It's late in the afternoon, and as the autumn leaves fall, I stand outside the school gates waiting for my boyfriend.  He arrives with his black Ducati , donning a leather jacket and fitting jeans...my dark prince.  He hands me the other helmet as I ride,clinging tightly to his waist as the motor rumbles.  Then we zoom off, leaving the dumbfounded idiots eat dust.  This is my love life.....NOT! THAT was fantasy.  Now THIS is reality:

I get out of school at night because I'm busy preparing for the week-long festival.  My hair is in utter disaster, my body aches badly, and I reek of sweat because of the hours-long dance practice.  I walk 5 blocks east of the school and stand in front of an infamous convenience store and wait for at least 5 minutes for a shiny, silver Hyundai Tucson to appear.  Pop! The door opens, revealing a formal-looking and uber neat guy wearing a blue long-sleeved formal shirt and a crisp, white tie with eyes that speak nothing but cheerfulness as he flashes that disarming smile at me.

See the how the two scenarios are complete opposite of each other?  My friends have asked me why I ended up with a guy like him, who is exactly the opposite of my dream guy.  Let me just put it this way:  My pheromones seem to be bad boy repellents.

Anyway,his name is Yesung.  Despite him being somewhere near 30, he looks 20-ish.  Must be one of those medications he sells.  You see, he's a medical representative, selling new,state-of-the-art medications to Seoul's top doctors.  By the way, the car he drives?  That's the company car.  

======================

We've been "on" for about 3 months now, but as to why I really got committed to him, I can only guess.  Well, he's not a bad person actually.   Every time my dad delivers his "I-don't-have-a--for-a-son" sermon, I go straight to his apartment.  He'll cook galbi for me, the only decent meal he could come up with.  I've slept many times in his apartment, but we haven't really SLEPT.... just so we're clear.  In exchange for the stay, I cook breakfast for him, which is usually more lavish than my dinner.  

"Don't let your dad bring you down.  Your mom loves and accepts you...and I'm here for you always."  He would usually comfort me with those words.

"When you're already 21, perhaps you could move in permanently here in my apartment."  He suggested once.

"WOAH! Slow down there Mr. Maturity! It's not ike we're a real couple you know...", I replied.  Moving in?! With him?! Like...share bills, expenses and all?! I forgot to tell him how I get seizures when I hear those..."mature" terms.

I knew he was hurt, but he has to know that I'm just not that  kind of person.

"So if we're not a real couple, then... what am I to you?", he asked, his voiced showing a tinge of stinging pain.

"A very special....friend.", I replied, gathering all the strength I could to utter the last word.  

The rest of the night went uneasy, until he gave another reason to be upset.  "Yesung, what is this ornate box doing sitting next to my bag?"

"Why, it's a gift Wokie!".  Yes.  Gifts.  Like, almost very other week.  They're not really THAT expensive, but thinking that it's hard-earned money makes me cringe.

"I believe I told you about the 'No Gifts Policy' already, Yesung."

"But, what's wrong with that? I don't mind spending on gifts for you."

"Look...gifts are nice.  They really are...once in a while!  Not every week! Call me weirdo, but when I receive gifts from lovers, I feel chained and tied up.  It's like...you're putting a price tag on me!"  My boyfriend clearly did not like my speech.

"I spend stuff on you because I find you special,not because I want to tie you down or anything.  I'm willing to go the extra mile for you to show you how much you mean to me."  UGH! Cheesy lines!

"Well, you can do so without getting on the financial lane of that mile Yesung.  You, of all people, should know how to value hard-earned money!"  I think I struck yet another nerve, and he reminisced for a few seconds.  You see, Yesung is a province boy.  Since he was a real genius, he got a scholarship grant at a prestigious medical university in Seoul.  At 18, he left his hometown for good and started to earn money for himself.  

"Yesung, I'm sorry.  I'm just trying to make a valid point here."

"I know, I know.  It's just that,I see you every night,  so stressed out, and I know that when you get home,your dad is drunk again and he would verbally abuse you and you don't deserve to be treated like that.  I just thought that perhaps...those fluffy bears would cheer you up."

My Yesung...he knows me too well.  He gives me a lot of fluffy teddy bears and bear figurines, and bear-shaped pens, and stamps,and, and...and maybe he'll give one live bear if only it was legal.  I remember those nights when I was grounded.  I could not call him nor go to his apartment, soI just tuckthose bears close and soon enough I felt better.

"Yesung, I know you love me.  I'm just sorry for tonight.  I just feel so exhausted and all..."

"I understand."

I love how he remains cool and placid in situations like these.  Perhaps it comes along with the maturity?  I love how he acts like water when I act like fire.  I love how he always makes me feel special.

Perhaps I really am in love with him....but then again perhaps I just love the attention.  But as the thoughts wrestled in my head, little did I know that I fell asleep on his warm lap.

to be continued.....