I heaved a sigh.

It had been 3.37 and still, he hadn't come. My fingers had moved to my cellphone, eagerly trying to contact him. However, I retained the burning feeling to call his number and ask him where he was. It was just... I didn't know, I needed to buy him some time, something like that.

Like what he did to me the other day.

"Ahh.... Hosh.... Hosh...."

Joonmyeon examined me closely, frown was there, apparent on his face.

"Sit down, will you?"

Nodding my head, I dropped my body on the bench, still panting as  I wiped away the sweat from my forehead. He took something from his bag and gave it to me.

"Here, drink. You'll get better."

Joonmyeon smiled as the water from his bottle glided through my throat. I sighed, deeply, as relief washed over me once I finished devouring half of his two quarter filled bottle. I returned the bottle to him, wiping the drip on my chin.

"Gomawo, Joonmyeon-s -- I mean, Joon-ah."

The slight crease on his brows vanished and he was brightly smiling at me. As usual, my heartbeat was rising steadily. It is really hard not to be enchanted by him. He always looked stunning no matter what state he was in. Three months of being his friend was enough to confirm that not only was he pretty, he was also a guy with attitude. This young lad had a fan base, girls always yearned for his attention. If I were one, I would be into the army of them already.

The army that would confess her love right away.

"You're welcome for the water and thank you for calling me my nickname, Ando-yah."

"I'm so, so, sorry I am late. I was having a meeting with my education counsellor and I didn't realize that I was spending too much time with him. The bus was also running really slowly and... yeah, craps happened and I was really late."

"Aren't you a hardworking student?" he chuckled. "It's okay. No need to worry. It's not such a long time anyway."

"Not long?" I checked my watch. "It's 3.26. I was almost half an hour late."

"It's okay. Waiting is always fine for me. I understand that you are really busy with your study. Double major, big deal. You haven't been late once in our entire meeting history, so there must be something really important or something bad that keep you from coming then. I was actually setting a frame time of one hour to wait, before I finally give you bombardment of calls and messages."

"Are you always this nice to everyone?"

"Sometimes."

A smile crept into my lips. Not only was he very good looking, he was also very good inside.

"Thank you. But I still owe you an apology. You are half an hour late for your lunch time and it's all because of me. This time, the lunch is my treat. Uh, uh! No refusal! It's my apology and you have to accept it."

Joonmyeon chuckled, sounding like a fairy.

"Who says I was to reject. What I wanted to say was I hope you are late again next time. That way, I would save my money for the food."

I was about to give his shoulder a punch, but he had already run away. Grabbing my bag, I chased him with ecstacy gas filling my chest up.

/,"/ /,"/ /,"/ /,"/ /,"/

Tick.

A drop of rain hit my nose, cold enough to make me shiver. I looked up to the sky, waiting for another drop of water to fall down, but nothing else hit the earth. The sky was the bleakest now, ready to pour the sea of water anytime.

3.48

It was not an hour yet. I should just wait.

"Are you okay, Joonmyeon?"

I stopped eating my ice cream, eyes checking on him whom I didn't realized had stopped feeding himself. I swallowed the scope melting in my mouth and put my cup aside.

"What happened?"

Joonmyeon shook his head. "I'm fine."

He was trying to send me his usual, okay smile, but it just didn't work. Sadness was still radiating there.

"You're totally not fine. I have been seeing that you have been thoughtful these days. I didn't want to pry, I do respect you and your privacy. But if you have a problem, you could always talk to me. If this one year has not made you think that I am your best friend, then here I state it. You are my friend and you can tell your problem to me. You don't have to bear everything alone by yourself."

That way, you could smile again. I love seeing your smile, I hate seeing you sad.

Of course I didn't say that.

Joonmyeon looked at me intently for a while, deciding whether I was the right person to trust or not. He sighed when he noticed my assuring smile.

"I don't know if I really have to tell this one or not. This is... huge."

"I am here to listen to anything. However, I won't force you to tell me if that doesn't make you comfortable. I don't want you to get hurt just by saying that to me."

He closed his eyes, biting his lips before opening them again.

"No, Ando-yah, you're correct. I should just tell it. You are one of my best friends. You have been really kind to me. I want to tell you this, because it is something about me. Something that I am trying to be honest with, my essence. It is really important. Very."

His eyes pierced me like a pair of knives. I had to gulp before sending him a supportive smile.

"You can trust me."

He nodded, after such a very long time, and looked away.

"Ando-yah, I think I'm in love with someone."

It was a punch.

Right.

Through.

My.

Heart.

I had to clench my jaws so I didn't end up screaming. My fist balled, all my body was stiff. Emotion raised and every cell in me tensed up.

"You... what...?"

Joonmyeon took a deep breath.

"I think I am in love with someone. That person is close to me. I always try my best to get closer to that person, but I don't think that person realizes that. That person is really nice to me, very, very nice. Pretty, very pretty. Not mentioning that person is hell a very smart person."

Suddenly, I felt boneless, heart like being pinched with thousand needles. He liked girl. It was confirmed. I had even no chance to have him by my side.

"Who is that girl? Do I know her?"

Even I heard that, the shakiness in my voice couldn't be hidden. He turned his head to me, smiling sadly.

"That's the problem. It's not a girl. He's a boy."

A boy.

That was even worse.

In a way, I am so relieved that he wouldn't reject to love me as a lover. He was into guys, just like me.

However, just when I could just be with him, he was in love with someone else. I didn't know if that was good or bad. I felt like crying.

"Now you know what happens with me. I am a gay, Ando-yah. I don't like girls, never did. I had crushes before and all of them were boys. But this one, I feel attracted to him so much to the point that it hurts.The saddest part is I don't know if he is like me or not. Sometimes I see a glint in his eyes, but other than that I am not sure if our feeling is mutual. I could be wrong, mistaken. I don't know if he has a feeling to me too or not. It is really hard to be with him without knowing how he feels or being able to tell him what I feel. I just feel devastated."

He sighed, hugging himself as well.

"Now you have known my secret. That's who I am, inside. I understand if you don't want to be my friend again. I am abnormal, yeah. I am disgusting, pathetic, name anything you want. I am not like your other friends, never will."

He heaved a sigh.

"I just wanna thank you for being my friend. You have been very great to me, the bestest friend I could wish for. Since the first day I saw you, I knew that you were a good guy. You are beyond nice. You are everything someone could wish for in a friend. Thank you. Thank you for being my friend all this time. Goodbye."

He grabbed his jacket and stood up. His one leg has already made a distance, but I caught his wrist, taking him aback.

"You're not the only one who has a secret, Joonmyeon. I have a confession to make too."

I gulped.

"I love you."

/,"/ /,"/ /,"/ /,"/ /,"/

February 8, 2015

Many people asked if the character is Aliando Syarief from Ganteng-Ganteng Serigala. Yes, fella, that's correct. I am not fond of the sinetron, but to me, he is kinda cool. He looks kind to me and he suits Joonmyeon so much. :)

Schandelierre