Via: Text

(First Part)

“I… I’m gay.” Was the exact word I said to Kyuhyun. It was quite a shock on his part since we’ve known each other for almost half of our lives already. I might acted a bit feminine but I am more than certain that he much likely ignore those little bits of shriek I let out all in sudden occasions.

Sure enough, he wasn’t expecting that I am actually gay, “I’m so sorry, Wook. I don’t think I heard that right.” He said, looking anywhere but me. He was avoiding looking at me. As if that could make things better!

“I’m gay.” I tried again. Looking deep within the depths of his dark brown eyes, clear enough it’s pooling with different emotions but coming out as a confused gaze. “I don’t think I can accept that.” Kyuhyun trailed off. He was about to leave, he was already turned to his heels and was already mid way out the door. “Wait!”

I run to grasp his arms, holding him still as I said: “You don’t have to accept it… I just wasn’t you to know. You are my best friend.”  After, my hold slowly loosened as I let him go. I might be so afraid that it will actually ruin just anything but for the sake of our friendship and with the certain fact that I treasured it more than anything in the world. I just want him to know.  He might hate me because of that part of me but at least I know that he won’t hate me because I lied.

Later that night I was actually sleep deprived. I wanted to but it seems like sleep is also avoiding me. So, I lied awake staring into space, waiting for my phone to indicate that I receive a message but sadly it did not rang even once and because of that, I actually fear to see him tomorrow in school. What if he ignores me completely? What if he changes his best friend… but best friend can’t be change that easily right?

I walked to school ever so timidly; it felt like everyone’s eyes were on me… as if my secret were out for the whole school to judge me. But I just got to go against the idea. Of all people, Kyuhyun might hate me now but he won’t go as far as telling people about it. Heck! He hates everyone in school.

Two more step then I’ll be inside the classroom, I in deep breath to calm my heavily beating heart. I’m hoping for two contradicting things. I hope Kyuhyun will talk to me but at the same time I’m hoping that he will not talk about our last conversation which likely to be the first thing he will tell me as soon as he spotted me by the door.

He hastily sat up, knocking the chair down in the process and run straight to me. He handed me a phone, I blankly stared at it as it lie on the palm of my hand. “I think a lot about it yesterday and last night…” he started. It was so obvious that just like me; he got so little sleep the night before. “… and I can’t find any better solution but this.”

“I don’t new phone.” I mumbled. Kyuhyun is rich, so damn rich that it’s already scary. He could pay someone to kill a person if he ever wanted to!

“I am your best friend and I can’t just get use to the idea that you’re gay. But I know you need someone to confide to. We can text each other. Tell me anything you want… any gay you do or wanted to do and I can pretend that it was someone else. We’ll never talk about it!” I raise a brow at him and at that moment I want to smack him hard in the head.

“Do you seriously think that we can talk something in text message but will never talk about it in person? You can’t keep your mouth shut around me.” I reminded him. Even the most private talk he had in the past he told it to me in a very detailed way. So I don’t believe he could just ‘pretend’ that he was talking to someone else especially when he’s totally aware that it’s me!

He nodded proudly, as if the idea isn’t crazy enough. “So… we never talked about funny things yesterday?” he nodded, “Yes.”

“We will forget that I said that I am gay.” I whispered, “Exactly.”

“We will talk only via text but the next day it will be as if we never texted the whole night?” I narrowed my eyes at him “Totally.” Was his answer.

“We will be the best friend we’re always is. No awkward s?” I pushed the topic more, “Certainly, yes.”

“And you think this will work out well, because this is Cho Kyu