“That’s all for today’s meeting. And with the new management, we expect much better performance from this moment onward.”

I stood up and bowed slightly along with the other attendees as the president director ended the meeting. One of my senior congratulated me for being chosen as the new chief of internal audit bureau.

“You got one of the fastest promotions in this company’s history, Yamada,” he said. “Good luck.”

“Thank you, it’s also because of your help, Shimada-san,” I replied politely.

We parted ways toward our respective office. When I spotted the name board displayed on the desk of my new office, I sighed mildly. They said I was lucky because I had been only working for five years for the company but had managed to carve my way to the top management.

“Five years?” I pondered over it while leaning on my chair.

Time flies so fast. In a couple months, I would turn to be twenty nine years old.

I looked at the photo I put on my desk. It was the newest picture of my family: I, my wife, and my daughter. Just as I thought about them, my phone rang with a call from home.

“Tou-chan,” a cheerful voice greeted right after I picked up the call.

I smiled knowing who was in the other end of line, “Yes, Sora-chan?”

“When will Tou-chan come home?”

I recalled my schedule for the day then answered, “Maybe a bit late at night. Tou-chan have a lot of work to finish. Gomen ne.”

There was a brief silence before she replied, “Oh, okay. But tomorrow can we eat breakfast together?”

I heaved a sigh inwardly. I realized that lately I had only a little time for my family that eating meals together became a rare occurence. I often left for work even before Sora woke up and returned home after she went to bed. I hadn’t been a good father these past weeks.

“Alright. Tou-chan will wait until you wake up tomorrow,” I decided.

“Really? Yeay, thank you, Tou-chan!”

I smiled to myself hearing my three-year-old daughter’s happy voice.

“Oh, Tou-chan, Ka-chan calls me.”

“Alright. Be good, okay?”

“Uhn! Bye bye Tou-chan.”

“Bye, sweetheart.”

I ended the call with light heart. Sora could always be my encouragement to work hard. I immediately grabbed a file, intending to work more efficiently so that I could go home earlier.

However, it seemed that going home early would be impossible for me in the end of operational year like this time, especially as the chief I had to review my subordinates’s works before we compiled them to be annual report and presented it to the board of directors.

To my surprise though, the light in the living room was still on when I came home in the middle of the night. I saw a familiar figure sleeping on the sofa while a pile of paper spread on the table. I picked a piece of them and recognized that it was her teaching material. I looked at the sleeping figure of my wife while mildly sighing. She might fall asleep when reviewing material for her class the following day, but then I got another assumption. She was not a clumsy person. She would not sleep outside her bedroom unless there was a reason for her not to go back to her room though she felt sleepy.

I was curious, but it could wait till tomorrow. I didn’t want to wake her up, thus I carefully lifted her up in my arms and carried her to the bedroom. She was so light. It was a rare chance for me to take care of her like this because she was always independent and refused to be helped.

After settling her down the bed, I gathered all her belongings from the living room. I thought she might look for them when she woke up tomorrow. Adjusting the blanket over her, I leaned down and left a peck on her forehead. It was a small affectionate gesture that I could only do when she was not aware because if she was aware, it would be a forbidden gesture.

I promise I will never touch you.

My own voice from the past rang in my head.

I knew I had broken that promise, but I couldn’t help it. Words of love were impossible to be said for now, but my heart hurt whenever I saw her dull eyes. I wished I could give her a little comfort, even when she was asleep and not knowing about it. It was enough for now.

“Sleep well, Mirai.”

Turning the light off, I closed the door and headed to my own bedroom.

**********

I was greeted by a smell of food when entering the dining room in the morning. I saw Mirai setting the table for breakfast.

“Good morning,” I greeted smiling.

She looked up, forcing a small smile, “Morning. Breakfast is ready.”

“Thank you. Has Sora woke up already?”

“Sayumi is giving her a bath.”

“She is so early.”

“I told her to come earlier because Sora told me you promised her to eat breakfast together.”

For a while, I did not say anything. I noticed she was hesitantly wanting to say something. True be told, she started, “Last night, I was waiting for you.”

My question from last night was answered without me asking.

“Sorry, I returned so late last night,” I apologized. “Work is getting tough.”

“It’s alright. I knew you’re in hectic period of your work. I... just want to talk about something.”

“What is it?”

“It’s—“

Mirai did not have a chance to finish as another voice cut her off.

“Tou-chan!”

From across the room Sora ran to me, and I instinctively opened my arms to welcome the little one.

“Hm, you smell nice, Sora-chan,” I said, leaving a peck on the top of her head.

Sora giggled, “Sayumi-neechan washed my hair already.”

The said caretaker offered him a smile before excusing herself to tidy up Sora’s bedroom.

“You didn’t greet Ka-chan?” I asked as Sora kept hugging me.

Pulling away from me, Sora climbed down my lap and jogged briefly toward Mirai. “Ka-chan, ohayou.”

Mirai picked Sora up to her lap, replying while smiling, “Ohayou. Ka-chan cook your favorite menu.”

Sora looked at the table and squealed happily, hugging Mirai, “Ka-chan is the best!”

I smiled seeing the two interacted. When Mirai glided closer to the table with her wheelchair, I immediately stood up to pick Sora from her lap then made the little girl sit on her own chair. Soon, we ate breakfast while Sora kept chiming in between moments. I loved the feeling though I knew it was not supposed to be mine. This family was not mine no matter how much I wanted it to be.

“I’ll return late again tonight,” I said when I was about to leave the table. Sora was in her bedroom, preparing for school with her caretaker.

“Wait, Ryosuke-kun,” Mirai called out, and I always cringed inwardly at the way she called me. Ryosuke-kun. That honorific reminded me where my place was in her life. I would never ever back to be Ryosuke to her.

 “Oh, yes, what you were about to talk before?” I asked, sitting back on my seat.

“It’s... I have signed a long-term contract with the music school.”

Mirai had been teaching piano in the music school nearby since last year as a temporary instructor.

“Oh, congratulation,” I exclaimed sincerely. “I knew you’re a wonderful teacher.”

“Thank you, but that’s why I think,” she casted her gaze away before turning back to look at my eyes. “We should file the divorce paper soon.”

It was as though a thunder blarred in my ears. I was dumbfounded.

**********

I took out a picture from the drawer in my old flat. When I married Mirai three years ago, I bought a simple house that would accommodate her wheelchair so that she could easily move, but I kept my tiny flat in the third floor of an apartment near my office.The purpose was so that I would have a place to be alone whenever I felt life pressuring me too hard, just like this time.

It had been hours since working hour ended. I did not return home. Home. That word ignited a sting in my heart.

I refocused my gaze to the picture. It was taken more than four years ago. It was a picture of me, and Mirai, and Hasegawa Ryuu... in their wedding. Back then, I actually did not feel like coming, but Mirai’s genuine happy smile when she gave me the invitation forced me to bear with it. She did wish for my blessing, and I had disappointed her so many times in the past. I did not want to add another reason for her to hate me. So I came, and meeting Ryuu personally had me admitted that he was the best for Mirai. At least he was way better than me. I could tell he loved Mirai so much, though I was not sure if Mirai loved him as much, but the more important was that she gave herself a chance to be happy. Her wedding signified that she could eventually let go of her feeling for me.

However, I was confused. That time, aside from being sincerely happy for her, there was another seed of remorse sprouted in my heart.

“Be a good man, Ryosuke. Don’t be like your father.” My mother’s voice echoed in my head.

I regretted for not being able to fulfill Mom’s wish. I failed to be a good man. I had become a jerk, just as my father was. That realization caused me to owe another apology to someone else.

“You play with my feeling, Ryosuke. I hate you!”

A familiar woman’s voice resonated and I still remembered the sting of a slap on my cheek though it had been years.

Haruna

I broke up with her for r