“The reason why I moved back here was because someone died.”

Krystal leaned back into the couch, pulling her legs up along with her. Donghae turned towards her and leaned back as well, against the arm of the couch.

“That someone was a classmate from my boarding school. His name is Jongin.”

Donghae could see Krystal swallow again and he caught onto the notion that Krystal swallowed whenever she found something difficult to say. “You don’t have to tell me the story if you don’t want to, Krystal.”

She smiled. “My family doesn't know about this at all. So I think you should be honored and just listen to me.”

Donghae nodded.

“Jongin was a wallflower. He blended in a little too well with the background, and, well, I was one of the popular ones. We were from two different worlds, I guess.”

=

Krystal was running late for her next class. She had no time to arrange her books and just carried everything out from her room. She ran through the field, almost exceeding her personal speed. If the track and field teacher saw this, she would totally be recruited for the team. Which she didn’t want.

When she reached the classroom building, she was panting and her hands were aching a little too badly. She still had another staircase to climb.

As she struggled to make her way in, a figure ran to her from the opposite end of the hallway. She didn’t stop to look at him, but he called out. “Hey!”

She turned, almost a little unwillingly, since she was running late and she had so many books in her hands. But when she did, the figure had his arms outstretched. “I’ll give you a hand with that.”

Krystal didn’t get the chance to respond, when the figure already cut her burden by fifty percent by grabbing most of the books out of her hands.

She didn’t find out until two days later, when she’d met him outside the cafeteria, that his name was actually Jongin.

=

“He was a nice guy, to say the least. I don’t have much to use to describe him because we didn’t talk much. We didn’t spend a lot of time together. But I knew it in my gut that he was a nice guy. Just like you.”

=

She met him again outside the cafeteria, when she finally got to know his name. “I’m Krystal! What’s your name?”

“I’m Jongin.”

She stuck her hand out for a handshake. He took it in his, and gave her hand a firm and warm handshake.

“Thanks for the help the other day.”

Jongin smiled a bit and nodded. “You’re welcome.”

=

Krystal smiled.

=

On one certain day, she was running late again. Her books were standing unsteadily in her grip as she made her way across the huge field.

Again, the same scene took place, as she tried to ascend the staircase and Jongin appeared.

“I’ll give you a hand with that.”

Again, it was unspoken, as Jongin lessened her burden and helped her with the books.

It was the second time out of many more times when Jongin had helped her with the books.

Krystal thanked him for the first couple times, then it just became habitual for her to see him running down the hallway to help her. She slowly erased the ‘thank you’ from , and it became silence.

Jongin, too, had become silent as he helped her time and again. He no longer told her that he was going to give her a hand with the books.

To her, it became habitual and almost expected whenever Jongin ran down the hallway to help her.

And one day, it stopped.

=

“What happened?” Donghae asked.

Krystal smiled a bit at his curiosity. “You’ll find out.”

=

The first time Jongin didn’t appear, Krystal finally realized how hard it was for someone like her to carry all her books up a staircase for a class she always ran late for. But she would pull through. She wouldn’t let the books drop from her hands.

It was only when a lady approached her a few meters before she reached her classroom, when the books finally dropped, one by one, to the ground.

=

Dear Krystal

This is Jongin. I’m sorry that I have to talk to you like this through a letter. I’m also sorry that we haven’t had a real conversation in real life.

I’ll start by telling you that you, Krystal Jung, are absolutely flawless. And that I have a crush on you.

I know I should’ve told you earlier, but I couldn’t find the proper moment to do so. I just thought that by helping you with the books, something would spur me to open my mouth. But nothing did, and I procrastinated… Until now.

As I write this letter, I realize that my time is running out, and a little too quickly at that.

I’m ill. And I’m dying.

I’m writing this letter in the hopes that it will never reach you, because I want to be the one who can tell you that he likes you, to your face, personally, right in front of you.

But, as I said, my time is running out. So if this letter reaches you, it’s probably because my time’s already run out.

I like you, Krystal. I like you a lot. And I think you’re an absolutely amazing girl. It’s always struck me as ‘creepy’, how I tend to admire you as you stroll through the hallways with your big groups of friends and other admirers, as you attend classes and doze off halfway through, and how you stop to help the janitor with her mop and broom as you make your way to lunch.

And writing out everything does make me feel like a creep.

But… I just wanted you to know that I have proof that you are an amazing girl. And that I want you to be happy.

This may not matter to you at all, given that you have so many admirers out there, but I just wanted to tell you that you have to be happy no matter what.

Don’t get yourself hurt, and don’t get yourself sad. I genuinely want you to always have a smiley face on you, as you always had.

I like you, Krystal Jung, and I just want you to be happy forever.

Signed, your secret admirer Jongin

=

They never found out about the truth that they should’ve found out about a long time ago. And now it was too late.

=

“So… Today, I’m the one who has to look back on things and realize that I missed out on an amazing guy.”

Donghae felt tears in his own eyes. “You moved back because of him?”

Krystal smiled. “Not really. After he left I tried to move on, but then I attended his funeral and his family told me that he drew so many pictures of me just from memory and they could tell that I really meant a lot to him. They gave me all the sketches and I bound them together in a book. And after I was done, I flipped through everything and realized that I had to go back home. To run away from everything for a while.”

“Then you came home and met me.”

She nodded, and then poked Donghae’s chest. “That’s why I decided to help you.”

“And I’m really grateful for it. But now, I’m not the issue. What do you plan to do after this?”

“Now that I’ve confessed everything to you, I guess my sister will learn about it, and then my parents. They’ll probably talk to me and then send me off again.”

Donghae shook his head. “No. I’m not going to tell any of this to Jessica.”

“You won’t?”

“I won’t. I promise. I think it’s better if you told her yourself. And I know you want to.”

“I do want to, actually.”

Krystal got up to go to the kitchen. Donghae stood up as well, leaning by the kitchen doorway while he watched her pick up another bottle of milk.

“I know you can get over this in due time,” Donghae told her, a small smile lighting up his countenance.

She smiled back. “I know I can. After I finish all the milk in here.” She gestured to the big brown box that Donghae brought over the other day.

Donghae tilted his head. “I’ve always been meaning to ask you why you liked milk so much.”

Krystal took a huge gulp. “It was Jongin’s favorite.”

=

At night, Jessica returned from cheerleading to find Donghae’s house completely darkened. She wondered with a tinge of disappointment if Donghae had retired to go to bed early.

Then she opened the door to her own house, and Donghae had popped out from behind the door. “Surprise!”

She screamed and whacked Donghae on the chest. Donghae chuckled. “Hey there, welcome home.”

She giggled, and then noticed Krystal’s disappearance. “Where’s—“

Krystal popped out from the kitchen next, holding a plate of spaghetti. “Surprise!”

The three headed over to the dining table. “What is this?” Jessica asked.

“A dinner we prepared for you,” Krystal answered. Jessica squinted. “Okay, fine, Donghae did most of the work.”

Donghae grinned. “It’s my first time cooking, so I don’t know if you’re going to like this.”

“Oh, come on. She’ll like everything that you are a part of.”

=

After dinner, they both stood outside Jessica’s house. Donghae held onto her hands tightly.

“I wanted our first date to be better,” he muttered, a little sheepishly.

She giggled. “You call this a date?”

He pouted. “I know, it was too lousy to be a date.”

She giggled again, this time poking him in both cheeks. “This isn’t a date, silly! This is just dinner.”

He lit up again. “Oh!”

“We’ll have our first date soon. Maybe when my cheerleading finals are over and when I can be released earlier.”

“So… when do they end?” He couldn’t even mask the anticipation in his voice.

“This Friday.”

“Will I get to watch you cheerlead?” he asked, enthusiasm fuelled.

“It’s actually a private event…” she explained, her voice a little down suddenly.

He pouted again. She ruffled his hair up and grinned. “But on the bright side, we’ll have a lot of time to spend together after that.”

He smiled in consolation. “I’ll just stay here and continue missing you until then.”

“You are such a sweet-talker.”

“I mean every word I say.”

Unknowingly, and unexpectedly, Jessica had leaned forward to kiss him on the lips.

“…and that’s your reward,” she teased, gently tapping on his lips as she did so.

He leaned in for another kiss, until Krystal appeared by the doorway, clearing . Then he pulled away, a little disappointed.

“Yes, Krystal, I won’t miss your curfew,” Jessica responded sarcastically.

Krystal grinned and headed back in. Donghae let go of Jessica’s hands and gestured for her to head in. “Goodnight and sleep tight.”

He turned to leave, but an arm turned him back around. She kissed him, making up for the kiss he couldn’t give her when Krystal appeared. When they pulled away, Donghae couldn’t stop smiling. “That’s your goodnight kiss,” she explained.

=

Jessica shut her laptop down the moment her assignment was done. She looked at the clock and saw the time: eleven o’ clock. The time elicited a yawn out of her and she crawled over to her pink and fluffy bed.

As she was about to turn her nightlight off, there were a few knocks on the door. It almost made her scream, but she held it back at the last moment. “Who is it?!”

“Who else but me,” Krystal answered.

“Oh, right. Come in.”

Krystal slipped in quietly, closing the door behind her as she did so. She looked at her sister through guarded eyes, and Jessica wondered what was up. “What’s wrong?”

“Can you call me Soojung?”

“I thought you preferred Krystal,” Jessica retorted, a sarcastic edge to her voice.

But then Krystal’s genuine look made Jessica melt, and she patted her bed to get Krystal to join her on the warm haven. “What’s wrong?”

Krystal walked over and climbed into Jessica’s bed, grabbing Jessica’s hand as support. “I need you to call me Soojung.”

“Okay… What’s wrong, Soojung?”

“I never really told you about the reason why I came home, did I?”

“Nope, you didn’t. Neither did you tell Mom and Dad.”

“I was hoping I could tell them later, since they aren’t home yet, anyway.”

“They’ll be home soon. They’re in Jeju Island for a business convention.”

“I’m aware. But before that, I wanted to tell you first.”

Jessica watched as Krystal slipped into her arms, hugging tightly onto her sister. This was one of the rare moments that the sisters shared.

The older one Krystal’s hair. “What’s wrong, Soojung? You can tell me now.”

“I’m only telling you everything because Donghae encouraged me to.”

“Oh?”

“And because you’re my sister, because I love you, and because you ought to know.”

Jessica gave her sister a little kiss on the top of her head. “Go ahead.”

=

That night, the sisters slept in Jessica’s bed. Jessica had her arms tightly wrapped around her younger sister as she told her story and as she wept into her older sister’s pajamas.

Jessica found herself pitying Krystal after the story had been told, but she also found herself admiring her sister for being this strong and this thoughtful.

And through the tears they both shed that night, Jessica realized that this baby sister will always be her baby sister – someone she has to care for and protect. And as she held Krystal tightly to herself while they slept, she knew she was taking the right first step to accomplish that task.

Krystal realized that this older sister will always be her older sister – a pseudo-guardian angel, someone she can bring everything to, the good and the bad, and someone she can climb into bed with and have heart-to-heart talks with. And as she allowed herself to be held by Jessica through the night, she relished in the fact that she had her own bomb shelter to run to in such times of distress.