You're good enough.

You're good enough.

You're good enough.

I repited myself over and over again while holding the acceptance letter. 

AnA entertainment had chosen me over hundred other more. But those word weren't mine. They were from Ajhumma Lee, who kindly helped me since I arrived in Korea. I'm half korean somehow, I supposed because of my circumstances, I don't really know. My other half's supposed to be Latina. But I was chosen, I was good enough. Since my birth certificate stated Colombia as my origin country, I summited myself to be a trainee in AnA under the goverment's "entertainment" equality" trade, issue recently. 

I needed to report myself in a week in the company's building for an interview,What was I supposed to say? I haven't sleep in days from the nervousness regarding the acceptance letter, now, I will sleep even less. ''But is your future'', I repited myself again, now for real, my own future depended in somebody elses hands.

But my dream is not to become famous, is to meet magic in the face. A kind of magic you cannot find anyother place.

The moon has been my best friend and number one musa; the night, my playground. I'm alone most of the time, and I don't like that much at times, but being alone brings me a differnt kind of comfort, different from the one I received when others are around. Now, is time to fly, my first step: AnA.

Suddenly, it's the day. I dressed up cassualy, guessing it was better than dolling myself up and giving the wrong impression. So I went for classic and safe. It took me more than 3 hours to arrived, what I saw wasn't the prettiest view.

I wondered in front of that mess for a couple of minutes, confused on what was going on until a girl next to me asked me bodly in english.

"Are you lost?" she said while smiling.

"I guess so. What is going on?"

"They are waiting for someone I guess"

"Is this AnA entertainment?" I asked her while confusing looking my sourrandings.

"Yes, why?" She looked at me again "Oh no! Are you here for an Interview right?"

"Yes, How do you..." before we even noticed, the reporters had already turned around our way and started to walk profusly. Suddenly, we were in the middle of that confussing mess. "Whats going on?" I screamed at her, but while I was turning everywhere looking, she wasn't there. Out of nowhere, a hand appeared and took me rapidly inside the building. When I turned his way, yes, it smell like a guy, he wasn't there either. "Why does everyone keep dissapearing?" I said to myself mad.

Someone great me at the door.

"Oh no, they are here again. Are you ok miss?"

"Not really, I'm late for my interview here"

"Is that so? I'm terribly sorry, please follow me this way." So I did.

We were walking through some pretty clean hallways. Through a mirror, I noticed how messed up I looked. So I quickly cleaned up myslef while I entered what I thought was the interview room. The lady sat me down next to five more girls, when I looked up and in front, there was a panel of 6 people looking scrutinly harsh at us. I looked at my fellow victims and laughed.

"Is there something wrong Miss..." I barely heard until the girl next to me gave me a little push.

" Me?" I pointed myself.

"Yes, Miss..."

"Steph... Sorry, I meant Doo Ra, Lee Doo Ra"

"Miss Lee Doo Ra, Why were you laughing at?" said the woman right in front of me, the previous person was a man well putted.

I laughed again.

"I missed the dress code guideline", she replied me with no words, but with a cutting eye glare. I shut up.

I was being left last, I knew it from the moment I laughed, well, it was a good experienced, "Enjoy it". They called, one by one, each of the girls names. What they did with each of them was: questioning, profile discussion,dance and singing test... DANCE AND SINGING TEST? Oh no... OOHH NOOO. WHAT DO I DO NOW? It never ever crossed my mind that this part of the process will take place today. I start shaking while the time passed by, then, it was my turn.

"Miss Doo Ra..." the man said.

"I'm sorry Sir, What is your name? I want to adress all of you properly" They looked at each other sourprised.

"Well, I'm Composer Hyun Wook. And they are CEO Shin Hae Yoon. Voice Director Sung Jin, Scout Director and Composer Jae Young, Strategy Director Tae Min, and Miss Da Jung"

"Quite a few names"

"It stays in your profile that your real name is Stephanie Lee" said CEO Hae Yoon. "Tell us about that"

"I know I'm not ordinary. And I guessed that under my circumstances you already know why"

"Thats correct, but we want to hear it from you, is that ok" and quite direct.

"I don't have a formal family... well, I don't have any proper family member. Except Miss Lee, who is no longer with us."

"Why AnA?"

"I guess because it was one of the few companies that boldy said yes to something different. It gave me a sense of confidence."

"From what?" said Voice Director Sung Jin.

"From the world. I'm already strange enough, I did not want to humilate myself in front of someone who was already shuting the door in my face"

"Do you know the possible consequences of your hypothetical entrance here?"

"I know them... I know them really well" I suddenly laughed again, but even I felt the sadness behind it, they surly noticed it. "I alredy know the small possibility of my actual acceptance, but It was worth giving a try"

"You don't trust your talents?"

"Oh no, please don't missunderstand me. I trust them very well"

"But?" took again the lead CEO Hae Yoon.

"But I am also realistic to the fact that my physical appearence is not what you would expect from a proper trainee at any company. I'm sometimes  terribly conscious about my weaknesses..."

"You are beautiful" abruptly said Composer Hyun Wook "And please do not judge AnA that way also, we aren't perfect either" We all laughed comfortably.

"Are you ready now?"

"Yes... " I thought I would throw to the trash the interview if I say what I had in mind, but it wasn't faire for them, I I want to be as honest as possible from the beggining "I'm sorry..." They all looked my way"If I want to give my best effort I will, but I honestly did not came prepare for the dancing test"

"Don't you have anything?"

"I can do it, I'll just... came up with it as it goes"

"are you sure?" I thought it not twice, but a hundred times. I looked through the window one more time, and as the sun came through, so did I.

"I'm sure". I weakly walked my way to the man in charge of the music in one side of the room. I gave him my phone with the song selected. Than I walked again to the center of the room and danced, as it my life depened on it.

(please watch the link below before following reading)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VDDcI4amLw

As I stood up, I saw each face of each person who was inside that room. The silence was extremly loud, the awkadness was breaking my heart.

"My dream is to experience magic"

"How is that possible" strangly asked CEO.

"When I dance, I feel diiferent, something that pushes me into acting in the best way that I can. When I sing, it cleans my soul, I feel free. With music, I can be a better me. Isn't it it? the power to connect hundreds without words or without a language barrier? The feeling of being saved and sound but at the same time exposed and trustworthy?"

"You are in deed different Miss Doo Ra" said her again while writting in her notes.

I felt strangly alone in the room... But I had no regrets. I was finally.... me.

(From video: I do not own it, all credits to Anna McBride)