Jongin lets out a groan of frustration, running a hand through his messy hair. He pushes his prescription glasses up his nose bridge, rubbing his tired eyes. How long has he been sitting in front of his laptop? Five hours? Maybe six? He gets up from his work table to pour himself another cup of lukewarm coffee, needing a short break. 

He slumps down on his unmade bed, sipping the bitter drink, picking up his phone and unplugging it from the charging wire. He notes the time on the screen. Three hours before sunrise, and coincidentally, to the submission deadline as well, but he was only halfway through writing his paper.

Living in the dorms felt so damn lonely sometimes. Sure, there were all those parties with open invites extended to just about anyone, but Jongin was never much of a socialite. He had a few close friends that he studied and hung out with occassionally, but he never bothered to put much effort into fraternizing with the other students when it had really mattered, and now his laziness was back to bite him in the . 

He didn’t really have anyone to count on, and tonight he happened to be feeling a little sentimental. He scrolls through his contacts list mindlessly, not realizing he had stopped to hover over Luhan’s name. 

Would he be awake right now? 

They barely met up anymore, and recently, their cellphones would be the only way the two could stay in touch.

He taps on Luhan’s name, the phone immediately dialing the number. The ringing goes on for too long, and Jongin panics, thinking he might be interrupting on Luhan’s well needed rest. – 

‘Jongin?’ 

‘Hyung!’ Jongin blurts out, surprised that the older boy picked up. 

Luhan laughs at the astonishment in the younger boy’s voice. ‘I’m here.’ 

‘Um, you’re awake? I didn’t wake you, did I?’ Jongin asks precariously, setting his mug on the bedside table. 

‘No, it’s fine; I was just getting some revising done for my test tomorrow.’ 

Jongin nods in understanding, and then mentally slaps himself for forgetting that Luhan can’t see him. He’s exhausted. 

‘What about you?’ Luhan asks, after the momentary silence. 

‘I was up finishing a paper,’ Jongin replies. ‘And I wanted to hear your voice.’ 

Did I just say that out loud? Holy sh– 

Luhan laughs again, unfazed by the comment. ‘I think you’re tired, Jongin. Maybe you should finish that paper tomorrow,’ he suggests. 

Jongin’s face heats up, thankful that Luhan can’t see him. But he feels a sudden stab of annoyance in his chest, and maybe it’s the lack of sleep and years of repressed affection talking, but in the spur of the moment, he asks, ‘Do you like me?’ 

‘Uh– Sorry?’ Luhan asks, flustered, unsure whether he had heard the younger boy correctly. 

Riding on the sudden surge of boldness, Jongin confesses, well aware that he would have to suffer the consequences later. He was so tired, in some ways even sleep can’t fix. ‘I like you, hyung. Do you like me?’ 

Jongin finds himself anticipating Luhan’s answer, even though the older boy’s next words have the potential to break him. How long had he wanted to know how Luhan truly felt about him? Now or never. 

‘What are you saying, Jongin?’ Luhan lets out a nervous laugh, vibrations splintering in the younger boy's chest. ‘You’ve always been my best friend. I’m going to continue revising, okay? Let’s just… pretend you never called, all right? You must be so tired. Get some sleep while you can.’

Luhan says his goodbyes and well wishes before ending the call, promising to talk again soon. But Jongin is silent, wondering why his chest feels so empty.