“I don’t know that I’m such a burden for you”  He jumped at her statement. It was too sudden for him even though it was wrong statement- hmmm it was right though, he really mean what he said before but her tone makes him rather speechless instead of trying to explain-more to apologize actually. He heard her, she seems sad.

 

“So, it’s true after all, “He knew that she was simply beating around the bush but his mouth refuse to talk anything at that time. He wants to explain so badly but it seems like his explanation would make something worsen. Indeed, he already makes it worse when he said something like that. How he wants to explain, saying that he did not mean any of his words when honestly, he means that. Chanyeol sighed, his brain had stop working at that time, to lie, saying that she just assume things or be honest.

 

Their relationship gets worse when she heard his award speech at MAMA. It was nothing for him- as he was not in the right state at the moment.  He was wrong for saying something as he did not know the consequences. It was not like they have a nice relationship before-after he was leaving Roommate, they have no time together and it leads to a complicated relationship. And they were never having a nice relationship while he was in the show anyway.

 

They’re always nagging, bickering and even screaming whenever they got a chance to talk. And when they were secretly meeting each other- he swears he was willing to sleep in the dorm instead of going out together. Why? It was because they were either yelling at each other or they were just sitting there, pretending to not noticed each other presence.

 

For example, that night! He was sneaking to meet her, a little bit excited to meet her since they have not meeting each other for two or three months but they ended up being moody again.

 

“I don’t know Park Chanyeol is such a bad guy type. I thought you are gentleman type of guy. Did I hear it wrong? Someone said you will do something crazy when you love someone. But I bet your confession didn’t match your heart at all. I think you have no feeling for me. Instead, I’m forever your friend. Friend zone, this is the only thing you can offer me,”

 

She really did not gives him times to speak at all which is one of the reason their endless quarrel before. But, he admits that he was the one who contribute the most as a reason for their yelling and bickering scene.

 

“Jinah…”

 

“Don’t you dare calling my name like that, I don’t like it and I’ll never like it,” She said before slammed the wheel steering. Oh ho! This is not good, sure it was not good. Nana looks cool someday but who knows this girl was a rampage type of girl. Only Chanyeol knows her as this latter usually lost her cool side whenever she was facing him.

 

“Drive carefully. I don’t want to go die with you, “See, it was proof that he never thinks before he speaks and a proof that he was the main reason for her to keep yelling.

 

Chanyeol stuck his tongue out, honestly, he wants to say something else, instead of pickinga fight with her again but he slipped those words without thinking twice. Feeling guilty, he turned his head towards Nana, who was trying really hard to control her anger and focusing on the road. He saw that, her eyes started forming tears.

 

 Damn you, Park Chanyeol!  You and your stupid side. You should have think before speak but what are you doing?

 

“What’s the point of your confession anyway? No point, not at all,” She added, succeed in making Chanyeol held his breath, gritted his teeth while slammed his hand on the dashboard. He makes the latter flinched in shock. She doubts him and she even question his action. It was not like he hated it but he does not like it.

 

“And I don’t know why I accept you like that without thinking twice. Am I the wrong one here? Yes, I think I’m on the wrong side, wrong for accepting you. I think we are better as a friend; we better stay as a friend. It is the only way we can avoid our useless bickering. And I, no, you…”

 

She paused, making Chanyeol looks at her and taking a deep breath. He tried really hard to calm down as he was being impatient to retort for her statement with his, of course his sharp tongue. His patient could not last longer whenever he talked with her and he wonders why. Was he the wrong one?

 

“And you’re clearly stated that I just a burden for you. But, Chanyeol-ah, don’t you think that you’re not professional to say that on TV.” He groans then, this girl really knows how to make him become a rampage boy. Even with her little talk, judgmental and statement, he admits he would burst out soon.

 

“So, what? Did I say wrong back then? Yes, you’re,” He looked at her, biting his lips when Nana seems shocked with his answer. He should not do that but what was the point of lying then? He knows little does he knows that he means his words the other day. When people say, basically he is in love and it was yes, it was the truth but there was a big quarrel between them when he said something like that. Screw him! And now, he dares to be honest instead of lying about it. “I really mean when I said it before. One more thing, who tell you to accept me? Remember, there was no force involve in both side before,”

 

When his rational side was running away from him, and here it comes, his sharp tongue and his response towards her. He was, for sure he would not behave like that but for certain reasons-more like his anger outburst, so he was outburst everything. Not, not in a flat tone though but he kept yelling at her. What if the people could hear him? Sure enough the car was not that soundproof right? But, he does not care about it, not until he was satisfied with it. Not until he won in their quarrel.

 

“I got that. I heard that, no need to yell at me. I’ll drop you at your dorm. Five minutes before your dorm and you can walk back by yourself, aren’t you?”And by that, she keeps silent along their journey. He notices her sad tone, her hardened grip on the steering and her tears; her tears already fell down to her cheeks.

 

She already surrenders from their quarrel and he won but why did he feels guiltier, sad, and his heart aching seeing her crying like that. She even sobbing hard and he notice she slow down the speed and wiped her tears. He sighed, Nana seems taking care of their safety first, not speeding even when she was not in a good mood. She does not change at all, she still the old her as she takes care of others first before her.

 

 

---

 

“Nana, “Nana back to the reality when someone taps her shoulder and sat in front of her. She looked at the latter and flashed her smile when he was one of her close cast in Roommate. They were still shooting for upcoming episode of Roommate at that time and she had to stay there until the next morning. “What are doing here? I thought I just found a beautiful ghost just now,”

 

She giggles when Dong Wook said that until the older asked her to stop pretending it. She pouted, looking at him in confusion. The older shook his head lightly. Honestly, after the old casts of Roommate were leaving the show, only Dong Wook knows her state. She was sick and sad at the same time.

 

“You have a problem, aren’t you?” She shook her head to answer his question. She never wants to be a burden anymore. She gets enough with Chanyeol’s confession the other day. Even though the latter did not straightly telling it to her face, little did she know that she was a burden of him. “I think you’re not a good actress. You really can’t act, Nana. I think you only touch this if you’ve a problem,”

 

The older points the can of beer. Yes, she was never touching that kind of drinks. In fact, she could not taste even for a little of it. It’s burning her tongue as she has low tolerance of alcohol.”

Still forcing her lips to create a smile, she smiled to the older. A bitter smile. After living together for a long time, even she rarely at Roommate’s home, at least she notices that everyone started to know each other better. For example, those three youngest, they are too close with each other. Nana was more than sure that they are sharing their little secret as well. And the other cast too, but for Nana, she did not even close with anybody. She tried to refuse their existence even for the old casts as she could not bear to face one more separation.

 

 “You’re so quiet lately. I noticed that you are abstain yourself from us. This is not you. Where did the old Nana go? “The older asked again, gaining Nana weak gaze and roams her eyes towards the kitchen island, in a matter of fact, she tried to avoid his concern look.

 

She silent, she was thankful for his concern but to spill her problem to him was no. Dong Wook might be facing some problem as well and she would not become a burden to anyone else again. She grabs the can of beer, shoved it to but her action stopped when Dong Wook seized the can and put it far away from her.

 

“This thing…”He points the can with his forefinger and said, “It’s hell addictive. Don’t you drink this whenever you’re in your situation? And, I think for this month and in this house, I notice you almost drink this every night, what the hell are you doing?”

 

He rose out his voice towards her and Nana lowering her head, thinking but ended up crying. After a few times she was crying alone, that night the shed tears in front of other.

 

‘Loser!’ She thought that in herself. The word was perfectly describing her at that time. Not just that night but the days passed before it.

 

Nana pressed her palms on her face to avoid any sobbing can be heard by the entire casts. They were already sleeping if she was not mistaken.

 

“Hey, are you okay? Please don’t cry, if the camera caught it people will say I’m bullying you,” The older stood up from his chair, walked towards her and caressed her back, trying to ease her. it does not helping much but she was thankful for that because there was a person who would asked her whether she was okay or not. Remembering that, she cried again, with a little hard sobbing of course.

 

“Hey!” The older grabbed her shoulders, asking her to face him. Nana titled her head, only to find his concern look. And there, she started to compare both Chanyeol and Dong Wook. Her heart started to waver, both of them are different. She knows she should not had comparing those two since basically one of them- Dong Wook was out of her league but she had a soft spot for a man who was taking care of her and Dong Wook done a good work to make her waver. Not his fault though as he did not know about that and maybe, maybe her heart was too aching and ‘it’ wants some change.

 

“Care to explain, Nana. This is the second you’re crying here. First when you’re being attack in some website and now, by whom?”

 

She shook her head then, still reluctant to give any information about that. Oh heart, stop aching and stop acting weak. It was nothing, it was really nothing. It just a small matter, it was not like she have not deal with it before. She refers to her big quarrel with Chanyeol actually.

 

“Oppa!”

 

“Hmmm?”

 

“If someone just admits that you’re such a burden for her, what will you do? How will you react?” Her question manages to make the older who was sitting beside her- after his question was left unanswered turned to her. “I just curious and by the way, it is not my problem,”

 

She added when the older asking her whether it was the main source of her problem. And of course, she would not admit it.

 

“I don’t know. If she told me, I mean clearly told me at my face that I’m such a burden then it might be true. But, if she did not tell me face-to-face, it means that she is just acting or she really can’t bear to say that.”

 

Shoot! It was true, after all. Chanyeol told her face-to-face at her face, tells her that she was a burden for him. Nana caressed her chest, slowly, truth hurt. Once again, she was facing one more the truth hurt. Her heart feels like bleeding again. It was hurt!

 

“Then, how will you react if she told you face-to-face,” Pointing his face, Nana asked that. She wonders if the other people would react exactly like her.

 

“I don’t know. Maybe, I’ll run away. Maybe!” He answered her, before added more, “But, I wouldn’t believe it if she didn’t say it, so I will face her, asking her instead of assume things and hoping that she would say no,”

 

She smirked then; it was the same things as she did before. She did ask him instead of assuming things, even though her question was more like rhetorical question yet she did not expect he would say yes to it and it was more hurt when he spills everything.

 

“Meet him, ask him instead of assuming. “ By that, the older stood up, “And you’re not a good actress. I know it is your own problem not a friend of yours,” the older ruffled her hair and leave her there, not before asking her to think again.

 

Nana sighed, “I have done all of that, oppa!” She whispered slowly, takes a deep breath and grabs the can of beer again, opened it and gulped like she was thirst for it. Little does she know that she would have a trouble to wake up the day after. Typical Nana when she was drinking. That’s why Chanyeol…

 

She drinks the beer again, tried to forget his name in her mind.

 

 

---

 

Chanyeol sighed; his headache comes and hit him all of a sudden. He thought talking with Dong Wook would reduce his stress but apparently it makes him suffocated through all of the older questions. The older did call him, just to tell him that Nana, no he was caught she crying at the midnight in a middle of the shooting. So, he had to explain everything as the older urge him to spill everything as he knows that they did through a huge quarrel.  

 

“She’s hurt. I don’t know how to explain but I can feel it. I don’t know that my word would invite a huge problem.” He opened up, a guilty feeling flashed on his face. He really should not say that, it was like he was not being considerate her feeling at all. “No, in fact, I make her hurt with my words after that. She still okay when she asked me that, but when I’m being honest with her, I thought it will be okay if I’m being honest but it makes the whole things more chaotic,”

 

“I thought she was okay. I thought you guys already making up,” Dong Wook said then, it was weird for him as he already advised her. “I told her to not assume things, to ask you first but it seems like she did assume things. Aishh, that girl, can she listen to other for the first time. It is not like I’m the outsider. I know both of you even when you guys are friends, both of you likes each other and confess,”

 

“Hyung. I’m at the wrong side. Don’t blame her. I tell her everything, even if I’m being honest but that my honesty hurts her. I did say that she such a burden for me,” He spills, Nana was hurt enough to hear his honest thought and he thinks Dong Wook should not jump into the conclusion, blaming Nana when the real problems there is him. It was never be her fault at all. Never!

 

 

 

Dong Wook harshly lets his scream out. He knows that, he totally know that. “Ah! I think she misinterpret my advice for her.” Obviously, he regrets for saying things like that. He should not make his advice as a complicated one. Of course, Nana would misunderstand his points. Silly him!

 

“I’m sorry Chanyeol-ah. I should have done better. Now, everything worsens than before,” Chanyeol sighed then, getting frustrated upon the situation. Everything was getting out of his hands and he felt suffocated by it.

 

“I think we have no other choice, hyung! I’m tired, just let the time to solve everything. “He weakly utters that words, he was being impatient. Not impatient to coax her but more to end it. “I think our relationship are nowhere in peace. So, I think we should breaking up,”

 

Finally, he said that but it was towards Dong Wook and not Nana. Little does he know that the older would be mad at him or relay his message towards Nana. But he only could hear the older sighed, might be tired like him as well or might be just guilty over him.

 

“I will explain to her later. I’ll try to help. You hang on there, it is not something big. So, you shouldn’t make a rush decision. For me, both of you are meant to be. From a close friend until you both brave to confess. It is my fault as well and I’ll try to…”

 

“Hyung!” He butted in even before the older finish his sentence. “I really don’t want you to do it. She will not listen to you. I know her, longer than you know her. She can be as stubborn as a mule. It is not like I’m not trying to explain but if the girl refuses to take any of my phone calls, what should I do? It is not like I have no other job to do instead of calling her…”

 

He heaved a deep breath then; he was running out of words to speak again. He did saying the truth anyway, the girl was stubborn.

 

But, all he could hear after that was only Dong Wook who chuckling and then laughing like an insane person. As he still remember, he did not telling something funny at all but the older was laughing like there was no tomorrow.

 

“Hyung~~~” Chanyeol whined then, succeed in making the older stop laughing but just in a second. Dong Wook started to laugh again. Chanyeol clicked his tongue, slightly spaced the phone from his ear to reduce the laughter sound.

 

“You’re…” The older paused, meanwhile Chanyeol tried so hard to not throwing any tantrum towards the older as he really respect Dong Wook as his close brother. “Both of you like a married couple, you know. The way you guys bickering, it is like a married couple. No lover will do that, I think. There are no sweet moments between you and her. Whenever you guys meet, it is either you’re glaring, yelling or silent. “

 

“Haha! It’s that even funny.” He thinks Dong Wook was true though.

 

“Yes. You did tell me before; you shared your kiss with Nana even before you guys are properly dating each other. Isn’t it funny?” The older exclaimed and Chanyeol was jaw dropped, stuck his tongue out and grinning. “Even if you did that because you’re out of your mind, too jealous of Seho who I think just doing his job at that time. Come on, everyone know that their love line is just a fake and you know it too, but the fact that you kiss her in front of Seho, when obviously you guys are not dating at that time make me saying like that. Both of you are like a married couple instead of friend, it is before though but now, instead of lover. Don’t you think so? “

 

“And?” He asked, trying to register the whole blabbering from the tall guy’s mouth. Okay, he admits that their relationship was kind of confusing since they have shared everything even before they could properly confess to each other. And it was obviously with a yell right after that. He grinned widely; honestly it was a little bit funny, Dong Wook was right and Chanyeol was amused by the whole things. It was funny.

 

Chanyeol threw his body to the bed, wriggling his body towards the bed and grabs the big teddy bear, hugging it. “Frankly, if you both, I mean, you both end up in…”

 

“Hyung!” Chanyeol grimaces when Dong Wook asked something like that. Little does he know that Dong Wook means something like, you know, something like…when a couple, did he had to explain that?

 

He wants to retort, puts his arms on his forehead to think about it. But, he was running out an idea.  “Hyung! What should I do then? I mean to say sorry. Not to end up somewhere like you say just now,” But, he ended up asking for an idea to Dong Wook. Still, warned the older to not talking or giving a yellow idea for his question.

 

“Coax her!” The older instructed, and Chanyeol just hissing to his instruction. He knows it as he also wants to coax her but the problem was how? “Our Chanyeollie is already matured. I think you just want to end up everything just now,”

 

He chuckled then, scratched his head when he realized that he said something like that before. Was it his real intention? Yes, it was his intention and if Dong Wook did not try to do something, he was more than sure that he already single by that time or more precise words, he was breaking up with her. Thankfully, there is always someone who tried to advice him in a time like that. Okay, he admits it was not his first time to try it- break up with her.

 

When he was not in a good mood- it was because they’re having a conversion on the phone before MAMA started and they were, as usual fighting for – hmm only he knows the reason and he was sick at time. So, he said something like that on television. If he was in her shoes, he thinks that he would be insecure as well. In fact, he always feels it.

 

Did he never like her? No, he loves her. Just that he thinks it was hard to adjust everything. From close friend to lover, before they used to be a close friend so, any bickering was acceptable. But, when become a lover, there was too much problems to handle and it makes they feels like to give up.  

 

But, it was before he talked with Sehun. After talking to Sehun, it feels like the load being lifted on his shoulders. It was relieving and it thanks to the youngest advice. They were having a long talked at that time and the just stopped when they have are being called to perform and to accept the award. It happened in the SBS Gayo Daejun, the only place who leads a talk about Nana and his relationship.

 

 

SBS Gayo Night

“Hyung,” Chanyeol who seems focusing at the paper on the board turn and looked at the youngest. He raised his eyebrows when Sehun mouthed something towards him but he could not understand it. He narrowed down his eyes; follow Sehun’s lips when the latter point out somewhere using his lips. How easy to live like him, just using a gesture instead of speaking out loud.

 

There, he saw something- no, someone actually. A group of girls who wears green attire stitches with a small Christmas tree there. It was honestly weird for him if anyone else wear it but it matches the girls though. Yeah, it was for their concept that night. As he knows that they would perform for Christmas version that night.

 

“Greet her, hyung. Come on, it’s been a while right? So, I’ll try to cover you up. “Sehun whispering in his ears and Chanyeol roams her eyes towards the area, it was quite empty. Then, locked his gaze at them, a bit hesitated to greet them. Come on, Park Chanyeol, it was just a greeting. It was not like they would have a long conversation there.

 

“Hello sunbaenim! “ Awkward. He knows that when he greets them and yeah, it makes them turned a smile at him- precisely just two of them who could smile at that time, meanwhile Nana pretending that no one greet her at that time and walking passed them, leaving her teammate who stopped to repay his bow as matter-of-factly just for a respect. Chanyeol scratched his head when Sehun nudged his side, asking him to quit acting. He hissed then, it was not acting. In fact, he did that because Sehun asked him to so that. Because, for Chanyeol, why bother to greet her anyway?

 

“What was that, hyung? She did not even look here. It makes me sad. Nana noona did not look at us” Sehun spill it when the girls excused themselves to go to their waiting room.

 

“She’s in a rush,” He answered then, still hiding the real answer reflected for her cold side.

 

“You really can’t do that to her. Nana noona is a good person. Whatever your problem is, please try to settle it. It is not good to break her heart, hyung, “

 

“What did you know, actually? You know nothing about it”

 

“Everyone in EXO knows about both of you. Whenever you are sneaking to meet her, you come back to our dorm with an irritated face. “

 

“True. Sometimes, she’s irritating me. “

 

“I wonder the reason of both of you to be a lover when you guys are actually spending yourself more into a quarrel instead of trying to understand each other better,”

 

“We used to be friend anyway. We know each other better”

 

Still standing in front of the board, they were discussing about it. They are ignoring the others who walked passed them. Others might overhear them, Chanyeol and Sehun just let it be. It was not like the others never are in a gossip section among the idols anyway. Whenever couples come out, it would be a hot topic among the idols.  Idols gossiping, it was a normal thing.

 

“I know that, but now it is different. I don’t want to take side this time because both of you are same. You guys are stubborn. Take your time to think that friend and lover are different.”

 

“That is not the main problem here. “

 

“Then, you are the main problem here. You know that she did not want you to offer her the same thing like before,”

 

“I didn’t get it. Please enlighten me!”

 

 “Do you love her, hyung?” He silent then, thinks about Sehun’s sudden question. Did he love her? Or he just likes her? “You can’t answer this easy question. Honestly, out of your female friends before, I know Nana noona attracted you the most. You’re interested in her. I still remember this before, you’re telling her whenever we’re going to overseas concert. When you want to buy souvenirs, you will buy it for your father, your mother, your sister and not to forget Nana noona. As I know, sometimes friend forgets about their friends but in your case, it is different. One more, you’re calling her nth time before,”

 

“What about now?” Chanyeol asked as he just realized something when Sehun said that.

 

“Same. You’re still calling her even though you’re tired with our schedule. Sometimes, you’re smiling like an idiot but sometimes you’re angry all of a sudden. And I smell jealousy. “

 

He hummed then, opened his eyes and turn at Sehun who grinned at him. “I feel that even before we become a lover,” He stated, gained a laugh from Sehun and yeah, his laugh managed to steal a glances from the other.

 

“But now, it’s too much. “ The youngest stated again and Chanyeol glares at him for a while.

 

“What do you mean?” He asked again, looked at Sehun who seems contemplated to tell him about it. The youngest might be a young man but he knows love well than Chanyeol. Where did he learn that?

 

“Hyung! Tell me, every time you guys are quarrel, it was your own insecure and jealousy. For example, when she talked with another man and you caught it, I know you would have a long bickers with her. You’re possessive”

 

“True. I just can’t help it whenever she talked with another guy. Okay, it was fine before but now, I think I can’t handle it. But I’m not possessive though…”

 

“When you talked with her at MAMA, I know you get jealous again. Why though?” Chanyeol grinned, he remembers that but to answer it, it was embarrassing.

 

“She called me to ask about our performance and she mentions Kai,” Sehun just shook his head, gestured him to follow him to the platform. It was time to start the festival.

 

“Before, you get jealous with Seho hyung and that night, Kai. You’re unbelievable. The way you shout, I thought she has another scandal,”

 

“Don’t mention that. I can’t bear if it happens.”

 

They were sitting at the platform and joined the other members, still so into their discussion. Suho hissed, asking their whereabouts and they just shrugged their shoulders. Of course the leader would look for them; both of them are missing right after they had done their makeup.

 

“You can’t bear for it to happen yet you don’t even love her. Let her go to find…” Chanyeol flinched before smacked Sehun’s arm.

 

“I love her. As much as I love my family,” He stuck his tongue out when Sehun keep blinking his eyes to . This evil youngest!

 

He raised his palm and clenching it before punched Sehun’s arm. The latter yelped in pain and Chanyeol just smiled in satisfaction. He chuckles at the latter who was faked his pain.

 

“I think she is just confused. Sometimes, you’re treating her like a friend but sometimes you’re too possessive. What kind of feeling do you really have for her? She feels insecure!”

 

“No, it is not that though.” The maknae shakes his head slowly when Chanyeol retorted back. Was it that hard to understand his point?

 

“Then, can you tell me why did she behave like that? She doesn’t look like my beloved noona at all,”

 

“I said yes to her question. I know I was wrong at that time. I shouldn’t say it and I shouldn’t being honest to her,” Sighing, Chanyeol looked at the maknae who seems waiting for him to explain everything. He avoids the eye contact and looked at the stage, pretending to immerse himself into the performance. Yeah, a performance already started at that time, it seems like Chanyeol and him were having a lot of discussion without realized it. He bitterly smiled when Sehun gently rubbed his back before whispering and asking him to keep smiling. Professional, he had to act like a professional because there are hawk like eyes of their fans and antis who would make up a story regarding whatever his behavior. It makes him suffocating!

 

“Chanyeol-ah. Do you want to sit with me? It’s awkward to sit here alone,” Chanyeol looks at the-forever-awkward D.O and nodded, stood up and leaving Sehun to sit with D.O. Sitting with D.O was rather awkward though. It was because the latter just blankly watches the performance and did not have nerves to move even for an inch. Chanyeol scratched his head, was it comfortable that way? Why did he feel more comfortable sitting with Sehun even though that latter asked him million questions? Of course, Chanyeol would behave whenever he was with D.O. Even the happy virus’s Chanyeol could not do anything to chase away the awkward atmosphere.

 

But, only for a while though. Chanyeol was being like his old self again while watching Ailee’s performance-more like when the camera shifted from the stage  and show his face on the big screen instead, who wouldn’t pretend that they were enjoy the performance, right?  What a good actor he was at that time? He deserves an award for that.

 

 

Yet, the feeling just come for a while, when he fails to coax her, he had that sudden urge to end everything even with a sad ending. What a good type of boyfriend he was at that time? He still remembers his first attempt to coax her, to give his explanation, to give his excuse.

 

 

Chanyeol walked towards the backstage when Orange Caramel’s performance was ended. Little did he know that Orange Caramel would not join them to sit on the platform or someone gave him wrong information? Crap!

 

Carefully, he sneaked from the platform; careful enough to not make anyone realized he was missing again especially the leader. He walked to the backstage; using his long legs to make his steps was faster than anyone else. Knowing Nana, he knows the latter would hide somewhere if he did not meet her on time. Where? Do not ask him that since he also did not know about that.

 

“She’s not here. I don’t see her when we’ve done our performance. You should’ve found her by yourself since you know her hiding place better than us,” Lizzy speaks up when he asked her Nana’s whereabouts. He was right yet he was one step late than her.

 

“Are you sure, Liz? You’re not hiding her somewhere, right?” Chanyeol raised his eyebrows, it was quite fishy since he knows Lizzy even before he knows Nana as they are friend before he debuted in EXO. His same-aged friend really cannot start a lie or build a conversation based on a lie.

 

“Okay, she tells me she will take some fresh air but I’m sure she’s in her usual place. Straight to that stairs,” Chanyeol smiles then, mouthed ‘thank’ to the latter and walked to the pointed place, opened the door and started to climb the stairs. Confidence as if Nana was upstairs. Hey, he was using his brain there. As someone who was hiding from the people’s sight, of course she prefers the difficult place to find, isn’t it? For the first time in his life, Chanyeol could think straightly.

 

“I’m a genius,” Muttering that words alone, he stopped at the rooftop door. Sure, Nana was there because when he climbed those stairs, he did not see any glimpse of human there.  Chanyeol looks at the stairs, why Lizzy did not tell him to take an elevator instead of climbing those stairs? Chanyeol chuckles then, Lizzy was playing with him. Of course, he would not let her go without a pay back. Just you wait Park lizzy!

 

He heaved a deep breath, thanks to Lizzy cause she was the main reason he barely gets enough air. It was tiring to climb up the stairs. “And, I’m not that genius anyway,” He mutters again, blaming his stupid side for not thinking right.

 

Crap! He was taking too much time to be there. His plan to coax her has to postpone. Every member might be looking for him at that time. Screw him and Lizzy, that girl, Aishhh if that girl did not played some joke on him, he might be already coaxing her. Damn it!

 

First attempt, result for it was failed even before trying!

 

 

 

“Chanyeol-ah! Good luck,” He pouted, that wish brought a feeling. He had a feeling that he would fail again. What if it happened exactly when he coax her, as Chanyeol still remember, he makes a big fuss at that time. A big fuss when he had to pretend that he could smile whenever his collogues shoots him their teasing gaze.

 

 

 

 

Second attempt. Hmmm...

 

“Nana! Yah Im Nana,” He yells for her name then, scurried away from the crowd and runs after her. She was damn faster than him. Okay, next time he would remind s to not looking for a tall girl. He was an exceptional though but yeah, it was fine to advice other people for not having a same problem with him. It was hard to get her, talk, do not mention it since Nana was like invisible in his eyes.

 

“Please, can we talk for while?” He blocked her from running away, totally did not mind the eyes of other artist at the building, sure enough they have audiences there but who cares. He, Park chanyeol has to talk so badly, so do not mind him. He watches her as she looks uncomfortable with their surrounding, yeah, being watched by others was a bit, a bit, no,  it was really uncomfortable though.

 

Sighing, he grabs her hand and pulled her away from there. It was not like a nice move from him though as he gained more eyes on them. But, at that time like that, who cares! He glares at them and he caught glimpses of Sehun who was in a daze while watching him passing by, jaw dropped and mouth opened widely. Not to mention the leader who looks like he would eat him anytime when he traded his way through him. Sure, the headline of idols gossip for a week was Chanyeol and Nana.

 

He holds her hand tightly when she wrestled to get away from him. Dragging her, he walked faster and traded through the idols, artist and staff who still looking at them. Damn it! Park Chanyeol manages to make both of them the center of attention again. It was not his real intention though, but he did a bad move.

 

 

“Look, I don’t want to waste my time here, so, why don’t we just…” He stopped when she jerked her hand, asking him to stop holding her hand. He shifted his gaze and looked at her wrist. The guilty feeling arise there when he saw a red mark on her wrist. The latter caressed her wrist slowly; her eyes already fill in tears. Running his fingers through his hair, he harshly messing up his hair, totally did not care about the hard work of stylish noona. The program was already ended and they have no schedule after that, or they did have it. Oh ho! He forgot about that.

 

“I’m…” He wants to say sorry but Nana stopped him with her sharp gaze.

 

“I didn’t ask you to talk, right? So, it is not me who is wasting your time.”

“Wait. What?”

 

“You’re the one keep asking me to talk with you and you said I’m wasting your time. Wake up! This time it is not me, it is you. And don’t waste your time on me. It is not worth it!” He flinched when she yells loudly. Did he say that before? Chanyeol cursed himself for not being careful in his word.

 

“Nana, look…I know that…”

 

“You know that I’m such a burden for you yet you’re wasting time on me. “ He did not get to explain anything as she cuts his words with words.

 

Sighing, he gets closer towards her when she turned her back. Hesitated, he pulled her and embraces her from behind, back hugging her.

 

“I can’t forgive you, Park Chanyeol. You said this and that to me and just now, you make me embarrassed in front of others. You know they will say that I’m such an attention seeker. Instead of listening to you, talking to you nicely, I make a big fuss out there…” and she cried again. Chanyeol closed his eyes and putted his head on her shoulder. Thank God, they are at hidden place after all the commotion he makes out there. If not, he does not know how to react at that time. Nana was crying and a middle of that, he still has to explain everything.

 

Little does her word make him sad somehow? She could not forgive him even though he did not apologized yet. She said she was an attention seeker but he was the one who gained an attention from the others. Adding that, he had a lot to explain anyway but with Nana condition- she cried and sobbed hard, he knows the latter did not hear anything anymore.

 

“Let me go,” She asked and he lets her go, she takes the chance to leave and leaving him there without any words after that. Chanyeol was left speechless, still trying to process the situation. What was that? Did she leave him there, alone?

 

Of course, his second attempt was a big failure and not just that. He heard the idols are gossiping about both of them. The whole industry- mostly the one who was there when he makes a commotion already knows about them and whenever he met them at the backstage.

 

 

“Hyung!” Dong Wook hummed when he called for him. “Why did I smell a failure ahead?”

 

He pouted when Dong Wook laughed at his sudden question. Did Dong Wook happy with his failure? If that so, life was cruel as he got to know that heartless hyung.

 

“There’s no failure word in man dictionary. Just try it. Who knows with ‘that’ something, she’ll open up more,”

 

“What if she gets angry?” Still, he feels insecure caused Nana was unpredictable.

 

“Then, serve you right!” Dong Wook answer, makes him yelped in frustration. This hyung was not helping at all. Before, he makes Nana totally spacing herself from him as he gives wrong advice but at that time, he was teasing him.

 

“Hyung! If you’ve a girlfriend, tell me, “

 

“Why?”

 

“Cause I need to pay back and it was a perfect time for a pay back,” Chanyeol laughed when the older screamed at him, asking him to forget it since he did not want to tell him anything if he got a girl. Chanyeol smiled at his thought, he was joking but the older really took him seriously. He would not dare to do something like that especially for Dong Wook since he helped him a lot when he still filming with them in Roommate.

 

“Hyung, wish me good luck!” He said before hung up their phone call. Looking at his phone, he bitterly smiled when he saw the wallpaper on it. He had guts to set her picture as the wallpaper. All of it because of Im Nana but that girl really does not believe him in whatever he does. He coaxed her, but she said that he had to. It was his fault anyway, so he had to bear with it. Stubborn Nana and thoughtless Chanyeol. What a great combination was that? A really great combination until they have a love hate relationship even though they started to love each other. He admits, their love was not perfect like others, and there was no perfect relationship exist anyway. 

 

 

---

 

 

She played with her phone, unlocked and locked the screen back, aimlessly doing that again and again. Huffed the air, she threw the phone on her bed, makes the latter who was laying on her bed looks at her, raised her eyebrows. Nana shrugged her shoulders, did not even bother to care for the latter’s curiosity. Just look at the latter’s face, the curious plastered on her face.

 

“Damn you, Lizzy! Can you move to your own bed, I want to sleep!” She growls then, walked towards her bed and slapped the latter’s thigh when she was not move at all instead she was having fun teasing her and wriggling her body on Nana’s bed. “Move away, Lizzy. Don’t make me repeat again, or else…”

 

She raised both her palms, higher before she smirked, locking the place to be attacked and then…

 

“Okay, I’m going. Put your hands down. And those smirk; make it vanish as soon as possible. It is scary!” The latter screamed loudly, of course, she is Lizzy right? So, she did not know how to speak in a flat tone. Rather than using a soft voice, she was comfortable to raise her tone, speak in three octaves.

 

Nana hissed, flicked Lizzy’s forehead and dashed to the living room. She giggles when the latter screamed again, asking her to get her there, on her bed cause she wants to sleep badly just now. She smiled at E-Young who immersed with some music notes. Looking at E-Young, she occupied the seat besides her, making the latter jumped in shock.

 

“What’re you doing?” Yeah, Nana. Even though she clearly saw the latter was reading a music sheet- how a person knows how to read it, she wonders about that. This E-Young is damn talented, not just reading but she knows how to create it- was she using a correct term for it, and she did not know anything about music actually.

 

“Unnie,I just reading this. I know how to play this piece before but I kind of forget about it. It’s not as smooth as before, so I have to do some revision for this,” She smiled; E-Young was kind of awkward with them actually. She was close with Jooyeon unnie but when the oldest decides to graduate from After School; E-Young become quieter than before. The news affected the younger a lot and Nana even seen her cried.

 

“E-Young-ah...” The younger looks at her while hummed, smiling when Nana ruffled her hair awkwardly.

 

“Do you want to go somewhere with me?”She asked, still hesitated to voice out her question and her opinion. “I think instead of abusing ourselves in this so called dorm, let’s get a fresh air. It is quite suffocating to be here all time and I think you must be bored.” Since E-Young have no schedule and she mostly spent her time at the dorm. When the other complaint saying that they have no schedule while they still have one or two schedules, Nana notices E-Young tried to prevent from crying. She knows how it feels; she had the same problem before.

 

“Okay,” The latter smiled, making Nana also smiled. Oh E-Young! How come you still could smile even though you have a problem? This petite girl is strong, she knows that. And Nana hopes she could be as strong as E-Young, smiling instead of crying when she had a problem.

 

“By the way, who, I mean can you play a piano for me before we’re going out. I mean you look so focus just now and I wonder if that music is hard to play,” Does she arrange her sentences right? It was quite messy for her though, and adding her stuttering, it was completely messy.

 

And there she goes, tried to not looking weak again, and totally regrets it. E-Young played a same song as Chanyeol played before, and she regrets for asking her to play it since it remind her of Chanyeol so much. Who know? She did not expect E-Young to do a revision for an easy song like that- because E-Young already mastered some of difficult pieces, and it was including classical pieces.

 

 

“Wow, it is beautiful,” Nana exclaimed, followed with an unending applause from the second youngest, E-Young. She flashed her smile towards the petite girl who looks so amazed with the water show. “Is it your first time seeing this E-Young-ah?”

 

The maknae nodded, clasped her hands and brought it to , covered it. Nana giggles then, she is cute. She just notices that, before this the second maknae was hiding his cute side after Kaeun joined in After School.

 

“You have a problem, aren’t you? Unnie?” Nana turned to E-Young who watches at the outside, immersed with the view. She avoids her eyes when the latter glances at her, waiting for her answer. “I know we’re not that close…” E-Young paused but Nana could find her shaking tone, maybe regrets with their relationship as members in one group. “But, I know whenever you guys, I mean the unnies had some problem. And when Nana unnie has a problem, she would randomly asking member’s to go out,”

 

Nana pouted, she did not know that the second maknae was a good observer. She even stated her habit when she had a problem. Impressive!

 

“And I notice your impression when I played the piano just now. Your face totally changes. “She flinched and her eyes were bigger as she was shocked towards E-Young’s statement, making the petite girl throwing her head back, busted out laugh. Maybe her reaction makes her laughed like that. How did she know that? Did she some of…

 

“No, I’m not like that, unnie,” She grinned when E-Young deny her question even before she finishes her lines. But, wait; it was just her monologue though. How the hell she knows that?

 

“How?”

 

E-Young scoffed, “You’re just plain predictable, unnie. And I’m a good observer,”

 

Nana puckered her lips, imitated the latter lines, mocking her in a teasing tone.

 

“Unnie,”

 

“Hmmm,”

 

“If it is a man problem, then I’m glad. Finally, Nana unnie has a boyfriend,” Nana bits her lower lip, trying to not respond to any of the latter gibberish. “And there’s no perfect relationship exist in this world. Quarrels between lovers are normal. And the important things are forgives and forgets. No need to drag the problem any longer caused who knows, it will make the relationship become more complicated. Men and women are different. Men take everything easy, talking without thinking. In some relationship, men tend to be possessive over nothing…”

 

She paused again, Nana raised her eyebrows as a sign for her to continue it, “In a conclusion, forgives and forgets are important.”

 

Nana laughed then, making the petite girl looked and her and grinned while scratching her nape. Maybe thinking whether she was telling some funny story or not.

 

“You’re funny, you know. You’re talking too much and your conclusion is only that. Aigooo!” Nana stifled her laugh but only to laugh again when she saw E-Young face. This little girl know nothing about love yet she confidently talking like she had enough experience.

 

“Cute,” Nana blurted that out, making the latter grimaces in shyness. More like she was embarrassing with her so-called-advices just now. “But, nonetheless, thank you,”

 

“I’ve done nothing unnie. I’ve talking gibberish and it did not helping you at all, “Nana slammed her upper body at the seat, and completely settles on the seat.

 

“For me, you makes me realized something though,” She said.

 

 

From: Chanyeol

I’m sorry for everything. I know I’m partly fault for the gap in our relationship, I know you’re sad and I’m sad as well. So, instead of acting cool, let’s talk and settle everything.

 

 

From: Chanyeol

I have something for you. Make sure you have time to watch it! KBS Gayo Daechukjae.

 

 

From: Chanyeol

I Love You. You know it right?

 

 

She received that just now, when she was unlocked and locked her phone screen. E-Young was right, maybe forgives and forgets would reduce her heartache.

 

____________________________________________________

 

 

A/N

Honestly, I’ve fail my own mission. I aim for 10k words and above but I fail miserably. I just can write about 9k, if I’m not mistaken..haha..Hmm, so the first chapter is already done, how is it? Is it okay for you guys? I think a lot in order to write this chapter and when I’ve done it, I keep thinking whether I want to upload or not. But, here is it, I updated the first chapter. I hope you guys will not bashing me cause I change too much for Chanyeol’s personalities. How come he ended up being heartless like that? kekeke

Anyway, I will make up for it in the next chapter. I think next chapter will be my last chapter. Huuu..