Hello again dear subcribers ! I am so sorry for not updating this story earlier but my computer crashed and I had to entirely re-write the two other chapters T.T ... Unfortunately I could not write them as well as the first time but I hope you will appreciate them... Please comment :) !

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Day 1

“- I could not leave you alone Jiyong-ah. You can cry now, I am here.”

He gently put a hand on my head and pressed it against his shoulder before taking slow steps. The noises of the medical equipment became quieter and I could finally calm down a little bit. I took off my head of Youngbae’s embrace and saw what he is was trying to do, we were getting closer and closer of the exit door. I violently put an end to his comforting hug and pushed him against the wall, tears starting to run down my cheeks again.

“- I don’t want to leave him alone! I can’t watch him getting hurt but I can’t run away neither, he needs me… He is strong but he is even stronger when I am by his side so please, let me stay here with him.”

I helped him stand up, apologizing for my behavior. As usual he gave me a warm smile and understood I was not in my right mind. He accepted to stay with me until we get some news about my lover’s condition. We just ended filling papers for Seungri’s admission that I saw the doctor from earlier looking for someone in the corridor we were in few minutes earlier. I grabbed my best friend arm and pulled him with me. As I was getting closer for the person in a white blouse, my smile was fading. No, I was not prepared for this. By the look he gave me I knew right away what it meant.

“-I hate to have to announce such news but… Lee Seunghyun left us. I am really sorry, we did everything we could but he could not be saved. If you want to see him he is still in the room. If you need me I won’t be far. Once again I am sorry, if you excuse me I need to call his family now.”

I watched the doctor leaving without saying anything. I was in such a state of shock that even my tears stopped. It was like the entire world stopped around me, the only things I could hear were my best friend’s sobs. I felt a hand getting into mine and it began to drag me. Soon after I was standing again in front of the reanimation room, I let Youngbae getting in before me. I watched him getting closer to the bed and taking off the white sheet which was covering my boyfriend’s face. His reaction could be predicted; he put his hands on his mouth before kneeling on the floor, unable to calm himself. 

I carefully took some steps into the room and stopped next to the hospital bed. I felt Youngbae grabbed my t-shirt and getting me away.

“- You don’t have to see this Jiyong-ah, they did not even take off the ventilator…”

I did not care about that. I could not get my eyes away from Seunghyunie’s face. I could not realize what was happening. This morning I was eating my breakfast with him, I was touching him, kissing him. It could not possibly be over.

I put a hand on his face, his skin was still warm. I leaned forward and put one last kiss on his cheek, a tear fell on his pale skin. I was about to wipe it off when I thought I saw his eyelids moving. My heart jumped in my chest and I stepped back and bumped into my friend. I forced him to stand up and pushed him next to the bed.

“- Look! His eyes are moving! I swear I saw them moving! Oh god I am going crazy!”

I could not describe the look Youngbae gave me but when he saw how panicked I was he still checked on his own. He looked at him during several seconds before shaking his head. Was I really getting crazy ? Maybe I was hoping for something impossible.

I went next to Bae and looked again at my lifeless dongsaeng. My best friend put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him.

“-Come on let’s go Jiyong-ah, it is too hard. Say goodbye to him.”

So it was really the end. I did as I was told to. I closed my eyes and I again pressed my lips against Seunghyun’s skin, managing this time to touch his lips. Without opening my eyes I turned my back and let Youngbae says his goodbye.

Suddenly I felt a hand grabbed my forearm and I opened my eyes, startled. My best friend got me scared, he looked terrified, his eyes opened as much as they could and his mouth opened.

“-Ji…” He whispered. Pointed Seungri’s body on the bed. “I think… I think he is trying to breathe.”

What !? I came closer to the bed and looked closely. Even though it was barely noticeable, his chest was moving and so were his lips, struggling with the ventilator which was not giving air anymore. I put a shaking hand on Seungri’s face and called his name, I needed to see his eyes opened to believe it. And they did. After calling his names several times, his eyes opened. As soon as he saw it, Youngbae went out the room and screamed for someone to help him.

Under the sheets I grabbed my lover’s hand and squeezed and repeat the same sentence over and over again, more for me than for him: “everything is going to be alright.”

His sleepy gaze was fixed on me and I could not help but smile. He reached out a hand and I grabbed it. He shook his head weakly and frees his hand. I came closer as he tried to reach my face. Once I was close enough he wiped my tears and I could see one sparkling on his cheek. He was back, it was a miracle.  I was so happy but I could not help but notice how his lips were turning blue again as he was struggling with the ventilator which was not allowing him to receive air properly. I furiously pushed the emergency button while his chest to ease him.  Fortunately it did not take long to the doctor and Youngbae to arrive.

The doctor could not believe his eyes. He stood in the doorway, looking at the scene during several minutes. He kept saying the same thing “It is not possible”. Seeing him so numb annoyed me and I pulled him next to Seungri’s bed, pleading him to do something. Other doctors came into the room and we were sent outside despite our protests. I started to bite my fingers, sign of my anxiety. My best friend made me stop by taking them into his hands. He was not doing better than me; I could feel his hands shaking. In our pockets our phones were ringing but we could not answer, we did not know what to say to them because we were not even sure of what was happening.

Few minutes after all the doctors came out of the room, an air of stupefaction on their faces. They left without saying a word, holding tightly their little notes books where they must write all the amazing cases they were facing during their careers; my lover was surely one of them. A deep voice asked for us and we went back into the room. The doctor from earlier was still there, checking over and over again our maknae’s vitals as if he still could not believe what happened. Maknae’s condition was not as shocking as I thought it would be, the ventilator was gone and despite his pale face and his dark circles, he seemed alert and he was even smiling at us. The doctor cleared this throat and did not dare looking at us before leaving the room.

Immediately after we heard the door being closed Youngbae ran to Seungri and sat next to him, clearing the messy hair from his face.

“- Maknae-ah ! Don’t ever do something like this to us again or I will kill you! Oops, it is not what I meant…”

His cheeks empurpled as he understood his mistake. It made my beloved one giggle.

“- I get your point Hyung, I am sorry for scaring you… Do the others know I am fine now? I don’t remember well what happened but I don’t want to worry anybody.”

I quickly got my phone out of my pocket and sent a short but explicative group message before smiling at him.

“-Done! Don’t think about anything now, just rest. Did the doctor tell you what happened? Why so suddenly?”

He frowned and buried his head in his pillow. He took some time before answering, looking at the ceiling, making sure to avoid my eyes.

“-Well it is a little bit confused, they… They don’t really know… But… Hum… He said I am going to be fine, that is the most important… Right? They are not sure of when they are going to release me though but it won’t be long. It is a chance the concerts are finally over…”

He was lying to me, I was sure he was. I knew him to well. First the stuttering, then the sudden change of subject. He was lying for me not to be worried about him but how could I not be? I decided to pretend I did not know, I did not want to start a fight.

I came closer to the bed and kissed his lips. He smiled, satisfied.

“- So they are your lips I felt earlier. Thank you for bringing me back Hyung.”

I gently slapped the back of his head.

“- Stop talking nonsense, you are a miracle and I have nothing to do with it.”

He his tongue out and I heard him whispered something “That’s what you think…”

The hours were slowly passing and I could see he was fighting to keep his eyes opened, I closed them with my fingers.

“-Sleep Seunghyun-ah. Youngbae and I are not going anywhere, we will be there when you w-…

- You should go home Hyung.”

I was shocked by how cold was his answer. He quickly rephrased it, avoiding my eyes once again.

“-No, I mean… You should see what your face looks like… Your eyes are red and puffy… And Youngbae is slowly falling asleep on his chair… Don’t worry about me. Just come home tonight and come back tomorrow. I’ll be okay, I swear.”

He was so determined that I could only accept. I quickly hugged him and grabbed my best friend by the arm before leaving the room, trying to hide my frustration.

Day 2

I looked at my alarm clock; 5am. It was still too early to go to the hospital but I did not feel like sleeping again. My sleep has been haunted by several nightmares and the sight of my lover’s dead body kept coming back. My body was now covered in sweat and my clothes were soaked. I was shaking, I could not tell if it was because of the emotion or my wet clothes. I quietly got out of my bedroom and took my breakfast alone. I spent over an hour in the shower, trying to clear my mind; I needed to look good in front of Seungri.

I looked at the kitchen’s clock, 8am. Even if it was still a little bit early to visit I was sure they would let me in. I left the dorms without waking any of the members up.

My watch was showing 8:30am. I could not wait anymore. I made my way to the ICU and found no one at the reception. It was my chance. After checking my surroundings, I slowly made my way to my boyfriend’s room.

I was about to open the door when I heard two voices speaking inside, I put my ear against the door.

“- I beg you, let me go home.

- I can’t do that, I am sorry. Your heart stopped again during the night. If it happens again I will have to operate you and you will need a pacemaker to survive. We don’t want that to happen right? If it does I don’t how long I will be able to keep you alive.

-What is the point then? I don’t want to die here; I don’t want to see the people I love sitting around my bed, waiting for me to make my last breath. If I do well today and if nothing happens during the night, please let me go home. There is someone I need to tell goodbye properly. I beg you doctor.

- … You have my word kid.”

I bit my lip to stifle a sob. I knew he was lying. I could not face him today; I ran away.

Day 3

I felt something warm against my skin, it was so good. Then something tickled my nose and I let out a small sneeze. I heard a light laugh close to my ear and I felt arms wrapping around my chest. It was a sensation I was used to but it was yet so new. I did not want to open my eyes, scared it was only just a dream. I slowly open them and dropped my gaze, I saw them, his hands, Lee Seunghyun’s hands. I turned back to face him and kissed him on the lips. I looked at him carefully. He was looking perfectly fine. His skin was not pale anymore and his lips had their beautiful old color. I put a shaky hand on his chest, his heart was beating too. He took my hand into his. I looked him in the eyes.

“-Was it a nightmare? Your heart attack, you in the hospital, your condition getting worse?”

He froze for couple seconds before giving me his nicest smile.

“-Some are true unfortunately but I am here now. Hug me hyung, don’t let me go.”

I tightened my embrace and pulled him closer to me. I wished this moment could last forever.