Kyuhyun forced another drink down his throat before slamming the shot glass down on the counter in his kitchen. He panted out a breath before giving the almost empty bottle next to him a hazy gaze. For the past few days, the brunette had been staying in his dorm drowning his sorrows in all the alcohol he had left. Kyuhyun finished off the red wine first, since that was what reminded him of Sungmin the most. He tried to push the thoughts of his best friend out of his mind, but not even drinking seemed to help. The other members had checked on him, warning him not to drink too much, since they resumed their Super Show tour soon after the holidays, but Kyuhyun didn’t listen; it didn’t matter at this point.

          He splashed more bitter, caramel colored liquid into the shot glass before downing it, feeling the alcohol burn his throat the whole way down. Thinking about Sungmin with someone else broke his heart, but what could he do now? He couldn’t control what Sungmin wanted to do, and if this Kim Saeun made him happy, then Kyuhyun would be happy, or at least act it as best he could. A sudden knock at his door caused Kyuhyun to jump in surprise before he looked over at the clock on his microwave that read 11:42 pm. Who could be wanting to visit him this late? Sighing, the brunette stood up from his stool and stumbled over to the front door, opening it quickly. To his shock, Sungmin was standing there. “What are you doing here?” Kyuhyun asked.

          “I came to get the rest of my stuff,” Sungmin stated as he entered the dorm.

          “You know where it’s at,” Kyuhyun muttered before walking back over to the counter to get another drink.

          After retrieving his things from his old room he shared with Kyuhyun, Sungmin reentered the living room area and observed Kyuhyun drinking. “Why are you drinking so much?” Sungmin questioned as he began to mentally count the number of empty bottles that surrounded Kyuhyun.

          “Why are you still here?” Kyuhyun snapped before grabbing a bottle and chugging down the rest.

          “Stop, Kyuhyun stop, you’re going over your limit,” Sungmin reminded as he tried to seize the bottle from Kyuhyun’s grasp.

          “What do you care?” Kyuhyun demanded as he pushed Sungmin back before turning and throwing the empty bottle against the wall, listening to the glass smash all over the floor. “Why do you still act like you give a about me?!”

          “Because you’re my best friend,” Sungmin replied.

          “Yeah, that’s all I’ll ever be,” Kyuhyun muttered as he turned his back to Sungmin and crossed his arms. “Is she better at than me?”

          “Kyuhyun, I’m not discussing that with you,” Sungmin firmly responded. “That’s private things that are to remain between me and Kim Saeun.”

          “I’ll take that as a no,” Kyuhyun smirked.

          Sungmin was silent for a moment before he bit his lip and asked “Why weren’t you at the wedding?”

          “I think you know why,” Kyuhyun stated as he closed his eyes; tears threatening to fall from them.

          “Well that’s pretty childish of you,” Sungmin stated. “Missing one of the most important days of my life, just because you don’t like my wife.”

          Kyuhyun quickly faced Sungmin and demanded “Do not ever call me a ing child. Would you rather me have gone and objected, because that’s what I was going to do if I had gone.”

          “I wanted you there by my side Kyuhyun, and you just abandoned me,” Sungmin replied.

          The brunette yelled “I wanted to be by your side, I wanted to be the one who you said ‘I Do’ to, I wanted to be the one to pledge to loving you forever, but no, you had to go marry a girl you barely knew for three months and look at me, your best friend and lover of eight years, like I was ing nothing to you!”

          “Kyuhyun, we had the conversation already, Kim Saeun and I have a special connection, and I love her –” Sungmin started.

          “Stop,” Kyuhyun interrupted. “I don’t want to hear this, not now.” Tears fell from the brunette’s eyes before he continued “You have no idea Sungmin, you have no idea what it’s like to hear that the love of your life is getting married and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. You have no idea what the feeling does to you; it’s like being stabbed in the heart from the inside by a knife over and over, and you can’t pull the knife out. You try to be happy for your love, but in the end you can do is cry.”

          As Kyuhyun stood there and cried, Sungmin approached him and placed a hand on his face, wiping his tears away with his thumb. “Don’t cry Kyuhyun, please don’t cry,” Sungmin quietly pleaded.

          Kyuhyun held Sungmin’s hand against his cheek as he took in his best friend’s touch again. “I didn’t want you to leave me, what did I do that made you fall out of love with me?” he wondered.

          “I didn’t fall out of love you with Kyuhyun,” Sungmin promised as tears began to spill down his own cheeks. “I still do love you, very, very much.”

          “Prove it,” Kyuhyun challenged.

          “How?” Sungmin asked.

          “Let me kiss you again,” Kyuhyun requested, running a hand through Sungmin’s black hair.

          “Kyuhyun I –” Sungmin started, as Kyuhyun brushed his lips lightly over Sungmin’s before kissing him fully.

          Sungmin felt his body become limp as Kyuhyun kissed him, pushing his tongue in between Sungmin’s lips to meet with his own tongue. Kyuhyun wrapped his arms around Sungmin’s body, sliding his hands up his back, feeling his best friend’s figure in his arms again. Pulling back slowly, Kyuhyun latched his mouth against Sungmin’s neck, kissing, , and biting at the skin he missed so much. Hearing Sungmin moan quietly seemed to fuel Kyuhyun more as he grabbed Sungmin’s face and kissed his lips again. When he finally stopped kissing his best friend, Kyuhyun Sungmin’s face and whispered “I love you Minnie.” Kyuhyun tugged at Sungmin’s shirt and added “I need you.”

          “I can’t Kyuhyun,” Sungmin responded quietly as he took Kyuhyun’s hands and pushed them away. “Not anymore.” The brunette stood there with a defeated look on his face before Sungmin leaned their foreheads together. “I’m sorry.”

          “We were supposed to be together forever, you and me, after we all retired from Super Junior, Donghae and Eunhyuk were going to announce they were a couple, Yesung and Ryeowook, Heechul and Hankyung, Leeteuk and Kangin were supposed to do the same; so were me and you,” Kyuhyun reminded in a whisper as tears flowed from his eyes and he Sungmin’s face.

          “I’m sorry,” Sungmin repeated. “I never wanted to hurt you; you were my first love Kyuhyun. Even though you weren’t my first kiss, you and I shared my first drink together, you were my first time, you were my first friend in the group, and you mean more to me than you think.” He slid a hand down and interlaced his fingers with Kyuhyun’s.

          Kyuhyun was silent for a minute before asking “Does she make you happy?”

          “Yes, she makes me very happy,” Sungmin confirmed.

          “Happier than I made you?” Kyuhyun wondered.

          “No,” Sungmin admitted after hesitating a moment. “I have to go now, but I’ll see you after the holiday at the next Super Show.”

          “You promise?” Kyuhyun asked.

          With a smile, Sungmin graze a thumb across Kyuhyun’s cheek and replied “Yes, I promise, we’re rooming together in the hotel.”

          Kyuhyun leaned down and kissed Sungmin hard once more. “I love you,” he whispered.

          Sungmin smiled again before slowly pulling his hand away from Kyuhyun’s and walking over to the front door, where he picked up the last of his things. He turned to face his distraught best friend. “Bye,” he muttered.

          “Bye,” Kyuhyun choked out before Sungmin exited the dorm. Once Kyuhyun heard the door close, he dropped to his knees and slammed his fists into the ground as tears welled up again. This would be the first holiday since entering Super Junior that he’d spend without Sungmin, but Kyuhyun had the next Super Show to look forward to. And at least he got to hold and kiss Sungmin once more, which was something he’d wanted to do for a while.

          Kyuhyun collapsed onto the hardwood floor and curled up in the fetal position, gripping his chest with a fist. “Stop hurting, stop it,” he muttered to his heart. Closing his eyes, Kyuhyun thought of Sungmin being back with him where he thought he should be, but that only made him hurt more. “Sungmin, Sungmin,” he cried, tears dripping onto the floor with a quiet splash. The brunette hoped that Sungmin would hear him and come back inside to make the pain go away; but the pain remained, and Sungmin didn’t return that night.