A/N: So I decided to make this a two-parter because it was getting ridiculously long and because I love torturing you I love challenging myself.

Seunghyun truly can't pinpoint the exact moment he fell for his college roommate and study buddy—but one thing is for certain, he fell hard. Maybe Seunghyun secretly always knew he was destined (or doomed, depending on how you looked at it) to fall in love with the boy with fluffy blond hair. Somewhere along the way, an innocent, meaningless crush blossomed into full blown, unconditional, unrequited love. If he was truly honest with himself, Seunghyun would admit he felt an immediate physical attraction from the first day he stepped foot into their shared quarters.

***

The first day of college. A new start. A clean start. A fresh chance. And Seunghyun felt so nervous he was terrified of puking in front of everyone as he slowly climbed the stairs to level three. With a stack of boxes balanced in his sweaty palms, Seunghyun tried not to focus on how they closely resembled a jenga tower about to topple over with the next impatient student bumping into him. The woman at the administration office was kind enough to inform him that his roommate had already turned up at seven this morning before handing over the second and last key to their dorm.

All manner of images swirled through his mind of some bespeckled book worm occupying half his dorm and Seunghyun found himself okay with that idea. He wasn't exactly what you'd call a jock or one of the funny, popular guys in class. But he wasn't exactly the bookish, nerdy type either. Seunghyun didn't really fit any mould and he had no such desire to do so. Each year of high school he found himself seeking out a new pre-existing friendship circle to edge his way into. It seemed every year his previous group outgrew him and became tired of him. He didn't blame them or hold it against them; it just made for a very lonely existence. So if his college roommate was the quiet, study type, it would suit Seunghyun's introverted personality just fine.

With a loud huff escaping his lips, Seunghyun reached out to turn the doorknob of what would be his confined quarters for the next however many years. He muttered a silent prayer not to be paired up with some boisterous, crazy party-goer even though his brain niggled at him that no such jocky loser would willingly rock up at seven in the morning for the first day of college. Without meaning to, Seunghyun clenched his eyes shut as he swung open the door. Fear gripped at his tense muscles at what awaited him. Even if he looked like a complete airhead, it was much safer inside his mind where he pictured a blue slug-like creature, not too unlike the opium smoking caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland, squirming across their floor.

"Who are you?"

Wait. . What. Did Seunghyun really just fall down the rabbit hole?

"Wait— don't!"

The frantic voice only startled him further and Seunghyun jumped about three feet in air and his shin collided with something solid. The impact caused him to lose his grip on his prized possessions, all crammed into the small cardboard boxes and he heard them crash to the floor.

"What are your eyes closed for silly?"

The more that voice filled the dark space around Seunghyun, the more he thought it sounded like a siren's song, light and joyful and strangely melodic, as though there was always some secret song playing in the boy's head. The warm voice was followed by a warm, soft hand wrapping around bicep, giving it a gentle squeeze before briefly brushing along his cheek. Seunghyun fluttered his eyes open and had to blink several times to bring his vision back into focus. There before him was no drugged up caterpillar, no tall basketball player, no pimpled awkward teenager—but the most beautiful boy he'd ever laid eyes on.

One thing that was right about his anxiety fuelled daydreams was the boy wore glasses. Solid black, slightly squared frames drew his attention to rich, brown eyes that were in the shape of half-crescent moons from the bright smile the boy wore. Full, pink lips parted to reveal even pinker gums and sparkling white teeth. Seunghyun found himself self consciously running his tongue across his own teeth, trying to pick away any remaining crumbs from the toast he scoffed down that morning.

When Seunghyun allowed the silence to fill the tension filled room, the boy began to squirm under his intense stare and chewed on his lip. Which definitely didn't help. The blond puffed his cheeks and ruffled his fluffy locks before awkwardly taking a few steps back and shifting some of his boxes out of the doorway. There was a large hard-plastic crate toppled on its side that seemed to be filled with all manner of paints, brushes, wax crayons and other various art supplies Seunghyun couldn't place a name to. So that's what Seunghyun collided with.

"S-S—"

He tried really hard to get the word out. He really did. But when the boy snapped his head up at him, surprise and dare he even say excitement widening those big brown eyes of his, Seunghyun's tongue felt heavy and his throat closed up.

"Yes??" The boy asked a little too eagerly, that blinding smile taking over his whole face. As he stumbled up from his crouching position on the floor, he tugged on his loose white t-shirt, causing it slip down over his bony shoulder.

Seunghyun raked his eyes over the boy's body and felt like a total creep for doing it. But when he quickly looked at the boy's flushed face, he noticed those wide eyes were travelling over every inch of his body as well. Suddenly he felt big and bulky in his thin grey sweater and dark jeans. How did the boy wear a pair of light denim jeans a simple white t-shirt so well? He looked like he jumped right off the page of some high fashion magazine. Black framed glasses pushed onto his head, brushing the long locks of soft blond hair back, a light charcoal smudge across his cheek from picking up his scattered art supplies.

"What was it you were going to say?"

. What was he going to say again? Was he going to apologise or say his name?

"Seung—ry." He blurted out like a total dork. Well this first impression was going super.

"Seung...ri?" The boy asked with an amused tilt of his head and bit down on that plump bottom lip of his again. Was that a frequent habit of his? Because Seunghyun may have to request a new roommate if he wished to get through this year without jumping the boy's bones.

"N-No… — I meant… ummm." Seunghyun pinched the bridge of his nose. He wasn't that same stuttering, awkward kid anymore. College was his chance to prove to everyone that yes, could be the funny, likeable guy people felt comfortable around. "I'm really sorry, I'm just so nervous about this whole college thing." Before he realised he was doing it, Seunghyun found himself tugging on the boy's exposed forearm to pull him back down to the carpeted floor. He scrunched up the sleeves of his cotton sweater and helped retrieve all the pencils and paintbrushes before they could stain their new floor.

"Tell me about it!" The blond laughed with a slightly nervous waver to his voice. "I've been having nightmares for weeks about getting paired up with a horrible roommate—oh! No—I didn't mean…" Those big brown eyes shined at him like a sad puppy when Seunghyun piled at that confession. "I meant I'm glad they took pity on us socially awkward guys and paired us together. I think I would've burst into tears if you were some muscley athlete. That's why I got here so early this morning. I felt so restless and like I needed to start nesting like pregnant chicks do."

"So I'm your baby chick?" Seunghyun interrupted the boy's adorable rambling thoughts with his lame joke. But the sound of bubbling giggles reached his burning ears and he felt himself smiling. The boy found his horrible joke funny.

"Neh hyung, you're my baby chick." The boy bit down on the corner of his lip again and Seunghyun found himself staring. Again. "Sorry, just assumed you were Korean as well. But with those cheekbones and that chiselled jaw you must be. You look like you literally climbed off the pages of some fashion magazine. Way to make me look like a total slob on moving day."

Seunghyun screamed at his brain to ignore that blatant compliment but he could feel himself blinking in shock. Did this kid seriously just speak his own thoughts out loud? God, the look on his face must make him look like some hopeless fool. But the way this boy was shyly looking back at him through his sweeping fringe made him feel like the most popular guy on campus. He wanted to confess that he thought the boy had the most perfect shaped eyes and the cutest button nose and the prettiest little mole on his cheek. But he didn't.

The boy had vaguely gestured over his shoulder to a teetering stack of fashion magazines and Seunghyun's eyes raked over the labelled spines. Eyes have a funny knack for landing upon familiar territory, don't they? There were a number of gay and bi friendly magazines shoved between issues of Vogue and Arena—and not just generic 'I support my gay/bi/trans friend' type of magazines. There were exclusive, locally printed subscriptions that Seunghyun himself was also signed up to. How two openly gay, Korean men in the same state hadn't crossed paths before now was a total mystery. Although Seunghyun could argue the point on whether or not he was openly gay. He simply chose not to greet new people with 'Hi I'm gay Seunghyun!'

"I think you're right about admin pairing us together on purpose. No one would like the smell of kimchi filling up the fridge except another Korean… And… I'm gay… too."

The boy looked stunned for a brief second, the words am I that obvious stamped across his forehead but he shook it off with a friendly smile. "You brought kimchi?" The boy asked with a hopeful sparkle to his eyes. "In my rush to get here this morning I totally forgot to grab Umma's kimchi from the fridge."

As the boy rambled on, which Seunghyun already noted was another common habit of his, he reached into his box labelled kitchen and pulled out several containers of nothing but lovingly homemade kimchi.

"Hyung, I think this is a match made in heaven."

After the last of the art supplies were plucked from the floor, they both stood up and brushed imaginary dust from their clothes.

"By the way, I'm Seunghyun." He automatically stuck out his hand but the boy just glanced at his offered hand. Seunghyun watched as the boy flicked his eyes to one of the many boxes scattered across the floor and Seunghyun felt so stupid for forgetting his name was messily scrawled on all of them.

Instead of shaking his hand, the boy carefully slipped his arms around his middle and squeezed. "I'm Jiyong."

It took a few moments for his body to catch up and Seunghyun loosely held the boy to his chest, feeling his hands tremble. This was not going to be easy.

***

That was a little over a year ago now. The pair were well into the beginning of their second year of study and their second year sharing a room. Things aren't quite as awkward as they were on that first day. In fact it didn't take them long at all to feel completely comfortable around each other. Seunghyun no longer needs to think and rethink every little thing he says to Jiyong, in fear of sounding stupid. And Jiyong doesn't restrict his desires for physical affections. That's definitely one of the harder habits to survive. Jiyong is a needy, clingy boy. Something Seunghyun equally loves and hates.

Life in their dorm is simple. Jiyong laughs at all Seunghyun's jokes. He never forgets to tell Jiyong how much he loved his latest art creation. He nags like a good hyung whenever Jiyong stays out too late instead of studying. And his dongsaeng knows how to pull out the cute act to get what he wants. Like right now.

"Hyyyuuung!" Jiyong whines yet again into the dark room.

Seunghyun cracks one bleary eye open to have the bright red numbers burn his retina like a laser. 3:17am. This is the third time Jiyong has disturbed his precious sleep tonight. And it will be the last time if the boy values his own life.

"What!" He bellows into the endless darkness surrounding him. Ensuring he makes as much noise as possible, Seunghyun flails and kicks his legs until his covers fall to a tangled mess on the floor. "Jiyong what is it."

A quiet sob echoes into the room and Seunghyun feels the immediate pang of guilt deep inside his chest. He knows how fragile his best friend can be. He knows better than to shout.

"M'sorry… I—nothing. Go back to sleep hyung."

Jiyong sounds so exhausted and even the rustling of sheets as he rolls over to face the wall sounds so defeated. Seunghyun takes in a deep, calming breath and rubs the sleep from his eyes before flopping out of bed. Thankfully his eyes have adjusted to the darkness and the moon filters enough light through their open window that he can make out the silhouette of Jiyong's body. Kneeling down at the edge of Jiyong's bed, he can see the small frame tightly clinging to a long, cylindrical shape. Without a doubt, Seunghyun knows the boy is hugging his beloved bolster.

From day one, Jiyong has slept with the thing and refuses to ever stay overnight at someone else's place because he's too embarrassed that he needs his bolster to fall asleep. Seunghyun found it incredibly cute and endearing that the younger boy was so attached to his precious pillow. In those early days of attraction and getting to know one another, Seunghyun found himself looking across the room to take in the sight of the skinny boy spooning the soft lump of foam. But as time went by, and the two grew closer and more comfortable with each other, Seunghyun found himself developing a rather peculiar sense of jealousy towards the inanimate object.

The way Jiyong's slim legs would hitch over the bolster and he'd snuffle his adorable sleepy face into the bolster made him wish Jiyong would hold him so intimately. Which on some movie nights, he did. But Jiyong would always, without fail, leave Seunghyun's side in favour of his bolster. Now, in the middle of the night, Seunghyun is granted the chance to study the lines and angles of Jiyong's back. His eyes are drawn to the sharp point of Jiyong's shoulder blades straining against the thin cotton of his t-shirt. Trailing a path with his eyes, he follows the long line of Jiyong's slender but toned arms all the way to his slim wrists which are crossed over beside his head.

"Ji…" Seunghyun whispers and brushes the hair back from Jiyong's forehead. He frowns in concern when he feels that Jiyong's brow is clammy and how damp his hair is. Is his dongsaeng sick? Or is it a normal case of Jiyong overheating too easily at night?

By some small grace, they were lucky enough to be assigned one of the larger dorms. But the sacrifice they had to make was that the air con was bust. Seunghyun had spent all last year arguing and fighting with maintenance to get it fixed but so far, to no avail. Truth be told, it didn't bother Seunghyun much but he knew how easily Jiyong felt the heat. Last year they made do with a cheap standing fan but Jiyong of course had to lug the thing back home with him over their break and forgot to bring it back. If only he had left the bulky bolster at home instead. Seunghyun almost ran out and bought a brand new one but Jiyong clung to his legs like a whiny puppy and argued they wouldn't be able to afford food for the week if he did.

"Hyung." Jiyong sobs and flops on to his back, looking completely dishevelled and thoroughly able.

Now isn't the time for such deviant thoughts, Seunghyun. He chides himself and stifles the groan threatening to escape his lips. With those sweaty locks plastered to his forehead and one hand thrown over his parted lips and the other rubbing across his brow, Seunghyun finds it all too easy to imagine Jiyong is whimpering from overstimulation rather than suffering from humidity.

"S'too hot—I… can't sleep." Jiyong rolls over to face him fully and thanks to the light of the moon, Seunghyun can see his tears b over. He knows it's not a health risk or even a serious illness but his heart breaks all the same. No matter how many times he has to witness a teary, sweaty Jiyong, he always remains deeply affected by it. "Hyunnie." Jiyong grasps Seunghyun's hand and it makes the older's heart flutter for a moment. The boy places his cool palm to his hot cheek and sighs at the instant relief it brings.

Seunghyun glares at the stupid bolster beside Jiyong and wants to yell at his dongsaeng that if he just kicked that thing out of bed, he wouldn't overheat so much. But he knows Jiyong would rather suffer from the sweats than to sleep without his damned bolster.

"Can you open the window?" Jiyong nuzzles into Seunghyun's touch and he can't tell if the dampness pooling into the lines of his palm are beads of sweat or tears.

"It's already open, Ji. You need to take a cold shower or something."

Jiyong shakes his head and moans in discomfort, rolling away from Seunghyun and closer towards his bolster.

"Alright wait right here."

Even in the dark, Seunghyun can make out the look Jiyong gives him, as if to say, 'You think I'm going anywhere.' but he chooses to ignore it and bites his tongue. Through the dark room, he stumbles and trips across the messy floor and makes it to their small fridge in one piece. The tiled floor of their tiny kitchenette is cool beneath his feet and for a moment he considers relocating Jiyong to the floor. Even the Jiyong inside his head smacks him across the arm for such a ridiculous idea. Going back to his original plan, Seunghyun slides the ice tray out and hurries back to Jiyong's side.

The moment the mattress dips as Seunghyun settles beside him, Jiyong whimpers his name and fumbles for his hand, wrist, anything. Why does he feel more like a fretting mother taking care of their child's fever than a concerned friend. Seunghyun makes several silent promises each day to Jiyong that if he were lucky enough to be called his then he would treat him like royalty.

This exact moment's promise is — "If you were mine then I would take care of you every time you fell ill or succumbed to fever. You'd never have to suffer alone."

Seunghyun clearly hears his own voice and for one terrifying, body-immobilising moment, he fears he uttered those words out loud. It's entirely possible he did. So he prays that in Jiyong's heat delirium, he thinks the whole thing is just a hallucination.

"Seung." That tiny, whimpering voice brings him back to reality.

"I'm here, Ji. I'm here…" he lowers his voice to what he assumes is a comforting, warm tone but he's aware of how deep and gravelly his voice can sound, especially with lack of sleep. No matter how many times he gives in to his insecurities surrounding his deep voice and dark eyes, Jiyong always jumps to his defence. That soft, soothing voice listing all the ways they adore his deep baritone and intense, soulful eyes. Seunghyun knows better than to indulge in Jiyong's compliments but he appreciates his efforts all the same.

Setting himself to the very important task at hand, he taps out a few of the ice cubes as quietly as he can. He hesitates for a moment, trying to consider the best place to start but Jiyong makes another moan of discomfort. If he can just cool down the boy's face enough to ease away the tight line of tension between his brows and relax his clenching jaw, then he can make a start on cooling down every inch of his sweat-slicked body. Taking one of the frozen cubes, Seunghyun tentatively glides it across Jiyong's forehead and judging from that soft sigh, it brings instant relief.

With his confidence growing, Seunghyun drags the block of ice over Jiyong's temple and down the side of his face. He makes swirling patterns of cool water over Jiyong's flushed cheeks and watches transfixed as the tiny droplets track their way down his neck. Seunghyun ends up using another two cubes just on Jiyong's face alone until the boy flutters his eyes open with a small smile. Jiyong's hand wraps around Seunghyun's wrist which is firmly planted to the mattress, right beside Jiyong's hip where he can feel the boy's body heat seeping into his own.

Those gentle fingers dance over Seunghyun's skin for a fraction of a second before Jiyong rolls over onto his side. With Jiyong now opting to face the wall instead of Seunghyun, one would be forgiven in assuming the boy was cool and calm enough to chase sleep but Seunghyun knows Jiyong far better than that. The blond could easily close his eyes and succumb to sleep now but he wants more. He always wants more. Seunghyun just knows Jiyong is silently asking him to cool him down until he falls asleep.

Taking another ice cube into his now numb fingers, Seunghyun wastes no time in pressing the cool cube to Jiyong's neck. The boy cranes his neck to give him easier access and as he trails the tips of his fingers along the pulsing vein at the juncture of neck and shoulder, Seunghyun can't help but imagine it's his lips caressing the pale skin. That it's his warm tongue flicking against his pulse that causes Jiyong to in a shaky intake of breath and arch his body for more.

"Nnngh… Hyun." Jiyong moans and hooks his leg over his bolster, rotating his hips until he's comfortable.

Seunghyun tugs on his sleeve to expose his shoulder and Jiyong lets him. With every inch of freshly exposed skin, Seunghyun covers it in a cool sheen of water and Jiyong sighs appreciatively. Using up several cubes, Seunghyun tracks cool paths down Jiyong's arms, across the crease of his forearm, over his wrists. He brings his focus to those small, curling hairs at Jiyong's nape and glides the ice across his hairline until his soft blond locks are soaked with the cooling water. There are only two more ice cubes left and then all of this, the soft touches and tender brushing of fingers, comes to an end. Seunghyun wants to make the most of this intimate moment while it lasts.

With a slightly less steady hand than before, Seunghyun takes one of the cubes between his forefinger and thumb. his dry lips, he resists the urge to on the ice cube and forces his heavy tongue to move.

"Ji… open up."

And he does.

Those rosebud lips willing part to the gentle prodding of Seunghyun's digits and grant him entrance. The inside of Jiyong's lips are silken and warm and Seunghyun has to bite down on his own lips so harshly to silence the moan that wants to slip out. The tip of Jiyong's tongue pokes between Seunghyun's finger and thumb and all manner of thoughts spring to mind. After carefully placing the melting cube on Jiyong's tongue, he reluctantly removes his fingers from his mouth. If he's not mistaken, Jiyong's lips purse together and for the life of him he can't come up with any plausible reason why. Is he pouting at the loss of his touch? Is he puckering up for a kiss? Is he disappointed this is as far as tonight will go?

Whatever the reason, Seunghyun settles for one simple act of affection and hopes it conveys at least a portion of the wealth of feelings he holds for this beautiful, pale creature curled up beside him. The last few droplets of water are collecting at the tips of his long fingers and he carefully trails them along the seam of Jiyong's lips, smothering the soft flesh with cool water. He's about to make a hasty retreat when he sees the last remaining cube on the bedside table, pooling in its own melting liquid. This will be the last time Seunghyun pushes the boundaries tonight and it will give him his answer. Whether he wants it or not.

Up until now, Jiyong has become strangely still and silent, almost on the brink of sleep. If this doesn't jolt him into action then nothing will. First, Seunghyun slowly dips his cold fingers beneath Jiyong's t-shirt and when he's met with no resistance, he inches the material over Jiyong's lower back. He shifts the t-shirt until it exposes those tantalising dimples which Seunghyun longs to trace with his tongue. This time there's no careful first touch to allow Jiyong's flushed skin to get used to the dramatic shift in temperature. This time Seunghyun secures the cube in the palm of his hand and presses it without warning to Jiyong's back.

The boy gasps and tries to jump away from the cold intrusion, which Seunghyun expected. He thought Jiyong would startle at the initial touch but then melt into the palm of his hand, just as the ice was doing. Instead Jiyong crawls further away and latches himself to his bolster. Confused at Jiyong's closed off behaviour, Seunghyun is about to ask what's wrong when Jiyong breaks the silence between them.

"I just want to go to sleep now please."

And he doesn't have to plead twice. Seunghyun exiles himself to his half of the room and treats Jiyong's half like it's hot molten lava that will incinerate his entire being if he goes anywhere near it.

***

The next morning Seunghyun is awoken by Jiyong roughly shaking his shoulder before smacking his forehead.

"Get up you lazy ! You'll be late for class, pabo."

Seunghyun's sleep boggled mind is struggling to catch up to the situation. Through his squinting vision, he can make out the blurred lines of Jiyong scurrying around the room like a caged animal, collecting up bits and pieces for the day. Wriggling into a half sitting up position, Seunghyun leans back against the headboard and runs a hand through the flop of hair clouding his vision. Jiyong must have caught the grumpy pout on his face because before the boy disappears through the door he laughs heartily.

"Get a haircut you hobo!"

And just like that, he's gone. Without a single acknowledgment of what took place last night. This wasn't the only strange incident between them and if their track record was anything to go by, it certainly wouldn't be their last either. Because yes, Seunghyun has a catalogued collection of each and every incident.

*

Like the time Jiyong's parents came to visit the first time. Of course his mother was lovely and kind but Jiyong's father was a bit of a challenge. Seunghyun awkwardly tagged along on the grand campus tour, trying his best to sound witty and charming. Umma Kwon, as she insisted Seunghyun call her, laughed politely at all his jokes and she had the same gummy smile Jiyong has. It wasn't until the end of the afternoon spent together, when Jiyong asked his hyung for a favour that Seunghyun felt like he received the stamp of approval from his father. With Seunghyun's height, it was an easy feat to reach the box on the high shelf in Jiyong's closet.

"Thanks, Seunghyun." Jiyong smiled gratefully as he took the box off his hands. "Appa, here… it's just a few extra supplies I don't need. And before you say, 'I told you not to over-pack' don't."

Knowing how impolite it would be to laugh at Jiyong's impression of his father's voice in front of the man, he busied himself with shuffling the remaining boxes back into place. This was when he overheard Jiyong's father say, "I'm glad you've got a tall and strong man around."

"I'm not completely useless y'know, Dad." Seunghyun could practically hear Jiyong roll his eyes.

"No, just short."

Seunghyun chose to reappear from the closet at that moment and caught Jiyong fidgeting away from his dad trying to ruffle his hair. The look the older man was giving Seunghyun made him feel like the nervous boyfriend who just gained approval from the over-protective father. And with the way Jiyong was beaming at him made Seunghyun almost believe Jiyong thought of him as a prospective boyfriend.

*

And then there was the last time Seunghyun's Umma came to visit. Jiyong, being the sweet, polite young boy he was, always left a lasting impression on his mother. But this time in particular, the pair was getting along extremely well. Jiyong always held a passion for cooking and any chance he got, he loved to compare Mrs. Choi's traditional family recipes with the ones he knew. While Seunghyun was delegated with the task of brewing a new pot of tea for his mother and his roommate-suddenly-turned-bossy-wife, he may have eavesdropped. He wasn't technically a welcome member to this conversation seeing as he stepped over the imaginary line in their tiny room that Jiyong insisted was the lounge room and the kitchen. To Seunghyun, it was all the one room. Twin single beds and all.

"Thank you again, Mrs. Choi I know these recipes must have been in your family for generations. I promise I always treat them with respect and due care. You can even ask Seunghyun if my cooking lives up to his high standards."

Why oh why did this blond kid have to be so damned sweet and endearing and act like the loveable son-in-law his Umma continued to nag him for. If he didn't tone down the cutesy act soon, Jiyong was going to be solely responsible for any and all cardiac rest Seunghyun may suffer from in the near future.

"Nonsense, Jiyong. The way my Seunghyun goes on about you, you feel like a permanent fixture in his life. You're family too and these recipes are just as much yours as they are Seunghyun's… if not more."

And the two loves of his life looked over at him in the kitchenette, struggling with stacking the sugar cubes into their neat little sugar fort, chuckling away behind their dainty hands.

*

Then there were the countless times Jiyong or himself (usually the later) had one too many beers. When Jiyong's cheeks flushed red and his eyes became half-lidded and Seunghyun couldn't stop himself from staring. A few times Jiyong caught him staring for too long but eventually the younger would blush and lower his head. Perfect white, sharp teeth would gnaw at red lips. And then on their stumbling walk home, Jiyong would complain about his legs feeling like jelly because his hyung kept staring.

"Stooopid hyong shtaring me." The boy slurred and almost tripped face first into the grass before performing a rather graceful pirouette back onto the path. "Seunghyun hyungie~" Jiyong twirled around him in dizzying circles. "Seunghyunnie." he giggled directly into Seunghyun's ear and draped himself over Seunghyun's shoulders. "Carry me home…" his drunken voice drawled out slowly, almost purring like a sleepy kitten.

*

The brunette knew he fixated on those memories far too often. He thought of all the times Jiyong made offhand comments about them always being stuck side by side, joking about the two of them still rooming together even after they graduate. He daydreamed about the two of them bustling around a full-scale kitchen, dancing around each other in synchronized harmony as they cooked dinner together. He imagined what a shared master bedroom of theirs would look like. And that's where he forced his trail of thoughts to stop. Because this obsession was unhealthy.

With a quick glance at the time, Seunghyun knows making it to class today is a lost cause. He'll have one disappointed dongsaeng pouting at him by the end of the day but stuff it, whatever, he's the older one. He can do whatever the hell he wants. So after a long shower and a large cup of coffee to stir him away from the previous night's events, Seunghyun decides today won't be a complete waste of sleep. He's going to get a haircut.

***

"Alright… I've got the pizza. I've got the beer. You ready for this!" Seunghyun jovially waltzes into their dorm, masterfully balancing said supplies for their Friday Night (W)in. Jiyong is responsible for that definitely-not-lame title for what has quickly become a monthly routine of theirs.

Seunghyun looks over to Jiyong who's sitting in the very middle of their beds with his laptop and scrolling through the long list of tv series they're yet to start. The goofy grin plastered on Seunghyun's face falters for a moment before it disappears entirely. Jiyong seems quieter than usual. Brown eyes which usually sparkle at him like the dazzling sun are dull and changed colour. Whenever Jiyong cries, whether it be over a character death in his favourite book or in frustration over losing his muse for his art pieces, his rich brown eyes morph into the weird shade of greyish brown they are now. Seunghyun likens the colour to a painting Jiyong once did of an enchanted forest with a muddy trail winding through the trees. The forest floor was lined with murky puddles, trapping the sunlight in the reflective surface making them look like stepping stones guiding a path.

Weighing up his options of asking Jiyong what's wrong and setting off a whole new river of tears or strategically ignoring the red-rimmed eyes, Seunghyun chooses the latter. If Jiyong wishes to talk about whatever it is that's bothering him, he'll confide in his hyung. For now, there is beer and pizza.

"We have one barbeque chicken and one supreme with extra everything, as per the Prince's request." Seunghyun winks cheekily as he plonks himself down onto their mattresses with a bounce. Jiyong always insists on ordering a supreme pizza because if you're consuming that many different vegetables, there's no way pizza can be unhealthy. "And the best beer I could afford. Still cheap as piss though, sorry." He wastes no time in cracking two cans open and handing one to the still very quiet Jiyong. "Cheers for moving the beds but seriously, Ji…" he gives the younger a disapproving look. "It's much safer with the two of us."

Along with their monthly Friday night marathon of tv episodes, they somehow started pushing their two single beds together in the centre of the room so they could see the tiny screen more comfortably. It certainly cheered Seunghyun up each month and gave him something to look forward to. Of course he was always a gentleman and kept his hands to himself but if Jiyong snuggled up to his side every now and then, well, he would gladly indulge his dongsaeng.

"Neh hyung," Jiyong murmurs quietly, bringing the can up to his lips.

Seunghyun can't be entirely sure if it's just his imagination but he swears ever since the heat delirium incident—as he likes to call it—Jiyong slips into these quiet moods. Over the last three months he's gotten the feeling Jiyong is trying to avoid being alone with him. The only time the younger boy seems to willing dedicate his free time to their friendship are these monthly movie nights.

He must have been staring again with those sad puppy eyes because Jiyong gives a tiny fraction of a smile. "Your hair's starting to grow out." Jiyong reaches over the pizza boxes which seemed to be creating a barrier between them. The tips of his fingers are cool from the beer can as they casually brush across his brow. "Do me a favour please, hyung? Never cut your hair that short again." Those long fingers slip through the short hairs sprouting like an overgrown alfalfa plant.

It takes a herculean effort to bite his tongue and not say something embarrassing like — 'I only cut it because you told me to.'

"So you find us a show to start?" Seunghyun asks, completely immersed in his current task at picking the perfect slice of pizza. His angle is to act like nothing's wrong. If he treats Jiyong any differently to before, then that's a free admission that something has changed. Their relationship has been altered.

"Umm yeah… some supernatural crime-fighting duo." Jiyong explains distractedly as he sets up the hard-drive and connects it their puny excuse for a television.

"So the usual then."

"Yeah but I'm pretty sure the main chick is bi and she's a succubus."

Sold. Any film or show that represents even one small portion of the LGBT community is an immediate winner for Jiyong and Seunghyun.

Like always, they spend the first few episodes awkwardly perched on opposite corners of the bed. As hard as he tries to concentrate on the whizzing storylines, Seunghyun can't break his focus away from Jiyong. His eyes are beginning to strain from the effort of continuously focussing on his peripheral vision. All Jiyong has done for the last seven minutes is pick off every single topping on his slices of pizza, one by one and then rolls up the tomatoey bread like a sleeping bag. It's driving him crazy that something has obviously upset Jiyong and he doesn't feel safe or confident enough to entrust Seunghyun with it.

After five or six episodes, Seunghyun is fed up with sitting in a rigid, cross-legged position simply to remain as close to Jiyong as possible. Usually by now his clingy dongsaeng would have tugged him down on to the soft pillows and snuggled up with him. It was an unspoken arrangement that they would just continue playing episode after episode until one of them fell asleep and Seunghyun knows he won't last much longer.

With Jiyong barely touching his beer, or pizza for that matter, Seunghyun has taken it upon himself to finish off the six pack of beer and his eyes are struggling to open again after each blink. During one of his strategic ten second power naps, it feels like there's a forcefield pushing him down on to the mattress and he gives in. Not long after he settles down on to the bed, Jiyong surprises him and inches over to his side.

This is all Seunghyun wants. A lazy night in with Jiyong all warm and safe in his arms. The blond boy wriggles nonstop until he finds his most comfortable position. Leg thrown over Seunghyun's hip, head nestled on to his rising and falling chest, hand resting over his heart. Suddenly Seunghyun can't breathe at a normal pace anymore. His mouth dries up after every loud swallow and Jiyong must be able to hear the gross sound of his Adam's apple bobbing up and down.

A loud sigh tickles Seunghyun's neck and in his beer-hazed state he can't decipher if it's a contented sigh or a huff of annoyance. Jiyong's tiny acts of affection don't really make it any clearer. The boy slowly inches his hand across Seunghyun's chest and trails down the length of his arm until his fingers wrap around his wrist. When their hands touch, Jiyong threads their fingers together and brings them to rest over Seunghyun's pounding heart.

"You smell better than my bolster." Jiyong giggles quietly into the heated skin of his neck.

Seunghyun's brain argues which is the funnier reply; 'Yeah, I smell like pizza and beer!' or 'Am I just as comfortable as your bolster too?' and oh wait, that one isn't funny at all. Oh . Now all he can think about is Jiyong's warm body hugging him. Seunghyun definitely needs to stop those thoughts before they create a dangerous problem.

Through sheer willpower alone, Seunghyun manages to keep himself awake for another two episodes, dreading every time those credits begin to roll on screen. What if this episode is the last one Jiyong can stay awake for? Maybe if the boy is tired enough, he'll just settle for Seunghyun's warm and solid body to cling to instead. He can hear the steady, calm rhythm of Jiyong's breath and thinks to himself the younger might have fallen asleep.

"Mmmm…" Jiyong half moans, half whines. "Turn it off, hyung." The boy yawns and rubs his face and Seunghyun finds it every bit of adorable.

Seunghyun bids his every wish and fumbles with the remotes and cords until the hard drive is disconnected and the screen turns black. When he blindly makes his way back over to the bed, Jiyong feels further away than before. Is it too much to hope for Jiyong to roll into his side and curl up with him for the night? All signs point to yes, because even in the dark, Seunghyun can make out the unmistakable shape of his sworn enemy.

"Do you still need your bolster tonight, Ji?" Seunghyun doesn't even attempt to mask his irritation at being tossed aside for the pillow.

"Course I need it." Jiyong scoffs and hitches his leg higher over the bolster. "Night."

"Yeah, g'night."

A/N: As always, please forgive any mistakes. I'm always back to edit and alter my fics multiple times. Stay tuned for the next installment, in which Seunghyun goes insane and murders the bolster. And there's a lucky star up for grabs for anyone who knows which television series I was referencing. (Kara, Sophie... this excludes you because we've spoken about it haha)