DUARRRRR!!!

“Holy !”

I jumped off of my seat, hands pressing my chest as I was trying to calm the erratic heartbeat I was having.

I wish it was the one happening.

I looked up to the sky only to find another lightning flashed. It was actually long, around five seconds since it lashed on the grayish dome. I could still see its silver streak along the edge of the horizon, glistening before it disappeared into nothing. I knew I was supposed to be afraid and find some shelter to protect myself. It was extremely dangerous to be in the open air let alone sitting next to a high three. Still, I could feel the relief as a booming, deafening sound exploded in the air. The thunder had come, seven seconds after its lightning. Damn, it was so loud and I swore I could hear a faint scream of people faraway there. They said that this kind of lightning always took an innocent person; someone would be dead due to being struck by lightning.

I suddenly felt a rush of worry running through my veins. I took my cellphone, glancing for a while at the clock. 4:12. The worry intensified, I quickly scrolled down the screen and logged into the phonebook.

I dialed certain number, which belonged to the person I was waiting for. I bit my lips, impatiently, until pain gradually shot from the bitten flash.

Come on, pick up! Where are you?!

No answer. I called him again, four times and still he didn't pick it up. I heaved a sigh, almost throwing out my phone due to growing frustration. What the hell happened with this guy? Didn't he understand my feeling.

I slumped at the bench, back leaning against the backrest. I closed my eyes, tears started stinging my eyes.

What happen with us, Sweetheart?

/,"/ /,"/ /,"/ /,"/ /,"/

"Hello?"

"Ando."

"Joonmyeon is that you?"

I almost screamed, heart beating faster after both knowing who the caller was and knowing that almost the entire people in the library shot me a disapproving look. I quickly gathered all my things, shoving them into my bag and making my way out of the scrutinized people.

"Where have you been?! I have been calling you for days! I came to your flat, asking your friends where you are but none of them said anything about you! Even Sehun didn't want to open his mouth when I ask your whereabouts! What the hell happened to you! Why are you doing this to me!"

I stopped talking, panting and exhausted. My heart was churned with both relief and frustration. Joonmyeon waited in silence, waiting for me to calm down and stay put.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lash like that. I'm just... I'm just worried, you know. I am so worried about you."

"Ando, can we talk?"

Another wave of disappointment attacked my heart. He sounded very reserved, not even giving a feedback for my apology and my worry.

"We are talking," my voice turned cold.

"Not over the phone. I... I have something to tell you. It's important. Really important."

My heart turned more disappointed and sadder as he talked. Joonmyeon seemed to not care about my upset condition now.

"Sure. When?"

"Tomorrow. At 3. At the bench in the park."

I heaved a long, painful sigh. "Sure. Listen, Joonmyeon, I a --"

"Great. Thank you. See you tomorrow, Ando."

The phone went dead.

"I am sorry if if I made a mistake, Joonmyeon," I still talked over the dead line. "I miss you. I love you so much."

I put the phone back into my pocket. Even the long sigh didn't make its usual way to relieve my chest.

The pain was just too much.

/,"/ /,"/ /,"/ /,"/ /,"/

"Ando?"

I blinked several times, realizing that I was no longer alone. Joonmyeon was already standing before me.

"Joonmyeon," I smiled. By instinct, my body just jolted by a sudden glee and I reached to hug the man. I tightly hug him, conveying my feeling toward the warmth I wanted to seep into him.

But something was not right.

Instead of relaxing, his body felt so stiff and tense, like I was hugging a log of wood. He didn't return my hug. I even felt that he was softly trying to release himself from my body.

I quickly detached us. My eyes meticulously observed him. He looked pale; white against the gray he was wearing. There was no smile on his face, only a small indentation on the corner of his lips. There was something falling in my heart, the pain started hitting my chest again. I was expecting him to be at least happy to see me. He just didn't.

What happened with him?

"I'm sorry, I'm late," he looked down the ground.

"No worries. I didn't wait for too long anyway."

Of course it was a lie. I caught his gaze at his watch, I apparently had passed an hour and thirty four minutes later than we were supposed to be.

"I am very late, Ando."

"That's really fine, Joonmyeon. I was enjoying myself."

I couldn't help but noticing how nervous he was, which unavoidably infected me as well. His fingers rapped on his knees, eyes refusing to meet mine.

"Joonmyeon? Are you alright?"

He closed his eyes and in that moment he looked like a broken angel in my eyes, sad and silent. I was about to wrap him in my embrace, but something restrained me from doing that. I lifted my hand and reached for his hand, but at the moment our skins had a contact, he stiffened under my touch. I retracted my hand at once, afraid of hurting him.

"Joonmyeon? What happened?"

The expression on his eyes when he finally opened them confirmed my suspicion. The sadness was crystal clear.

"I... I...."

"What is it, Joonmyeon?" my voice was as hoarse as his. "Please tell me what it is."

"I...."

Tears rolled down his cheeks as he couldn't say anything he had to say. I pulled him in a hug, feeling hurt in my chest as I could feel his tears seeping down my fabric. He was shivering, and I did my best to wrap him in warmth.

"Hey, it's okay. It's okay, Joonmyeon. I'm here, I'm here...."

That didn't seem to console him, instead, it let a sob from his mouth. I tightened my hug, feeling heavier in my chest for being unable to lift his burden. The minutes passing felt like a torture, he kept crying and I kept feeling down about myself.

He pushed me, slowly, and I couldn't help but feeling rejected.

"Ando...," he wiped away his tears. "Thanks for everything. Thanks for your kindness, for your love. You are the first person I was having a relationship with. You are the first person I could really be myself with. You are the person who is able to make me feel what a real love is."

Something bad started crawling in my chest.

No....

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. You have nothing to do with this. It is completely me, not you."

"No...," tears started pooling in my eyes. "Please, please, please don't say that. Just please don't."

He looked away from me. Tears rolled down his cheeks again.

"I can't be with you again. I can't."

I blinked, breath hitched.

"I'm sorry, Ando."

He jumped from the bench. I leaped forward and quickly grabbed his wrist, turning him to face me.

"Why are you doing this to me, Joonmyeon? Did I do something wrong to you? Did I hurt you? I apologize if I did all those bad things to you. I love you, so much! You are my life. I can't live without you. Please, stay with me. Don't leave me."

He bit his lips.

"I just don't think I love you anymore."

I lost my grip on him, something sharp just stabbed right through my heart. Joonmyeon looked at me painfully before he turned around and started to jog away. I watched him as his coat waved in the air, until he disappeared in the turning.

"Ahhhh...."

The boulder was pressing my chest really hard. I let the painful moan out, along with the tears that could no longer be held. I pulled my feet and hugged myself, feeling a thousand shatters of glass pierced though my heart.

Up in the sky, another series of thunder roared. Coldness started seeping onto my skin, as hard rain poured down on me, silencing the muffled scream I released from behind my thighs.

/,"/ /,"/ /,"/ /,"/ /,"/

“Drink this, Ando.”

I jerked up a little bit, only to see Jaehwan holding a cup of what smelled like coffee in the air. I took the cup and muttered a thank you. I tried to ignored his looking at me, even when he was observing me with a gaze that I interpreted as consideration and understanding. I know he was just concerned, he was not just an acquintance. He was my best friend,  the one I confined my secret with. He was there, very kindly, to console me for what had happened. Still, I hated being pitied, it made me feel weak and I didn’t wanna be seen as a weak person.

“Is there any news from Joonmyeon already?”

I shook my head. Jaehwan covered his mouth with both hands, he was also sighing.

“I have tried to search him anywhere but he was nowhere to find. I asked his roommate but they didn’t know where he went. He disappeared just like a puff of smoke. I was trying to ask student’s center in his college about his address but they refused my inquire. They didn’t give me permission as they say it was confidential. I lost the track of him. It turned out that he had completed all the things regarding his study. He won’t be following the graduation on his campus. He won’t come back anymore.”

It was really hard to not spill the tears, but I managed to do that anyway, albeit making me a bit dizzy.

“I have a plan.”

I sniffed. “What’s that?”

“This.”

He slid a card on the table, white against black. I examined the card, frowning.

“A private detective?”

“Yes. He is a friend of my brother’s. He is really good at this kind of things. He will find him for you.”

I looked away and chewed my cheeks. A moment later I got up from my seat and reached for my cellphone inside my bag. Jaehwan nodded as I glanced at him.

“Try.”

My fingers pressed the number written on the card. It took a while before my call was answered.

“Annyeong hasseyo.”

“Annyeon hasseyo. Detective Jung?”

“Yes. It’s me. Who are you?”

“My name is Aliando and I need your help.”

/,"/ /,"/ /,"/ /,"/ /,"/

February 23, 2015

If I were Ando, I would be torn as well. Poor boy.... So, Jaehwan is here. I love him since the first time I saw him. He looks so cute and innocent, and I have this complex of angelic looking people. Jaehwan would be the one who was there for Ando when his half part is gone. I hope he could make our hero smile again.

Another man would come up in next chapter. :)

Schandelierre