Donghae felt himself in the midst of asphyxiation. He grabbed on tight to the person next to him, a stiff-necked and slightly fuming Kyuhyun, who kept his eyes trained on his target, Jongwoon.

“Kyuhyun, Kyu, seriously, help me, I can’t breathe—“

Kyuhyun pinched the closest region of flesh he could reach on Donghae, which was, unfortunately, Donghae’s . Donghae convulsed in pain and doubled over into his seat, scaring Hyukjae, who was carefully looking at Hyoyeon over the menu.

“Jesus—Donghae! What the hell are you doing?”

“Kyuhyun pinched my !”

“Well, you deserved it. Shut up and calm down, Jessica’s right there!”

Hyoyeon heard the entire exchange a little too clearly. Unfortunately for her, she still had her Hyuk-o-matic inside her. A system that allowed her to basically sense where he was, what he was doing, what he was saying, and basically his vital signs too. She cowered beneath her menu and nudged Stephanie a little too hard in the ribs.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“Stop your eye- with Siwon and help me out here!”

“I am not eye-ing—“

Then Stephanie caught Siwon’s eye contact and flashes her crescent eyes back at him again.

Siwon caught her crescent eyes and smiled slightly, assuming that she wanted to leave the whole ice-breaking session between Jessica and Donghae for later.

Stephanie caught his smile and gushed inwardly, hoping with all her heart that he was actually flirting with her, the same way she was flirting with him.

(Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case, but neither knew it yet.)

“Oh, yeah, says the girl who isn’t eye-ing Siwon,” Hyoyeon responded, a sarcastically sharp tongue pointing its direction at Stephanie.

Stephanie tsk-ed Hyoyeon and turned back to her a little reluctantly. “Okay, what do you need?”

“I keep feeling Hyukjae’s presence!”

“Hyoyeon, it sounds like you either need therapy or you need a knife.”

“Why a knife?”

“To rid his presence.”

“I go for none. I just… My Hyuk-o-matic isn’t turning off!”

“Okay, whatever that is, it sounds horrible and I don’t want to know what it is. You just have to get over it, Hyo!”

Hyoyeon thought about her situation for a while and frowned.

“Why am I here again?”

“To give moral support to Jessica.”

“For…?”

“For her to remember Donghae!”

“Remind me why I’m friends with you guys again.”

Hyoyeon turned away for more aid, and only found a fawning Taeyeon, who was admiring Kyuhyun a little too openly. At least Hyukjae and Hyoyeon had menus to cover themselves with, Taeyeon pretty much full-out threw herself on the table for Kyuhyun to grab.

“Right, this one needs more help than I do.”

She looked to beside Taeyeon and saw Yuri, now snuggling comfortably in her boyfriend’s arms. Oh, how she wanted that too.

Jongwoon clearly couldn’t help Hyoyeon, because in between whispering sweet nothings to Yuri and glaring the out of Kyuhyun, he was trying to weigh his flavors of pizza.

And as for Jessica, well, she was just surfing the web on the phone, waiting for someone to say something.

After fifteen minutes of murmuring and a general silence, Jessica nudged Stephanie. “Hey, where’s the pizza?”

“We haven’t ordered yet,” Stephanie responded, her eyes still fixated on Siwon.

“Well, then order! I skipped breakfast for this, so you better fill me up like one of your French girls.”

Stephanie turned to Jessica, and, ever so slowly, she finally asked: “What?”

“What, what?”

“I don’t have a French girl…”  Stephanie retorted, a little too defensively.

Siwon decided to take things into his own hands, given that his stomach was telling him to do so as well. “Alright, guys, let’s order! Then we can get down to… Self-introductions?”

Hyukjae looked to him as though a savior had arrived. “I want a pepperoni pizza. With anchovies!”

“I don’t want any anchovies on mine,” Hyoyeon remarked, to no one in particular, though everyone knew the words were for Hyukjae. Hyukjae glanced at her and glanced away, biting his lower lip.

“I think we’ll just go for a pepperoni pizza without the anchovies,” he whispered to Siwon.

Siwon looked to the ground speechlessly, where he saw littered ketchup wrappers and a dead cockroach. Explained how he felt totally.

“We’ll have one pepperoni pizza with anchovies and one without,” he concluded, scribbling furiously on the order sheet.

“I’d like a Hawaiian one,” Jongwoon started, smiling at Yuri because, clearly, that was what Yuri wanted.

“And a seafood one for me,” Kyuhyun interjected, a little too quickly, as though this was a battle for the fiercest between him and Jongwoon.

“I’d like a seafood one too,” Taeyeon gushed, trying to keep from lunging at Kyuhyun from her seat.

“We’ll share a vegetable pizza,” Stephanie offered, gesturing to her and Jessica.

By now, Siwon and Donghae were the only ones who haven’t spoken up. Siwon decided to bring him along when he went to order. At the queue, Siwon surveyed Donghae’s face, and sighed.

“So have you figured out what today’s pizza outing is for?”

“For—for—me—and—Jessica?”

“Yes, and it would be magnificent if you could stop stuttering and breathe normally.”

“I can’t believe she’s here, I, I, I mean, you, we, they, I can’t, oh my god.”

“Well she’s here, for real, so you have to get a grip on yourself and help us out to help you out.”

“You mean…”

“Yes, we’re going to try and push you guys together.”

Siwon turned to Donghae once again and swore he could see the touched tears in Donghae’s eyes. Resisting the urge to slap him up the head, he focused on the pizzas.

“Okay, I’m going for a seafood pizza. How about you? Alright, forget it, you’ll get a vegetable pizza since that’s what she’s eating.”

=

When Siwon and Donghae returned, there was another awkward silence that enshrouded them. Of course, Siwon had to switch places with Hyukjae after Kyuhyun demanded for it to happen.

Kyuhyun was about to blow.

“Why is weird tortoise boy here?” Kyuhyun asked with a voice not louder than a whisper.

“The more the merrier?” Siwon ventured, praying that the answer would be satisfactory.

“Not when we don’t see eye to eye,” Kyuhyun deadpanned.

“I was hoping it’d be easier for you guys to see eye to eye because you guys wear glasses?”

“Siwon, if I wanted to your soul out of you, I could. Don’t make me.”

“Alright, alright, fine. Just… Look, if nothing happens, this could be good. It’s for Donghae. Alright? If something comes out for this, we’ll be doing a good deed. Right? Right? Right?!”

“Well, if he provokes me, then will get real.”

“I got it.”

All of them finally settled down. This time, Siwon decided to text Stephanie to start the ball rolling.

Stephanie got the text and nodded solemnly. Then she turned to Jessica and smiled. “Alright, everybody, this is probably the first time we’re meeting Jessica.”

“We met her at the new year countdown party already,” Kyuhyun reminded.

“Well, we didn’t,” Jongwoon defended.

Siwon massaged his temples.

“I said ‘probably’,” Stephanie replied, ending whatever was starting between the two. “So, uh, it’s always good to meet a new friend… Jessica, how about you introduce yourself?”

Jessica put down the napkin she was playing with. “Oh, uh, hi guys, I’m Jessica, I’m from the international school around here, and… I’m Jessica?”

Everyone stared at her, a little scathingly, except for Donghae, who just continued to stare with admiration and a little bit of drool.

“Okay, that was a good start,” Siwon managed to squeak. “How about we go on to Donghae now?”

Donghae snapped out of his trance and flinched. “Oh, right. I’m, uh, I’m, I’m Haedong—I mean, I’m Donghae, Donghae, Lee Donghae, I, uh, I, I’m a guy, I live alone, I study with them,” he gestured to the people around him, “and I live alone, I’m Donghae…”

He caught the look Hyukjae was giving him and choked.

“I… I… I live next door to you!” he ended, pointing a finger at Jessica while avoiding eye contact.

Jessica stared, a little disconnected from the entire scene. “I thought a cat lived next door…”

Everyone shifted their eyes onto her instead.

Today wasn’t going well.

Hyukjae nudged Donghae to continue. “Oh, uh, I, uh, no, a cat doesn’t live here—I mean, I live here, I mean—I live next door to you, I’m your neighbor, I… I sent you home after the new year countdown party, you kissed me on the cheek, I, I met your sister, she’s Krystal, she was looking for milk, I—I bought a whole box of milk for you guys, I—“

“Oh, you’re the cow who dropped by!”

=

The cashier’s hand hovered above the phone as she watched the drama play out at the table.

“Should I call the asylum?”

=

“Uh, no, I’m a cow—I mean, I’m not a cow! I’m not a cow! I’m Donghae, Donghae, Haedong—Donghae! I’m Donghae! Your neighbor! Your neighbor!”

“But… I thought a cat lived next door…”

“GOD DAMN IT, JESSICA, HE’S YOUR NEIGHBOR, HE’S YOUR FREAKING NEIGHBOR, HE’S LEE DONGHAE.”

=

Just when the cashier decided that they should be fine if they don’t break anything, she was caught off-guard by the sudden outburst at the table.

“GOD DAMN IT, JESSICA, HE’S YOUR NEIGHBOR, HE’S YOUR FREAKING NEIGHBOR, HE’S LEE DONGHAE.”

Immediately, she went back to the phone.

“I’ll just put the asylum number on speed dial…”