Ugly Sweaters
Taoris Christmas Drabbles“Wow,” Tao says seriously. His lets out a slow, wavering breath that he swears is not actually a laugh. “You look really great.”
“I’ll kill you,” Kris promises dispassionately. “I’ll literally kill you.”
He’s dressed in a garment that might technically fall into the category of “sweater,” but which is more reminiscent of an extremely bedazzled wild animal. It’s made of thick, course wool, which adds no less than four inches to Kris’ overall circumference, and is adorned with what appears to be the entire contents of a craft store. Baubles, tassels, ribbons, googly-eyes on the cartoon reindeer depicted on the front; it appears that no accessory was spared in the sacrificial rendering of the garment.
Still staring at himself with a look of horrified revulsion, Kris raises his hand and disbelievingly flicks at one of the silver, sewn-on bells near the collar of the sweater. It rings delicately and he lets out a small, pained, “Oh, my God.”
“You know,” Tao muses, walking up to stand beside Kris where the latter is looking into their bedroom mirror, “It’s actually pretty flattering.”
The sentence---the lie; in putting on the sweater, Kris put on forty pounds---stretches Tao’s already brittle self-control. The last word ends up garbled as he breaks into laughter, putting a hand on his stomach to support himself.
“Remind me again,” Kris demands loudly, over the raucous breaths Tao’s heaving in, “Why I’m wearing this.”
“Because my grandmother made it for you and you’re trying to make a good first impression.”
The look that crosses Kris’ face suggests that he considers alienating a member of Tao’s family a fair price to pay for removing this sweater as soon as possible.
“What I don’t understand,” he mutters, tugging uncomfortably at the clothing, “is why she felt the need to make me a sweater and not you. You’re her grandson.”
Tao snorts loudly. With his shoulder, he pushes off from where he’d been leaning against the mirror and walks over to his closet.
“What makes you think she hasn’t?” He pulls out a sweater almost identical to the one Kris is wearing, apart from bearing the image of dancing elves as opposed to psychotic reindeer, and holds it up as proof. “She makes me one almost every year,” he continues, tossing the sweater on the bed and going back to the closet to unearth more, adding them to the growing pile, “I’ve got tons of these things shoved in here. You should see the ones she made me in high…school…”
He trails off, purple sweater with red and green fringe attached to the hem in his hand, and stares back at Kris.
“What?”
Kris continues grinning, the first time he has since first putting on the sweater. “You have sweaters like this.”
“Yes…” Tao agrees. “I do...”
Realization hits Tao and he begins frantically shaking his head, even as Kris nods and takes a step toward him.
“No, Kris. No way. Forget it.”
“You know,” Kris muses thoughtfully, advancing on Tao, “I think it would only be fair for you to wear one of these sweaters, too. I mean, after all the hard work your grandmother put in to making them, it seems only right. Don’t you think?”
Tao’s back hits the wall of his bedroom and he holds the sweater in his hands up like a cross in front of him. “I’m not doing it, Kris. I paid my dues in ugly sweater wearing when I was a kid. I’ve earned a Christmas get-together free of embarrassment.”
“Uh huh,” Kris agrees. In a quick movement, he grabs Tao’s upper arms and easily pushes him onto the bed, climbing on after him as Tao laughs and playfully bats him away. Holding Tao pinned where he sits on his hips, Kris grabs the sweater in Tao’s hands and pulls it over his head, leaning down to kiss him when his head, hair mussed, reappears. They laugh against each other’s mouths, both adorned in hideous sweaters and both suddenly uncaring.
“You look great,” Kris breathes against his mouth and Tao laughs, kisses him back harder.
A/N: Thank you for reading and happy holidays to everyone! I hope you all have an amazing, happy, safe end of December!
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