It was a torture to see his crush mumbling another's person name as he kissed him. It was painful and also a nightmare for him. Sehun stared at the ceiling of his bedroom, plain and dull ceiling just like his life. The dullness in his heart, it worsen by the name that escape Jongin’s mouth. Emotionless, that was the students called him but if they could read Sehun’s heart they would take back the word, if only they knew how much it actually hurt. The pain on his body had soothed down but the pain in his heart, it never soothed down it worsen instead. Day by day, he kept breaking himself, staying alive for that one person but what would he do if the reason he stayed was also the reason he wanted to be dead?

“Sehunnie!”

Sehun jerked his head to his door, hearing loud scream from the other room. He rolled down from his bed, standing on his feet as he hurried out of his room. Before walking to the latter’s room he glanced at the clock. 6am, he just realized he didn’t sleep since Jongin came with Jaehee.

“No! Hun!”

The thought were shook out of him by the scream, it was getting louder. He rushed to Jongin’s room, pushing the door open with strong force only to be greeted with the sight of his friend trashing on his bed, calling out his name. Sehun walked to the bed with his shoulder slumped down, he climbed on it kneeling in front of Jongin before grasping the latter’s legs.

Jongin tried to kick his legs, trying to release himself from Sehun’s grip but he couldn’t do it. With a sigh, Sehun shifted closer to Jongin, kneeling in between his legs before bringing his hands on Jongin’s legs to his hands, pinning Jongin’s hands on the bed.

Sehun leaned his head closer to Jongin, stopping at his ear, his mouth close to Jongin’s ear. “I’m here. I’m always here. You are safe now.” He whispered as he released Jongin’s hands when he soothed down from the nightmare. “You are safe with me.” He added as he brought his hand to Jongin’s hair, brushing it gently.

He pulled his face from Jongin’s ear as the boy relaxed by his voice, no longer tensed in his touch. He sighed in relief as it was easier this time. He shifted on the bed, legs stretched down as he turned his body to the left as he rested his head on Jongin’s thigh on the left side. He was still in between Jongin’s legs, hand draped around his thigh, resting on it.

It had always been this way, Jongin and his never ending of nightmare which only Sehun could soothe down and Sehun companying Jongin after that, not because the boy wanted it but because Sehun just liked doing it. He remembered when Jongin stayed in his friend’s house, leaving Sehun alone at the dorm, till he was called in the early morning by Jongin’s friend, asking him to come as Jongin kept shouting his name out.

Sehun chuckled at the memories, since that day Jongin had never sleep at his friend’s house, even if he did, he would bring Sehun. They could never be separated, each need other's company, without Sehun nobody would snap Jongin out of his nightmare and without Jongin, Sehun won't be hurt. 

"Sehun stop." He muttered to himself. 

To dart his thought from the thing that would hurt him, Sehun thought of the kisses they had, all the kisses they have shared and the hugs. But much to his avail, it only hurt him more. Tears welled in his eyes before bringing his hand to rub the tears away but it won't stop oozing out. Sehun sighed as he shifted his head comfortably on Jongin's thigh, the tears slipping past his face, dripping on Jongin's thigh, soaking it a lil. 

He closed his eyes slowly, his lips curled into a small smile as he drifted himself to sleep, escape room for his dull life.

Sehun roused from his sleep as he felt the shaking. He opened his eyes slowly, slightly groaning at the shake under his head before straightening himself, grumbling at his sore back. He rubbed his eyes with his hands as he turned to Jongin, who were already awake, face scrunched as his other hand rubbing his forehead. 

"What?" Sehun asked as he put his hands down, glaring at Jongin who disturbed his peace.

"Hurt." Jongin muttered as he leaned his head back on the headboard.

Sehun let out a loud grunt as he climbed down the bed slowly,  walking out of the room to take a glass of water and painkiller. He walked back to the room sleepily, he wasn't sure what time was it but it was surely noon. He plopped next to Jongin, handing the painkiller first. He watched as Jongin plopped the pill in his mouth before handing the plain water which Jongin quickly swallowed before shoving back the glass in Sehun's hand.

"Thanks." Jongin mumbled as he leaned his head back on the headboard,  closing his eyes slowly. 

Sehun let out a sigh as he rose from the bed with the empty glass with him but paused as Jongin gripped on the hem of his shirt. He turned his back, looking at the brunette strangely. "What now?" 

"Stay." Jongin's grip tightened on his shirt as he squeezed it.

"And watch you sleep? Yeah right." Sehun rolled his eyes at his friend's word.

Jongin tugged his shirt. "Just stay." 

"Fine." Sehun mumbled as he plopped back on the bed, Jongin's hand rested on the bed as he released Sehun's shirt. Sehun stared at his friend who was staring back at him. "What?" 

"Jaehee didn't like me." Jongin suddenly blurted out as he hung his head down. His lios protruded in a sad pout.

Sehun clenched his fist at the name. "So? What does it have to do with me?" He said through gritted teeth.

"I just want to tell you and let you have victory party knowing that nobody likes me." Jongin smiled faintly.

Sehun held the urge to smash Jongin's face with his fist. "That's all?" 

"She..she said..I..don't love her enough but I really do..she said it on our first date can you imagine that?" Jongin muttered slowly, his voice slightly breaking.

Sehun wanted to scoff at Jongin but he held it back. "That's her reason for I don't like you. You can go search for another person." 

"I can't." Jongin sighed. "I just can't.  I really love her and I don't think I can loe anyone than her."

"Just go search for-"

"I said I can't!" Jongin yelled at Sehun's face, cutting him. "I thought you were my friend but you never understand. Can you at least try to understand me?" 

Sehun scoffed at Jongin's words. "You think I don't? I'm experiencing it and well have you ever asked how I feel? Have you ever try to understand me? No!" Sehun slammed the bed with his palms. "You are an Jongin. You are."

Jongin's eyes widened, shocked by Sehun. "Well..you never tell me? You can tell me but why do you keep it to yourself?" Jongin said, fighting Sehun back.

"I did! I always! Ugh you-" Sehun breathed heavily before rosing from the bed. "Just whatever. Settle everything yourself. I'm done with idiot like you." Sehun grumbled as he stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut harshly not minding whether it will break or not. 

 He stormed to the living room, setting down on the couch as he buried his head In his palms. He let himself cry, the sobs muffled by his huge palms. Jongin was an idiot and Sehun hated him for that one thing, how Jongin could talk comfortably about Jaehee in front of him, it only hurt his heart more, one more word from Jongin, his heart would break for real.

As his head were buried in his palms, a muscular arms circled around his waist before he felt a weight on his lap. "I'm sorry." Jongin muttered slowly. 

"Go away." Sehun said as he raised his head from his palms, pushing Jongin's head off him with his hand.

"I'm really sorry. Really really sorry. Forgive me Sehun, don't go. I need you. I can never live without you." Jongin murmured as he tightened his grip on Sehun's waist. 

A heavy sigh escaped Sehun's mouth before bringing his hand to brush Jongin's hair. "Me too. I'm sorry." Sehun muttered as he lowered his face to Jongin's head, pressing a light kiss on it before pulling away. 

"I should have understand you, selfish aren't I? I kept telling you my problems but I have never heard of yours." Jongin released a sigh as he plopped next to Sehun on the couch, arms still wrapped around his waist.

"Yeah. Really selfish." Sehun mumbled before resting his head on Jongin's shoulder.

"So tell me." Jongin nudged his rib.

"I love you." Sehun confessed as he nuzzled his head in between the crook of Jongin's neck. 

Jongin rolled his eyes. "Yeah I love you too so tell me." 

"I love you so much." Sehun confessed more as he leaned closer to Jongin's neck before biting it, it extra hard.

"O...of..course...ah.." Jongin moaned as he pushed Sehun. "Don't do anything now tell me?" 

Disobeying Jongin's words he leaned back to the crook of Jongin's neck, leaving a soft kiss on the area he had just marked. "Aren't this nice?"

Jongin pressed his finger on the spot that had been marked, hissing at the pain. "It hurts er. Why do you have to release your needs on me? Go get yourself a partner." Scowling at Sehun. 

"Like I said I love you." He smiled, before grasping the sides of Jongin's face. "Have I ever stop loving you?" He leaned his face closer before locking their lips together, pressing his lip on Jongin gently,  he nibbled on Jongin's lip asking for an entrance but the boy remained still so Sehun his lip, grinning as the boy moaned, his mouth wide enough for Sehun to insert his tongue,

But before Sehun could do it he was pushed away. "Sehun!" Jongin glared at him, rubbing his mouth. "That's disgusting." His face scrunched in disgust.

Sehun's heart officially broke. He rose from the carpeted floor. "Okay." He muttered, turning to walk away.

"Wait why aren't you telling me anything?" Jongin's voice stopped him.

Sehun spun back, looking at Jongin in disbelief. "I love you?" Sehun furrowed his eyebrow, giving Jongin obvious hint.

Jongin snorted. "I love you too now tell me."

"Wow you are nut." Sehun scoffed as he turned his back on Jongin.  "Let's talk about this later." He muttered. He ignored the pain in his heart as he stormed to his room.

I want this to be longer... but wow running nose and sore throat really weakened my body so I'm very sorry for this really short short and rushed update.