III

Chanyeol’s jaw seemed to have fallen at what Baekhyun had said. He didn’t think he was ready to reveal himself to Baekhyun, but his mind shouted to him. YOU ONLY HAVE A MONTH, ONE MONTH BEFORE BAEKHYUN GOES AWAY. He visibly swallowed and asked. “Baekhyun, if you want to know who I am, you have to promise that you’ll believe everything I’ll tell you.”

Chanyeol watched as Baekhyun seemed to have something bothering him. It was as if Baekhyun was debating with himself in his mind about believing Chanyeol and the tall male couldn’t help but smile. He missed this side of Baekhyun. The way Baekhyun purses his lips and looks at nothing in particular tugged something in his heartstrings.

“Okay.”

The word alone pulled Chanyeol back into the complicated reality that he’s going to put Baekhyun into after he reveals who he really is. Chanyeol sighed heavily before starting to talk. “Baekhyun, I…I’m your boyfriend.” He paused, waiting for Baekhyun to say something but the dark haired male kept quiet, he wasn’t even bothered by what Chanyeol had just said. “You see, I—we…uh,” The golden brown haired male bit his lips as he focused his gaze on Baekhyun. This was harder than how he thought it would be. “Um—”

“—what happened three months ago?”

Chanyeol stopped, rooted on his chair. His heartbeat’s pace fastened and it was all he could do to not slam his fist on the table in anger.

“You don’t have to answer if you can’t.” Baekhyun said while staring at Chanyeol. “If it’s hard for you to answer it’s okay.”

“No.” Chanyeol uttered breathlessly. “It’s just that…I’m okay.” The taller male didn’t realize he was already curling his hand into a ball. “Three months ago, t-there was an accident.” His voice cracked and he felt like he just wanted to cry. Truth to be told, it was really very hard for him. What happened was all his fault and he only deserved it that Baekhyun couldn’t remember him.

Baekhyun reached for Chanyeol’s fist. “It’s okay.” He said. He didn’t know what possessed him to do such thing as trying to comfort a stranger by holding his hand but he still did it. He tried to uncurl Chanyeol’s hand and that’s when he noticed that the other was shaking.

Chanyeol uncurled his hand as Baekhyun tried to do so. He felt Baekhyun holding his hand and gave him a squeeze in which, by doing so, he unknowingly helped lessen Chanyeol’s anger.

“Baekhyun, we’re… o-on our way to t-the airport.” Chanyeol hung down his head and he felt Baekhyun squeeze his hand again. He sighed before continuing. “We…we planned to go to China to meet Tao b-because Baek,” Chanyeol tried to but he couldn’t, tears escaped and ran down his cheeks. “We had a very important business with him. He’s a very busy person and he couldn’t afford to be delayed and so you said it was okay for him not to go here, that we were the ones who have to go to China and meet him.” Chanyeol looked at Baekhyun and he found the other nodding on him.

“But on the way to…to the airport,” Chanyeol continued, and by this time, he’s seemed to be out of breath, “the car lost control.” He pulled his hand away from Baekhyun’s grasp and cupped the other’s face. “Baekhyun, I’m so sorry.” Chanyeol tried to stop crying but he couldn’t, the other customers around them was looking at him, but he didn’t care. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It was my fault. I’m so sorry I couldn’t do anything. It was my fault you had a deep wound on the side of your head. I’m so sorry for this. It was my fault. The accident was my fault.” Tears continued to roll down Chanyeol’s cheeks and his voice cracked even more that Baekhyun could almost feel himself crying too. “I didn’t check if the car was okay. I didn’t check it at all. You always told me to be safe because you don’t want me to be hurt, but now…” Chanyeol’s hands on each side of Baekhyun’s face was shaking. “Baekhyun, every day, I regret. I regret everything that happened. Now, you don’t remember me.”

Baekhyun’s hands found their way on top of Chanyeol’s. Chanyeol thought that Baekhyun would pry his hands off of his face but he didn’t. Baekhyun just let his hands rest on top of Chanyeol’s. “Shh. It’s okay. Stop crying.”

Chanyeol nodded. “It’s okay. I’m okay. Everything was my fault. I deserve this, to be not remembered by you. I only deserve this.”

The raven haired boy pried Chanyeol’s hands off his face and lied them on the table. He held Chanyeol’s hands between his and gave the other a squeeze. With his eyes fixed on Chanyeol, one of Baekhyun’s hands found Chanyeol’s face and wiped away his tears. He still couldn’t remember anything but everything that Chanyeol told him seemed real. He knew Tao. Tao was his friend, a designer and he’s a very busy person. He sighed, he was feeling heavy. Baekhyun pitied Chanyeol because he was blaming himself for what seemed like a fault that wasn’t even his and he also felt like a jerk for not remembering—that was if there was really something to remember.

All of a sudden, Baekhyun felt the urge of hugging the male sitting just across him. He really wanted to comfort Chanyeol, although he doesn’t know why. It just occurred to him that Chanyeol seemed like someone he knew so long ago. It came to him as a late realization that he had pulled Chanyeol to stand on his feet and that his arms were already wrapped around the taller male’s waist.

“Please, stop crying. I-I don’t know why I feel like this but…I don’t like seeing you cry. It makes me want to cry too. Please stop. Okay?”

He felt Chanyeol’s chest vibrate against his face, instantly, Baekhyun snapped his head up to see why. Chanyeol was no longer crying, and he was chuckling. Then he felt arms s around him. “The customers are looking.” Chanyeol whispered in his ear.

Baekhyun not-so-gently pushed himself away from Chanyeol, and yes, people were really looking at the two of them. They didn’t dare to comment though, they knew Baekhyun’s the owner of the café, they didn’t want to be banned forever from the place.

That night, Baekhyun kept on squirming on his bed. It’s not that he’s having difficulties in sleeping, it’s because he couldn’t sleep at all. He couldn’t even close his eyes because every time he does, images of Park Chanyeol’s crying face flashes on his mind and he doesn’t like it.

That’s when he thought it was a wrong move to try and talk to Chanyeol, but it was too late now, Chanyeol already told him about things that happened three months ago. The word ‘boyfriend’ kept on ringing on his mind. He couldn’t believe it one bit. It’s just so unbelievable. If Chanyeol’s his boyfriend then he thought he must have his picture on his phone. Baekhyun didn’t even found a photo of him and Chanyeol inside his room, no nothing to prove that they were a couple.

If they were lovers, then at least they should have a photo together—wait, about a photo. “Where’s my bag?” Baekhyun asked himself as he got off the bed. He walked out of his room and strode to the living room, there he found his bag lying comfortable on the couch. He grabbed it and ran as quiet as possible into his room as not to wake somebody up.

He opened his bag and looked for a white box inside it. When his hand found what he’s looking for, he hastily pulled it out of the bag. Baekhyun threw the puzzle pieces out of its box and into the bed and started solving the puzzle again. When he’s done it, his brows knitted again as he stared at the blank part of the puzzle. Baekhyun went in front of the nightstand and pulled out the two drawers. Nothing was inside the first drawer except for a small red box that he didn’t want to see. But on the second one, there was a white paper. He took it in his hands, it was empty, and so he turned it around. Something was written in it, and Baekhyun was sure it wasn’t his handwriting.

“ChanBaek”

Baekhyun immediately thought of ChanBaek as CHANyeol and BAEKhyun. He shook off the thought. He didn’t know how he came to think about that, it was just the first thing he had thought of. He sighed before pushing the drawers back to its places, and returned to the bed and stared at his incomplete puzzle.

“Wherever have I placed that one last piece?”

Ruffling his hair, Baekhyun got up and grabbed his jacket that was hanging on the chair and walked silently outside, leaving the house. He didn’t know where his feet was taking him but the way he was walking to was so familiar to him, then he found himself in front of an apartment. He has been here before, he knew it, but he couldn’t recall who lives inside.

“Only one way to find out.” He said as he took in some strength to knock at the door, but before he was able to knock, the door moved and revealed a disoriented looking Park Chanyeol. “P-Park Chanyeol?! You live here?!”

“Uh, yeah. Hm. I was about to go out and run around to tire myself out because I cannot sleep but you came. Wanna come in?”

They found themselves seated in a couch, watching movies after movies. They didn’t talk, they just glued their eyes on the television, sometimes chuckling, sometimes gasping, but other than that and the sound that came from the movie, nothing else was heard.

Chanyeol was pulled out of his concentration on the movie when a weight suddenly propped on his shoulder. He looked to his side and saw Baekhyun sleeping while leaning his head on his shoulder. Chanyeol smiled sadly; he missed this. If only he could wrap his arms around Baekhyun. He shook his head, willing himself to throw away his thoughts, and soon he scooped Baekhyun up in his arms and laid him on his bed. He gently placed the dark haired down and tucked him to bed.

He was about to go out of the room when he abruptly stopped and knelt on the side of the bed. If it was the usual, he wouldn’t have to go out and sleep on the couch. He could just sleep next to Baekhyun but this was no usual. Unable to stop himself, he caressed Baekhyun’s cheek with the back of his finger. His skin felt like burning against Baekhyun’s. Slowly, Chanyeol leaned closer and placed a peck on Baekhyun’s cheek.

The tall male wasn’t able to pull away yet and there was already a hand on the back of his neck. Is he awake?! His eyes widened as Baekhyun moved his head. Their lips met. It felt like the first time over again for Chanyeol. He had been busy blaming the accident to himself that he had completely forgotten how soft Baekhyun’s lips are. His breathe was caught on his throat when he felt Baekhyun sigh against his lips. He knew he shouldn’t take advantage of Baekhyun but he missed this guy so much that Chanyeol doesn’t notice he was already hovering the smaller male.

Baekhyun’s lips moved against his while Chanyeol felt his tears falling down again. He cupped Baekhyun’s face as Baekhyun locked his hands with Chanyeol’s hair. This feeling could just last forever, but then, fate has different plans. All of a sudden, Baekhyun’s stopped moving, and that’s when Chanyeol finally remembered. Baekhyun was one to do uncertain things in sleep.

Chanyeol lied lifelessly on the couch. With his arm as the pillow, Chanyeol blinked at the ceiling, unable to stop his tears from flowing. He wiped away his tears and closed his eyes. He was halfway being asleep when he suddenly heard some sniffling. Chanyeol ignored it at first because he was already getting sleepy, but the sound changed from sniffling to crying. His eyes snapped open before his mind registered that he wasn’t alone in his apartment. Baekhyun was in his room.

The tall male fled into his room to see what was happening. When he turned the lights on, he saw Baekhyun thrashing his head about. Moving on instinct, Chanyeol went to the side of the bed and lightly nudged Baekhyun awake.  “Baekhyun, Baek, wake up.”

“No.” He heard the smaller male muttered under his breath. “Please. No.” It was barely a whisper but Chanyeol heard it. “No, no.”

Holding Baekhyun’s hand in his, Chanyeol tried to wake him up again. “Baekhyun, wake up.”

Chanyeol felt Baekhyun grasped on his hand. “No, no, please, no. Chanyeol, no.”

It was a very silent crying and pleading but Chanyeol caught it, eyes widening at the sound of his own name. Baekhyun’s grip on his hand tightened before the smaller male inhaled deeply and his eyes flashed open. When he saw the Chanyeol sitting beside the bed, he immediately hugged the guy and held unto him tightly. “Are you okay, Chanyeol?”

Hesitantly, Chanyeol rubbed the back of the smaller male hugging him. “O-of course, I’m okay. I sh-should be the one asking you that.”

Baekhyun pulled away and cupped Chanyeol’s face in between his hands. “Nothing happened to you, right? You’re okay. Nothing happened to you.”

Chanyeol smiled as he nodded. “Everything is okay, Baek. Nothing happened to me. You just had a dream.”

Baekhyun’s hands fall down to his lap and momentarily let his eyes close as he muttered, “A dream.” He nodded to himself. “A very bad dream.” He opened his eyes almost instantly as he felt a large hand ruffling his hair. He looked at Chanyeol and saw that the guy was smiling, “Chanyeol, why am I here?”

“I don’t know.” The hand on Baekhyun’s head fell on his shoulder. “I guess you couldn’t sleep and you found your way here. I really don’t know. Are you okay now?” Chanyeol’s face was full of concern and Baekhyun couldn’t help but think if he was already liking the guy in front of him. He slowly nodded. “I’ll just go get you some water.”

Baekhyun stayed on the bed, sitting, and remained unmoving as he stared at Chanyeol’s back disappearing through the door. He looked to his side and found a clock glaring 2:03 AM. He sighed to himself before looking down on the on his lap. Am I really starting to like him? He thought. It wasn’t good, he knew it. He should stop before he falls hard, but something on the back of his mind tells him that this has to happen and that there’s no way he could avoid it. Baekhyun knew he has to try, he has to stop because he—

“Here.” A glass of water was ed on his hand. He didn’t know why but before he drank the water, he still stared at Chanyeol for a while.

Placing the glass on the nightstand, Baekhyun debated with himself for a while. His mind went back to the time that he was talking with Chanyeol at the café. It was then he realized that what Kai had told him about forgetting someone was true.

You forgot him. You already know who, you just don’t remember.

I…I’m your boyfriend

Baekhyun, every day, I regret. I regret everything that happened. Now, you don’t remember me.

If he did forgot, then he must have at least remembered anything on what Chanyeol had told him but he didn’t. Baekhyun knew Kai wouldn’t lie, but he wasn’t sure if Chanyeol was telling him the truth. If you want to know who I am, you have to promise that you’ll believe everything I’ll tell you. Maybe it was because he didn’t believe in Chanyeol at the first place that’s why he hadn’t recalled anything.

Baekhyun’s eyes laid on Chanyeol. The latter was staring at him, worried. He didn’t know why he was having this kind of feeling when he was with Chanyeol. It almost feel like it was something unpredictable, and now he was starting to believe the voice inside him that he really couldn’t avoid liking this guy.

“Baekhyun, what was your dream about?” the other asked him.

“I…i-it was about you. It was bad. I don’t want to talk about it, it was frightening.”

Chanyeol nodded but Baekhyun didn’t see him doing so. Both of them fell silent, only the sound of their breathing could be heard.

Some time passed, Baekhyun broke their silence by asking “Do I love you?” He didn’t know what he was doing but somehow, Baekhyun thought, he has to at least know why he was feeling this way toward the gold brown haired guy. He felt this since that very first day Chanyeol sat with him in his usual table. It wasn’t something normal, he doesn’t even believe it was something like love at first sight—or like at first sight, because he was feeling certain that the guy’s name was familiar, meaning he has already met him somewhere. Baekhyun wanted to know what made Chanyeol seem like a very mysterious person, because he couldn’t be satisfied with just thinking about some possible answers when he know Kai and his mom already knew the tall male.

“You do. You always tell me that you do.”

Chanyeol was feeling nostalgic. He remembered the time when he and Baekhyun fooled around and re-enacted that one scene from the drama they just finished watching. The part of the drama they re-enacted was about a girl having amnesia, asking his boyfriend if he loves her. They couldn’t remember all of the lines so everything was did through adlib. That time, Baekhyun had also asked him the same question, and Chanyeol answered the same answer.

“Oh. Do you love me?”

The tall male looked at Baekhyun straight in the eyes and nodded. “Hm.”

“Really? How much do you love me, then?”

Chanyeol stopped for a while. He remembered asking that very same question to Baekhyun every time, to which the smaller would answer, ‘The more you hate, the more you love so I hate you so much.’  And so Chanyeol decided to answer just that. “As much as I hate you.”

Chanyeol saw Baekhyun jerked his head back. ‘I hope you remember.’ Chanyeol thought. “Okay… so how much do you hate me?”

So much. “No words can tell.”

“Can you make me remember?” Even Baekhyun himself was taken aback with what escaped his mouth, but he fought the urge of covering his mouth with his hands.

“Will you give me a chance?”

The way Chanyeol was staring at him makes him feel uneasy and breathless. Baekhyun doesn’t have confidence in his voice so instead of answering verbally, he nodded, his eyes never leaving Chanyeol’s.

Chanyeol wasn’t able to help himself but crush Baekhyun’s bones by hugging the small male. “I’ll try my best to make you remember me.”

Baekhyun chuckled before trying to gasp for air. “Okay, okay. But you have to start a plan okay? Then let’s get to that plan of yours and show me how much you hate me.”