“Junmyeon.”

Junmyeon—somehow—knew he would hear that voice soon. Turned around slowly, his eyes caught Kai’s ones. “You left me when I fell unconscious? I can’t believe it.”

Kai smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry… I had something to do and it was really important…” he said, feeling rather guilty. “Were you okay? The electricity was back when I went, but…”

“I was okay, just making my roommate worried sick because he found me lying on the floor unconscious.” Junmyeon said sarcastically. “You could at least lay me on the bed, couldn’t you?”

“I’m sorry…” Again, Kai uttered his apologies. Those orbs showed sincerity, making Junmyeon sigh as he gave up.

“Forget it,” said the smaller male in the end. “Are you going home?”

“Well, yes. Are you not?”

“I’m waiting for my roommate to pick me up. He’s around here now, so yeah,” answered Junmyeon. His fingers played with the hem of his shirt before continuing, “You want to come with us? We can take dinner together…”

Junmyeon wasn’t sure why he asked Kai to join them at the dinner. Junmyeon had never wanted anyone to interrupt his quality time with Yifan, especially after Yifan decided to have a relationship with Yixing, but at the moment, Junmyeon felt like he had to repay what Kai had done to him in the previous night. The comfort feeling Kai gave was precious, something he had never felt for a long time.

But, Kai looked hesitant to say yes.

“Hmm… I don’t know, Junmyeon…”

“Junmyeon!”

Junmyeon moved his gaze to where the voice came from. Silver SUV was there, the window opened and Yifan waved his hand.

“Wait here, I’ll ask him if you can come with us.” Junmyeon threw a slight smile at Kai before half running to Yifan’s care. “Yifan! Do you mind if someone comes with us?”

“Someone?” Yifan cocked his eyebrows. “Who is that?”

“Kai,” Junmyeon didn’t know why he smiled when saying Kai’s name. “The one who was with me last night, remember?”

“Well, it’s not like I mind,” said the Chinese-Canadian male. “Where is he?”

Junmyeon turned around, pointing his finger to where Kai was standing. “It’s him.”

Yifan looked at where Junmyeon’s finger pointed at. There was a moment of silence when his eyes met the one who seemed to be the Kai guy.

“I don’t think he wants to join us, Myeon.”

“Why not?”

Yifan leaned his back into the driver seat. “I don’t think I want him to join us as well,” he continued in a stern tone. “Get in.”

“But, Kai—”

“Get in.”

Junmyeon huffed, knowing that Yifan couldn’t be argued. He threw his gaze at Kai, wanting to show the guy that he was sorry.

But, Kai wasn’t there anymore.

♦♦♦

It was lunch time when Junmyeon saw Kai’s back. It surprised him, since he used to meet him after work. To think about it, Junmyeon just realized that he had never seen Kai when the sun was still decorating the sky. Junmyeon chuckled at it as he thought Kai was like a ghost.

He followed the intern guy secretly, wondering where Kai would go. Looking from the direction, it seemed that Kai’s destination was the office rooftop.

He was right, though.

Kai pushed the door to the rooftop, letting the sunrays came through the crack of the door. Junmyeon smiled as he sneaked in after a short while—Junmyeon wanted to make sure that Kai didn’t feel his presence.

However, Kai wasn’t there when Junmyeon sneaked it. Blinking, he started feeling confused. Where was Kai? He was sure that Kai entered the rooftop—

“Junmyeon.”

The shocked feeling Kai caused right then became so familiar.

Junmyeon only had to move his eyes to his right to find Kai sitting on the floor, in the place which couldn’t be touched by the sun.

“Kai.”

Kai smiled. “Thought you would go outside to take lunch,” said the intern. “It’s rare to meet you around the lunch time.”

“It’s because you’re too weird to even buy something for your lunch.” Junmyeon quipped. He took a seat beside Kai, silently enjoying the soft wind caressing his cheeks.

“I don’t need it.” Kai threw his gaze far ahead.

“I like it here,” said Junmyeon as he straight up his legs. “Are you always here during lunch time?”

“Well, yes… most of the time.”

“I see.”

There was a pregnant pause between them. The wind still blew, like a big hand caressing their cheeks gently. The sound of crowds on the street could be heard faintly; it didn’t bother Junmyeon’s ears like it used to. Everything calmed him at the moment, even the loud horns of cars on the road. Everything felt so right, fitting in its place. Absentmindedly, Junmyeon closed his eyes, enjoying the moment.

“Why are you afraid of darkness?”

The eyes fluttered open again when the owner heard the deep voice breaking the silence.

“It’s phobia,” Junmyeon said. “I can’t remember how I could have that. I was a kid back then.”

“You know, darkness—”

“Embraces me in a very gentle way,” Junmyeon chimed in before Jongin could finish his sentence. “You seem to love darkness.”

Jongin tilted his head a little. “Hmm… I don’t know how to put it in words,” he said as he shifted slightly closer to Junmyeon. “I’m used to it.”

“What, darkness?”

The younger guy didn’t seem sure to answer it. He kept his mouth shut for a little while, as though he was thinking about the right words he had to say to explain. “I’ve been there… inside it… and it keep me safe. It shows me life… that I’m lucky to be here…”

Junmyeon blinked.

“Being in the darkness… I can be my own self. I can see my true light. I can see…” Kai laid his deep stare on Junmyeon’s eyes, “… your true light. Your true self…”

There was a silence coming between them once again, before Junmyeon letting out a soft chuckle.

“You’re really weird, Kai.”

Kai smiled at him—a small yet warm smile, which made Junmyeon feel his heart beating a beat faster.

♦♦♦

Yifan had been there in his car when Junmyeon came out of his office building. Junmyeon felt his feet walking lightly to approach the silver SUV and opened the passenger door, but his brain kept thinking why Yifan came without telling him first.

“I didn’t remember you said you wanted to pick me up this morning,” said Junmyeon as he pulled the safety belt. “Is it my memory getting worse or you’re the one who didn’t tell me first if you wanted to come?”

Yifan chuckled deeply. “Surprise, surprise,” he said with a smile. “I just met my client at the café around here, I wanted to call you, but then you came out first.”

The car started moving through the crowd of the busy road. Old songs played on the music player. They didn’t talk much along the way, only sometimes some trivial topic about their work today—“My boss asked me to join their family dinner, I think he wants me to marry her daughter.” Yifan said, which Junmyeon didn’t know how to respond—and that was all.

But then, Junmyeon brought that topic.

“Kai is a good guy.”

Yifan’s face showed an awareness when Junmyeon mentioned that name. His grips on the wheel got tighter as he looked at Junmyeon with the corners of his eyes. “Did you talk to him today?” he asked, his voice sounded cold.

Junmyeon noticed the changes of his roommate, but he shrugged it away. “I did. I almost forgot to take lunch because of it,” answered the shorter male. “He is a good guy, Fan. I wonder why you didn’t want him to join our dinner yesterday.”

“I don’t like him.” Yifan said shortly.

“You can’t say you like or don’t like someone if you haven’t even talked to him.”

“I can.”

“That’s unfair, you know. You’re judging him without knowing him,” Junmyeon crossed his arms in front of his chest, letting Yifan know that he disagreed with what the latter had said. “He even tried to calm me down when the blackout happened and you weren’t there. He comforted me.”

A loud sigh came through Yifan’s thin lips. “There’s something about him that I know and you don’t, Myeonnie,” said the blond-haired guy. “You’d better keep your distance.”

“Then what is that, Mr. Know-It-All?”

“He’s different, maybe dangerous. You have to be careful.”

Yifan raised the volume of the music, and Junmyeon knew he didn’t want to talk more about Kai.

♦♦♦

Kai had been a routine for Junmyeon. Meeting the guy in the rooftop was something that was more important than lunch. He sometimes brought his lunch to the place so he could spend time with Kai without losing his time for lunch—though he still wondered why Kai never wanted to eat with him.

It was safe being with Kai. Even though Yifan said that the guy might be dangerous, Junmyeon could feel that Kai was harmful. He was a little weird, honestly, but he never hurt Junmyeon. Kai had that warm presence, and Junmyeon was sure that Yifan was wrong. Junmyeon didn’t understand what Yifan meant by saying that Kai was different, and he decided not to think about it.

It was comfortable being with Kai.

“You keep your lights on when sleeping?”

As usual, Junmyeon spent his break time in the rooftop with the intern guy. He brought two tuna sandwiches and iced Americano, which would be eaten by him alone because, again, Kai refused to eat with him.

“Mhmm. My eyes won’t close if there’s no light. I don’t think I can even stay in the room for more than five seconds without screaming.” Junmyeon answered while munching his sandwich. “Are you sure you don’t want this sandwich?”

“No, thanks.”

“How about the coffee? Please do drink it. I can’t drink two large cups of Americano alone!”

“I don’t drink coffee.”

“I’m not going to sleep tonight, thanks to you.”

Kai smiled—not so—apologetically. “Why don’t you try sleeping with dim lights first?” he asked.

“I tried it already. There were two nights when I slept without lights on. No use.”

“Try it again tonight.”

Junmyeon huffed tiredly. “There’s no use, Kai… I’m hopeless, okay? No matter how many times you tell me about darkness embracing me in a very gentle way or whatever it is, it won’t change anything.”

“Just try it.”

“It won’t work—”

A hand on his head made him stop talking. The hand, which belonged to Kai, rubbing Junmyeon’s head gently as the intern smiled that smile he always gave to Junmyeon. “Try it tonight…” he said. “Try it until you don’t feel insecure anymore.”

“I told you I’ve tried it!” Junmyeon kept being stubborn. “It won’t work.”

“Two nights won’t make anything work, Junmyeon. Try harder.”

Junmyeon sighed, feeling annoyed because he knew Kai was right. Two nights wouldn’t change anything, he knew it clearly, but the terrified feelings made him give up easily.

Maybe he just needed to try harder.

♦♦♦

Yifan almost choked by his Coke when he saw Junmyeon the table lamp and let the room lights off. “Myeon…?” he called his roommate’s name. “You… are using the table lamp.”

Junmyeon, who sat on the edge of his bed, looked at Yifan with a hesitant expression. “Well… yeah. I want to try again. The doctor said that this could help, right?” he muttered.

“It’s been a while since you last consulted with your doctor. You want to start new session?” Yifan stepped inside and sat beside Junmyeon. “Myeon… go consulting with the doctor. Let him help you again.”

The latter ducked his head. “Not sure… I just wanted to start with this simple thing first.”

“But it’d be better if you talk to your doctor too.”

“Let me try this thing first, please?”

Yifan would never say no to Junmyeon if it was related to his phobia. If Junmyeon said he wanted to start from the simplest things, then Yifan would let it. If Junmyeon said he didn’t want to see his doctor yet, Yifan wouldn’t force him. Even though Yifan would be more relieved if Junmyeon wanted to consult with his doctor again, he understood that Junmyeon felt anxious every time he started a session with the doctor.

“Alright, if you said so,” said Yifan. “But if you can’t manage it, let’s see the doctor, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Okay…” The Chinese-Canadian male smiled slightly. He didn’t say anything, but his eyes kept following Junmyeon when the small guy lied comfortably in his bed, back facing him. He patted Junmyeon’s head, earning a soft hum from the other male.

“Yifan…” Junmyeon mumbled, calling Yifan.

“Hmm?”

“Kai encouraged me to do this.”

Yifan clasped his lips together tightly. “Why did you think I had to know about that?”

“Just wanted to tell you that he tries to help me,” Junmyeon closed his eyes. “He’s a good guy, far from dangerous word.”

This time, Yifan chose to remain silent.

♦♦♦

It’s cold.

Junmyeon was standing in a dark place, panting heavily. Many voices surrounded him, as though many creatures whispered into his ears. Junmyeon wanted to scream, but nothing came from his throat—like every voice would disappear into nothingness in that place, beside those unknown voices.

It’s really cold.

White fumes were formed every time he healed a breath. It was too cold—darkness was always too cold for him. His body shuddered; he was afraid. He wanted to escape. He wanted to be free from the darkness.

“Help…” His voice were shaking badly, he could barely hear his own word. “Help… I want to escape… help…”

Junmyeon felt his knees trembling and starting to give in. He fell down, not having enough strength to get up again. He hugged himself as the voices became louder, as though they wanted to swallow him until he disappeared.

“Help…”

Junmyeon closed his eyes, letting his fear take control of him. His mind was foggy, he couldn’t even think clear anymore. As he opened his eyes, many shadows stood around him, ready to kill him.

“Help…”

“Junmyeon.”

Junmyeon’s eyes slowly opened when a voice was heard faintly. “Who is that…?” he whispered weakly.

A hand came from nowhere, his hair gently.

“Don’t be afraid, Junmyeon…”

Junmyeon wanted to look up to see whose voice was that, but he was still too weak to even move his thumb. He could only give in to whoever it was, who tried to comfort him.

“Don’t be afraid…”

The hand stopped his hair. Instead, there were a pair of arms embraced him gently. He felt his body rocked from side to side, like a baby who was embraced by their mother’s arms. Junmyeon blinked twice before drowsiness consumed him.

“Darkness embraces you in a very gentle way…”

Junmyeon was too sleepy to reply, but one name popped in his mind.

Kai.

♦♦♦

Junmyeon opened his eyes when his alarm roared loudly. Knitting his eyebrows together, he made some soft noises before getting up. It was unusual for him to wake up because of his alarm—he usually woke up before his alarm could even make a single noise.

The sun had risen outside. Junmyeon squinted when he opened the curtains. Staring at the sky, he tried to recall what had happened last night.

He had a nightmare, the usual nightmare he always had when he slept without lights. However, something happened in his dream… and it felt so real.

“The hand…” he muttered softly. The hand felt so real when it his hair. Those arms… he could really feel that someone embraced him. And the voice which talked to him… he knew that voice. He heard it often nowadays.

Kai came last night… he helped me bear my fear.

Junmyeon sighed. He felt like he started losing his mind if he kept thinking that way. It was impossible for Kai to come. How could he get in? It was impossible.

It was just a dream. I was too tired…

Junmyeon heaved another sigh before walking outside, smiling at Yifan who was cooking breakfast for them.

It was just a dream.

♦♦♦

“I dreamt of you last night.”

Kai smiled and turned slightly to face Junmyeon. “Really?”

Junmyeon nodded. “Mhmm. I had a nightmare, but I don’t know why suddenly you came and made everything better.”

Kai chuckled as he leaned comfortably on the wall behind him. “So did you finally sleep peacefully last night?” he asked.

“I did,” Junmyeon answered. “It was really weird, you know… in my dream, you my hair… you hugged me… and it felt so real. It felt like… you really were there with me last night.”

“Hmm… is that so?”

Again, Junmyeon nodded. He shifted slightly, moving closer to the other male. “You didn’t sneak into my flat, did you?”

The bronze-skinned male laughed at that. “Why would I?” he said in between his laughter. “Do I look like a stalker or something in your eyes?”

“Well… not really…” Junmyeon felt heat crept on his cheeks when he continued, “B-But… I don’t think I’d mind it if you sneak into my flat, you know… as long as you my hair… a-and hug me…”

“ your hair… like this?” Kai moved his hand to gently Junmyeon’s soft locks, not even caring that he almost made Junmyeon stop breathing because of it.

“M-Mhmm…”

“And hug you…” A pair of Kai’s strong arms circled around Junmyeon’s tiny figure, drowning the smaller male into a hug. “… like this?”

Junmyeon’s body stiffed as Kai’s scent filled his nostrils, but after a while, it relaxed. Resting his chin on Kai’s shoulder, Junmyeon smiled.

“You’re not warm at all.”

♦♦♦

A month was gone in a blink of an eye. Junmyeon had been able to sleep with minim lights at night—the nightmares still came, but again, every time they came, Kai would appear in his dream right in time. Junmyeon still felt strange about it, but he chose not to think about it. No, he didn’t want to think of any possibilities about it. He enjoyed what he had right then.

Junmyeon didn’t want to lose everything at the moment, especially the feeling that slowly grew in his heart.

It felt like everything was okay. It was okay, until someone came to Junmyeon.

“Are you Kim Junmyeon?”

It was drizzling tonight. Junmyeon was at the lobby, waiting for Yifan to pick him up, when the woman first talked to him. Junmyeon looked at her in a puzzled look; he didn’t recognize who she was.

“Yes, I am. May I help you, Ma’am?” Junmyeon asked politely, trying his best not to give her an awkward smile.

“Ah, no… I just… I just wanted to meet you in person.” The lady smiled softly—sadly. “I’m Kim Kai’s mother.”

A/N: I know I told you that I would split this story into two chapters, but then... here you go! The story hasn’t completed yet! *sobs*

I’m sorry if this story isn’t so interesting; I think I’ve lost half of my writing skills. T.T

I hope you enjoy this, though! The next chapter will be the final chapter. I’ll try my best to update ASAP. Please do leave me a comment so I know what you think about this story. Do upvote if you think this story deserves it! ;)

So, see you in the next chapter!