I look behind me and see my fellow group member, Sunny staring at me.  "Sunny?  What are you doing still awake?  We have a fan meet tomorrow!"

"I was up waiting for you!  I'm not the only member going to the fan meet.  You are too.  We all need our rest, but I was worried about you being out so late when we have a busy schedule coming up."  Sunny explained in an almost harsh tone.

I respond with defense, "You sound like such a mother right now Sunny.  You're not even the leader of the group.  Shouldn't you respect me a little bit more?"

Sunny sits down.  "I do respect you, unnie.  It's just that we have a busy schedule and I hate seeing you so exhausted all the time."

I let out a sigh and sit next to Sunny.  "I'm sorry.  You're right.  I should be more aware about my health and make sure I'm well rested for future events.  I guess I have just been a little lonely lately.  I figured Baekhyun and I could spend some time together, but now I see that's almost impossible nowadays."

Sunny hugs me and pats the back of my head.  "It's alright Taeyeon.  Sometimes we need to see other people besides our group members.  I understand why you would want to see Baekhyun because he's your boyfriend,"  I blush a little.  "but don't forget to take care of yourself in the meantime."

Sunny let's me go and I stand up and walk to the kitchen.  I make myself a glass of water and watch Sunny enter her bedroom and close the door behind her.  I appreciate her worries for me, but sometimes I just need a break.  I know I have a schedule tomorrow, but I still wanted to see Baekhyun.  

That's not the only thing I'm stressed about.  I'm still trying to get over Jessica's departure from the Girls' Generation.  I did what I thought was best for the group, but in the end, I upset a lot of Sones.  I lost a great friend and I don't know if I will ever get that friendship back.  Can't anyone see that I'm in a tight spot?  All I need is some space.

I finish my glass of water and place it in the dishwasher.  The dryer holds my clean pair of warm pajamas that I washed earlier today.  I retrieve my pajamas and retreat to my room.  Tiffany is my current roomate and I honestly can't complain.  She's one of the closest members to me in Girls' Generation.  Through thick and thin, she's always there.

I quickly change into my pajamas and throw my dirty clothes into the hamper.  Tiffany has fallen asleep without a blanket on so I give her one of mine.  She loves my pink blanket the most.  I lay the blanket on top of her and cover her feet.  I then lay in bed under my white and fluffy blanket.  

Staring at the ceiling, I think about the fan meet tomorrow and rehearse what im going to say to myself.  I'm excited as always, but I still feel empty.  Maybe because Jessica won't be there?  I don't know.  I just hope that I can get through the day with a natural happy smile on my face tomorrow.