Stylist

August, 2014…

            The maknaes have deplorable fashion taste.  Most of the time, I guess this really isn’t detrimental to them.  They both dress bad, so they’re naturally attracted to one another and seem to love it about each other.  Fine.  I get that.  Donghae has bad taste in clothes, so I buy clothes for him that look good on him.  Problem fixed.  As performers, we have coordi-noonas that dress us for public events.  And we actually get a say in what we wear for our concerts these days.  All of the maknaes’ ideas get vetoed, thank God!  Only ideas—like mine, for example—tend to make it onto the stage. 

            The same goes with SJM, for the most part but we have a little less say and totally different people dressing us.  You may have noticed some of the questionable outfits over the years.  Those weren’t my ideas.  But I will admit some of them are edgy and trendy. 

            Now, I know when they get outfits together for Super Junior KRY, none of the members get a say in what they wear.  Kyuhyun, Ryeowook, and Yesung, of all people, who can blame them?  They all have such awful taste, the coordi-noonas pick out all their clothes.  Just look at their handiwork!  It’s hard to argue against such success.  I wish Kyuhyun would just come to accept that he looks damn good in suits and other dress clothes instead of wearing all those damn sweaters all the time.

            The real indicator is when you look at some of their public event pictures compared to pictures they post of themselves.  Take, for example, some of their outfits from Germany.  Where’s one that would describe what I’m getting at best?  Ah, here…

            Now, trust me, these two packed such horrid clothes for the trip, there was really no way to fix it at all without spending all their free money on buying up new ones.  It wasn’t worth that because inevitably, they would pair them with the wrong things once they got back home.  At any rate, let’s start with Ryeowook.  A polka-dot shirt.  My great aunt wears them sometimes and they look lovely on her, but on a guy that gets mistaken for being ten years old still?  And part of the reason he’s mistake for being so young is because he wears those goofy hats all the time and them in weird directions.  I like baseball caps too, but you see that sometimes I like to actually look y and do my hair for a change.  You notice they don’t let me wear that onstage and there’s a reason for it.  It’s not actually attractive.  It’s just a way to hide your hair if it’s messy or for old men to hide bald spots.  That’s it.  Let’s move to Kyuhyun.  Believe it or not, this isn’t that bad for him.  For one, he doesn’t have the purse with.  But his sweaters are a hit and miss.  You have to go with what looks good on your body and if the sweater makes it look like you have moobs, you can’t wear it.  He always acts like the manly one in their relationship and Wookie always dresses like it—unless they’re onstage—I’ll never understand this.  I’m not saying there should be set ways of dressing if you're gay or anything, I just find it funny. That's all.

            Compare this to Donghae and me.  Hell, just compare them to Donghae alone!  He’s so damn y, it’s criminal.  You get the two of us together and we’re a danger because women are always surrounding us.  I have to hang onto him if I don’t want to be separated from him.  

            So, why am I going on and on about fashion?  Do I normally have to dress the maknaes?  No.  I’m mostly concerned with what we wear in concert and if they want to look like girls and five year old school boys in public, that’s their choice.  But when it comes to the most important day of their lives, that’s where I make an exception.

            I shook my head.  “You’re not wearing that.”

            “Why not?” Kyuhyun asked, looking up from buttoning up the tux.

            “Because it’s hideous,” I told him, quickly ing it, stripping him of it, and tossing it in our ever-growing pile of reject tuxedo jackets. 

            “You keep saying that,” he pointed out.

            “That’s because you keep trying on the wrong fit,” I explained.  “There’s a reason they put longer jackets on you.  They look better.”

            “But you can’t see my and I have a nice ,” he said.

            Donghae laughed at this from his spot on the bench, not bothering to look up from playing with his phone. 

            “You do.  It’s not as nice as Donghae’s, but it’s not bad.  But you’re tall and broad.  The long jackets tend to slim you down and accentuate your height.  That’s a good thing.  We want to roll with that.  You can always take off the jacket during the reception and show off your wonderful when you’re dancing, but during the ceremony, you should have the right kind of tux