A loud sigh was heard in the entire room and I could only sigh too as I looked at him looking at me with a worried expression. "I just don't understand why.." he started.

"You love her since we're in high school, you were the couple that everyone envied to. And even after all the storms you passed through it, even when your mom was against your relationship with her, you fought for it.. Now why? In 13 or 14 years of being together.. why? Jackson, you're no longer a teenager. You have two kids for God's sake!"

"You don't understand."

"OH ENLIGHTEN ME! Understand What? I don't understand what Jackson? That you need to find yourself?  Is that it??" He snorted. "Find yourself my . Do you think I don't know anything about you and your secretary??!" He was mad.

"We don--"

"Shut up!!! Please!! It's not like nobody's telling me!"

I sighed. I couldn't even defend myself.

How? When all he said was true.

Yeah. For somewhat.. like 2 years? Suzy and I were going out- no it's not going out. It's  making out. Just to let out my frustration. Just to release my stress.

That's one of the reasons why I want space.

Not because I have come to like her, but because.. I seriously don't know myself anymore. I kept on asking myself who am I? what is Youngji to me? Why am i doing this? Why am I married to her? And why am I doing this? Am I still happy?

"Do you still Lover her? Huh?" He was calm, but angry.

"Do. You. Love. Her. Still.?" He asked again, with emphasis.

I tried opening my mouth, but all I could say was.. "Kangjoon-ah.. Please.."

And with that, he threw the nearest book he could pick up inside the office to me. "BULL!!! You know what?? For the first time in forever.. I would say.. You don't deserve her.."

"Kangjoon that's not what I need right now!"

"Then what? Do you want me to comfort you?" He smirked  "dream on!! Talk to me when your mind is clear." He was about to leave my office when he turned and said; "and let me tell you this.. Never go near her ever again, unless you could answer my question."

And he left with a loud bang of the door.

It's been a week since they left. Saying I don't miss her is a complete lie. We've been together since high school, we've been married for 8 years and survived everything for almost 14 years until I asked myself.. why am I married?

I didn't want her to get hurt with me being so out of it so I asked her for a space, which she gave it right away- surprisingly.

I am not saying that I don't love her anymore. It's not that I don't want to be with her anymore, but if you're going to ask me about how I feel about her and about being with her.. I'm afraid I couldn't answer you. Though I still care, though I would still look in every empty bedroom at home to see if she's there. Though I still wake up every morning looking forward to eat her home cooked meals..

I miss her.

After all, she's my wife.. after all she's my only bestfriend and aside from all that. She's my confidante.  She's more than just any label you could come up to.

It's been a week. And I haven't heard anything from them. I tried texting her but she didn't care to send any reply. Maybe she's trying to cope up of what had happened.

A sigh escaped from my mouth as I remembered that night when she took all her belongings and our kids with her to stay with her parents. I could feel my regrets, the pain that's creeping up into my heart.. but I think this is the right decision I've ever come up to in our relationship. I think this is the right thing I've ever done in my life.. not for me, but for her sake.
 

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