CHAPTER 13

“Bummie…Are you serious?” Jinki asked for the 100^th times. He couldn’t believe the words that came out from his cousin’s mouth just now. What the hell was he thinking? Jinki couldn’t understand his cousin at all.

“For god sake! Yes! How many times do I have to tell you” Kibum didn’t seem to notice the unsure looks that Jinki had, since he voice out his intention.

“Are you sure about this, Kim Kibum? This thing couldn’t be taken too lightly. I know you wanted to forget Jonghyun, but do you have to get married to Woohyun?” Jinki was sincerely disappointed on how Kibum take the marriage matter, lightly.

Kibum couldn’t help but to flinch, hearing his beloved cousin called him by his full name. Jinki wasn’t the one who like to get angry, but it wasn’t a good idea to make him angry. He could be twice scary than Kibum’s father.

“Yes, I’m sure hyung. You don’t know how miserable I felt, going through this pregnancy alone. You wasn’t there when Jonghyun said those cruel words. I wish I could forget everything, so it wouldn’t hurt this much. That’s why I’m giving Woohyun a chance to make me happy. I want to smile and laugh again.” Kibum said with teary eyes. He knew that was wrong of him to use Woohyun like that, but he needed someone to be there with him along with his baby.

Jinki could only look at his cousin without uttering any words. If only Kibum know how Jonghyun lived for these past three month, he wouldn’t even dare to complain. Jinki knew Kibum is the one who needs support from everyone, considering how bloated his stomach is, but Jonghyun who lives alone in his misery, won’t survive if he knew Kibum will be married to Woohyun.

Kibum is the only reason why Jonghyun endure those hate and hardships all alone. If Kibum decides to get married with Woohyun, Jinki is sure as hell, Jonghyun wouldn’t try to survive anymore.  He saw how unhappy Jonghyun is. How will he make Jonghyun and Kibum reunited, when both of them had given up on their broken relationship?

Jinki distinctly remember the conversation he had with Jonghyun last week. Jonghyun had told him that he didn’t care if Kibum and their daughter hate him, he could bear the hatred as long as he know Kibum and their baby is safe. Jinki also told Jonghyun that Kibum will be getting his surgery next week and guess what? Jonghyun knew about it, because he calculated every single day without fail. Jinki almost lost his cool in front of Jonghyun, as his tears almost fall while hearing the latter’s story.

“Bummie…Are you sure, Jonghyun meant everything he said before? Please, I beg of you…think about it once again. I don’t want to see your cry like that ever again.” Jinki gently uttered. If Kibum’s life wasn’t in danger, he sure would spill everything that he knew about Jonghyun. He couldn’t help but to seal the truth, even if he knew about it. To make matter worse, he didn’t even have any proof towards that criminal. How in hell would he tell the police? They sure won’t believe it.

It was hard to hear his family talking bad about Jonghyun, when the younger’s life was harder than anyone at this moment. He was punished for something that wasn’t his fault. Jonghyun didn’t wish for anything except for Kibum and their baby’s safety.

“I’m sure hyung…It’s about time for me to give Woohyun a chance. I want to give myself a chance to love someone that worth of my love” Kibum replied while holding his big bump, as his baby decides to kick his tummy. It was as if, she’s opposing the word he uttered just now.

No one worth your love except Jonghyun, if only you knew how hard he was living for your safety.

Jinki bows his head down in disappointment towards his cousin, while whispered “If only you know…” but it didn’t reach Kibum’s hearing.

Jinki was about to ask Kibum to go to the café where Jonghyun’s work, but his hand phone beat him to it. He pried out his phone to check the caller id.

“Give me a second” Jinki excused himself, which makes Kibum frowned.

What did he hide from me and why did he look so disappointed towards this marriage? He never excuses himself to answer the phone, so why now?

---

“Hello, Jonghyun?”

“Hyung, don’t ever come and meet me again. They know about it. Please, don’t tell Kibum anything. I wouldn’t forgive myself if something happen to Kibum.” Jonghyun sounded so restless and tired.

“Who told you?” Jinki inquire

“Hyung, Please don’t tell anyone about what you know. Bummie will forget me eventually.” Jonghyun decided to ignore Jinki’s question. What different would it be if Jinki know? They didn’t have proof against Jessica and her ally.

“Would you forget then?”

Only silence answered Jinki’s question, but Jonghyun didn’t stay silent for a long time when he decided to avoid talking about that “Hyung, I have to work. Bye.” With that, Jonghyun cut off the call without waiting for Jinki’s reply.

Why did you torture yourself like this, Jonghyun? I’ll make sure that you will be present when your baby is coming.

---

After he ended the phone call with Jinki, Jonghyun once again let his tears falls on his wet cheeks while checking on the message that Jessica sent to him earlier in the morning.

From : Jessica

Don’t even dare to tell Jinki everything. You know what could happen.

He lied to Jinki that he had work to do, when today is his holiday. He didn’t want to drag Jinki into his problem.

Jinki had told him that Kibum also stays in Daegu, but he couldn’t do anything about it. He wanted to see his beloved face. He miss the younger so much, so very much that it hurt.

“Bummie, I miss you…what do I do to make it stops hurting?” Jonghyun whispered to no one in particular. He hoped that Kibum already forget about him, He didn’t want Kibum to feel the hurt that he was feeling at this moment.

Jonghyun silently hoped from the bottom of his heart, that he will be the first one to see his baby. He won’t ask for anything else, except for that.

---

Jinki went into Kibum’s bedroom once again, as he finished talking to Jonghyun, only to find Kibum is bending down while holding his bump.

“It hurts hyung...” Kibum weakly whispered.

Jinki instantly approach the younger and scoop the pregnant man into his arms, heading to his car. His hands instantly pried out his hand phone and car key.

“Come to the Daegu Hospital…It seemed that the baby is coming” was all Jinki said, before he speed up the car.

---

Kibum is immediately admitted to the Intensive Care Unit as soon as they arrived at the hospital, according to the doctor Kibum is going to have his baby earlier than they had expected. Jinki is waiting in front of the room, anxiously while hoping the c-section surgery will go well.

15 minutes after Kibum admission, the doctor came out once again and Jinki approach the doctor in that instant, hoping to hear only good news. He prayed that the doctor won’t tell him any bad news.

“Are you his husband? You can enter the surgery room if you are the husband” Jinki couldn’t help but to let out a relief sigh at the question. It only meant one thing, Kibum is okay.

Before Jinki could answer the doctor’s question, someone beat him to it.

“I am his husband and I’d like to enter” Jinki once again let out a relief sigh at the sight of the café’s cashier. He really is glad that Jonghyun came at the right time.

It was Jinki intention to make Jonghyun present at this crucial time. That is why; Jonghyun was the first and the last person he called to inform Kibum’s condition. He, of course feels bad towards Soohyun and Yeon U, but he had to do this. If he told them, surely Jonghyun won’t be allowed to stay with Kibum in the surgery room. He had to do this, at least.

It is nearly impossible to make Kibum and Jonghyun back to what they were. It wasn’t easy as he thought. He wanted Kibum to be together with Jonghyun again, but it is impossible when Kibum’s life is in danger. At the end, he couldn’t do anything but to seal the truth. Just like Jonghyun did for the past three month.

I’m sorry Jonghyun for giving up this early. To make it up, I’ll let you stay with Bummie throughout this surgery.

---

After wearing the right outfit, Jonghyun entered the surgery room with his fluttering heart. How can his heart didn’t go crazy, when he finally could meet Kibum again after the three month of torture, even if Kibum won’t know that he was there. The younger was sedated from the moment he enter the surgery room. The doctor had told Jonghyun to hold Kibum’s hand and keep talking to the younger; Kibum could hear everything, only he couldn’t answer.

Jonghyun couldn’t help but to lose strength in his knees after he saw Kibum’s state. It was as if, he could feel how hurt Kibum is. Lying on the cold steel with all those wires attached against his body. Jonghyun make a perfect fall in the surgery room, but he was helped by the nurse, who looks like she understands how he is feeling at this moment.

Slowly he makes a step towards his beloved and gently grabs the younger’s hand that fits perfectly in his hand. Jonghyun felt like he was in heaven to finally able to hold Kibum’s hand after all those s happen. He missed the warmth and the softness of Kibum’s hand. He couldn’t help but to tear up at this reunion, even if he was the only one who aware of it.

“Baby, I missed you so much” Jonghyun whispered while planting a soft kiss on Kibum’s hand.

Jonghyun didn’t saw how the surgery works, because all he could care of is nothing but Kibum. Of course he was worried of their baby, which is why he silently prays that their baby and Kibum will be alright. He doesn’t want to be a nuisance towards the doctor and the nurses. That is why; he stayed besides Kibum, whispering nothing but sweets words.

“Baby…I’m sorry for only coming now, I love you. It wasn’t a lie.” Jonghyun whispered, but it didn’t go unheard by the nurses who are assisting the doctor.

The nurses almost squealing loudly, hearing those sweet words that Jonghyun uttered towards the unconscious man. They couldn’t help but to envy Kibum at how much love that Jonghyun had towards the younger.

Jonghyun is actually still in shock to get the call saying that his Bummie is having their baby. The baby wanted to came earlier than what the doctor had scheduled. It seemed that the baby is excited to see the world, that’s what the doctor said to Jonghyun before they enter the surgery room.

Jonghyun was more than happy to be with Kibum at this time. At least, he could provide mental support to Kibum even if the younger hates him with all his heart.

“Bummie, I’m sorry…I’m so sorry. Live a happy life with our baby and f-find a new love” Jonghyun whispered again, but he messed up at the last words. It was hard to utter those words and it is hard to imagine that his Bummie are living happily with someone that isn’t him, but he would bear all those hurtful things as long as he know Kibum and their baby are safe.

Jonghyun didn’t know how long he had been there, holding Kibum’s hand, but he know it was long enough to make his tear dried up and his hands start to get a little cramp.

The surgery went for about two hours, when usually it only takes 50 minutes. Only after two hours, Jonghyun heard the first cry of their beautiful daughter. The nurse let him hold his daughter without even washing her bloodied body. Jonghyun wish that he could die at this moment, because this is the most beautiful and touching moment he ever felt in his life.

“Baby girl, welcome…” Jonghyun tears falls along with his words.

His mother always says that, a newly born baby won’t stop crying, until she had a skin to skin contact with her mother, but it was different case of their baby. Their baby girl, stops crying after hearing his voice.

“This is a very rare case. It seems that your baby have a strong bond with you.” The nurse explained, even no one asked her to.

Jonghyun was overwhelmed with joy as he heard the explanation from the nurse. He planted a soft and gent kiss against their baby’s bloody forehead to express how much he loves his daughter, before the nurse takes his baby to clean her up.

“How is he?” Jonghyun asked, as the nurse takes their baby away.

“Congratulations, both baby and mother are safe from any dangerous situation” The doctor shakes Jonghyun’s hands as he said that with a big smile.

Jonghyun also let a big smile curving on his lips after hearing that. He, once again approach the unconscious man and gently planted a soft kiss against the bow-shaped lips as a final gift before he once again disappear.

You are okay, that’s enough for me.

---

Jinki hurriedly approach Jonghyun, as the latter came out from the surgery room after two hours. It was relief to Jonghyun, but it was torture to Jinki, waiting outside the room without knowing how the surgery went.

“She was beautiful, Just like Bummie” Jonghyun stated

“How is Bummie?” Jinki inquired

“He’s okay” Was all Jonghyun replied.

“That’s a relief” Jinki finally let out a relief sigh and able to sit peacefully.

“I need to go…” Jonghyun suddenly stated which caused Jinki to sit up once again from the chair. Only then he remembered that he hasn’t told his aunty yet.

He quickly pried out his hand phone and make a call to Yeon U. Only after 10 minutes Yeon U finished her panic attack and able to communicate in peace, but she couldn’t hide the disappointment towards Jinki for not being able to tell them earlier. Jinki could only ask their forgiveness for that.

“I’m sorry hyung. I know you’re doing this for me and thank you so much for that. I’m so very happy right now that I could die.” Jonghyun said, after Jinki finished his phone call with Jonghyun’s former mother-in-law.

“Do you have to go?” Jinki asked the question, which the answer is obvious.

Jonghyun only smile to answer Jinki’s question. He wanted to stay, but he can’t. Who wanted to leave the newly born baby and a partner that is resting after the c-section surgery? But he didn’t have any choice. He’d rather die than seeing Kibum and his baby die because of his stubborn and selfish decision.

“Hyung, take care of Bummie and our daughter, I will always love Kibum no matter what.” Jonghyun said with a proud smile curving on his lips.

“Kibum…” Jinki is hesitating whether to utter the next words or not, but he decides to continue so that Jonghyun stops torturing himself, like he did for the past three month “…is getting married to his friend”

Jonghyun stops his steps immediately as he heard the news.

 It hurt so much that he didn’t know how to feel anymore. Well, he hoped for Kibum to find a new love right? That was it. His wish finally becomes a reality, a cruel reality that he had to go through it.

“W-when?” It was normal for a normal people to stutter after hearing that his loved one is getting married to someone else.

“In a month.” Jinki knew how Jonghyun is feeling at this moment, but he couldn’t do anything to change Kibum’s decision.

Kibum perfectly believes that Jonghyun never loves him. Jessica and her ally’s plan are perfectly succeeded; Jonghyun and Kibum’s relationships are beyond repaired.

 “I guess I have to accept that…” Jonghyun weakly uttered.

“What? Fight for it Jonghyun. Don’t let Kibum marry that guy!” Jinki shouted. He didn’t like the way Jonghyun handling this problem. He should fight for it, not to wait till miracle comes.

“Do you think I like this? I hate it so freaking much and I wanted to tell Kibum everything without leaving anything unsaid, but it come with a price hyung…and it was Kibum’s life. I could even offer my life to Kibum if it meant that Kibum will be happy. Don’t you think that he’d suffered enough? Me being with him would only threaten his life even more. He will forget me and loves that person. Please tell me that he will always be happy…Please Hyung?” Jonghyun said those hurtful things with tears streaming down on his cheeks.

Jinki went silent after Jonghyun’s words sinking through his brain. Everything that Jonghyun said is true. Jonghyun is already hurting but Jinki didn’t help by thinking that the younger didn’t fight enough to be with Kibum, when Jonghyun already did his best to make sure Kibum is safe without thinking of himself. This matter is about life and death; it couldn’t be taken too lightly.   

“He will and I’ll make sure of that” Jinki said before engulfing Jonghyun in his arms. He might not know Jonghyun for a long time, but he knew Jonghyun loves Kibum with all his heart.

Jonghyun let a small smile curving on his lips while his eyes are red and puffy.

“I want to take a last look at my daughter before I disappear from their life” Jonghyun broke the hug as he said that and he slowly took his steps away from Jinki, heading to the baby room.

“Find another person to love and also be happy” Jinki said before Jonghyun gets further away from him.

Jonghyun heard the last words from Jinki, but he ignored it instead of answering. He didn’t want to love anyone else, except Kibum.

I can’t love anyone else, Hyung. I don’t have anything to give to another. My heart wasn’t with me anymore. Kibum took it away since forever.

---

Jonghyun smiled at the beautiful baby girl in front of him. He wished he could see how beautiful his daughter will be when she grows up. Jonghyun lovingly placed a soft kiss against his daughter white forehead.

“Baby girl…I’m sorry I can’t be with you anymore. Please be a good girl towards your umma and your new appa. I will always love both of you till the end of my life. Don’t be sick and don’t even search for me. I could only hurt your umma. I’m a bad appa and husband. Don’t ever forgive me for that.” Jonghyun talks as if his daughter was listening to him.

But she cried as Jonghyun’s tears falls on his cheeks. It was as if she knew that her father is going away from her life. Jonghyun cried even more seeing his daughter desperate cry when the nurse tried to calm her down. He wanted to take her in his arms but, Kibum family will be arriving soon. He couldn’t be seen by them or Jinki will be blamed for this.

I’m sorry, baby girl but I have to go

Jonghyun hesitatingly took a step out from the baby’s room and his daughter’s cry started to fade away as he runs with all his might, to prevent himself from turning back. He is sure that if he stays, it will be a lot harder to leave.

I love you, Bummie…Please be happy.

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