A/N: There is one use of profanity in this chapter ^^; 

 

 

 

*~*

 

 

Sunggyu whistles while walking home, his fists stuff in his pockets. It’s almost instinct to turn right at the intersection, and walk straight ahead until he sees Saehee practicing archery. He realizesthe bad habit too late when he’s walking down, halfway down the street. He debates whether to turn back or continue.

 

He hears the cheers of twenty people and looks to his left – where Saehee’s archery range is. He sees her, pulling her bow back with that same concentrated expression he saw seven months ago. He remembers her telling him that she had a tournament a while back. He doesn’t know how or why he forgot, but he thinks it’s working. He’s finally forgetting her after a month’s worth of suppression (He calls it suppression but Myungsoo argues and calls it avoidance. He also comments that Sunggyu’s not being very enigmatic and even Sungyeol notice that something’s up).

 

She releases the arrow and it hits the center yellow region. More cheers are heard and a prominent figure stands up, shouting his lungs out. Sunggyu could tell that it’s Woohyun immediately and Saehee smiles back, confidently.

 

Sunggyu decides to turn back, even if it takes a longer time, he has to. He can’t let a month’s work go to waste because of impulse. If Sunggyu had been better at controlling himself and his feelings,then this mess wouldn’t have started.

 

 

*~*

 

 

Saehee doesn’t know what’s wrong. She feels hurt at Sunggyu’s not so subtle, avoidance. It hurts her even more when she sees Sunggyu walking away from the archery range. She stood up midway, ready to wave or smile, whatever comes to her mind first, only to sit back down at his dispersing figure. “Is something wrong?” her teammate asks and she shakes her head.

 

“No, I’m okay.”

 

Her opponent hits the bull’s-eye mark and she gives Saehee an arrogant smirk. Saehee just stares at her; she’s not giving her two year champion title away that easily. She stands up when it’s her turn and receives Woohyun’s thumbs up. She makes a little note to ask Woohyun about Sunggyu later.

 

She lets go of her bow and sees the arrow hit the red region, an advantage for the other team. She sees her coach frown in confusion. She usually never slips, well, not until now. She looks back to Woohyun and he smiles, encouragingly. She nods, a bit disappointed – not about her shot but Sunggyu leaving.

 

 

*~*

 

 

“Come on Junior Champion,” Woohyun grabs her hand and opens the door for her.  

 

“Geez Woohyunie,” she coos as he grins from ear to ear, “Don’t be such a sap.”

 

“I’m so proud of you,” he jokes in a crying voice as he pretends to wipe tears from his eyes.

 

“You’re not the one who raised me, why should you be proud?”

 

“Because I’m the man you love the most.”

 

Saehee tries not to gawk in disgust at how blatant he is with his feelings. She likes it, but at the same time, she has difficultly trying to string the words together to form an articulate sentence, let alone a sentence that could be up to par with his feelings.

 

At night, she would wonder how Woohyun and her could possibly be. With their different personalities, she wonders why Woohyun? She likes him – maybe, even love. Times with Woohyun are simple but they’re memorable from their crescent eyes to their shy confessions. She loves the simplicity of it.

 

“You know Woohyun, you’re really likable.”

 

“I know. My five ex-girlfriends will tell you the same.” He smirks.

 

“Holding hands in kindergarten doesn’t mean you dated,” she remark with a laugh.

 

“It does,” he insists.

 

Saehee rolls her eyes. She looks back at the day, at the tournament and remembers the questions. The questions that wanted answers, the questions that needed answers. Now. “Woohyun, uhh... Is Sunggyu busy lately?”

 

Woohyun looks pensive, “He’s staying after work because a group release their repackage album and the store’s trying to keep up with the demands. What was the song called? Always Mine? You’re Mine?”

 

 “It’s ‘Be Mine,’” she corrects, “And that was the original album.”

 

The original album Sunggyu gave her with his staff discount. The album that’s still on her desk, where she stares at it every day.

 

“Is it Paradies then?” **

 

Saehee couldn’t believe it. Woohyun just called it Paradies. “It’s Paradise!”

 

“Defensive,” Woohyun rolls his eyes, “I didn’t know you were such a fangirl.”

 

Sunggyu knew.

 

 

*~*

 

 

Sunggyu sees Saehee at Woohyun’s locker the next day. She looks aloof, scary even but he continues the path to his locker regardless. As much as he wants to avoid her, he can’t be late.

 

“Hey,” he says, “Woohyun should be coming late; he has an errand for the music teacher this morning.”

 

“I wasn’t looking for him,” Saehee says, looking straight into Sunggyu’s eyes.

 

Sunggyu looks away, “Congrats on your win yesterday.” He doesn’t know why he’s continuing the conversation, he should be ending it but the will to do so was nonexistent. Or maybe there’s a force that’s omnipotent to that will and Sunggyu doesn’t have to guess what it is. It’s love. Maybe because of love, he just wants to talk to her, to hear her voice.

 

“Were you there yesterday?”

 

He shook his head, “No, I had to work. This reminds me, I change my shift so I don’t think I’ll be able to see you during practice anymore.”

 

Saehee crosses her arms, mad. She saw him, she knew she did. But he’s here, denying it so easily. She wonders if he’s been lying to her all of the other times when he directed her questions regarding student government towardsthe grade representative or when he said he’s too busy to see the new exhibit. She felt her heart beating riotously from the disbelief that Sunggyu’s straight out lying to her.

 

“Sunggyu, you’re a horrible liar.”

 

Sunggyu tenses up, and he knows her to know what she was implying. But he wasn’t willing to admit that he lied. “Look Saehee, I don’t know what’s happening –”

 

“I don’t know what’s happening either, Sunggyu. Your text messages are careless; you’re always too busy to talk to me unless it’s about student government. What’s going on?”

 

Sunggyu bites his bottom lip, he was fighting a losing battle and he had to flee. It was funny how she had this effect; this one minute conversation is going to ruin everything. Maybe he didn’t forget about her after all. “Nothing’s wrong Saehee, you’re over thinking.”

 

Saehee nods and he sees the flickering urge to lash out at him, to reprimand him that something is wrong, definitely wrong. Sunggyu braces himself to be burnt. It shouldn’t hurt if he’s mentally prepared.

 

“Bye Sunggyu.” Saehee found it within herself to say goodbye, to tell Sunggyu that she’s leaving – something Sunggyu never took the liberty to tell.

 

Saehee turns around and feels the tears well up. She brushes them away with the hem of her sleeve and decides that maybe, she’s not feeling so well and should head home. She doesn’t know why, but it really hurts – a hundred times more than one's month period with Sunggyu avoiding her and a thousand times more than the time at the archery range when he left without a goodbye. She doesn’t want to lose Sunggyu – but she doesn’t know why.

 

Sunggyu watches her shoulders tremble. He’s relieved that the school’s known as a ghost town in the morning, it could spare her some privacy. He curls his hands into fists, fighting the drive to comfort her, to hold her back and spill the truth but that would ruin everything. The most Sunggyu could do is watch her and hate himself.

 

He turns around, sombreness eating away at his footsteps. He faces Myungsoo and Sunggyu sees a flicker of himself in Myungsoo’s eyes. He looks pathetic.

 

“What happened?”

 

“I screwed up, big time.”

 

 

*~*

 

 

Saehee doesn’t go to school that day and Woohyun tells him that she’s sick. Sunggyu and Myungsoo don’t comment that they saw her at school in the morning. It’ll only stir up trouble and they didn’t need the extra trouble straining their relationship.

 

Myungsoo decides to sleep over at Sunggyu’s house that night. “There’s nothing wrong with liking Saehee.” Myungsoo says, bringing his hands behind his head.

 

Sunggyu shakes his head, “Everything’s wrong with liking Saehee. For goodness sakes, she’s Woohyun’s girlfriend.”

 

“I know but it can’t be helped, right?” Myungsoo’s words echo through the silence.

 

“I tried to prevent it but so much for that.”

 

“So what’s going to happen now?”

 

“Well, I think Saehee ended our friendship today. So that’s the end of that.”

 

“Are you okay with that?” Myungsoo looks at Sunggyu to only find blackness in the room. Sunggyu’s thankful for the darkness. He knew that he can’t hide under Myungsoo’s diligent eyes.

 

“I’m absolutely okay with that.” Sunggyu lies.

 

Myungsoo sighs, and mutters a good night. Sunggyu’s torn between love and friendship and honestly, Myungsoo would be too. Myungsoo doesn’t want to see his friend bruise from all the fighting. Sunggyu’s not meant to fight. He’s frail, brittle to the bones. Sometimes, knowledge isn’t power, its destruction.

 

 

*~*

 

 

Sunggyu slumps into his couch. He’s surprise he manage to survive all of the awkward glances from Saehee all week. He hears the doorbell and sighs. Peace wasn’t expected, he should have known. He opens the door and finds Woohyun who latches onto Sunggyu, sobbing.

 

Sunggyu, surprise, kicks the door close and pats Woohyun on the back. Quiet sobs echo as Woohyun tightens his arms around Sunggyu. Sunggyu hugs Woohyun, and feels his shirt damp from his hot tears but that was the least of his concerns. “What happened?”

 

“Sae – Saehee broke up w—w—with me.” He sobs harder. Sunggyu stands there, daze. He screwed up, not only for himself but for his best friend, Woohyun.

 

 

*~*

 

 

“What happened?” Sunggyu asks yet another time when Woohyun’s calm down and a box of tissue is used. He continuously gives him reassuring pats to help but he doesn’t think it makes a difference.

 

“I don’t know. That’s what irks me.”

 

“Did she say why?”

 

“She said she’s unsure of her feelings.” Woohyun sighs and runs a frustrated hand through his hair, “I don’t know what happened, Gyu. Everything was good until she got sick that morning.”

 

Sunggyu feels his inside drops at the mention. He couldn’t help the heat from spreading either, the wave of guilt. He was getting burnt and he doesn’t think he can handle it. He wraps an arm around Woohyun’s shoulder, “I’ll talk to her tomorrow to see what’s up.” It doesn’t take twenty text messages and online messages from Saehee to get Sunggyu to talk to her but it only takes a sobbing Woohyun to drive him to his death.

 

Woohyun looks at him, tears threatening to brim again. “Thank you Gyu, thanks so much.”

 

“Don’t thank me.” He really shouldn’t. He’s just happy Woohyun’s still here.

 

 

*~*

 

 

Saehee isn’t surprise to see Sunggyu at her locker. Her heart flutters a little when their eyes meet and she sees him squirming under her gaze.

 

“Saehee, what happened?”

 

Saehee’s hand shakes on her lock as she struggles to remember the digits. “I realize that my feelings weren’t as strong as they initially were...”

 

Sunggyu hesitates to ask why, he doesn’t want to know why, he’s scared to know why. Saehee looks at Sunggyu, indecisive. She feels her fingernails sinking into her palms.

 

Sunggyu sees her shake, from anger, from defeat. He hates this and almost misses their friendship in the past six months but it’ll lead to terminal problems he isn’t sure he could solve. Sunggyu isn’t a protagonist where he’ll find his happy endings in those fairy tales, he doesn’t make the right choices, he just doesn’t want to screw up anymore than he already has.

 

“I know you’re here because of him,” Saehee hears the bitterness in her voice, something she didn’t know she had. He would never be there for her, even after all her cries and desperation. They’re nothing compare to his friends. He loves his friends; he could sacrifice everything for them, even himself. Saehee’s not dumb, but she is dumb in terms of love. She hates herself for not noticing either. The random goads to call Sunggyu, to tell Sunggyu things she didn’t tell Woohyun, staying later for practice just to see him, it all meant something. She thought it was her desire to be his friend but she refuse to believe that it was love. She couldn’t, not when she’s with Woohyun.

 

“Woohyun’s devastated.”

 

Saehee closes her eyes, she expected this. She wouldn’t break up with him because of her frivol changes of feelings. She thought, long and hard for a week. Contemplating here and there for the right choice. She doesn’t know if it’s the right choice but she can’t be with Woohyun when she likes – loves Sunggyu even. She can’t be jumping ships.

 

“I can’t be with him,” she looks up at Sunggyu who’s just as torn as she is. She knows he feels the same, he realize his feelings a month earlier than she did and acted on it. “Sunggyu, I know that I love you.”

 

Sunggyu’s knees shake and he feels himself breaking. The inevitable happened. This entangled mess that he brought upon himself. Amidst the feelings of regret and guilt, there was happiness blooming majestically. He covers his mouth with his hand to cover all of these feelings. He failed, after a month of suppression, he failed. The urge to reach out was so strong. He still loves her, so much.

 

“Sorry Saehee, I don’t have the same feelings as you do.” Sunggyu practice these lines over and over again yesterday, to perfect it, to make it believable but even he didn’t believe himself.

 

Saehee’s livid at Sunggyu for lying, for constantly lying to her and himself. “Sunggyu, you can’t keep doing this.”

 

Sunggyu has to. “I’m going to go first.” He doesn’t wait for a respond and when he’s certain that she can’t see him anymore, he runs to the washroom to splash water on his face. He needs the sheer coldness to bite through his nerves, he needs to start thinking thoroughly so he doesn’t end up hurting the people he loves most. He thinks he’s breaking and the sound becomes more and more apparent.

 

 

*~*

 

 

When Sunggyu has vocal classes in the afternoon, he takes a detour to the school. He doesn’t particularly know why but from the past three years at this school, he’s grown fond of it, attached almost. Growing into his fourth year, he doesn’t feel the pressure at all, only happiness. When the chance is given, he’ll rather waste an extra minute or two of just walking by the old building than spent it on homework or video games.

 

It feels empty, seeing the plain field bare.

 

 

*~*

 

 

Myungsoo sees the three muddled in love. Woohyun goes into some depression state for a month, a solemn smile whenever he sees Saehee. Everyone’s attention would be towards Woohyun that they miss Sunggyu’s pained expression. Myungsoo would give him a pat but Sunggyu would push him away, saying that nothing’s wrong.

 

Myungsoo doesn’t talk to Saehee but he could tell she was desperately trying to hold herself together. Woohyun had the advantage of breaking down into tears in front of them but Sunggyu and Saehee didn’t.

 

 

*~*

 

 

Sunggyu drags himself to work. He had to change back to his usual shift because after a month with working with the new shift, the colleague he switched with wanted to switch back due to the inconvenience. Sunggyu could agree or find a new job; he wasn’t taking the risk so he agreed. Walking home from work, he felt more at ease. His old shift was more opportune and easily pliable to adjust. He walks down the archery range. He only realizes that he’s there when he sees an arrow shoot through the air and sighs. Do old habits last forever?

 

He notices that the arrow hit the blue region, and realized that it wasn’t Saehee that shot it. Out of impulse, he called out to the girl and asks where Saehee is. She looks at him strangely. At this point, Sunggyu doesn’t know what pride means.

 

“Saehee’s sick today and told me that I could practice during her time.”

 

Sunggyu nods.

 

That night, he contemplates with his finger hovering over the send message.

 

“Hey Saehee, I heard that you’re sick. Get well soon.”

 

Can he text her? He questions. In the end, he leaves the text message unsent and in his draft box to rot away.

 

 

*~*

 

 

They all decide to stay at Hoya’s house since Hoya’s parents are out for the long weekend. Their nights consist of watching movies, though there was more popcorn throwing, drawing on Dongwoo’s face as punishment for sleeping the earliest, and collapsing on their sleeping bags.

 

At some odd hour, Sunggyu thinks it’s around 3 A.M., he stirs in his sleep and wakes up to find one of them missing – Woohyun.

 

It doesn’t take him long to realize that he’s out in the porch. He looks like he belong to some melodrama, with the wind threading through his messy locks and a grave expression on his face while he looks past the distance – which isn’t much, it’s just the houses across the street.

 

“What’s up?” He sits on the porch swing, causing it to rock.

 

“I just remembered that it’s been two months since we’ve broken up and,” he hesitates, “I’m not that sad.”

 

Sunggyu nods. At least one of them was coping.

 

“I guess it’s a phase, you know? The phase after a break up but I didn’t think it’d hurt so much. God, it was unbearable.” He chuckles and leans back, causing the swing to rock even more.

 

Sunggyu smiles and pats an arm around his shoulder, “I’m proud of you Woohyunie.”

 

“I know, but you know what’s weirder?”

 

Sunggyu shook his head.

 

“I don’t think I’ll be that hysteric if Saehee found someone else – I mean, I’ll be jealous or whatever, but it’s expected. I’ll be genuinely happy for her but I think deep down, I’ll be wishing that it was me to make her happy.”

 

He looks at his best friend. He didn’t think Woohyun would be so...understanding of Saehee if she found someone else. His best friend’s matured now but Sunggyu can’t fathom how he’ll react if he found out that Saehee and his feelings were reciprocal. Would Woogyu end? He hopes not.

 

“You’ve matured, Woohyun.”

 

 

*~*

 

 

Sunggyu doesn’t know the definition of ‘not being friends.’ It’s somewhere between a stranger and enemy. Saehee doesn’t loathe him, he hopes not. But they’re worst than strangers because their feelings get in the way. He can’t talk to her because she speaks with her eyes; he can’t smile at her anymore because he knows she’ll smile back with a polite one, not the sincere one he’s been seeing for four months. He realizes that he doesn’t want to lose her. Maybe a colleague would do.

 

“Hey Saehee, are you –”

 

“Sorry, I have practice today.” Saehee slings her bag over her shoulder, drops a frigid smile and leaves. 

 

Ouch.

 

 

*~*

 

 

It continues like that for days. Nods of acknowledgement and aloof smiles to mask the awkwardness. Woohyun seems to be improving as he congregates the strength to grin at Saehee who smiles back at him. They don’t talk but Woohyun takes it as a step to friendship as oppose to a romantic relationship.

 

Woohyun can take the first step and Sunggyu’s taking steps back.

 

 

*~*

 

 

“Sunggyu!” Hoya’s voice resonates and Sunggyu catches the football in time before it meets his eye. He stumbles back from the impact and Hoya runs over.

 

“Are you okay?”

 

Sunggyu nods but his finger’s throbbing from the slight pain, “I’m okay, just a little tired.”

 

Hoya narrows his eyes, “You’ve been tired a lot more often. Are work, school and being president catching up to your stamina?”

 

Sunggyu shook his head and lied. He wanted to faint.

 

“I’m okay, really.”

 

Unanswered questions tend to do that, they kept him up at night wondering about the possibilities.

 

 

*~*

 

 

Sunggyu and Saehee being together isn’t impossible, right?

 

 

*~*

 

 

“Kim Sunggyu,” he looks up to Sungyeol crossing his arms, cheeks puff, a seemingly upset expression on his face.

 

“Hmm?" He looks back at his notes until a hand slams down, crumbling it.

 

“Lee Sungyeol, what is it?”

 

“Do you expect to look after us when we’re all old and wrinkly?”

 

Sunggyu tilts his head, thinking. That thought hasn’t crossed his mind before but it wasn’t an impossibility. But then all of them should be settling down by then, so he wasn’t really needed. Plus, he thinks he’ll be too old to look after a riot of 6.

 

“I don’t think so, why?”

 

“Then why are you still avoiding Kwon Saehee?”

 

Sunggyu stands up, causing the chair to scrap against the floor and looks around hastily. “Sungyeol, let’s talk about this somewhere else; somewhere more private.” He hisses through grit teeth.

 

“Boys’ bathroom.”

 

Sunggyu nods and gathers his stuff. He gives Sungyeol a little glare in the process but the stubborn choding stands his ground with his arms cross.  

 

When Sungyeol check that the stalls were empty (he didn’t have to, no one’s at school at five), he turns back to Sunggyu, incensed.

 

“Gyu, why didn’t you tell us you like Saehee?”

 

Sunggyu shrugs, it’s not that he didn’t think it was important, he couldn’t. “Yeol, what if I did? It would cause problems and it’s not worth it.”

 

Sungyeol sighs, defeated. Sunggyu was right, they couldn’t have done anything. They couldn’t give Sunggyu medicine to erase his feelings; they could only look at him worriedly every time Saehee and Woohyun are together. But facing all of this alone is a scary thing, and it hurts Sungyeol to hear that Sunggyu didn’t confide in him or the rest for that matter.

 

“We’re best friends; you’re supposed to tell us. Even if we couldn’t have done anything back then, what are you planning to do now?”

 

Saehee’s broken up with Woohyun, she loves Sunggyu, and he loves her, what is he suppose to do?

 

“How did you find out?”

 

Sungyeol arches a brow, perplex if Sunggyu’s genuinely interested or if it’s his smooth way of changing topics. He can’t decide. Sunggyu chooses when to let people read him, and right now, his gates were shut. “When you sleep beside Myungsoo, he tells you everything.”

 

Sunggyu could feel his eyes bugging out. He almost forgot that Myungsoo talks in his sleep. Sungyeol enjoys Sunggyu’s surprise face but decides to spare him some mercy.

 

“Relax, only I heard. Why did you tell Myungsoo and not us?” Sungyeol demanded and Sunggyu notice the hint of jealousy in his voice.

 

“I didn’t tell Myungsoo, he figured out.”

 

Sungyeol tsk’d. Myungsoo was always the one who notice everything and he always kept it a secret unless he decided to blurt it out in his sleep – which meant that the issue’s been bothering him for quite a while to case a mental strain in his mind. “So what are you going to do now?”

 

Sunggyu thought for a while, “Nothing.”

 

Sungyeol stares at him, agape, “Nothing?! Why?!”

 

“Because there’s nothing I can do, you know the saying: ‘Time heals all’?”

 

Sungyeol frowns, “Sunggyu, go after Saehee. Don’t let her go.”

 

“Woohyun.”

 

Sungyeol rolled his eyes. Woohyun mattered, he’s Sunggyu’s best’s friend, but Sunggyu is Woohyun’s best friend. He would forgive Sunggyu and Saehee if they ever got together. That’s how best friends work.

 

“Woohyun wouldn’t mind if you’re with Saehee. He’ll be mad for a while but you’re best friends, there’s supposed to be no hate.”

 

Sunggyu smiled, the dramas Sungyeol’s been watching has been doing him good. “I know but –”

 

“You don’t know how lucky you are that Saehee’s still waiting for you. If I were her, I would slap you and leave you to die alone because you know what? You deserve it Gyu. But because you’re my best friend, I don’t want to see you destroying yourself. I want to see you happy.” Sungyeol exhaled and inhaled, trying to catch his breath. Anger wasn’t good for the body but when Sunggyu’s being such a tard, it’s hard to control it. His ideologies are messed up and he’s too stubborn to think beyond it.  He’s too stubborn to even realize what he wants.

 

Sunggyu stood there, speechless. First, Sungyeol was so informal, he would have been smacked and kicked for it but since Sungyeol’s thinking for Sunggyu’s wellbeing (or so Sunggyu tells himself) he forgives him. Second, Sungyeol should stop watching more dramas. His mind’s not cluster with purple dinosaurs and pepperoni pizza anymore after all. Third, he’s thankful for Sungyeol and loves him – a lot.

 

“Sungyeol, you do know that I love you, right?”

 

Sungyeol nods, “And that’s why I told you all of that. Seriously Gyu, go after her. Woohyun’s going to be happy in the end because he sees that you two are happy. You guys are going to be drowning in your happiness and totally grossing us all.”

 

“What if he’s not happy though?” Sunggyu couldn’t answer that question. It wasn’t a question; it was a fact, a certainty. Woohyun’s going to be unhappy with him and Saehee together, and Sunggyu can’t take that. Even if he’s happy, to the point of sparing the rest of them from his naggings for weeks, he can’t stand the thought of one of them unhappy and knowing that he’s the cause of it. He can’t. Sunggyu can’t be selfish, it’s how he is.

 

“There are other fishes in the sea, Gyu. He’s not going to be depressed forever, he’ll find someone. You, on the other hand, I’m worried.” Sungyeol breaks into a laugh and Sunggyu doesn’t resist the urge to punch Sungyeol on the arm.

 

“Do you want to lose her?”

 

Sunggyu shook his head truthfully. He didn’t but at the looks of it, he was going to and he knows he’ll be drowning soon from his psychotic desires.

 

“Do you love her?”

 

Sunggyu thought for a while and nodded, no words could describe it and Sunggyu knew that he did but was too afraid to say it. The word, ‘love’ has many strings attach and Sunggyu was afraid of cutting them.

 

“Go then,” Sungyeol gave Sunggyu a little push.

 

Sunggyu stumbles a bit, confuse. “Where?”

 

“I did some research for you, she has practice. It ends soon; catch her before she’s gone.” Sungyeol waves as Sunggyu nods, thanking Sungyeol. He didn’t need a push, he just needed to listen to what he wants and right now, he wants to be with Saehee. He wants to see her and smile as they hold hands; he wants to call her at odd hours, talking about feeble things.

 

Sunggyu can’t run for an hour without complaining, but he can sprint fast enough (he hopes) to catch up to Saehee.

 

 

*~*

 

 

Fifteen minutes later, his sprint turns into a jog and into fast-walking. When the destination came, he was finding it difficult to breathe and took another minute to catch his breath for his face to flush out the red.

 

The verdant scenery welcoming his vision told him he was near, so near, yet so far. Soon, he sees the archery range and the emptiness hits him again. He waits silently outside the fence and watches as Saehee draws her bow back and stares at the target. She releases the arrow and it hits near the center.

 

He wishes that he could be like Saehee, someone who can distinguish between personal feelings and business. Even if she was hurting from this mess that he created, she still found the concentration needed for archery practice and matches. Maybe that’s why he needs her as vice president, she can help him with the most unbiased opinions and isn’t afraid to chastise him.

 

She beat him to it two months before and he wasn’t going to fall behind anymore. He’s going to catch up to her.

 

 

*~*

 

 

Silently, he watches as her coach gives her pointers and she nods compliantly. She looks so calm and compose, so far from him, so different. The times when she dash out of the meetings for archery touches his heart. She seems so perfect.

 

When her coach disappears with just her cleaning up her bow and arrow, he musters the courage to step up. She hears him and turns around. He sees the revelation in her eyes that soon morphs into happiness that wanted to burst along with the swivelling pain.

 

“Hey,” he kicks at the small pebbles, still not finding the courage to look into her deep chasm called eyes.

 

She nods, “Hi." 

 

Sunggyu digs his hand in his coat pockets and kicks at the pebbles some more.

 

"Were you watching the whole time?”

 

He shakes his head and takes a few steps forward until he’s right in front of her, forcing her to look up at him. She wills her heart to stop the unsteady beats giving away her reserved facade. She can’t let two months of efforts disperse in this thirty second conversation. But like Sunggyu, she knows she’ll fail. It’s only a matter of how long she can stand her ground.

 

She doesn’t breathe because her breath gets caught in as he throws his arms around her. She feels her arm twitch, she wants to hug back but she doesn’t know if he’ll leave her, if he’ll choose his friends over her again. She’s tired of waiting, of trying.

 

“I’m so sorry Saehee. You’ve been waiting for so long and today –”

 

She hugs him back. She doesn’t think he’ll leave her.

 

“I love you Saehee, I love you.”

 

 

*~*

 

 

“So what are we going to do?” Saehee ask, walking home with Sunggyu as an ‘.’ They don’t hold hands, but they walk with close proximity and she thinks that’s enough. Woohyun still dawdle in both of their thoughts. Saehee’s broken up with him but she could tell Sunggyu still feels like it’s a sin, he still feel writhe with guilt.

 

“It’s, ‘What am I going to do.’” He corrects and she frowns.

 

“Sunggyu, you can’t –”

 

“Saehee, I have to do it. If we both go up to Woohyun, he’s going to get mad before I even open my mouth. Please.” He begs and she never hears so much desperation in his voice before. She could only relent to him. He has to stop that habit though. He can’t be everyone’s shield, with him taking in all of the pain. He’s not that strong, no one is.

 

“But tell me what happens, okay?” She’s scared that he’ll run away from her. It’s still possible; Sunggyu’s love for his friends is already a school renowned fact. She wonders how much he loves her but it has to have some degree compare to his platonic love. He still went after her despite knowing about Woohyun. She could only believe in him.

 

He nods, “Promise. Saehee, thanks for waiting.” He leans down and pecks her lightly on the forehead. He’s already pushing the boundaries but he doesn’t care. He feels happy.

 

 

*~*

 

 

Sunggyu thinks at night, he’s going to tell Woohyun tomorrow. The earlier the better. He’s already nine months late; he doesn’t want to prolong it. The only problem is picking through the buddle of words. No words can soothe Woohyun’s pain but he can’t just go, “Yo Woohyun, I’m letting you know that I love Saehee.” That’ll result in a black eye if he’s lucky. Sunggyu rolls to the other side of his bed and falls asleep with those thoughts.

 

 

*~*

 

 

After work, Sunggyu half walks, half jogs to Woohyun’s house. His steps become less confident with every step he takes. He feels scared. When the house comes into view, he hesitates. Is this the door going to open the realms of broken friendships or a strengthen bond? The door opens, and Woohyun’s mother steps out. He breaks into a polite smile and says his formalities and she responds with a, “Hi Sunggyu, Woohyun’s in the kitchen.”

 

Woohyun pops up from behind her, and smiles at the sight of Sunggyu. His mother leaves to go somewhere; Sunggyu thinks he heard grocery shopping or something.

 

Woohyun shifts himself to let Sunggyu in but Sunggyu shakes his head, saying he’ll leave afterwards. Woohyun doesn’t understand what’s happening yet, he only knows that it’s not all rainbows and unicorns.

 

“Woohyun, I’m going to be frank with you.”

 

Woohyun’s smile fades and he looks into Sunggyu’s confound eyes. Sunggyu’s serious. The last time he was so serious with Woohyun was when Sunggyu admitted to taking his eraser in eighth grade – which was a total accident. He holds onto the door, “Go on.”

 

“I’m sorry Woohyun, I’m not sorry for my feelings but I’m sorry for letting it happen this way. I should have handled the situation better.” Sunggyu shakes his head and bites his bottom lips to stop the words. He doesn’t want to stir up Woohyun’s vivid thoughts.

 

“Sunggyu, what is it?” Woohyun tries to prepare himself for the worst but what’s the worst?

 

“Woohyun, I love Saehee. And she loves me.”

 

Woohyun falls through the ground, plunging into the core of the earth. If the pain from the break up was unbearable, then the pain from hearing Sunggyu’s confession felt like he was on fire. The blames burning his fingertips and his throat feels so dry. He feels betrayed, not betrayed that his best friend loves his ex-girlfriend, but that his best friend loves his ex-girlfriend and didn’t tell him. He feels so betrayed, it hurts so much.  

 

 

----

 

A/N: I actually really love this story and I think the storyline is coming along good! There's only one more chapter left and maybe an epilogue ^^ Also, I change the poster/background. It's rather creepy but the halloween photoshop tutorials were tempting me :) 

 

**The Paradies reference is when Woolim first uploaded the Paradise mv and accidently named it 'Paradies.' I just wanted to make a little joke about that :)