

 

 

“So you should really finish it first.” She points with her nice manicured nails. Looking graceful.

 

I chuckle, trying to take a good look at her serious eyes. “You wanna help?”

 

 

“Why not?” 

 

“It’s the first time for me meeting someone borrowing a cigarette like this.” I shrug and she shrugs too. 

 

 

She looks me straight in the eye as she takes it to . It might be the drink ‘cause I think I can see her eyes flickering. Just like flames, fiery, and would burn you anytime.

 

Her lipstick marks the tip with an circle of alluring red. I watch her leaning back on the counter as her lips tighten, as she frowns a little and clenches her teeth at her first exhale. She hears my muffled laugh and glares at me with my cigarette dangling from .

 

“Not a smoker, aren’t you?”

 

“It’s just your taste is too heavy for a young beautiful girl like you.”

 

 

“It's acquired.” I brush off her blunt compliment and signal the bartender to pour me some more “burned wine”.

 

“No wonder you look lonely.” She starts again.

 

 

I take a glimpse at the half-done cigarette, “Just take it.”

 

“Hm?” She takes another puff and let it out on my face. “'It' as in your company tonight?”

 

 

I somehow choke a bit as she giggles. And so, I size her up and stop at her delicate fingers.

 

“You got a ring, miss. It looks rather expensive too.”

 

She boldly returns the gesture playing with the ring, “I bet you can afford a better one.”

 

 

“Tired of your man?” Unfazed, I retort with a soft smile.

 

“He’s not even my man.” She scoffs with a roll of her eyes. “He’s just an arranged date.”

 

 

The cold liquid churns my throat, “A rebellious daughter of a wealthy family?”

 

She puts down the cigarette into the ashtray, “Whatever you wanna call it.”

 

I don’t answer and continue burning myself. I was right. She doesn’t belong here.

 

 

“So you ran away when he asked you to stay at his place after today’s date?” I casually drop the question.

 

“How do you know?” She widens her eyes instantly.

 

“I told you. I have been there.” I smile at her cute reaction. So genuine.

 

“There're a lot of things you don’t know, dear.” She mutters lowly and takes me by surprise, pulling me into a kiss and stealing that little Cognac from my mouth.

 

I am totally taken aback and I let her hands drift to wherever they want.

 

 

“I'm so used to being used,

So I love when you call unexpected,

'Cause I hate when the moment's expected.

So I'ma care for you.”

 

 

Sliding her fingers into my hair, she deepens the kiss but soon lets out a groan, displeased by the lack of response from me. My lips form a wide smile against hers as I reach out to hold her. She is so arbitrary. Gently grazing her teeth against my bottom lip, exploring every inch and every bit of me. I am merely following her lead.

 

I guess she wants to be loved too, which I am perfectly fine with that.

 

 

“I like your taste.” Breathlessly, she whispers after pulling away

 

“I thought you said it’s too heavy.” I slightly fix my dress which has rolled up from the intense activity a while ago.

 

 

“It’s acquired, right?” She grins in a rather teasing manner. 

 

I turn my head to the slivery clink where she drops the ring into the emptied glass on the counter, "I guess so."

 

 

"So," Her voice is ever so soft but somehow I can still hear her. “Can I taste more?”

 

I just can't look away, “You come here just to get laid by someone else?” 

 

 

She looks at me one more time before she gives her answer.

 

“No, just you.”

 

 

“'Cause girl you're perfect,

You're always worth it.”

 

 

I haven’t done this for a while, so long that I thought I would be out of practice. But yes, she does arouse me.

 

Oh, those famished desires that I have long forgotten.

 

Most of the time, it is because I needed company. But no, she is making love. It is actually exciting, provocative and fresh as she trashes and tosses my house. 

 

A new found form of intoxication. Even deeper, stronger. 

 

There is no cliché name- names but nothing is lacking. I don’t even know her name but I feel like I have known her for a long time.

 

 

We sleep when we are both tired.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

I am the first to wake up in the morning ‘cause I am a light sleeper. Probably due to my lacking sense of security and my very unhealthy addictions.

 

And once again, she surprises me.

 

Not only she stays, but also we have been cuddling the whole night. Well, this is something new.

 

 

“Hey, good morning.” She mutters as I fail to break the hug without waking her.

 

As if it is part of the routine, I sit up and start looking for the scattered clothes, “Hm, good morning to you too.”  

 

 

But then she just yanks my arm while snuggling comfortably against the covers, “Hey, what’s your name?” 

 

“Isn’t it too late to ask?” I have to squint as the sun is a little too bright. 

 

 

She proceeds to hold my hand as she lets out a yawn, “I didn’t say it’s a one-night-stand.”

 

Something just struck me into thinking that there is just no way to fight her, “Wendy.”

 

 

Hugging me by the waist, she gives me a really cheeky smile. “Well, hi Wendy. I’m Irene.”

 

Which I find her really cute. “Are you falling in love with me?”

 

I figure I should let nature take its course as I ruffle her hair as if she is a spoiled kid of mine.

 

 

“Is it a bad idea? You said I am rebellious, didn’t you?” Out of nowhere, she leans in to kiss me.

 

“How come you remember the things I said?” It is impossible to figure her out, right?

 

 

“Maybe I am really falling in love with you.” 

 

“We haven’t even met for 24 hours.” 

 

 

I stop and look at her. She who is even prettier than the night before stays quiet, whose smile never fades as she looks at me the way I am looking at her. Maybe it is the afterglow, or the sunlight.

 

But I have never seen someone like her.

 

“I am serious.”

 

There, she gently cups my face in her hands, treating me in a way that someone has never treated me before.

 

 

“You know our love would be tragic,

So you don't pay it, don't pay it no mind.

We live with no lies, 

You’re my favorite kind of night.”

 

 

I have torn down every door and gate for her. She said she is serious, then I know she is serious. 

 

I believe in her. 

 

How she holds me, touches m e — it is more than lust.  

 

 

“Are you?” She asks expectantly.

 

“I am if you are.” 

 

 

She smiles before she captures my lips again.

 

Before today, I would not believe I am spending the morning after kissing and hugging with the stranger. But I am doing exactly that today, and it feels right.

 

 

“How about him? If we are to start some?” I rest my head on her shoudlder and ask.

 

“Give me time.” She answers in a very serious manner. 

 

 

“Are we going too fast? Have you really thought about it?” 

 

She continues playing with my hair, “Don’t you worry about him or my parents. I know we are the same. This is faith.” 

 

 

“On that lonely night, you said it wouldn't be love.

But we felt the rush, 

It made us believe it was only us,

Convinced we were broken inside.”

 

 

And so, she has overthrown everything I have known and become the only thing I know.