The lights are dimmed, only the light in the center of the room remains illuminated; a long stretch that ends in a T-shape. Taeyeon's seated two rows from the back and she mutters a silent string of gratefulness as she removes her stilettoes which her feet should've been long accustomed to by now. Tiffany flanks her, eyes in deep concentration as the fashion show starts.  

Upon entering through the hallowed arches of the show's venue , she realized that her high score had been beat on one of her mobile games and her hands currently itched to reclaim her top spot. Taeyeon honestly couldn't be bothered if the dresses were 'ushering a new mood of elegant utilitarianism' or 'lace and beading encompasses the most decadent of detailing'. But she swallowed them down. She was invited by special request to attend. Her public image would come under fire if she forsakes the fashion show for a 'stupid' mobile game.  

Lies, Taeyeon knows they are just excuses.  

As much as she detests her current situation today's event is an exception. After all, she is attending Blanc and Eclare's first gala S/S collection held in New York. This has been Jessica's dream, and now she'll finally be able to showcase her hard work, her creations. Her beloved masterpieces that she choose over Taeyeon. Taeyeon and So Nyeo Shi Dae.  

Although Taeyeon knew that wasn't Jessica's intentions. She knew that the American values both equally but after sacrificing half her youth for soshi, the older girl knew she wanted to dabble in something new. 

She couldn't be the one to hold her back.  

Taeyeon didn't see anything special in fashion; it never interested her, but she saw the way Jessica's face lit up, saw her hunched over a sketchbook at 3 in the morning when they had to be at an event or music video shoot in a few hours and she knew that Jessica couldn't be held back. But yet Taeyeon knew that Jessica would place both feet in two separate boats, drifting in two separate directions.  

She was adamant on staying, so she was kicked out. The eight of them knew that a hard decision had to be made. Perphaps Jessica hating them for setting her free instead of Jessica hating them for holding her back was a better choice? 

The lights come back on and the Creative Designer struts down the runway; Mouth agape, Taeyeon can't help but stare awestruck, like how her fans gaze at her.  

Jessica Jung was radiating. Her hair was curled and side swept and finally sporting that perfect shade of brown that she had been desperately wanting to dye. Healthier and slightly chubbier, Taeyeon can't help but sigh.  

After all these years, Jessica Jung still has that effect on her.  

 
"Jessi!" Tiffany screams the second she reaches backstage. She runs and envelopes her fellow American into a hug that knocks the wind out of Jessica and she forces out a pained smile.  

Jessica truly is happy to see Tiffany but sometimes Tiffany reminds her of a hurricane. Always rapidly rotating, everything up in its path.  

"We didn't mean to startle you." Joohyun suddenly adds, it takes Taeyeon by surprise. She'd been so caught up in her whirlpool of thoughts that she'd actually forgotten about the maknae. "Is this a good time to talk? You seem busy." The observant maknae asks, noticing that Jessica isn't alone. Models and other industry players approach her and compliment the show. Joohyun looks at Jessica and overwhelmed is the world scribbled into every pore of Jessica's face, it she almost seems confused.  

"It's been hectic." Jessica offers. She can't seem to find the words to describe her situation. Sure, her trainee years were tenfold in terms of her life being hectic but yet....there were always hands that would reach out for her, should she fall. "You made it, Kim." 

Taeyeon snorts. "I'm only here cause you asked me to. Besides it's called Taetiseo, not TiSeo. I had no choice but to come."  

"You haven't changed." Jessica retorts acidly, wagging a finger adorned with silver rings at Taeyeon. But deep down she knows that she means the exact opposite. Although she'll vehemently claim otherwise, she knows the kid leader has in fact, changed. Taeyeon's like the sea; calm for a moment, ragging the next. Everything touches her, she's molded by every experience and adapts to them. Taeyeon constantly changes.  

"Unnie..." Joohyun interrupts, her eyes fierce, telepathically chiding Taeyeon, You promised us no fighting! 

"Don't in when the adults are talking." 

"You're the one that needs to grow up." The venom thick and oozing from Jessica's words. She folds her arms and Taeyeon can't tell if she's just kidding or serious. Thankfully, Tiffany breaks into a nervous laughter and steals back Jessica's attention. 

Taeyeon frowns and retreats back to the van where their manager was waiting. Winter in New York is nothing compared to Jessica Jung. 

She switches off her phone, placing it face down on the arm rest of the sofa. Swirling her glass of red wine, Jessica lets out a sigh. The hotel room she's housed in is huge. She's not used to being the only one. The darkness scares her a little. 

Taeyeon is a stupid , Jessica mumbles under her breath, like a mantra, like a prayer. Maybe one day she'll actually believe it. Maybe one day, her prayers will be answered. She does this often, mostly on days when she misses the dork.  

Especially, on days like today.  

Jessica sits in the hotel suite watching images flicker past the television screen, wasting time. Time. It seems to go awfully slow but yet...but yet in a blink of an eye it's been years since Jessica and Girls Generation existed in the same sentence.  

The telephone rings, startling her. She should've unplugged that cursed piece of technology for breaking the peace in the room. 

"Hello?" 

"Miss Jung, sorry to disturb at such a late hour." Jessica glances at the clock and she's surprised that it's already 2.30 a.m. "But you have a guest." 

"Who is it?" There's mumbling on the other line and weird jarring noises, then, "It's me."  

"Goodbye." Smashing the phone back into the receiver, her heart rate accelerating. What the hell is going on? What is she doing here? 

Jessica stares at the telephone, eyeing it like a ticking time bomb. Jessica knows her, she'll never take no for an answer. Jessica expects it but when the phone finally explodes she feels her heart rate spike again. Taking her time, Jessica gulps, tracing the shiny buttons on the phone.  

"Hello." The receptionist greets her once again when she finally plucks up the courage. "I'm sorry t--" 

"Invite her up." 

Jessica paces the room, walking onto the bed and then jumping off it, stepping into the toilet, slowly arranging all her toiletries when the door bell buzzes.  

She has half a mind to just leave the girl standing outside the door. But soon the sounds of pounding can be heard and Jessica rushes to the front door.  

Pulling the heavy door open, Taeyeon slowly comes into view. Dressed in black from head to toe, Jessica has to admit, Taeyeon looked good. 

"What do you want." 

"You, duh." Taeyeon states the obvious as she brushes past the younger girl and enters the suite. She examines the fridge, picking an apple out before rubbing the skin on her clothes, sinking her teeth into the fruit. "Nice place." 

"Don't you have a flight to catch?" 

"Don't you have a flight to catch?" The older girl repeats, directing the question to Jessica. 

The room is quiet for a moment, the same thought runs through their minds. They're both heading in different directions. They're both staring at the mess they made.  

"Tired?" Jessica offers and Taeyeon immediately nods. A chuckle escapes and Taeyeon shoots her a look as Jessica settles herself on the couch. She places a cushion on her lap and pats it and the older girl takes it as an invitation to lie her head down. 

Combing her fingers through Taeyeon's newly dyed black hair, it reminds her of the times when she'd do the exact same thing when the both of them couldn't sleep. Their eyes meet and a sigh leaves Taeyeon's lips. "Aren't you tired?" 

"I am. " 

"Sleep." 

"I'd rather watch you. It's been awhile." 

Taeyeon nods. "It has. But I don't want to sleep." 

"Why?" 

"I'll be waking up to a nightmare." They both know what Taeyeon's talking about. Waking up into a nightmare. Having to say goodbye again. They knew it all too well. There's no need to explain how exhausting it's been. How dreadful waking up has been. How it feels to be swallowed up by some kind of black hole.   

Reaching out to brush Taeyeon's bangs out of her face, she frowns when she notices the heavy eyebags on her makeup-less face. "How did you know I was staying here?" 

"Krystal. I asked her." 

"That kid." Jessica sighs. Her little sister has always been fond of Taeyeon. Sometimes she got jealous. Maybe Taeyeon would've made a better sister then Jessica ever did. "She's always liked you." 

"Who doesn't." 

She's immediately meet with a roll of the eyes. "I don't." 

"You don't?" Taeyeon chuckles and sits up. "All I can do is get on the plane later, fall asleep and dream of you, us and wake up and do nothing about it. Cause I do. I've always liked you. A little more then like. A hell more then like."  

She knows. Jessica knows. They fight and spit curses whenever they meet, they can seem like the worst enemies on earth but Jessica knows, knows what it's like to crave something so terribly; a touch, a kiss, a hand to hold, a bed to share with. "When can I see you again?" Jessica croaks after a minute of silence. 

"When do you want to see me?" 

"Everyday. Every goddamn day." 

The older girl nods. At that strange cold hour, her heart tightened and she asked herself if there was any point to it at all. "Soon. Give me some time." 

"Okay." 

 They don't exchange words after that, just enjoying the peace that they've sought for so long, even if its momentarily. For now.  

And when the phone call comes, signaling that Taeyeon has to leave, they both don't feel as heavy hearted. Jessica kisses her, gently and Taeyeon feels a sudden burst of energy. This reckless path, this treacherous slope, she was going down, with Jessica in tow.  

"I'll wait for you." Jessica murmurs, uncertainty laced in her words. 

"I'll come back for you." Taeyeon whispers the words, sealing her promise with another kiss. 

And on their respective flights, Taeyeon and Jessica fall into a deep slumber, as usual. The only difference this time was that their dreams weren't a treacherous, unrealizable daydream.  

It was a future to look forward to.