Chapt 1

Summer 2016

"Mwo? She's gonna leave in an hour? Why do just tell us now? Are you kidding?" Jungshin almost shout to his buddy when Minhyuk told him the news.

"Ssshh... Molla!! I just heard that from Soojung, Jungshin ah. But she said that it must be positive since Sooyeong Noona announced her marriage with that actor." Minhyuk said in a half of whisper. He knew, a pair of ears were also heard their conversation.

"But... New York? Jinjja? She didn't tell anything when we met yesterday morning. Is she really have to go this far?" Jungshin tried to held his anger and still.. controlled his tone coz the man at the other corner started to threw his glances toward them.

"I know, it's ridiculous! Soojung said, what'd been happened to SNSD recently was made her so depressed. She's the maknae, you know? And since her eonnies put their own business on their top priority, i do understand, how lonely she must be. But it depressed me for more...  why don't this couple solved their conflict? He end up being a lonely and now she is not better than him. Is that ego more precious than the love they had fought before?"

This time, Minhyuk threw back the sharp glances to the man at the other corner.

"Geumanhae. We never knew, what was actually happen between them since Yonghwa Hyung never told us. Either with Seohyun. However close she is with you, still.. we're adults. There must be something that they couldn't share it with us." Jonghyun finally opened his mouth and put an advice.

"Maja. You won't have any idea, how many times i tried to asked her about this. She just always smile without telling me anything.  This 6 months is like hell for us. What the heck that changed him to be a robot like that? Woke up at 10.00 am,  works like machine, drunk in the night, came back home in the early morning then sleep. Is that really human being life? Why did these peoples really like to torture themself?"

Jungshin finally rised his voice purposely. He really mean to made him heard his words. And it works.  Yonghwa finally stood up from his bench and walked out from the studio. Left his brothers in confusion.

****

He walked out. Slowly, his stepped turned to be run. He ran. He ran as fast as he could. He ran like an insane without he even knew where did he go?

Actually, he just wanted to runaway from his brothers. Aniya. He wanted to runaway from himself. From the aching on his heart which caused  by her. Seems like it would be never ending story about them. Even she'd already gave up since the beginning. Mostly 6 months ago. When she clearly asked him to stay away from her and stop to did something to make her fall. Coz she said.. it would never works for them. Forever this Yongseo stupid love story will gonna be a fiction.

Damn.. it hurt him. It hurt him so deep.

He thought, if she kept avoiding him or anything related to them, maybe she just want to protect her career, either with her group. He tried to understand, even though for nth times she said that she couln't, but he waited. He willing to wait.

Told them those cheap lies about she didn't love him, but it wouldn't works on him.

Those eyes, he knew... he made it sparkling beautifully when they were together during the show or when everytime his name being mentioned on her interviews even when the show had already ended. And he also believe, that it should be him who made it dim so gloomy everytime they met and pretended to be stranger for each other in front of public. It should be him, who changed this girl to be so mature yet being a coward like that. He knew, she love him like the way he love her.

She just afraid. He believe it. He did!

But 6 months ago...

"Geumanhae, Oppa! Don't you feel so tired? For God sake it'd been 6 years. And these 6 years are really hard for me. I'm tired, Oppa. Jebbal.. stop it! Stop it right now!" She covered her reddened face which already swiftly with her tears. She cried again in front of him. He gasped.

"Geunyang.. Wa-wae, Joohyun ah? What's wrong with us? You're right, it'd been 6 years passed, but these 6 years are mean nothing for me except waiting! Okay? But it doesn't matter for me! I can wait for unlimited time if you asked me to. I'll be waiting until you finally ready, Hyun!" He pleaded. The sadness on his face was so obvious as well.

"Who asked you to wait?!!!" She raised her voice. It shocking him. She shout him?

"Hyun.."

"Stop call me with that name!! I'm already sick of that name! It was over for 5 years ago and i hate you whenever you call me that! Enough, Oppa! Please... don't forced me to be crueler than this!"

Again, she shout him amidst his sobs. For a moment he need sometimes to clear his mind that the girl in front of him was really Seo Joohyun from 6 years ago. He couldn't believe what he heard.

"Mwo? You hate that? You hate me? Just tell me once again then make it clear, Seo Joohyun.. Do you really hate me?"

His voice sounded like shaking. He held his anger. He held his hurt for every words she just said.

"O-oppa... i.. i mean..."

"Do you hate me, Seo Joohyun... JUST DAMN ANSWER IT!!"

This time, he loss his temper. 6 years were more than enough for him and now he loss his fort. But then, she cried even more and this time, Yonghwa could see her shoulders shaking after she heard his bark. Immediately, it brought his sense back. He regret it. He regret to shout her that way.

In any seconds, he pulled her body and locked her in his arms.

"Oh.. God, Joohyun ah, mianhae! Jinjja mianhae!" He held her body so tight. He kissed and caress her head gently as she kept crying in his embraced.

"Why is this so hard for me, Oppa? Why is this so hard for us?"

She asked with her throaty voice. He close his eyes for a while and the bitter of her question was getting real.

"Ania, Joohyun ah! It's not that hard. Yes, it is hard but you can make it easier. We can make it easier. If only you want it, i could do it, Hyun! Jebbal, you just need to open your heart. No! First you have to open your mind."

Soon after he finish his last word, she released herself from his arms. She wiped her tears with her shaking  hands. He knew, she was about to be 'the strongest Seo Joohyun' once again.

"I said stop it, Oppa! It's for your own good too. For our good! Is it really hard to understand my point? We are impossible, Oppa! You read those fanfic too much! In fact our story would never be as simple as that!"

"It's you who make it more complicated, Seo Joohyun! It's because you kept on acting as the author of our story. Are you really being obsessed to make this as a sad ending?"

"No! Because this story is never even begin!! Never, Oppa! So i said stop it!"

"You stop it, Joohyun ah!!!! Stop being a coward like that! Had your ego feed you such a happiness? I said it bull! You hurt too, Joohyun ah! You hurt even more than me! You hurt to the point where you hate yourself but you put those pains as my fault! In the end you brought those sorrow as my responsibility. You're damn good for this, Joohyun ah.. and i damn stupid to love a good liar like you!"

"Who asked you to love me? Who asked you for being that stupid?"

"NO ONE! I SAID IT NO ONE! Coz everything are always be me! This freaking love is always about me! Damn... for this crazy 6 years i just being a Saesang fans for you!"

"Geumanhae, Oppa! Jebbal...."

She immediately squatted and closed her ears with her two hands. His words felt like stabbing every inches of her cavities. She couldn't take it for more.

And Jung Yonghwa, he almost at his limit. He didn't know anymore how could he break her wall? Was this love only important for him? Was she really felt annoyed by this all? Was she really hate him that much?

"Ahrasso, Seo Joohyun! Ahrasso!"

Yonghwa tried to managed his emotion. He low his voice as normal as before. He inhaled and exhaled his breath which felt so heavy. It was hard to breath coz something felt like stuck on his throat and it unconsciously produced the warm liquids in his eyes. But he hurriedly wiped it.

"I'm give up, Seohyun Ssi! I'm sorry for wasting your precious 6 years with clinging and flirting like a fool. Jinjja. This will be the most regretful thing in my life for ever doing such an useless thing! Thank you, Seohyun Ssi, for help me realized who i really am! Don't worry, tonight will be the last time you see this jerk stand in front of you. If i do it again, then don't call me human!"

And he left her. He left her cried alone in the middle of the night. He left her broken alone coz he was broken too. He cried too.

***

He still ran. He knew where should he ran to. He doesn't even care if he wouldn't be a human anymore after this. He need to be there. He need to stop her to leave.

But....