Event Planner

September 2012…

            They can’t go on vacations alone together.  That’s a no-brainer.  When you’ve been dating each other for years, however, you’d like to take the occasional vacation together.  So Hae and I said we’d go with them when they said they wanted to go to Greece.  Hey, I love to travel and to be honest with you, I don’t care where the hell we go.  I don’t like to travel alone, so this was a perfect idea. 

            Donghae was originally thrilled with the idea of going, but as it got closer and closer to vacation, instead of feeling more excited like the rest of us were, he seemed more stressed and upset.  I just couldn’t figure out what the hell was going on with him.  Just days before we left, it got even worse.  We were having lunch with the rest of the members at the lower dorm.  We were performing Spy at Music Core that night and Siwon was with us, so Ryeowook made a big lunch for everyone.  It was one of the first times that everyone had been free before an event to get together, so we decided to hang out for a little while. 

          Siwon and Donghae love to talk about acting and tend to chat on their own for quite a bit whenever they get a chance, but we were all talking together as we were eating and the conversations they were having were not private.  That’s what changed everything. 

          “So, I hear you’re dating one of the actresses on set,” Leeteuk mentioned, looking across the table at Siwon as he ate.  “Is it serious?”

          Siwon shook his head.  “We just started going out.  She seems nice though, she’s pretty, smart, Christian.”

          I was a little disappointed that Heechul wasn’t there to at least sigh loudly.

          “That’s good,” Leeteuk said, nodding.  “Maybe this one will work out.”

          You wouldn’t know this—because you’re not in the group—but most of us have really ty love lives.  None of our relationships last long or the women end up being kind of crazy.  The only people with any luck are the maknaes.  That’s it!  Everyone else is single and has a bunch of horror stories to tell you about their past relationships.  Shindong was engaged for a long time—maybe at this point he still was, I don’t remember now—but that ended as well.  Of course, the present day is a little improved.  We’ll eventually get to that.  But back in the fall of 2012, pretty much everyone was alone and somewhat miserable.  I’d dated a few women off and on.  Didn’t last long.

          “Hae, there’s this girl on my set that’s cute.  She says she’s a big fan of yours.  Perhaps we should go on a double date some night,” Siwon suggested.

          Donghae nearly choked on the mouthful of food he was eating and I quickly began to pat his back.  Right away, he began shaking his head.  “I don’t know.  I’ve been really busy lately.”

          “It’s just dinner,” Siwon said.  “And if you don’t like her, it ends there.  If you do, I’m sure you’d find a way to squeeze her into your schedule.”

          “No, thanks for thinking of me though.”

          Siwon gave Donghae a confused look.  I felt just as confused.  Why the hell was Siwon being so pushy in the first place?  We’d been promoting y, Free, and Single and now Spy for the last couple months and we were all exhausted.  If he wanted to relax on his down time and not worry about trying to impress weird fangirls, why was Siwon pressing the issue?

          “Donghae,” Ryeowook said, standing up.  “Can I have you help me lift something in the kitchen?”

          “Sure,” he agreed, nearly jumping to his feet to escape the table.

          Ryeowook could have asked anyone at the table to lift something and perhaps Kangin or Leeteuk would have been just as practical.  Clearly he was purposely giving Donghae the means to end his conversation with Siwon.  Once Donghae was out of the room, Kyuhyun turned to Siwon.

          “He clearly likes someone else right now.  That’s why he doesn’t want to join you guys,” Kyuhyun explained.

          “He does?” Siwon asked.

          “He has for a long time,” Kyuhyun said.

          “Oh.  I didn’t know that.  He should ask her out and see what she says,” Siwon suggested.  “Why isn’t he saying anything?”

          “I don’t think he believes they love him back.  Not romantically, anyway,” Kyuhyun only said, looking around at me and Sungmin, who were the only other listeners. 

          How could that possibly be true?  If Donghae were in love with someone, he would tell me.  We’re best friends!  How could Kyuhyun possibly know that Donghae’s in love with someone and not me?  But Kyuhyun didn’t say that Donghae told him he was in love.  In fact, he made it sound more like an observation.  Still, could he notice something about my best friend that I didn’t?

          “If that’s the case, I won’t mention it again.  I didn’t know,” Siwon said and then began to ask after Kyuhyun’s parents. 

          I ate in silence for a stretch, even when Donghae returned, and thought about what Kyuhyun had said.  I thought about everything and I felt there was no proof that Donghae was thinking about some girl all the time.  He never mentioned anyone.  But there was one doubt in my head.  His songs.  Something about the lyrics and the way he sang them just seemed to ring so true on some level.  Donghae did know something about love.  He loved someone, at least at some point in time, and I was determined to find out more.  But I could wait until a better time. 

          That came early the next morning.  We were a bit drunk and we’d been dropped off at the dorms after our performance and then after dinner and drinks together.  Donghae came down to the lower dorms with us to hang out because Leeteuk and Kangin didn’t put up with loud, drunken behavior in the upper dorms unless they were drunk as well, but they were tired and wanted to sleep.  Old men.  We stayed up for a stretch to socialize with Kyuhyun, Ryeowook, Yesung, and Sungmin, but one by one everyone started to go to bed.  It had been a long day.

          Donghae looked ready to head upstairs, but I wasn’t going to get any information out of him that way.  He was much more inclined to talk drunk and he’d be sober by morning, so I drug him into the bedroom with me instead, ignoring all his objections. 

          “My back’s going to hurt in the morning,” he complained.

          “Your back won’t hurt if you sleep on your side,” I said, pushing him down onto the bed. 

          “Fine,” he muttered, getting under the covers and rolling onto his side.  Such little resistance when he’s been drinking!  It’s almost nonexistent.  I squeezed in beside him and wrapped my arm around him to keep myself from rolling out of bed.  We’d pretty much perfected the art of two grown men sleeping in a twin bed at this point, but it was still a little tricky and I can’t say that one of us didn’t end up on the floor every now and then. 

          I was just getting comfortable and that was about the best time to bring up the topic because he would probably fall asleep fast, under the circumstances, but now that I was ready to mention it, I didn’t know what the hell to say.  I just couldn’t blurt it out, could I?  But I was going to have to—and fast—if I wanted answers. 

          “Hae.”

          “Hmm?”

          “Have you ever been in love before?”

          Donghae looked over his shoulder at me and gave me a questioning look.  “Why are you asking me that?”

          I was hoping he wouldn’t ask that.  “Well…Kyuhyun told Siwon that the reason you didn’t want to date that girl he knows is because you’re in love with someone else.”

          Donghae turned back to face the other way.  “Do you think he’s right?”

          “You’ve never talked about liking anyone, so I don’t think so, but then again you write all these lyrics about love.  I figure that you must have been in love at some point in time,” I said.

          “Hyuk.”

          “What?”

          “You’re an idiot.  Go to sleep.”

          That was all the further I got.  When I woke the next morning, Hae was already long gone.  Yesung and Minnie said he’d eaten breakfast with them at about the crack of dawn or something and then went back to his own apartment.  I didn’t get up until about noon.  For the next several days, I barely heard from him aside from the occasional text.  Then, just two days before we were set to leave for Greece, he called.

          “Hey, buddy, what’s up?” I answered, excited to hear from him for the first time in days.

          “Hey, Hyuk,” he said, sounding rather unenthused.