After spending two months in despair, I took out the dolls. Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the number days when we were in love…

“One… Two… Three…” That was how I started to count the dolls…
“Four hundred and eighty four… Four hundred and eighty five…” It ended with 485 dolls.
I started to cry again with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly and then suddenly…

“I love you~, I love you~” I dropped the doll in shock.
“I…. lo..ve… you??” I picked up the doll and pressed it's stomach.
“I love you~ I love you~” It can’t be! I pressed all the dolls on their stomachs.
“I love you~”
“I love you~”
“I love you~”

Those words came out non-stop. I… love you… Why didn’t I realize that? His heart was always by my side protecting me! Why didn’t I realize that he loved me this much? I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it’s stomach. That was the last doll. The one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. I recognized the voice that I was missing so much.

“Jo… Do you know what day is today? We’ve been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn’t say I love you…. Um… Since I was too shy… If you will forgive me and take this doll, I will say I love you everyday till I die… Jo… I love you…”

The tears came flowing out of my eyes. Why? Why? I asked god. Why do I only know about all this now? He can’t be by my side but he loved me until his last minute…

For that reason… To me… It became courage… To live a beautiful life.

If you love someone, let him/her know. Live a life bravely and truthfully and you will have no regrets.