Jessica's haunted by the things she misses and the times her name doesn't fill her mouth. A word for the way that it feels is something all the combinations of the letters doesn't seem to fill properly.  

Life can feel so wonderful with a cup of hot chocolate and a pair of arms to hold you tight. 

What's the point of it now? A sad smile makes it way across her features. The cold permeated through the windows and even though the heater was switched on, the difference it made was minimal. Lately, it feels like she's been running in circles. It feels as if she's crumbling a bit more with every turn. 

The lights change to red and she skids to a stop. Scrolling through her phone for her Christmas playlist, she quickly selects a song and the melody of Mistletoe starts chiming through the speakers as she prepares for the green light. 

The road was wet as hell and she remembers Krystal's concerned voice reminding her to drive safely. Jessica sulks a little harder; the younger Jung couldn't spend Christmas with her this year. She's busy preparing for the year end music performances, something Jessica missed greatly. It was annoying and she hated dancing and singing in the cold but lately she's realized anything is better then spending time alone. 

Anything is better than being alone. Loneliness is a solitary drug. It's necessary, however, in excess, you eventually get used to the peace, you crawl into this hole whenever it's disrupted or threatened. 

Jessica scoffs at Bieber whiny crooning about his 'shawty'. Love songs were overrated and dumb in her opinion.  

The sky is dark and she's just so cold. Her boots crunches the gravel beneath it as she hastily gets out of the car. Juggling her groceries in one hand and pressing the button for the lift with the other, waiting impatiently but the lift door cranks open unhurriedly. 

The lift dings when it reaches her floor. Stepping out, Jessica turns the corner but jerks to a stop. She back-peddles. This isn't right. It can't be. It's just a hallucination. 

Taking shaky steps forward, Jessica stops at the very same corner and peeks out from behind the pillar. The same sight greets her. 

Kim Taeyeon sitting cross legged outside of her apartment, a navy Blanc and Eclare scarf snuggly wrapped around her neck, curious eyes trained on Jessica, her lips forming into a pout.  

Seconds, minutes pass but none of them move. Jessica frozen in shock and Taeyeon, well Taeyeon was just frozen by the cold.  

"Co--Cold." Taeyeon finally says, teeth chattering. Jessica finally snaps out of it, quickly pressing the passcode to unlock the door. She helps Taeyeon up and brings her into the warmth of the house. 

Emptying the remaining contents of the non-fat milk into the pot, she waits for it to boil. Her hands start to fidget, combing through her messy hair, unnecessarily unpacking and packing the groceries. Slowly stirring the milk, she finally starts to add the cocoa powder.  

Placing the mug in Taeyeon's hands, Jessica takes her place beside the older girl. Her lips aren't blue anymore but defrosting seems to take awhile. "How long were you waiting there?" 

Taeyeon takes a gulp but flinches when the steaming hot liquid scalds her tongue. The younger girl frowns in concern and moves forward but Taeyeon waves it off. "A few hours? I'm not sure." 

"You could've called me." 

"Then it wouldn't be a surprise." 

"Coming home to find an almost dead body dying from frostbite blocking my front door, yeah, that would've been surprising." 

Taeyeon purses her lips and blows over the top of the mug before taking another sip. This time the drink soothes her. "Damn it why're you so hard to please? I bought your scarf and showed up at your door on Christmas." 

"You please well enough with your tongue...." Jessica trails off, chewing on her bottom lip. 

She's met with a shake of her head. "Don't even think about it. I'm mad at you."  

Jessica puts up an exaggerated frown and pouts excessively. Her voice exuding ageyo, "I'm sorry," she whines adorably but Taeyeon simply ignores her, melting internally at Jessica's hilarious attempts. Her thighs are prodded with by the pouting girl's foot but after a minute or two the prodding turns starts to hurt as Jessica starts to hit her. "Kim Taeyeon, you annoying piece of ."  

There's no way she'd continue to subject herself to anymore humiliating tactics, she's Jessica Jung, it hurt her pride to beg for forgiveness. She continues to shove and kick Taeyeon but all the older girl does is smirk and laugh. Placing the mug on the coffee table, Taeyeon grabs both legs, powerful hands pulling Jessica onto her lap in a swift single motion as Taeyeon crashes their lips together.  

The shriek that Jessica emitted allowed an easier access for Taeyeon to slip her tongue into Jessica's waiting mouth. Hands grabbling to hold onto the shorter girl, legs wrapping around her waist, Jessica kisses back with as much fervor, tilting her head their noses bump into each other. It was minus degrees outside but the heat shared between the both of them was overwhelming.  

Taeyeon feels the younger girl smiling into the kiss and cups her face gently. They break away for air, their foreheads still touching, bodies still intertwined. 

The smile on Jessica's face hurts to look at, it looks like her lips are about to split. This is the first time Taeyeon's seeing her smile as widely, teeth fully on display. It's probably wider then all the press photos in recent times. 

She tries to hide it, lowering her head and turning it to the left but every time she tries to force it down, she finds facial muscles betraying her and she ends up grinning even wider. Jessica finds it embarrassing, how a simple touch can reduce her into a love-struck grinning idiot and Taeyeon's knowing smirk wasn't helping the situation. Her cheeks burned as hands roamed around her back. Her own hands reach out to Taeyeon's nape, tracing absentminded circles. 

"You seem extremely happy this evening, Miss Jung. I wonder why." Taeyeon teases, fingers familiarizing themselves with Jessica's flat milky stomach. She pulls the younger girl closer, laughing when Jessica resists.  

Jessica rolls her eyes in mock anger but eventually allows Taeyeon to close the space between. She wants to reach out even closer, touch her, care for her, kiss away her scars of every lonesome night of regret that she knows Taeyeon has bottled up. "Welcome home."  

"This isn't home." Taeyeon begins but pauses when she feels Jessica tense beneath her, seeing the panic flash before her eyes. "No, no. Let me explain. This isn't home; you are home. Home is anywhere when I'm with you.  

"Don't leave me again. I don't need honeyed words or flowers of appreciation. I just want you, on good days and bad. You and a cup of hot chocolate." 

Flashbacks of the lonely nights Taeyeon has spent, desperately wishing she could reach out to Jessica replays and her heart clenches. "I won't. I can't."   

The snow falls gently, steadily outside, just like the kisses being made inside. Their hands are all over each other and limbs intertwined; they around each other like a ribbon. No one could tell where Jessica started and Taeyeon ended. 

"I love you." Jessica murmurs, filled with the taste of cocoa and Taeyeon. "Merry Christmas." 

Taeyeon looks deep into her eyes. Jessica is everything. A home, a shelter, a strong independent woman who she'll never stopped worshipping, made her knees weak. She was the sea, an enigmatic tidal wave. Jessica, the woman she can't help but love. "Merry Christmas too, my love."