He sees her for the first time again when he is 19. For real this time.

His debut is coming up soon and him, Chanyeol, Kai and Sehun were chosen to cameo in TaeTiSeo's - SNSD's new subunit that consisted of Taeyeon and whoever the other girls were- new debut MV.  They all ran out the training room as fast as they could, eager to get away from the stench of sweat, tears and hard work. But mostly just because they wanted to meet the goddesses they'd only ever seen on TV. 

After getting to the filming set, having their hair and make up expertly done and getting into costume, all 4 boys were put on standby. Baekhyun literally cannot keep his together. He's got the jitters and is constantly craning his head and looking around to see if he could catch a glimpse of his goddess. He tries to be as casual as he can about it but no one can miss the way he slightly perks up whenever he hear footsteps coming towards him and visibly deflates when he realises the pair of footsteps did not belong to a certain beautiful goddess.

“Calm down, they might just think you're a sasaeng and kick you off the set,” Sehun snorts. 

Brat, Baekhyun thinks with a hmph, but that might just be the jealousy talking because the maknaes get more filming time with the girls than he does. But overall, Chanyeol gets about 1 minute in the video and Baekhyun doesn't think it's fair at all. In in a way it was expected, though, the giant's always been favoured and no Baekhyun is not being bitter. Inferiority just , but it even more feeling inferior to your best friend. Not because it just hurts him, but because it would hurt Chanyeol if he were to find out about his feelings and 'omg, yeol I'm so sorry.' 

When those glorious 5 seconds he gets to meet TaeTiSeo do finally come, he tries as hard as he can to keep his composure; aka making coherent sentences and not flailing around like a headless chicken with a hard on in his pants because he got to be in the same room as the woman of his dreams. Or cry. 

Byun Baekhyun. Do. Not. Cry. He thinks to himself, repeating the sentence in his head like a mantra, as the one and only Taeyeon shoots him a small smile. His eyes disobey him and become teary almost instantly but who, he wonders to himself, wouldn't cry if the person they worshipped through the screen of his computer were to meet him in real life and smile at him? Normal people would say that she was even more beautiful in real life, but Baekhyun would tell those idiots that they're wrong because she's ing ethereal. 

When filming wraps up, Baekhyun is on cloud 9. She looked at him. ASDFGHJKL. He'd always dreamed of the day he'd get to see the woman he worshipped in the flesh and god, he wishes he could touch that flesh, hold it in his arms and tell it – her – he loves her. But that's a little creepy so he'll hold back. For now. Instead he does a few jumps of happiness and skips all the way back to his dressing room.

In his scene he had to act like a top star while the girls stared at him in awe, but how the hell could that be right? It should be completely the other way around. He is not even worthy enough to breathe the same air as them – as her – and yet they're fawning over him in that scene? Sure, he might be exaggerating because surely the girls of SNSD do not fawn over anyone but he did try and act as cute as possible just in case.

“Are you alright?” a voice full of suppressed laughter asks from behind him as he tries his hand at performing a cartwheel. He freezes instantly – mid cartwheel because Byun Baekhyun is a huge fail – and crumples to a pathetic little heap on the ground, face first.

He knows that voice. He could detect it from a mile away. It's the voice that he hears everyday through his headphones, the voice he dreams of speaking to him, his name – ok keep it pg rated.

Baekhyun rolls over and faces her, literally flinching when they lock gazes because her beauty is just that radiant. His heart starts beating a thousand miles per hour, no this is not an exaggeration, Baekhyun swears on his mother. Oh, how the poor boy wishes the earth would swallow him up, but then again he would never be able to have actually held something somewhat resembling a conversation with her if it had.

She is staring at him now, the look in her eyes is hard to pin point but whatever. She's staring at him. 

All that is going through Baekhyun's head is 'I'm not worthy. I'm not worthy.'

He squirms and wriggles under her unwavering gaze, trying to think of something awesome to say that will totally charm her socks off-

“Um...I'm sorry,” he blurts out. His arm twitches awkwardly, splayed out above his head yet he makes no move to get up. 

Why must I be such a derp? Chanyeol's rubbing off on me.

This time she has her eyes morphing into pretty little orbs of mirth as the most beautiful and melodious of laughs escapes the confines of her pink lips. Baekhyun congratulates himself on sounding so poetic.

“You're quite strange, aren't you?”

And oh my gosh, Baekhyun's insides do a complete 180 degrees turn as his world comes crashing down because the love of his life thinks he's strange. Well, the world could come crashing down and he would still be splayed on the ground, staring up at her star struck.

'Get up, you idiotic potato!'  But his body does not seem to want to listen. He wants to say some smooth line, something smart and intelligent that shows her that no he is not strange but a fully developed and capable human being who is also completely capable of sweeping her off her feet and-

“I-I'm Baekhyun,” he says instead. Yup that works too. Her laughing fit finally comes to an end - Baekhyun kind of wishes she would laugh again, even if it was at his expense - and she offers him a sweet smile instead. 

“Hi Baekhyun, I'm Taeyeon.”

I know, he thinks.

“I'm in love with you,” he thinks he thinks but instead says out loud because he's a pile of ing dumb. Her eyebrows jump up in surprise and he immediately realises his mistake. “I-I mean I'm a fan...I'm not...I'm...sorry?”

'Yep, Baekhyun, she's never gonna fall for you now. Not like she ever was gonna. She probably gets that a lot from other fanboys.'

Baekhyun has the audacity to feel upset because he is not the only fanboy in the world that worships her and tell her he loves her because it makes him feel less special.

'Yep, you really are one special snowflake. In fact she's probably going to call security now and-'

To his complete and utter surprise, she smiles once more and her head cutely to the side. “It's ok, but are you going to get up?” It is only at this moment that he finally registers the fact that he's still lying on the ground. God, his face mimics a colour closely resembling that of a tomato as he jumps up onto his feet and offers her a sheepish smile.

Without a word, she walks towards him, until they're only an arms length apart. He briefly thinks she's going to slap him when she raises her arm and flinches, only to have her ruffle his hair with an affectionate smile.

“You're cute,” she says. Baekhyun temporarily forgets how to breathe. “I'll be cheering for you when you debut.” With one more blinding smile and a 'fighting' sign, she walks away, leaving behind a stunned Baekhyun. It was brief but the interaction has him feeling like he's on top of the world as he holds onto the ghost of the feeling her fingers through his hair had left him with. 

And with that one – what he thought would be their only – encounter, Baekhyun fell more and more in love.

Unfortunately he is not permitted to dwell on it for too long and he is harshly reminded of this fact when he is driven back to the company. Other than the fact that Kai saw the whole thing and will not stop teasing him about it, D-day is coming up and Baekhyun still can't get his footwork right.

Days are constantly filled with "Baekhyun do this step again", "Baekhyun focus, why can't you sing this note?" "Baekhyun, Baekhyun, Baekhyun". He just wants to run away from it all.

------

She sees him for the first time, doing cartwheels behind set. The only thing she can think of is, “what the hell is wrong with this boy?” but she can't help the smile that worms it's way onto her face. It reminds her of the past where she was nothing but happy, where she treasured every single moment on stage, in front of the camera and was engulfed in the feeling of love that she received from her fans. Now it all seems like a chore: singing, acting for the camera, just plain smiling. The weight of expectations are heavy on her shoulders and she briefly tries to remember what it's like to feel happy like the boy in front of her before realising she's long since forgotten that feeling. It's a thought that should scare her, but the fact that she's learnt to become used to it scares her more.

“Are you alright?” The words leave before she can catch herself. The boy crumples into a limp pile on the ground and she breaks out into a fit of laughter over how endearing it was.

Their eyes meet and his isn't the only heart that jumps out his throat. Time freezes for a moment and all she can see is sheepish grins, bright eyes and wow, there you are, I've finally found you. That thought is quickly - and quite abruptly - shoved to the back of her mind, though it is left to linger. Her eyes will not leave this bright and beautiful boy, though a second ago those orbs were tired and all but ready to shut and never open again for days once she gets back to her isolated little room. She suddenly feels refreshed and strangely warm. He is so full of life, happiness and laughter. It's like she's looking at herself 4 years ago, before the fame, before reading all those comments on the internet, before she lost the will to carry on singing just because she loved it.

“Um...I'm sorry,” he says and Taeyeon thinks he really shouldn't be. He's a breath of fresh air in her suffocated and closed off life. She wants to breathe in more, but that sounds a little creepy so she'll stop thinking about things like that now. God, Baekhyun doesn't even know that she's about as derpy as he is.

When he does eventually get up out of his awkward position on the floor, the tips of his ears turn a brilliant shade of red and she can't help but find him adorable. She suddenly feels free, a feeling she thought had gone dormant a long time ago. It startles her when she finds that she too wants to do cartwheels and yell at the top of her lungs and just sing for the sake of singing, not so she can get the notes right or entertain an audience. A part of her even wants to protect the light in the boy's eyes. She does not want to see it simmer down into nothingness like all the other hopefuls' had. She wants it to last, even if it because she selfishly wants to carry on feeling so intoxicated by his presence. She wants to believe that the world is capable of giving the purer souls a break. 

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