His name is Park Chanyeol, and Jongin is bored.

‘Anyway, I tried to apologize for accidentally spilling the coffee on him – it was at the busiest time of the day so the restaurant was packed – but he wouldn’t have any of it. He even had the gall to ask me to pay for dry cleaning! How is a student in his senior year of high school supposed to afford that?’ Chanyeol almost tears his hair out, ranting about his latest instalment of Why it Freaking to Have a Part-time Job.

Jongin crosses one leg over the other, bringing the straw of his apple juice box to his lips, his attention span quickly waning. Why was he dating Chanyeol again? 

They had been friends prior, but anyone who knew them would have pinned the two as mere acquaintances. But when Jongin had asked Chanyeol out on a whim one day, he never expected the taller boy to agree to it. Jongin always found Chanyeol kind of cute, and his voice was pretty hot, but Jongin still isn’t sure where he pulled out that devil-may-care attitude from. It seems to be his default personality these days. Anyway, it just happened, and now here they were, nearly one month later. Jongin was surprised that it managed to last so long this time. 

‘Are you even paying attention?’ Chanyeol asks from across the table. He’s leaning back in his chair, face stoic. Jongin doesn’t miss the flash of hurt in his eyes.

‘Yeah, I was,’ Jongin lies through his teeth, feeling slightly guilty. ‘The café is kind of loud today, sorry.’ 

‘Did you ignore all your exes like this too?’ Chanyeol asks, words callous and unforgiving. ‘Maybe that’s why all of them left you.’ 

Jongin laughs bitterly. ‘You’re right,’ he admits without missing a beat, voice void of remorse. Jongin barely noticed the exponential increase in exes he had been racking up, not even bothering to count how many there were. Maybe he wasn’t thinking. Maybe he just felt lonely. 

Chanyeol gets up without a word, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. 

‘Are you breaking up with me?’ Jongin asks Chanyeol’s retreating back. ‘Are you seriously leaving without paying? I forked out the bill last time!’

That earns Jongin a distasteful accusatory finger.

Jongin sighs, holding his head up in his hands and huffing at his fringe. He’s tired. The average lifespan of Jongin’s relationships were about two weeks – maybe Chanyeol was just happened to be abnormally tolerant. Or oblivious, Jongin adds as an afterthought.

He had realized a long time ago, exactly why he was doing this. There was no cut-off point for potential partners – boys, girls, it really didn’t matter to him. He went out with all of them anyway, but they were all wrong. 

You mean, they weren’t Luhan, he corrects himself. No, shut up. 

Was he really talking to himself right now? He groans, getting up to pay for the bill. 

It has been a year and a half since Luhan had left for college, but he couldn’t bring himself to let go of his little school boy crush. He hasn’t found anybody that could replicate Luhan well enough to replace him. 

The two would still met up sparodically, with too-long breaks in between. They hadn’t grown apart at all; They knew each other too well for that. Spending time with Luhan was never awkward, but one thing Jongin never dared to share was the huge crush he harboured for the older boy. The last thing he wanted was to become more of a burden on Luhan, bothering him with petty things while he was off in med school working his off every day. Jongin could never allow himself to interfere with Luhan’s dreams. 

Whatever time they had together, Jongin quietly appreciated, including little moments like Luhan falling asleep on his shoulder on the bus ride home, feeling the perfect weight of his head in the crook of his neck, Luhan’s raven hair caressing his cheek. He never had the audacity to wish for these moments to last a lifetime. 

But whenever they were together, the distance was there, looming over their heads like a painful reminder that they led separate lives now, schedules clashing, each meeting with one another becoming more inconvenient, out of the way. 

Maybe, Jongin thinks, it was for the better.