I still can't, 
There's so much that I want, so much That's seeping inside my heart and making me so eager to have but I can't.
I know people should be selfish sometimes, to want things to themselves from time to time, but I only let the smallest of things to want. 
But what I want the most, I can't have and I wont. 
Or maybe that's what I think is what i want the most isn't really what I want the most, because this is what I chose and eventually it would be what I want. 
Seeing the people i love get sick or hurt makes me hurt too, my heart will cry out and if I'm the one who'd cause  that pain, will hurt more. 
Thats why I cant, I can't let myself falter, I can't let my heart and mind speak to you as if we have a future.