"Hyung, let's go jogging again tomorrow okay?"

Tao used to say that to me,

Every night,

Before going to sleep. 

 

He would go to my room. 

 

He would give me something to drink upon noticing I'm still practicing my scripts for the following day's shooting.

 

Tao was like a real brother to me. 

 

Although we had different mothers,

We always treated each other as family.

 

I trust him. I always believed in him.

 

But there was just one thing I couldn't believe about him...

 

He kept on blaming Mike about the accidents I was involved in.

 

Yet, he couldn't convince me.

I didn't want to believe any of it.

Because Mike was a good friend,

Because I trusted Mike more than I trusted my own brother.

 

Mike and Tao had always been mortal enemies...

 

I thought Tao said those only because he disliked Mike.

 

I was wrong.

 

 

“Just because he says you can trust him,

doesn't mean you should.

It doesn't mean that you can just trust anyone around you!

I'm just trying to protect you, hyung.

 

I'm protecting you from him. "

 

His words were still stuck on my mind even as another day comes...

And another...and another...

 

How could I, Mike's best friend think of him as an enemy?

How could I just think that he wants me gone?

I always thought Tao was wrong.

I always thought that if there's someone out there who would consider killing me,

It would be no other than him.

I trusted the wrong person more than I should have trusted my own brother, Tao, the only family I have left.

 

"Listen here, Tao!" I grumbled, frowning. "No one is trying to kill me.

Besides, Mike is my friend. Why would he want to kill me? If there's one person in the world

Who would want to kill me, it's you!"

 

...."What?"

 

I didn't mean to say such words in front of him.

I was just...

I was just taken aback when he said Mike was planning to kill me.

We both know Mike was a good friend of mine...

 

He knows very well that I like working with Mike.

Mike was ... a good friend.

I never had doubts about him...

 

"You remember the first time you almost died, Kris hyung?

The car accident. You were lucky you survived that!

Also the factory accident, the explosion, and when someone assaulted you in the dressing room!

The food poisoning! If you didn't hand that food to your manager, you could've been in critical condition not him!

All of those that happened to you, Mike is behind everything.

Hyung, you have to believe me! I heard everything. I saw Mike... Hyung, you don't know Mike. He's not who you think he is. Hyung, believe me!

I know I don't have evidence, but you have to believe me! Stay away from Mike hyung."

 

I laughed. "Tao, stop being childish. I have no time to listen to your nonsense. Why would he even do that to me?"

 

"Do you think I would lie to you? Hyung, listen to me. I'm just asking you a favor... Don't trust him. Stay away from him. That's all I'm asking.

I promise I'll find a way.

I'll find a way, hyung. I will reveal his true identity to everyone. I'll prove it. Just stay away from him."

 

"No." I refused. "You stay away, Tao."

 

I regret.

 

I regret everything.

 

Tao must have been sad...

 

Because I never listened to him...

 

If only I listened to him,

 

He should still be alive right now.

 

If only I stopped him,

 

Then he's probably right by my side now.

 

"Hyung, don't drink that!" Tao rushed inside, soaked from the rain. I was surprised he came back to my room; I thought he was leaving for a vacation that night. He was panting, sweat rolling down his face. I glanced at the glass of wine I was holding and sighed unpleasantly.

"What now, Tao?" I asked, completely annoyed that this might be just one of his crazy accusations again.

"Mike-" he mumbled, still catching his breath. "He put poison in there!" 

"Shut up." I rolled my eyes and then I thought of the most unbelievable suggestion ever in my life. "Why don't you try it then and let's see what happens to you?" I gave him an evil smirk.

"You have no idea what you're talking about-" He carelessly grabbed the glass of wine I had in my hand and threw it on the floor. 

I stood up, aggravated. My hands balled up into fists as I glared into his scared eyes. "Leave, get out of my sight!" I shouted. "I don't want to see you ever again!" I could feel anger dwelling inside me. I looked back at the table between us and took a deep breath before taking the other bottle of wine Mike gave me earlier in the morning. "If I don't die right here right now, I'm gonna forget that you are my brother." I said but before the wine could reach my lips, Tao seized it from me and swallowed everything instead.

And I just stood there.

Watching him.

Listening to the noise he makes every time he drinks.

I waited.

I waited and waited for something not to happen, to prove that he is wrong and I am right.

But...

As I watched him, gasping for air...shaking...blinking his eyes...falling...

I was so scared.

I just wished that that moment was only a dream- but it wasn't a dream. It was really happening right in front of me, and all because of me.

I was losing my own brother.

"K-Kris..."

I don't remember what I said next. I just moved- I just ran to him, carried him before he could hit his head on the floor. I called for help around the house but I forgot it was only me and him living there. How could this happen? Have I forgotten that he's the only family I have left?!

"Tao, please- please stay with me!" I said, holding back my tears. I ran as I carried him on my back, my shirt was now covered in sweat. My legs felt heavier and weaker as I continued to run- I have to save him. I have to. I thought I can. I quickly put him at the backseat of my car and jumped in before starting the engine. My hands were trembling; it was so cold because I was too afraid I had done to him.

"K-Kris...save me p-please..." He managed to say those words before falling completely unconscious.

I thought I couldn't drive anymore.

But I had to, I couldn't let him die. Not right now, not like this, not ever!

As soon as we arrived in the nearest hospital, I began to cry. The nurses helped me take him in, but I stopped in the middle of the hospital. Tao's image remained on my mind. The way he looked while lying on that stretcher, unconscious and pale... It's all because of me.

So I prayed and prayed...

Lord, please save him. Save my brother.

But as soon as the doctor came out, I didn't know what to say anymore or how to react. I just stared at him blankly.

I was just reading his lips saying; "I'm sorry, we couldn't save him".

The next thing I remember, I was up for revenge. I was up to kill Mike...

But luck wasn't on my side that night.

Mike survived and the police caught me.

For years, I was locked in a cell... alone.

All those years alone, I was blaming myself why Tao died. That it's not Mike to be blamed, it should be me.

I just thought this is it, this is where I belong.  

I should be the one to be punished.

I...deserved this.