Motion

Description

A young Seunghyun and even younger Jiyong meet and fall in love on the bus. Short and simple two-shot, possibly three-shot, about two strangers crossing paths and moving forward.

Foreword

This will be really short. It's just something I tried out as a writing exercise and liked it too much to keep it locked away forever. There will definitely be two parts to this but who am I kidding, I will write a third and final part too.

Author's Thoughts
lapetitemort
only one more chapter to go ^^
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Comments

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Shootz #1
Chapter 3: This is lovely , I´ll be waiting for the last chapter. Sending you good vibes from here, I really love your story !
tayo-totshi-ai #2
Chapter 3: They are so cute together and your writing is awesome! I love all the details you put in the story and how natural they seem together :) Thanks for writing this story and sharing it with us *-*
bluedandelions #3
This was so cute. Shy Jiyong n y Seunghyun. Please update soon!!!!!
35pandora #4
Chapter 3: Reading it again. Seunghyun speaking Japanese. Again.
MaiDear #5
Chapter 3: Gosh it's perfect! I cant wait any longeeeer!!!!!! U are awesome!
GracieAnn #6
Chapter 3: This is probably one of the most eloquent Fanfics I have ever meandered upon. It was truly beautiful. The characters were so well thought out and interacted so cutely. All the fluff in the world, I loved it.
sophieness #7
Chapter 3: IMHO you write Jiyong and Seunghyun so well as characters, BUT YOU ENCASE THEM IN SO MUCH FLUFF I SWEAR did you rob BreadTop of their sugar delivery and just pour it straight in to this fic? Did you?
Ahem. Anywho, I also wanted to say that your writing style and story pacing here were spot on. I love the way you describe Jiyong - like how, 'to Seunghyun he is an open book full of exciting discoveries.'
And through all the fluff, this line had me with my elbows on the desk, head in my hands, reading over and over again because DAMMIT SEUNGHYUN I CANNOT GET ENOUGH OF YOUR VOICE:
"Other nights Jiyong is so exhausted from his full schedule that Seunghyun reads to him as the boy drifts off to sleep. It's one of the rare times Jiyong actually focuses on the texts he's required to read for English studies. They only ever sound vaguely interesting when spoken in Seunghyun's low timbre."
However there was one paragraph where you used quite a few stock phrases in a row and... it just distracted me: 'On his nerves', 'under his skin', wildest dreams', 'test the waters'. Expand one of them into your own words (because the flowery, eloquent writing is your style - and it is the style that best fits this story) and the reader will be drawn deeper into that world you have so carefully crafted.
P.s. Don't think I didn't notice that time when Seunghyun thought of Jiyong as 'princess' I SAW IT.
mikadosm #8
Chapter 3: Oh I love this chapter! I love how mature Seunghyun and how sassy diva innocent Jiyong is :) And their making out is so hot! And I crack up at the kimochi part. I'm thinking about a BL or a manga Ji. Keep writing!
MaryGTop #9
Chapter 3: i have no words to express how much I love this ^^
Gingercookie #10
Chapter 3: manga huh Ji? yeah ofc you read that, you naughty boy! >.<
anyway, just found it and its supeeeeerrrrr cuteeeee! thanks tee! i'm in! ^^
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