Moral Support

Taiwan, 2011…

              Things were a little crazy early in the year, with Hangeng leaving and Sungmin and I joining Super Junior M.  I admit that I’d always wanted to be in SJM and I was kind of jealous that the others were in it and I wasn’t.  I mean, for God’s sake, Siwon is in it and there’s nothing special about him.  I know they just put him in there because he looks good in pictures next to Donghae and Kyuhyun.  Those three are always getting contracts together.  But he’s not a singer like Ryeowook or Kyuhyun and nobody can dance like me.  I deserve to be part of the group.

              In reality, I probably got to join because Donghae was already in SJM and keeping an established ship together seemed to draw in more fans.  Frankly, I’ll take whatever I can get.  SJM is big outside of Korea, especially in Taiwan, which meant we were going to be travelling.  Of course, the popular ship in Taiwan is KyuWook.  I blame that on the fact that Donghae was often not in Taiwan as much as we were however.  If only one member of a supposed couple is present, it’s hard to promote yourselves.  I suppose I could have worn his clothes or something.  Fans might have noticed.  Then again, I think they were too focused on the blatant flirting going on between Kyuhyun and Ryeowook.  It’s not hard to read between the lines and see that there’s something genuine in their relationship.  Some people might just view them as being best friends and if you gauge that off of what they do and don’t do in South Korea, that’s understandable.  But in Taiwan, we were often left with a different set of managers watching over us.  I mean, we were there for weeks at a time that year recording Tour Guides.  Kyuhyun and Ryeowook felt free to do as they pleased…and they did.  It didn’t dawn on them that it might come back to haunt them.

              After a few weeks of being in Taipei, even I knew enough of the language basics to survive in the streets: take a taxi, order coffee, ask where the bathroom was, eat dinner, get directions back to the hotel, convince the hotel staff they didn’t see me sneak out again. 

              Anyway, Kyu, Wook, and I decided to head out for the night.  Donghae was filming a drama and wasn’t with us.  Siwon was filming something as well, but that’s normal for him all the time.  Sungmin wasn’t feeling well, so he didn’t want to come.  Henry was in trouble for some stupid thing he’d done and there was no chance of springing him free.  Zhoumi was hanging out with some of the staff.  You’d think that I’d feel like a third wheel with the maknaes, but I never do.  The only time it feels weird is when I have to sit alone on the bus or on a plane.  That’s when I miss having Donghae around the most.  But the kids never make me feel weird about joining them and at that point, they’d been together about four years already.  It seemed so normal to consider them a pair at this point, but still only the group and their family members knew about it.  And Changmin.  And maybe a few other select individuals, but none of the SM Entertainment employees.

            Kyuhyun’s a huge fan of Taiwanese cuisine, but he was already picky about what restaurants we went to at this point, as they’d been there more than I had.  I wasn’t about to argue.  I just wanted to see the city.  I sat in the taxi, taking in the site of the buildings all lit up and snapped a few photos with my cell phone and sent them to Donghae.  He didn’t respond which meant he was still recording late.  Bummer for him.  Those make for long days and he always had to start back up again bright and early in the morning.

            Once we got to the restaurant, the owners brought us to a private room.  Apparently they’d been there once or twice before and the owners realized that if they just gave the boys a little privacy, they could still enjoy themselves, order half the menu, and everyone was happy.  After all, the temps in Taiwan don’t exactly get cold enough to justify wearing jackets and scarves most of the time.  We’d stand out if we were trying to hide our identities too much.  It was best just to wear hats, sunglasses, and normal clothes. 

            After we ate, we walked around the city a bit, careful not to go anywhere with crowds or clusters of young girls, and we managed to stay out of trouble.  I bought clothes.  Lots of them.  Obscene amounts.  I really can’t control myself and neither of those two cared to stop me from buying anything.  They were too busy flirting with each other. 

            I had to wonder then, as adorable as it was to see two people that were four years into a relationship still so excited to be around one another, was it normal?  My parents don’t act like this, but they clearly love each other.  Was it normal to think of each other as much as they did?  Miss each other like they did when separated?  Want each other so much you couldn’t bear to be apart?  I just didn’t know.

            What I will say is neither of the brats offered to help carry my bags, so I was walking down the street with my arms loaded as they strolled side by side until we finally decided to get a taxi back.  I was never so happy to get to my room and those two were starting to make out even before they got the door unlocked, which isn’t a good idea, but I just shook my head and walked into my room.  Sungmin was already asleep, so I tried to keep quiet as I set down my bags. 

            Of course, that’s when my phone decided to ring.  I scrambled to answer it so I wouldn’t wake him and rushed into the bathroom to muffle the sound of me talking. 

            “Hello,” I answered, having not even taken the time to see who was calling.

            “Where did you go tonight?”

            Ah, just the sound of Donghae’s voice made me relax and I leaned against the bathroom counter.  “I went out to eat with Kyu and Wookie.  Then we went out shopping,” I said, smiling as I spoke.

            “What did you buy?  More clothes?”

            “They weren’t all for me.  I bought you some, too.  That shirt you bought recently was hideous.  I’m going to burn it when I get back,” I threatened.  God, he has such terrible taste in clothes unless he brings one of us with him.  Even Zhoumi can do better.  Okay, that’s a lie, but most of the other members do better and that’s really saying something.  Donghae would dress terrible if I didn’t double check what he was wearing most days.  I didn’t know how he was surviving with me being in a different country.  Honestly.

            “Don’t worry.  Heechul said it magically disappeared after the cleaning lady was here, so you won’t see me wearing it again.  He’s watching over me while you’re gone,” Donghae informed me.  “So how are the little ones doing?”

            “Just fine.  They’re free to misbehave here more than they do at home and they take full advantage of it, of course, but they’re being fairly smart about it.  Just Henry’s getting himself in trouble by going out alone late at night.”

            “Boys will be boys,” Donghae only said and then yawned.

            “You sound tired.  How late is it?” I asked.

            “A little after one.”

            “What time do you have to be back on set?”

            “Six.”

            “You idiot…you shouldn’t be talking to me at all.  You should sleep.”

            I could hear him moving things around in the kitchen and waited it out.  “I missed talking to you.  Besides, I’m eating right now anyway.”

            “What are you eating?”

            “Ramen.”

            “Ramen?”

            “You have the two best cooks with you,” he complained.

            “I suppose,” I said, laughing when I realized he was right.  “Everyone is missing Ryeowook and Sungmin right now.”

            “I miss all of you.  It’s so empty around here.  Heechul, Leeteuk, Kangin, and I are kind of driving each other nuts.  I can only stand so much of them.  We’re starting to avoid each other now.  Thankfully, I’m gone more than they are so I’m not stuck talking with just them all day long.  Sometimes I go downstairs just to see Yesung and have an early breakfast with him, since he’s usually up.  But he’s getting a little tired of having us pop by at weird times just to make up for the rest of you being gone, I think.  So last weekend I went to visit mom and dad to check on them.”

            He’s talking about my parents.  “How are they?”

            “Uh…they miss you.  Your mother didn’t let me leave once I got there, but she made