It's almost the end of summer.

He looks up at the clear, blue sky and Park Chanyeol wonders how it can be so calm and beautiful when his world feels so dark and gloomy. He closes his eyes against the bright sunlight and two wayward tears slide down the side of his face. His bag and his sketchpad were carelessly strewn about and the concrete floor of the school's rooftop is cold and hard against his back but he doesn't feel it. The discomfort is nothing compared to the pain that seemed to have taken his heart hostage and refuses to let go. Having your heart broken for the first time is no fun at all.

The problem is even with his eyes closed, he still sees her—the result of being in love with the same person more than half of his life. He has memorized every shape—every curve and slope—of her face that he can draw her easily, anytime and anywhere. But he can't help but recall the last time he saw it, those almond eyes full of regret and pity, heart-shaped mouth drawn into a tight line. His treacherous mind replays the scene earlier; again and again until there he feels new cracks forming in his heart.

Chanyeol weeps, thinking: should he have not said anything? Should he have just stayed quiet and be content with being close by her side? With the way she had stared at him, what will become of their friendship now?

"Look at what you've done. You should have just kept your big mouth closed," he tells himself, bitterly. Except, could he really have? It was pointless to pretend he could have kept it all in. His feelings were too big to contain, he'd have exploded if they were left unsaid.

"So tired," Chanyeol sighs.

The gentle wind ruffles his hair and dries his quiet tears as he lies there.

"Ooh, this is pretty!"

Chanyeol's startled by the unfamiliar voice. He quickly opens his eyes and sits up to find a young guy crouching beside him, looking through his sketchpad. The boy is smiling widely and humming with delight as he turns the pages. His skin is pale against his uniform and his dark hair is a bit long, his small eyes playing peek-a-boo through the gaps of his fringe. Chanyeol gets a bit distracted by the student's slender fingers as they carefully trace the lines of his sketches.

"Who is this?" the boy asks and turns his head towards Chanyeol, grinning and showing even, white teeth. "She's pretty. Is she your girlfriend?"

Belatedly remembering that he doesn’t allow anyone to look through his drawings, Chanyeol snatches the sketchpad from the stranger and clasps it protectively against his chest. "It's none of your business!"

"She's so lucky to have someone draw her like that." The boy angles his head and studies him. "You really care for her, don't you? No one has done that for me before. Aah, I'm so jealous."

Chanyeol looks away and holds onto the sketchpad tighter. "It's no big deal. I draw lots of other stuff, too. Besides, I'm in the Arts club."

"Ooh, the Arts club? That's cool." The other teen sits more comfortably on the floor, flustering Chanyeol a little with the way he appeared to be engrossed in whatever the taller boy has to say. "But surely this girl's special because," he gestures towards the sketchpad, "you wouldn't hold onto that tightly as you do if she wasn't."

"She's my childhood friend," Chanyeol answers, defensively. "Just my friend."

"Hmmm."

"What?" Chanyeol frowns. He can't believe he's getting riled by this stranger.

"You love her," the boy says. "You're in love with her."

"So what?" he asks, almost angrily. "So what if I do? It doesn't matter anyway. She already rejected me!"

"Oh."

"Yes, she rejected me." The taller boy bows his head dejectedly and hides his face behind the leather cover of his sketchpad. "I confessed to her an hour ago, waited until we were alone before I told her I've loved her for a long time." Chanyeol lets out a short, hollow laugh and he shakes his head. "She had this really awkward expression..."

The boy remains silent but Chanyeol can't seem to stop talking.

"I knew there was a possibility she won't return my feelings. I was prepared for it. I really was. But it still hurt." He remembers his best friend's hand hovering on top of his. It's the first time she was ever hesitant about touching him. "I didn't mean to make things difficult for her by falling in love. It just happened."

Chanyeol was caught unaware, too. One day he just woke up realizing he was in love with his best friend. How could he have stopped when she was perfect?

Now, Chanyeol feels like an idiot because he just realized he told his story to a stranger who probably didn't give a damn. Yet somehow it felt good to say it out loud. Weird.

"You're amazing," the guy suddenly blurts out.

"Huh?"

"You confessed to her knowing that you're putting your friendship on the line," the short boy says, seriously. "If it were me, I'd be too scared and will never ever do that. You are pretty amazing just for having the guts to confess."

The other teen's staring at him in genuine admiration and Chanyeol can feel his ears warm up. His face is probably red with the blush stealing over his cheeks at the unexpected compliment. "Am not," he mumbles.

"Yes, you are!" The boy insists. He sticks out his hand and grins. "Baekhyun, second year. And you are?"

He doesn't even know why he takes the handshake. "Park Chanyeol, first year."

"Alright, Park Chanyeol. Let's be friends!" Baekhyun shimmies closer to where Chanyeol is sitting until their shoulders are touching. "Don't worry. Hyung is here to help you take all of your heartaches away."

Chanyeol glances down at the boy slumped next to him. "You're weird."

Baekhyun laughs out loud and the sound is part annoying and part...endearing. "I'm special." He then pries the sketchpad from Chanyeol's tight grip. "Now let's put this away for now and let hyung comfort you."

Chanyeol doesn't understand what the other meant until he feels a pair of cold hands unbuckling his belt. "Hey!" he exclaims, slapping the hands away and pushing Baekhyun off. "You !"

Baekhyun collapses on his back in laughter. Chanyeol huffs and stands up, done with the older male. "You're the worst."

"Just kidding!" Baekhyun manages to get out in between giggles. "I swear, I was just kidding."

But Chanyeol ignores him and picks up his things. He gives him one last glare before he stomps off, grumbling about erted boys who should know their place.

"See you next time, then!" Baekhyun calls out, mirth still evident in his voice.

Chanyeol resists the urge to look back over his shoulder lest Baekhyun think he's okay with what he did. He runs down the stairs, eager to get away from there. He clutches at his chest and feels his heart beat quite strongly. Curious, because he swore not an hour ago that it was already broken.

He feels something loom over his shoulder before a too cheerful voice speaks into his ear. "Boo!"

Chanyeol has learned not to get surprised whenever Baekhyun sneaks up on him like this. That and he has also learned that it's futile to tell the other boy to leave him alone. He has told him to go away at least a thousand times but Baekhyun still makes it a point to climb up the creaky stairs towards the rooftop every day after classes to mess with him. Chanyeol knows he could avoid seeing him by not coming up there himself, but the rooftop is his own (used to be) private sanctuary so why should he be the one to leave?

"I brought drawing things!" Baekhyun says excitedly, dangling a pencil in front of Chanyeol's face before sitting down.

Chanyeol puts down his pen and looks at the elder. "I'm doing my English paper," he says but Baekhyun just looks questioningly at him. He sighs and, as usual, gives in. "What is it that—"

"It's just that it's been so long since I last saw you draw," Baekhyun cuts in. "So I thought maybe it's because you already forgot how to. That's why I'm helping you out."

Yes, it's true that he hasn't drawn since a month ago—the day he confessed to his best friend—but it isn't because he forgot how to, that's absurd. It isn't because he got rejected. It wasn't even for lack of trying. He has attempted to sketch but nothing comes out. His hand would hover above a blank piece of paper and all he'd end up doing is staring at it until he gets frustrated. He's not a great artist to begin with so he might as well give up. "You're wasting your time."

But Baekhyun just shrugs and goes about arranging his supplies, humming and bopping his head to some inaudible beat. His brows knot in concentration as he straightens out a couple of pencils, pink tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth while he attempts to put them completely parallel to each other.

Chanyeol unwillingly watches the other boy and he thinks, not for the first time, that Baekhyun is tiny. He's older but the top of his head doesn't even reach Chanyeol's nose. He does have broad shoulders but everything else about Baekhyun is small—his brown eyes, his button nose, his body, his pretty hands.

He's tiny. And perhaps he's cute, too.

Chanyeol shakes his head. No, he isn't. What he is, is a pest. A naggy little mouse that drives Chanyeol totally insane with his endless giggles and large gestures and...

The taller male watches as Baekhyun nods, lips quirking, satisfied with his work.

...his dazzling and adorable smiles.

Okay, he concedes, Baekhyun's cute. But only when his mouth is shut. When he opens it, it's all Chanyeol can do not to throw him off the roof. He admits he sometimes enjoys the company.  Baekhyun hasn't done anything inappropriate since that time they met. Except maybe sitting too close that he's almost on Chanyeols lap or being too much of a snoop and asking and asking and asking about him.

If it's any consolation, it's only after class that he sees Baekhyun so it isn't so bad.

"There. Done!" Baekhyun claps and catches Chanyeol's attention. "Have a go at it."

"I told you I can't draw anymore."

Baekhyun's shoulders droop. He chews on his lower lip and plays with the hem of his uniform. The temperature's already dropping, signalling the start of fall. Chanyeol absently thinks Baekhyun should be in his winter uniform by now.

"Is it because of her?" the elder asks, subdued.

"No. It's not," Chanyeol replies readily. It's true, this isn't about her. It is awkward sharing classes with his best friend and not talking to her. There's still that pinch in his chest when he hears her name but he doesn't get the urge to run away when he sees her in the corridors anymore. He'd like to believe he's getting over her, no matter how slow the process is. "I just don't feel like it."

Chanyeol's shocked to see Baekhyun's mouth tremble and his eyes starting to water.

"Hey! Hey, are you crying?!"

"No," Baekhyun denies although the answer ends in a small hiccup. "I’m just sad."

"But why?" he asks incredulously.

Baekhyun grabs the front of Chanyeol's shirt, tightly. "Because your drawings are beautiful and this world needs beautiful things."

That seems pretty extreme, Chanyeol thinks. Nonetheless, he lifts his free hand and gingerly pats Baekhyun head. "They're not worth your tears, Baekhyun. Stop crying."

"But," Baekhyun starts, hugging Chanyeol's arm and resting head on the taller boy's shoulder. "It's a waste, Chanyeol." He looks up and there are tears clinging onto his lashes, making his eyes sparkle and all Chanyeol can do is stare.

He feels his face heat up because Baekhyun's so, so close. Chanyeol continues patting the elder's head, scrambling for something to say, anything to break whatever mood they're in. He feels Baekhyun shiver against him and instinctively, Chanyeol gathers the boy closer.

"I told you, it's cold," he scolds him gently. "Change into winter uniform, okay?"

"I'm a grown man," Baekhyun boasts, although the effect is ruined when he shivers again and buries his nose against Chanyeol's shirt. "I'm not afraid of a little chill."

"Whatever," Chanyeol mutters, unconsciously drawing Baekhyun more comfortably on his lap. They stay there, unmoving for some time, unmindful that the sky is already darkening with the setting of the sun.

"Chanyeol?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you want hyung to comfort you now?"

Chanyeol glances down at Baekhyun and sees his impish grin. For someone older, he looks like a mischievous kid. He rolls his eyes and flicks Baekhyun's nose. "I'm leaving."

"No! I was just kidding." Baekhyun returns to snuggling into Chanyeol's embrace. "Just kidding so don't go yet."

Chanyeol eyes his unfinished assignment before placing his chin on top of the smaller boy's head. He doesn't really want to leave.

It's strange. They're strange.

Chanyeol's not certain how it has blossomed from an entanglement he doesn't want to some sort of (almost) friendship he doesn't want to be without.

After just a few weeks of inane conversations and of Baekhyun trying to get into his pants ("I’m kidding. Just kidding," or so he says), going up there to the rooftop and waiting for Baekhyun has become a habit he can't quit. When before he dreads the moment the older boy will appear and take away his peace, now he listens for his footsteps and anticipates whatever antic Baekhyun will pull just to startle Chanyeol. (Baekhyun has yet to succeed)

They don't do anything much when they're together. Sometimes, even if he has tons of homework to do, he just hauls everything up there and lets Baekhyun dance around him while he works. The other man isn't much of a help with school work. No, he's no help at all.

But it's okay because somehow, knowing Baekhyun's beside him is enough.

He forgets about heartbreak and lost friendships. He begins to live for every ‘see you next time’. And all he thinks about is him—how he wants to, maybe, hold Baekhyun's hand.

He's late for class because his stupid alarm didn't go off (or maybe it did, he just didn't wake up).

Chanyeol runs to his class, almost slipping on the newly mopped floors with his haste. Two more corners and he's there. He managed to slip through the closing gates, he can't give up now.

He staggers to a halt, though, and he feels his jaw drop when he catches something at the corner of his eye. He stands stupefied when a few feet away he sees his best friend talking with a guy. She's blushing and holding out an envelope. It's obvious: she's confessing.

Chanyeol absently holds his breath, waiting for the boy's answer. He surprises himself when his mind chants, Say yes. Wait. He actually wants them to be together?

But it's true. The boy should accept his best friend. She's still as perfect as ever and the guy would have to be stupid to let the chance go. If she liked him, then he must be a great guy. So say yes, you dumb , Chanyeol mentally shouts.

He watches as the male student reaches for the envelope and then for her hand and Chanyeol wanted to hoot in glee. Belatedly realizing that he's irrevocably late for class, he breaks his silence and runs past the new couple. "Hey, we're already late for class but congratulations!"

He doesn't see it but he knows his best friend's smiling when she calls out, "You idiot! But thank you!"

He runs and every step feels light. It's like he has turned a new page and a burden has been lifted from his shoulders. Because now he's sure, he's completely over her. Gotta tell, Baekhyun, he thinks excitedly. Just the thought of the tiny boy got him smiling even more.

Although, it seems time has chosen that day to be extremely slow. Chanyeol taps his pen repeatedly against his desk, willing the hour hand to go faster, not entirely sure why he's so anxious to see Baekhyun and tell him what happened earlier. It won't make a difference anyway.

But he still jumps on his feet and rushes outside the second the school bell rang. He's out of breath but he can't keep the grin off his face as he barges through the students crowding the corridors. Soon enough he reaches the bottom of the stairs leading to the rooftop and he stops, urging his heart to slow down. Weird, why are you being weird? he asks himself.

Inhaling deeply, he slowly takes the steps up, clutching at the strap of his backpack firmly. He reaches the top and carefully opens the door. He's not sure if Baekhyun's already there or not but either way, he's happy. Just happy.

He walks into the open air and his hair is pushed back by a cold gust of wind. Chanyeol turns his head to look for Baekhyun and he sees him leaning against the wall, eyes closed and face turned up to the sky. He forces himself to stay calm as he walks towards the older boy, although he can't quite rein the happiness he’s feeling because as he looked at Baekhyun, he realizes...he's free.

Free. Park Chanyeol is free.

Baekhyun senses his presence and he grins, waving merrily when he sees Chanyeol. "Mr. Park!”

Chanyeol nods and wordlessly sits beside the shorter boy. It hits him. This is it. It’s exactly what he's been looking forward to the whole day.

"What is it? You look kinda scary," Baekhyun teases, eyes round as he observes at the taller boy.

Chanyeol looks at the hand resting on his lap. He really kind of wants to hold it in his. So without permission he does it and startles Baekhyun into a confused squeak. It's soft but it's cold. He frowns at Baekhyun's thin shirt. "I told you to change uniforms. I get cold just looking at you."

"I don't even feel the cold," the short boy says.

"Is that why your hand is freezing?" Chanyeol envelopes both of Baekhyun's small hands in his larger ones. He feels a rush of exasperation... and helpless affection. He's suddenly filled with the need to protect Baekhyun from any harm. "It's almost winter."

"Ah, winter, huh?" Baekhyun answers faintly. "It's around that time—"

"What time?"

"Nothing." Sidling up to him, Baekhyun flutters his lashes at Chanyeol. "If you're so worried about me, why don't you keep me warm?" He then proceeds to playfully pounce on Chanyeol.

What they both don't expect is Chanyeol catching him in his arms and drawing Baekhyun's head against the crook of his neck. It's unexpected but Chanyeol can't seem to let him go. After a tense silence, he hears Baekhyun sigh and jokingly say, "This is so nice. But do you know what's nicer? A kiss. It's the perfect time for a kiss." The older boy chuckles and puckers his lips.

It's a joke and Chanyeol knows it is but he still tips Baekhyun's chin up. Before either of them can do anything about it, Chanyeol goes completely crazy and he kisses him and this kiss... this kiss... those lips feel like finding what he's always been looking for. Chanyeol closes his eyes tightly, afraid that for all of Baekhyun's ridiculous ways of coming onto him, he doesn't really like Chanyeol. What if Baekhyun's really just kidding? What if he doesn't like overly tall boys with funny ears? What if—

Baekhyun places his hand against Chanyeol's cheek; he deepens the kiss and all of Chanyeol's thoughts scatter. Baekhyun. Baekhyun. Be my Baekhyun.

A lifetime later, they come up for air, breaking the kiss but lips still touching. Chanyeol stares into the endless depths of Baekhyun's eyes and inside his chest, he feels something throb, a steady thrum of beats that perfectly spell out Baekhyun's name in big, permanent marks on his heart.

Baekhyun stares right back and then he smiles, and glows and steals Chanyeol's breath once again.

I think I like you. "You know the day we met, when you said you were jealous looking at my drawing?" he whispers instead, cradling the side of Baekhyun's face.

"Yeah, I was so jealous."

"I can draw one for you," Chanyeol promises.

Baekhyun's eye light up like a thousand stars. "Really? You will?"

The younger male nods. Baekhyun starts to get all giddy and begins to talk a mile a minute, chattering animatedly and endlessly that Chanyeol's shocked to see tears form in the tiny boy's eyes.

"Hey," he says worriedly.

"I'm just so happy," Baekhyun says with a teary laugh.

Happy. Yeah, Chanyeol knows the feeling.

Since it's the first time he's drawing after such a long time, Chanyeol wants to go all out. Instead of a sketch, he's going to paint Baekhyun and he's confident that it will be his best art yet. He goes to the Arts Club room and finds Mr. Kim, the old arts teacher, putting finishing touches on a still-life painting. The man greets him and bids him to enter. The room smells of linseed oil and paint, of varnished wood and paper. It’s a scent Chanyeol has missed.

"Sir, I'm doing a painting, can I reuse one of those old canvasses?" Chanyeol says, pointing to a shelf filled with used canvass, frames arranged like weathered books.

"Help yourself," the teacher answers. "Doing something special?"

"Yeah." Something special for someone special.

The boy walks over and goes through the larger canvasses. Luckily, most of them are still in good condition. He takes out the best one from the lot. Unlike the others, this one appears to be a finished painting—a portrait. He wipes at the dust covering the canvass, curious and wanting to see what's beneath.

Chanyeol stands frozen on the spot. Because there on the old canvass...

The same beautiful eyes, same cheerful curve of the lips. The same pretty face.

"Sir," he turns and stiffly walks towards the old teacher. He shows him the painting, mind whirring. "Sir, this."

"Ah, not bad, right?" Mr. Kim says, squinting at the portrait. "That one's done by a student, years ago. The model's his close friend. A cheerful kid, he was." The man sighs. "A pity he died so young. It was summer when he jumped off the roof of the school."

“When…”

“That was eight years ago, I believe.”

Mr. Kim tells him a lot more, things that he can’t fully absorb. When it became too much, Chanyeol thanks the teacher and goes out of the room, holding tightly onto the canvass. Once outside, his knees weaken and he slumps back against a wall.

That's why he's always in his summer uniform.

"Hi-yo!"

From his spot on the floor, Baekhyun greets him happily. As if Chanyeol's world isn't closing up on him. The older boy waves once and then returns to his perusal of the sky.

"Baekhyun," Chanyeol says hoarsely. "Byun Baekhyun."

The shorter male's expression falls bit by bit. He turns his eyes on Chanyeol. "I've been found out."

There's a painful lump in Chanyeol's throat. "Baekhyun... are you... are you a—"

"Ghost?" Baekhyun pretends to think for a moment. "Yeah, I guess I am." He chuckles awkwardly and he appears to be happy but the boy drops the act soon enough. He faces Chanyeol, hugging his knees to his chest. "I'm sorry, Chanyeol."

"Why?" he asks. "Why did you kill yourself?"

Baekhyun quickly shakes his head in denial. "It wasn't suicide."

Chanyeol feels too tired to stand so he slumps down next to Baekhyun. He can't even bring himself to get scared. This is still his Baekhyun. He just wants to understand. "So you didn't?"

"No, but I did want to kill myself," the elder replies. He offers Chanyeol a sad half-smile. "There was a person that I liked. I liked him so much but I didn't have the guts to tell him. Every day, I watch him walk beside me and I love him but I'm so scared. So I convinced myself it's okay. If I could stay by his side then everything's okay."

"I was a fool. I kept on thinking I was in step with him. I didn't notice I was already falling behind... that he already was a mile ahead. He already had someone he liked." Baekhyun rests his head on Chanyeol's shoulder. "And she liked him back. He was so happy, Chanyeol. When he told me they're going out, it was the happiest I've seen him."

"Right after I ran here to end my sadness. I went over that barrier fence, but once there..." Baekhyun chuckles. "I remembered I was afraid of heights. I was shaking so hard. You can say I was spooked into giving up."

Chanyeol leans against Baekhyun's smaller frame. He wants to memorize his face from this angle. From every angle.

"Falling, it was just an accident. I was too clumsy, my foot slipped. And so here I am," Baekhyun straightens and meets Chanyeol's eyes with his. "As I was falling, I thought of how meaningless it all seemed. I should have just confessed to my friend. If I just had the guts to, it wouldn't have ended up this way. I've been stuck here for eight years."

Chanyeol gazes at the boy beside him and he thinks he's glowing and still so beautiful.

"I saw you and your drawings of her, and you reminded me of him. I was jealous. I wanted you to notice me. I'm sorry, Chanyeol. I shouldn't have."

"Yeah," Chanyeol answers. Baekhyun really shouldn't have. How was he going to do this?

"I'm really sorry."

"I'm sorry, too," the taller guy picks up the canvass he brought with him. "I promised to do a portrait of you but I think I'll have to pass." He takes off the paper wrapped around the painting and shows it to the other boy.

Baekhyun gasps and grabs onto the frame.

"Someone already drew one. He observed you closely that every shadow and is perfect. I can't possibly draw better." Chanyeol hands the canvass over to Baekhyun, steeling himself from a very persistent ache in his chest. "Mr. Kim said... the painter really liked Byun Baekhyun's smile. They said he drew this right after the Byun boy passed away. He made countless portraits but this is the only one left."

Baekhyun places the portrait on his lap and Chanyeol sees teardrops falling onto the canvass, every damp spot returning back to life.

"If only... If only I had..." Baekhyun stutters.

The younger guy pulls Baekhyun to him, pressing his face against the soft cloth of his shirt. "The portrait, I would say the model had a love-struck expression. So maybe, the painter already had an inkling what the Byun boy felt."

Baekhyun cries harder, shoulders shaking beneath Chanyeol's arm. "You're really a good guy, Chanyeol," he sobs loudly. "I don't know why you got rejected. If it were me—"

"Shut up, Baekhyun." Chanyeol closes his eyes and lets Baekhyun cry on his chest. "Just cry."

"Th-thank you. Thank you so much, Chanyeol."

At the end of the day, when he leaves, Baekhyun waves at Chanyeol from the rooftop door just like always. But he doesn't say see you next time.

It was the first time he said goodbye.

It's winter.

He takes the familiar steps towards the rooftop. It's cold but that doesn't stop him from going. The colors of summer have already faded. The skies are overcast. Chanyeol steps onto the concrete floor and looks around.

"Ah, of course he's not here."

Chanyeol throws his bag and sketchpad down and sits on the hard ground. How long has it been? A week but he's still not used to the emptiness that welcomes him when he comes up here.

Baekhyun. Byun Baekhyun.

Chanyeol lies on his back and wishes he'd fall asleep. Because in his dreams he isn't so far away.

But as he cushions his head with an arm, his head turns an angle and he catches sight of a spidery handwriting on the wall. He quickly rolls onto his stomach and reads.

Maybe we'll meet each other again one summer.

Chanyeol laughs. He bows his head; presses his eyes to his arm.

And cries for his second heartbreak.

credits:

- this fic is based on Kosha Ura no Natsu by Sakurabi Hashigo

- title of the fic from the lyrics of "Bring Me the Night" - Sam Tsui & Kina Grannis

- written to the tune of Turning Pages- Sleeping At Last  IT IS AWESOMEST.

author's note:

- please blame kisha for this. i don't even know the whys and the hows. it just happened.

- i know i have to update fics but.. again, i'm sorry.

- please eveyone, i know it has been a very happy chanbaek day so pls don't kill me.

- thanks to my babes steph and to my madame nikka for everything. 

- bye ;;

ps.

- hi rebecca-ship-senpai lol